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Attached

Attached

Amir Levine

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Five Secure Principles for Resolving Conflict

Five Secure Principles for Resolving Conflict

  1. Show basic concern for the other person's well-being.
  2. Maintain focus on the problem at hand.
  3. Refrain from generalizing the conflict.
  4. Be willig to engage.
  5. Effectively communicate feelings and needs.

4

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Insecure Conflict Strategies to Avoid

  1. Getting sidetracked from the real problem.
  2. Neglecting to effectively communicate feelings and needs.
  3. Reverting to personal attacks and destructiveness.
  4. Reacting "tit for tat" to the other's negativity with more negativity.
  5. Withdrawing.
  6. Forgetting to focus on the other's well-being.

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Types Of Attachment Styles

  1. Anxious attachment
  2. Secure attachment
  3. Avoidant attachment

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Attachment Theory

Attachment theory is a psychological, evolutionary and ethological theory concerning relationships between humans. The most important tenet is that young children need to develop a relationship with at least one primary caregiver for normal social and emotional development.

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23 reads

Secure

A securely attached adult will appear in the following ways:

  • excellent conflict resolution,
  • mentally flexible,
  • effective communicators,
  • avoidance of manipulation,
  • comfortable with closeness without fearfulness of being enmeshed,
  • quickly forgiving,
  • viewing sex and emotional intimacy as one,
  • believing they can positively impact their relationship,
  • and caring for their partner in the way they want to be cared for.

In summation, they are great partners who treat their spouses very well, as they are not afraid to give positively and ask for their needs to be met.

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14 reads

Securely attached adults believe that there are "many potential partners that would be responsive to their needs", and if they come across an individual who is not meeting their needs, they will typically lose interest very quickly. 

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28 reads

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