Overthinking goes into overdrive when we keep revisiting decisions we make, refusing to close the door on a call that has been made. Believe that you’ve done your due diligence, and revisit something you’ve already decided only when you’re presented with new information.

1. Reopen the door only when new information knocks.

Constantly ruminating and going over scenarios and possibilities often disguises itself as problem solving. It feels like you’re doing something good and useful. But you’re not, you’re just spinning in a circle. Recognize when you’re overthinking something, don’t act like it’s problem solving, and press fast-forward.

2. Know that overthinking and problem solving aren't the same 

This is a formula, a ratio, for how you should calculate how you value yourself, based on 90 percent self-worth, 10 percent assigned worth. Ninety percent should come from your self-acceptance and self-appreciation, and just 10 percent from that occasional sliver of external validation we all need.Overthinkers distort the formula, even reversing it by acting like 90 percent of their worth comes from what others think or say. So they worry, which takes the form of--you guessed it--overthinking.

3. Remember the 90-10 rule.

Overthinkers read too much into things. Why? They’re assuming something bad lies underneath, something like a bad perception, someone wishing them ill, or an unfavorable outcome.When you catch yourself doing this, switch your assumption to what you're reading into was well-intended, or at least neutral. The vast majority of the time, it really is, so why not act like it?

4. Assume good intent.

News flash: You can’t read the future, you can’t read minds, and you can’t know everything. So don’t try. Thinking harder doesn’t activate the crystal ball.

5. Embrace informed ignorance.

A Buddhist chaplain once taught me how to handle uncertainty. I remember his teachings as an acronym: OAR. Observe uncertainty, don’t overreact to it. Acknowledge the presence of uncertainty and accept that impermanence is inevitable. Realize that uncertainty brings benefits, like unleashing creativity and resilience.

6. Embrace uncertainty.

Overthinkers keep asking themselves “what if,” which is an impossible question to answer. If you catch yourself asking “what if,” quickly switch it to “we’ll see,” which is a way of moving past analysis paralysis to acceptance.

7. Replace “what if” with “we’ll see.”

By this I mean stop spending so much time in your head. Get outside it and switch gears to connect with what's going on around you so you can take joy in it. It can be dark and foreboding inside that head of yours, no?

8. Get outside and play.

Overthinking also comes from overworrying about the worse-case scenario, which of course no one wants to experience. But ask yourself, “What is the probability the undesirable outcome will actually occur?” Odds are, not very high.

9. Do the math.

Related to the above, this means stop taking small details and turning them into questionable conclusions. Stop making a mountain out of a molehill. Unlike at the mall, this kind of escalator lifts nobody up.

10. Stop framing the unremarkable as catastrophic.

We often feel the need to overthink because we simply fear being wrong. Ask yourself in such moments what the realistic cost of being wrong is. When you can lower the stakes, you raise your ability to get mentally unstuck.So don’t overthink it. Take the inspiration here and run with it. Without looking back.

11. Evaluate the true impact of being wrong.

11 Mental tricks to stop overthinking everything. 

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

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Mental Health

problemsolving

Problem Solving

communication

Communication

11 Mental Tricks to Stop Overthinking Everything

This “critical inner voice” exists in all of us, reminding us constantly that we aren’t good enough and don’t deserve what we want. As long as we are listening to this dangerous critic that twists our reality, we cannot really trust our own perceptions of what others think of us.Once we lose confidence or our sense of self, we’ll no longer act like ourselves.

What is our “critical inner voice”?

Chances are, it is this destructive “voice” we are hearing every time we tell ourselves, “nobody likes me.”<ul><li> It’s also this voice that instructs us to avoid situations where we’d get to know people.</li><li> It shuts us up in social situations, makes us nervous, so we don’t act like ourselves.</li><li> It confuses us with its ceaseless stream of self-shaming observations and self-limiting advice, leaving us anxious and stifled. .</li></ul>

Effects Of This Inner Voice

<ol><li>If a parent thought of us as lazy, helpless or as a troublemaker, we tend to incorporate these attitudes toward ourselves on an unconscious level throughout our lives. </li><li>Add to this the many other social experiences we had where we felt put down, shamed or rejected (a teacher who humiliated us in front of our class, a bully at school who put us down on a daily basis), and we can start to see how our inner critic took shape.</li></ol>

Where does the “voice” that “nobody likes me” come from?

