It’s normal to feel frustrated with your <a href="https://www.fatherly.com/life/how-to-be-a-better-partner">partner </a>from time to time. Hell, we’d even go as far as to say that it’s weird to never feel frustrated with them. <a href="https://www.fatherly.com/life/damn-good-marriage-advice">Marriage </a>can be frustrating. When two people live together, coping with bills, mortgages, kids, schedules, in-laws, mouth breathing, weird snacking, and everything in between, one person will inevitably drive the other one a bit nuts. But frustration can quickly deteriorate into <a href="https://www.fatherly.com/love-money/how-to-let-go-of-resentment">resentment </a>or full-on <a href="https://www.fatherly.com/love-money/anger-management-tools-therapists-pissed/">anger </a>. So, the trick becomes understanding how to deal with frustration in a healthy way.

“It is normal for everyone to feel frustrated with their partner,” says <a href="https://www.cheritimko.com/">Cheri Timko </a>, a Couples Relationship Coach. “Part of living together is navigating how to be two people with different personalities and still live together peacefully.” How we handle the differences can greatly influence other parts of the relationship, so it is important to be particularly aware in these situations. “When they are handled poorly,” Timko adds, “it can lead to anger and resentment for both partners. When done well, situations of frustration can help build and strengthen your bond.”

Before you let your frustration get the better of you, take a moment and try to take some of this expert advice.

This is age-less advice for a reason. It can be very easy to get so consumed by your own frustration that you’re only able to see how it affects you. But if you try to take a look at the situation from your partner’s side and ask yourself how you might feel, or how you might react, and chances are you’ll be in a better place.

1. Put Yourself In Their Shoes

“Think of how this situation is related to other situations for your partner,” adds Timko. “This is not your interpretation, but what you know they would say if they explained it to you.” If you are stuck, Timko suggests writing a letter from them to you explaining their experience in the situation.

Why? Because how else are you going to get to the root of your frustration? The key is calm. Talk to your partner and ask them to explain the reasoning behind their actions and emotions. Listen and ask questions to try and gain some understanding. “It is important that you choose a good time to ask so you both stay calm,” Timko says. “You may not get the opportunity to describe your part, but knowing what is happening for your partner will help you deal with it better.”

2. Ask For Their Input

If you’ve been with someone long enough, you usually can start to tell when things are going badly. When you sense a tense situation beginning to brew, it might be wiser to try and nip the argument in the bud before it gets worse. “Know ahead of time what are the signs and symptoms that your frustration and irritation are growing and what you need to do to manage them,” says Timko. Calling a timeout and returning to a conversation when you’ve cooled down (and actually re-engaging with it) is always an excellent strategy.

3. Have a Plan

It’s always good to remember that you and your spouse are playing the long game. Sometimes you may have to give more in a certain situation and other times, it’s your partner who will have to put their feelings aside to focus on you. If you are both in it together, you can navigate these bumps in the road and keep your focus on the longevity of your partnership. “Every relationship has times when one partner puts in more,” says Timko. “You may need to be the bigger person in this situation. As hard as it is, it is an investment in the future of the relationship.”

4. Take a Big Picture View

When tensions are running high, someone is going to say or do something that will set one or both of you off. Wait until you’ve both cooled off to address what it is that’s frustrating you. “Choose the time to discuss your frustrations carefully,” says Timko. “Bad times are when your partner is busy with other things, before work or bed, or when either of you are frustrated or exhausted. If this is all of the time, you might have a bigger problem in the relationship than just the situation that is irritating you.”

5. Talk to Your Partner — When You’re Calm

You can’t control how your partner behaves, but you can control your own reaction to their behavior. If they’re doing something or saying something that frustrates you, and you let it get you to the point where you yourself fly off the handle, then you’ve only made the situation worse. “You are responsible for bringing your best self to as many situations as possible,” says Timko. “For many people, managing your own emotions is something they consider as a bare minimum in a relationship.”

