The Authenticity Paradox

There are two ways in which leaders develop their personal styles:

1. High self-monitors are naturally able to try on different styles until they find a good fit for themselves. They adapt to the demands of a situation without feeling fake. They care about managing their public image and may mask their vulnerability.
2. True-to-selfers tend to express what they really think and feel, even when it is counter to situational demands. It may make people question their ability to do the job.

Leadership growth usually means shifting from having good ideas to pitching them to diverse stakeholders. Inexperienced leaders, especially true-to-selfers, often find the process of getting buy-in artificial and political because they think their work should stand on its own merits.

Until we see growth as a way of extending our reach and increasing our impact, we will have trouble feeling authentic when expressing our strengths to influential people.

Negative feedback given to leaders is often about style and not about their skills or expertise. Negative feedback can then feel like a threat to their ability.

However, if they rationalize their behaviour and think their style is unchangeable, it may eventually lead to their undoing.

Without the benefit of an external perspective we get from experimenting with new leadership behaviours, habitual patterns of thought fence us in.

• Learn from diverse role models. We should view authenticity not as an intrinsic state but instead as the ability to adopt elements you have learned from others' styles and behaviours.
• Work on getting better. Setting goals for learning helps us experiment with our identities without feeling like a fraud. It motivates us to develop valued attributes.
• Don't stick to who you are as a leader. Instead, embrace how your style changes over time and keep editing it.