The critical inner voice strongly influences feelings of isolation, loneliness and social anxiety<a href="https://www.psychalive.org/isolation-and-loneliness/"> </a>. This creates a self-fulfilling prophecy. If we start to see the world as threatening or not accepting of us, we are much more likely to act in ways that push away or alienate others. In order to challenge our loneliness, we have to challenge the negative filter through which we see ourselves and the world around us. We have to take on our critical inner voice.

Dealing with Isolation and Loneliness

There are five important steps to overcoming this inner critic.Step One: Get to know what your inner critic is telling you Step Two: Think about where these critical attitudes come from Step Three: Talk back to your critical inner voice Step Four: Think about how your voices affect your actions Step Five: Change your behavior

Overcoming the Critical Inner Voice

There is perhaps no more painful thought in the world than that of “nobody likes me.” It’s an easy self-attack to indulge and dwell on when we feel isolated, depressed, anxious or insecure.

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

“Nobody Likes Me:” Understanding Loneliness and Self-shame - PsychAlive

Working from home often means that supervisors don't know how hard their team works. As a result, you may feel overwhelmed with the tasks that are loaded on your plate. Don't assume you are supposed to feel overwhelmed. You should be able to speak to your team leader about your workload. However, some preparation would help.

Feeling overwhelmed with your workload

You can't just say that you have too much work. You need to be specific. Create a clear list of everything on your to-do list, due dates, and estimates of how long it will actually take to complete those tasks. This list will help understand the workload and what trade-offs would need to be made to have a more manageable list of tasks. However, be prepared for your boss to tell you that some tasks can be completed satisfactorily by doing less work that is good enough, not perfect.

Document your tasks

When you document your tasks, be clear about where requests come from and to whom you are passing your completed work. Your boss may be unaware of how many people add things to your to-do list. The information can help in deciding which people should be able to give you assignments and how those tasks should be handled. Knowing the groups' overall workflow can help determine what other aspects of a project depend on your contribution. This can help in setting priorities for your work.

Analyse your workflow

If you are already working efficiently, you'll have to determine which tasks will get done and which ones need to be passed on or left for now. Consider what work you would prioritise if you could decide what to do. Then, write down your justification and bring that information to the meeting. When your boss suggests a different set of priorities to yours, orient the discussion to understand the reasoning. This will help you know how people in supervisory roles think about workflow.

Suggest priorities

productivity

Productivity

How to talk to your boss about having too much work

Non-verbal gestures are classified as emblems and illustrators. <ul><li>Emblems are gestures that stand in for words, such as a "thumbs up" gesture and the "shhh" gesture. We can quickly know what they mean without much context.</li><li>Illustrators are gestures that accompany words. They are intimately related to the moment with speech, phrasing, content, voice, and so on.</li></ul> When you give a presentation, the hand gestures you are using are illustrators. Your hand motions combined with your speech are part of the communication process.

Hand gestures when you present

Palms are deeply connected to our brains and perceptions of others. When presenters want to gain the attention and trust of their audience, they speak with their palms facing up. Palms up or open body posture communicates that the speaker is trustworthy and vulnerable.

Speak with your palms up

Gestures are strongly connected to our thought process. When a speaker uses gestures, it benefits the audience and the speaker. Illustrators help the speaker past some awkwardness in speech or thought. It assists in the flow of his ideas while reducing filler words like "uh".

Use gestures when you get stuck

The most popular TED talk presenters use more gestures. For example, less popular talks have about 272 hand gestures, while the most popular talks have around 465 hand gestures. When charismatic leaders use hand gestures, the brain gets two explanations in one, and the brain loves that because gestures add to the meaning. Gestures are pull cues. When a presenter uses hand gestures, your attention is pulled and captured by the person.