6. Govern Your Own Feelings

Being aware of what’s happening around you — and understanding that, oh, you or your partner might be stressed because of X and Y factors —n can help you approach a stressful situation more rationally. “We are at our worst when something big is changing in our lives,” Timko says. “It is important that you keep a careful watch for how these things are affecting you so you don’t let the frustration build.”

7. Consider Outside Influences

Frustration can sometimes build to a point where you and your partner can’t stand to be in the same space. However, even when two people get to that point, they continue to battle it out, talking and arguing until tempers flare and things are said that both partners regret. Before you reach that point, take a moment to step away and get clear. Go for a run, engage in a solo activity or just find a quiet spot to gather your thoughts.

8. Take Some Space — And Use Your Words

It’s important that you calmly let your partner know that you’re taking space and why you’re doing it. “Verbally explaining what you’re doing can be extremely helpful for a partner who may easily jump to conclusions or assume the worst if you temporarily disappear–either emotionally or physically,” explains marriage and family therapist <a href="https://ambertrueblood.com/">Amber Trueblood. </a>

Very often, we tend to lay the blame for our feelings solely at the feet of our partner. They become the source for all of our frustration, irritation, and anger. We say things like, “She always does this,” or “He never listens.” In the worst case scenarios, we might start to think, “If I wasn’t with him/her, everything would be better.” The truth is, while our partner may be frustrating, the level of frustration we take it to is a result of the tape loop that plays in our own heads.

9. Recognize Your Own Narrative

Does your partner really always do something? Do they really never listen? “Once you can identify these narratives, you have the power to challenge them,” says <a href="https://www.aspenrelationshipcoaching.com/podcast">Lori Ann Kret, </a>a Licensed Clinical Social Worker. “You can choose to look for the exceptions; those moments when your partner really does show up for you in the way that you need them to.”

9 Things To Do When You're Feeling Frustrated With Your Partner

It's natural to feel frustrated. What matters is how you deal with that frustration. Here are nine productive things to do when you're annoyed with your partner

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Personal Development

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Learning & Education

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Mental Health

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Communication

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Love & Relationships

Limerence is a state of infatuation or obsession with another person that involves an all-consuming passion and intrusive thoughts.It is often a result of not being present either through trauma or certain childhood development issues. Alternatively, you may experience it when you are run down, if you haven’t had enough sleep for example, and are lacking serotonin. So, you fantasize that someone else could save you and crystallize those thoughts into a golden image of 'the one.'

Limerence Involves Intrusive Thoughts

Here are a couple of ways that the two are frustratingly similar. <ul><li>You are drawn to a certain person. Confusing hardly does it justice. When you’re in limerence with someone, it’s similar to falling in love. The attraction is real. It is a form of infatuation which can mirror the early stages of falling in love where you obsessively think about the other person.</li><li>It can happen with anyone, anytime. You never know when you’re about to fall in love and it can happen with the most implausible people. As it turns out, limerence is the same. </li></ul>

Limerence vs. Love: Similarities

The main difference here is that love requires a real, meaningful connection with another person, while limerence is all about the chase and lusting after someone.<ul><li>Limerence is the feeling that the object of their desire will complete them. This can be a form of trauma bonding where one person is seeking to be 'saved' by another.</li><li>The limerent person is desperate to have the object no matter whether it is good for either of them and they may idealize them</li><li>Seeing a bunch of red flags and ignoring them? You might be in limerence. </li><li>You neglect your own needs for them. </li><li>There could be an underlying reas<warningtag>on that your default is limerence. Deep down the limerent person may be afraid of genuine connection and may be more comfortable with the distance. There may be psychological reasons and fear why they prefer obsessing over connecting.</warningtag></li></ul>

Limerence vs. Love: Differences

A collection of ideas for changing your attitude and overcoming unwanted intrusive thoughts

problemsolving

Problem Solving

health

Health

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

How to Cope With Intrusive Thoughts

Limerence: the state of infatuation or obsession with another person that involves an all-consuming passion and intrusive thoughts.

What is limerence? A therapist defines limerence, explains how it compare to love, and what to do if you are falling in limerence.

Limerence vs. Love: What's the Difference?