The audience loves gestures

When you present, keep your gestures natural. When your gestures are contrived, they won't sit well with the audience. Use gestures that you would use in everyday conversation. However, use them with more intention and try and do them in the strike zone (the area between your shoulders and the top of your hips.) Anything bigger can get distracting. Also, ensure to mix up gestures and avoid repetitive motion.

Keep hand gestures natural

Tips on how you can become a master public speaker

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Books

videos

Videos

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Career

Master Public Speaking

Everybody loves a "Greatest Hits" album. We've compiled some of the best research and advice about hand gestures when presenting.

The Best Advice Out There on Hand Gestures

Many couples will privately admit that they are frustrated and disappointed with the person they've chosen to share their lives with. They may admit that their partner is too loyal to their annoying family, doesn't share their views, don't want to go on camping holidays,  and the list goes on. But they still love their partner and want to be happy together. What is driving the frustration is that they have preconceived ideas of how a relationship is supposed to be.

Frustration in a relationship

We often think that love involves a merger of two lives. We expect a loving couple must think the same, eat the same, have the same ideas, have only common friends. If it is not right in every way, we believe we need to reform the relationship. However, we need just three essential things from one another:<ul><li>Kindness: a partner who good-humouredly tolerates our imperfections.</li><li>Shared vulnerability: someone with whom we can be weak, vulnerable, and honest.</li><li>Understanding: someone who is interested in and can make sense of our minds and how we view the world.</li></ul>

Two perspectives of a relationship

If we have kindness, shared vulnerability, and understanding, we will feel satisfied and loved. When differences appear in other areas, we will be content. If we agree on every other area but lack these three ingredients, we will feel lonely and empty.

Three elements of a relationship

It can be hard to know what we really need from a relationship. But the task becomes much simpler if we keep in mind that every relationship requires just three crucial ingredients to work. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/2Xyn8Kj Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/39Hq7Wz Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/2XCj63C “Many people, after they’ve been in a couple for some time, will privately admit that they are – in many ways – frustrated and disappointed by the person they’ve chosen to share their lives with. If pressed for details, they will have no difficulty coming up with a list: their partner, they might complain:..” MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE Watch more films on RELATIONSHIPS in our playlist: http://bit.ly/TSOLrelationships SOCIAL MEDIA Feel free to follow us at the links below: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theschooloflifelondon/ CREDITS Produced in collaboration with: Gemma Green-Hope http://www.gemmagreenhope.com/ Title animation produced in collaboration with Vale Productions https://www.valeproductions.co.uk/

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Love & Relationships

It can be hard to know what we really need from a relationship. But the task becomes much simpler if we keep in mind that every relationship requires just three crucial ingredients to work.
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FURTHER READING

You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/2XCj63C

“Many people, after they’ve been in a couple for some time, will privately admit that they are – in many ways – frustrated and disappointed by the person they’ve chosen to share their lives with.  If pressed for details, they will have no difficulty coming up with a list: their partner, they might complain:..”


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Produced in collaboration with:

Gemma Green-Hope
http://www.gemmagreenhope.com/
 
Title animation produced in collaboration with

Vale Productions
https://www.valeproductions.co.uk/

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The Three Requirements of a Good Relationship

Overthinking goes into overdrive when we keep revisiting decisions we make, refusing to close the door on a call that has been made. Believe that you’ve done your due diligence, and revisit something you’ve already decided only when you’re presented with new information.

Constantly ruminating and going over scenarios and possibilities often disguises itself as problem solving. It feels like you’re doing something good and useful. But you’re not, you’re just spinning in a circle. Recognize when you’re overthinking something, don’t act like it’s problem solving, and press fast-forward.

2. Know that overthinking and problem solving aren't the same thing.

This is a formula, a ratio, for how you should calculate how you value yourself, based on 90 percent self-worth, 10 percent assigned worth. Ninety percent should come from your self-acceptance and self-appreciation, and just 10 percent from that occasional sliver of external validation we all need.Overthinkers distort the formula, even reversing it by acting like 90 percent of their worth comes from what others think or say. So they worry, which takes the form of--you guessed it--overthinking.

Overthinkers read too much into things. Why? They’re assuming something bad lies underneath, something like a bad perception, someone wishing them ill, or an unfavorable outcome. When you catch yourself doing this, switch your assumption to what you're reading into was well-intended, or at least neutral. The vast majority of the time, it really is, so why not act like it?

News flash: You can’t read the future, you can’t read minds, and you can’t know everything. So don’t try. Thinking harder doesn’t activate the crystal ball.

When we don’t know something, we tend to fill in the blanks, often with garbage assumptions. Why? Many of us would rather be unhappy than uncertain. Garbage assumptions can take many forms, all infusing themselves into the inner monologue of the overthinker.

Overthinkers keep asking themselves “what if,” which is an impossible question to answer. If you catch yourself asking “what if,” quickly switch it to “we’ll see,” which is a way of moving past analysis paralysis to acceptance.

By this I mean stop spending so much time in your head. Get outside it and switch gears to connect with what's going on around you so you can take joy in it. It can be dark and foreboding inside that head of yours, no?

Overthinking also comes from overworrying about the worse-case scenario, which of course no one wants to experience. But ask yourself, “What is the probability the undesirable outcome will actually occur?” Odds are, not very high.

Related to the above, this means stop taking small details and turning them into questionable conclusions. Stop making a mountain out of a molehill. Unlike at the mall, this kind of escalator lifts nobody up.

We often feel the need to overthink because we simply fear being wrong. It might make sense to overthink things if you’re planning to jump your motorbike over the Grand Canyon or to go swimming with a great white shark. As for overthinking the decision you made in that meeting yesterday? Not so much.Ask yourself in such moments what the realistic cost of being wrong is. When you can lower the stakes, you raise your ability to get mentally unstuck.So don’t overthink it. Take the inspiration here and run with it. Without looking back.

Getting rid of overthinking isn't easy. Thanks to these outstanding ideas by Scott Mautz that make solutions simple for us.

“Life is not meant to be easy, my child; but take courage: it can be delightful.”

He soon established himself as a fluent and effective speaker,Here are some George Bernard Shaw Quotes.

motivationandinspiration

Motivation & Inspiration

63 Inspiring George Bernard Shaw Quotes 

“Success isn’t determined by how many times you win, but by how you play the week after you lose.”

It's not about how you win, it's about how to raise after losing. 

first man to hit a three-time World Cup title as Brazil's victory secures the right to take home the Jules Rimet trophy.  Here are some Pele Quotes.

corporateculture

Corporate Culture

20 Most Inspirational Pele Quotes

Just spend a minute to identify at least one thing in your life that is not necessary and kill that today. You must kill something about you that is unnecessary for your life. Identify something specific that you will be better off without, where you can take a concrete step today – it does not matter how small it is. Choose one specific little thing that you will not do anymore, no matter what.

#1: Kill Your Lies

Decide on something that you can do and that you will do. This is how to transform your life – by taking small steps.

Look at life in terms of what can be changed and do something about it. <ul><li>Crying about things that you cannot change is a sure strategy to remain at status quo. </li></ul>At least once a month, identify one small thing about yourself that you want to change. Like, <ul><li>“Every time before I eat, I will spend 10 seconds in gratitude for this food which is going to become a part of me.” </li><li>“Every time I use anything that is an essential element of my life, like the soil, the water, the air, and everything else around me, I will save 1% of it.”</li></ul>

 #2: Break the status quo

A significant thing every human being has to do is structure their psychological and emotional framework around the most fundamental fact of their life – their mortality. Right now, it takes a lifetime for people to understand that they are mortal; they need a heart attack or the appearance of a malignant lump somewhere to remind them.You need to celebrate and enjoy every moment of your life because life does not wait for you even for a moment.

#3: Remember you are mortal

You are mortal and it is ticking away. So there is no time for frustration, depression, anxiety, anger or for any unpleasantness in this life.

Within yourself, is it more pleasant to be loving, or to be angry, hateful and jealous? Which is a more intelligent way to exist? Loving, isn’t it? All I am saying is, please live intelligently. This is not for someone else’s sake. It is pleasant and beautiful for you. Creating a loving world is not a service that you do for someone else. It is an intelligent way to exist.