Limerence and Intrusive Thoughts

<ul><li>Praise we've earned can be motivating and help us build confidence. </li><li>Narcissists may use praise to control others by manipulating their sense of self-worth and relational security. </li><li>Narcissists may use praise as love, praise as intimacy, praise as unearned entitlement, and praise paired with abuse to disempower others. </li> </ul>Ah, praise. It can lift us up and send us flying to lofty heights. It can validate, it can motivate, and it can inspire. And, as is true of anything with the power to make us feel so good, praise has a dark side. In the wrong hands, praise has the power to harm.

Key points

<ol><li>Praise is not love. Praise is conditional and may be offered or withheld. Love, particularly of a child, must be freely given regardless of performance, behavior, or "status." Love is always there. Praise comes and goes. </li><li>Praise can only be granted by others. Where there is praise, there is always the absence of praise, because praise can only be granted by someone else. As a source of self-worth, it is not sustainable or sustaining because it is external, fleeting, and ultimately beyond our control. </li><li>Unearned praise is disempowering. Whereas love only feels genuine when it is freely given, praise only feels genuine when we've earned it. Unearned praise disempowers others, particularly children, by sending the message that praise is an entitlement rather than something earned with hard work. </li><li>Praise can lead to over-reliance. When we lack feelings of self-love and cannot validate ourselves internally, we can become over-reliant on external praise from others. </li> </ol>

Understanding Praise

3. Unearned praise is disempowering. Whereas love only feels genuine when it is freely given, praise only feels genuine when we've earned it. Unearned praise disempowers others, particularly children, by sending the message that praise is an entitlement rather than something earned with hard work.4. Praise can lead to over-reliance. When we lack feelings of self-love and cannot validate ourselves internally, we can become over-reliant on external praise from others.

As we know, the <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/narcissism">narcissistic </a><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/personality">personality </a>tends to be relationally antagonistic: competitive, exploitative, and oppressively controlling. Narcissists themselves often seek out praise, and they often use praise to manipulate and control others.

<ol><li>Narcissists use praise in place of love. At the core of the narcissistic personality is a flawed belief that praise is love. In dysfunctional narcissistic families and relationships, acceptance is conditional and praise is used instead of love. Using praise as affection fosters insecurity in others and gives the narcissist control over their sense of relational safety and self-worth.</li></ol>

2. Narcissists "love-bomb" with praise to fake <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/relationships">intimacy </a>. Love and intimacy are developed through reciprocity, shared vulnerability, and earned trust. Intimacy should never be experienced as a fiery explosion. But narcissistic people often engage in love-bombing, in which they use excessive praise, <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/attention">attention </a>, and flattery to seduce others into unwarranted trust and premature commitment.

3. Narcissists treat praise as entitlement. People, particularly children, who are reinforced for their efforts internalize a sense of agency and earned <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/confidence">confidence </a>, which fosters <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/self-esteem">self-esteem </a>and healthy independence. By contrast, praising people for being special or superior rather than for their hard work fosters an unearned and therefore insecure sense of entitlement. By granting "special" status and privilege to a chosen few and by denying it to others, narcissists dictate what people value in themselves and those around them.

4. Narcissists use praise to foster dependency and reliance. By alternating praise and forms of abuse, narcissists foster dependency and even reliance in others. Children or partners treated to this type of manipulation can become <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/trauma">trauma </a>-bonded to the narcissist, who uses intermittent reinforcement to control the activation of their <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/fear">fear </a>response (fight/flight) and reward system (<a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/dopamine">dopamine </a>).

We all can benefit at times from praise that we've earned. Humans are social animals who naturally seek validation from the group, and praise for our efforts can be motivating and help us build confidence that can sustain us through times of trial and adversity. But praise used as a substitute for love or intimacy, granted as an unearned entitlement, or paired with abuse is manipulative and disempowering, and it can create trauma bonds between narcissists and those they seek to dominate.

Conclusion

How Narcissists Weaponize Praise

There is nothing worse than being forced to deal with a toxic person against your will. When you think about the word "toxic," associated words like "poison" can come up. Toxic people are harmful to everyone they are around and the places they frequent. The mere presence of a toxic person in your life can be devastating!