 #4: Choose to live intelligently

In many ways, most people’s happiness, peace and love are mortgaged to the external situation. So, if the stock market goes up you are happy, if the stock market goes down you are unhappy. But the quality of life is not about what is around you. Living joyfully and peacefully is not new to you. You were like that as a child, isn’t it? So, I am not talking about taking you beyond, I am just talking about starting at the square one of your life.

#5: Determine the quality of your life

Noticing the stupidity of who you are is great intelligence. Anything in this existence – a tree, a blade of grass, a grain of sand, one single atom – do you understand any of these things fully? No. When this is your level of intelligence and perception, how should you walk in the world? Gently, with a little humility, respect and love for everything around you. If not love, then at least with awe, because you don’t understand a damn thing in this world.If you just learn to walk like this, you will not escape a spiritual process. You don’t need any teaching. It will happen to you anyway.

#6: There is intelligence in humility

The difference between a fool and an intelligent person is that an intelligent person knows how foolish he is; a fool does not.

Your inner world – if you want to call it that – should only be a reflection of what is around you. You get corrupted by what is around you only when you have opinions about everything.You look at one thing as good, something else as bad. You get attached to what you consider as good. You desperately try to avoid what you consider as bad, and of course that will rule you from inside. . Seeing everything just the way it is – that is the way to be within. If you see something other than what is there, it means you are contaminating the world with your opinions and prejudices.

 #7: There is no good and bad

Sadhguru in this article explains 7 most important life lessons to never forget. 

Sadhguru shares 7 of the most important life lessons to remember if you want to make your life beautiful and profound.

habits

Habits

7 Most Important Life Lessons to Never Forget

Colour has an emotional component to it. That is why we feel at home and relaxed in some rooms and unwelcome or tense in others. Colours also help us communicate, such as the red stop sign or orange traffic cone. Colours can help us display creativity and establish brands. However, we often don't know how to create with colour. Four tips can help when you design presentation graphics or a business card.

Creating with colour

As children, we often chose colours because we liked them. But as adults, we need to think more carefully about why we use colour. Resist the urge to use colour for the sake of being colourful. Instead, use colour selectively. Use it to direct attention or highlight the most important parts of the message. It is often best to use shades of grey with a single bold colour.

Use colour for the right reason

Using too many colours cause the message to get lost. It can also cause overwhelm and confuse your users. To communicate clearly, limit the number of colours you use in your design to 3-colours.Divide colour usage according to the 60-30-10 rule.<ul><li>The primary colour should dominate 60% of your visualisation,</li><li>30% should be dedicated to the secondary colour</li><li>10% is an accent colour that will highlight important information.</li></ul> If you need more contrast, consider using shades of the colours you already have.

Limit your palette

Nearly 300 million people worldwide are colourblind. The most prevalent issue for colourblindness involves green and red. Generally, try to avoid using shades of red and green. If you have to use one or both of these colours, consider using a text table as well. Many designers substitute red and green with orange and blue, which is easy to view for most people.

Design with accessibility in mind

Colours don't have the same meanings in all cultures. A white flag might communicate a "truce" in Western and Asian cultures, but it is a silver flag in Arab or African cultures. Or, if you want a slide deck with a palette that invoke feelings of happiness, green, yellow, white or red might be good choices depending on the cultural makeup of your audience.

Understand how colour meanings differ with culture

Whether building a slide deck for your presentation or designing your business card, use these 4 tips to use color like a pro.

product

Product & Design

4 Ways to Use Color Like a Pro

Find 100+ Facts About Communication  - Curated from inspiring sources like Books, Podcasts & Articles - Genuine Insights from like-minded Users like You!

11 Mental Tricks to Stop Overthinking Everything

“Nobody Likes Me:” Understanding Loneliness and Self-shame - PsychAlive

How to talk to your boss about having too much work

The Best Advice Out There on Hand Gestures

The Three Requirements of a Good Relationship

11 Mental Tricks to Stop Overthinking Everything

63 Inspiring George Bernard Shaw Quotes

20 Most Inspirational Pele Quotes

7 Most Important Life Lessons to Never Forget

4 Ways to Use Color Like a Pro

It's time to Read like a Pro.

It's time to
Read like a Pro.