A person that has been labeled as "toxic" exhibits bad behaviors that hurt others or impact them negatively. They are good at manipulating people for their own self-interests. Many people who behave in a toxic way have experienced trauma themselves or <a href="https://www.yourtango.com/experts/nancy-carbone/signs-emotional-abuse-trauma-bonding-relationship-mistaken-love">been exposed to a toxic relationship </a>. Instead of addressing their issues in a healthy manner, they start showing toxic traits. Toxic people don’t know how to deal with the internal stress in a normal and functional way, so they become unpleasant, inflicting the pain they have been subjected to onto others.

What does it mean to be toxic?

You will know when you’ve encountered a toxic person because you will leave feeling worse than you did upon arrival. But there is a difference between being toxic and having toxic behaviors. Toxic people in your life, such as family members and friends, can do extreme damage to your mental and emotional wellbeing. Spending time in long-term relationships with them can cause you to act out the same behaviors.

Sometimes, you might not realize that you, yourself, are a toxic person. But just because you are toxic now doesn’t mean you have to stay that way. Recognizing the signs of a toxic personality can help you overcome your own pitfalls and have healthy relationships.

20 Signs You’re A Toxic Person

If you tend to leave people worse off than you found them, you might be toxic. If your actions frequently make others feel bad, the common denominator is you.

1. You make people feel bad.

No one wants to be around a person they cannot stand. If family and friends always make excuses when you invite them to places, you may be the problem.

2. People avoid you at all costs.

If you believe you are the smartest person in every room you enter, you are likely toxic. People who are toxic have a need to be better than everyone else and <a href="https://www.yourtango.com/2020333349/symptoms-signs-superiority-complex-someone-you-know">carry a superiority complex </a>everywhere they go.

3. You have a superiority complex.

You see others are pawns, there to bend to your will. You believe you know what is best for everyone and are unwilling to hear any alternatives.

4. You're controlling.

You like to use emotional blackmail to get your way. You might threaten to harm yourself or go away in an attempt to spur action from other people. This is toxicity at its finest.

5. You're emotionally manipulative.

You can be caught in the act of doing something absolutely egregious. Instead of admitting fault and apologizing, you play the blame game and deflect.

6. You lack accountability.

Passive-aggressiveness is a flashing neon sign when it comes to toxic people. You never say what you mean or mean what you say. It’s hard for people to know where they stand with you because you are two-faced.

7. You're passive-aggressive.

Everything in your life that goes wrong is blamed on an external force. You never take responsibility for your actions or learn from the mistakes of your past. Instead, you see life as unfair and yourself as the victim.

8. You take no responsibility.

If you’ve ever heard someone say, “a listening ear is near a running mouth,” no doubt they have been exposed to the wrath of a toxic person. With no loyalty to anyone, toxic folks have no problem sharing your secrets with whoever will listen to them, no matter how damaging.

9. You talk behind people’s backs.

With toxic people, instead of showing genuine concern for those who are struggling, you look for ways to benefit from their pain. You might give a homeless person a dollar and post it on social media for likes.

10. You exploit people’s vulnerability.

When dealing with a toxic person, no good deed goes unpunished. People’s kindness is taken as an indication of their lack of strength, and you will eagerly try and take advantage if an opportunity presents itself.

Rather than pull someone aside for a private conversation, you discuss humiliating topics out in the open with the intent of looking good in front of an audience. You might pretend to be joking, but hurting someone in public is no laughing matter. People see it for exactly what it is: toxic behavior.

12. You enjoy embarrassing people.

When most people have disagreements, they can discuss it, come to an understanding, forgive and forget. But not you. Instead, you want the person who did you wrong to know you have no intentions of letting it go.

13. You hold grudges forever.

You see everything as a personal attack on you. No one can give you constructive criticism for fear of the repercussions. When you feel slighted, you go on the attack, and nothing is off limits.

14. You take things personally.

Instead of celebrating the wins of people around you, <a href="https://www.yourtango.com/2020332043/what-is-jealousy-how-identifying-two-main-triggers-can-actually-help-you-feel-safe-your-relationship">you experience an intense jealousy </a>. You downplay their successes of others to make them seem insignificant.

15. You're a hater.

You make it extremely clear that anyone who crosses you will pay a steep price. You have no qualms about threatening anyone who gets in your way.

16. You threaten people.

You run your life like a dictatorship where whatever you say goes. This should not be surprising as it coincides with your superiority complex and desire to control everything and everyone around you.

17. You're unwilling to compromise.

Disclosing things that are not yours to tell isn’t your only untrustworthy behavior. You bend with the wind, turning on people who thought you had their backs. You will throw anyone under the bus to save yourself.

18. You're untrustworthy.

It’s hard to know how you will feel from one moment to the next. People may have playfully called you "bipolar" or said you are “all over the place” due to your lack of consistency in your behavior.

19. You're super moody.

While others get emotionally drained from drama, it gives you energy. You love to whip up a tornado of anxiety and tension because that’s what you need to make your life exciting.

20. You love drama.

So, you’ve assessed yourself and decided that, much to your discontentment, you are toxic and need to do something about it. This is the most important part of overcoming toxicity, and there are steps you can take to change your ways.First, understand that behavior can be adjusted. Simply being toxic doesn’t make you a bad person. It just means you need to be aware and take actions to do better.Next, because you now understand exactly what actions make you toxic, practice new behaviors until they become a habit. It might be helpful to track interactions in a journal so you can reflect later.

How to Stop Being Toxic

Ask for the opinions of people you trust and accept their answers. They are the ones experiencing you and are best equipped to give feedback. Make sure you do not threaten or punish them for their transparency. If you are still struggling to be a better person, reach out to a licensed mental health professional to get tools that can help you build beautiful relationships.

20 Signs You're An Extremely Toxic Person & Are Difficult To Be Around 

Am I Toxic? If You Notice That People Can't Stand To Be Around You, Or Your Behavior Is Off-putting, You Might Be A Toxic Person. Luckily, There Are Ways To Change That.

20 Signs You're An Extremely Toxic Person & Are Difficult To Be Around

Before you can move on from a relationship, you’ll need to give yourself however much time and space is necessary to get to a place of acceptance. <ul><li>Even though it may not have worked out the way you wanted, accepting that the relationship was limited and is over is very important.  So even if it seems to be taking a long time – and you’re tired of taking two steps forward, then one step back – be gentle with yourself during the process.</li><li> If you catch yourself harboring fantasies of getting back together, just smile at yourself and turn those visions off. </li><li>Accept that this chapter of your life has<warningtag> closed and tell yourself you’ll be better off by moving on. </warningtag></li></ul>

Move forward after a breakup: Accept the situation

Maybe one day the two of you can be friends again, but now is not the time. Your heart is still freshly wounded and seeing or contacting him will only make things worse. Keeping your distance is vital for the healing process to not only begin but to become complete.<ul><li>If some of his belongings are still at your place, have a friend, relative or roommate stay home when he comes to pick them up so you don’t have to see him. If you need to retrieve items from his place, send a friend to do the deed. </li><li>Resist the urge to call, text or email him to see how he’s doing or to find out if he thinks the two <warningtag>of you made a huge mistake by breaking up. Keeping in contact with him now may leave you hoping he’s thinking about getting back together.</warningtag><warningtag> </warningtag></li></ul>

Move forward after a breakup: Distance yourself

In the beginning, you’ll probably need to get everything off your chest by talking about the breakup with friends and relatives. That’s healthy. Go ahead and get it all out. Bottling up emotions is not conducive to moving on, and can be downright unhealthy..Once you’ve let it all out, try to stop talking about him. If you don’t, your friends may start avoiding your company. Talk about something else – or better yet, let your friends talk instead. They might not say so, but they’ll welcome the reprieve.

Move forward after a breakup: Stop talking about it

While it’s tempting to play the blame game after a breakup, it won’t help you. Going over and over hurtful scenarios only keeps you focused on negative emotions. So close the book on that chapter of your life and focus on figuring out how to move on. Resist the urge to blame yourself, the other person, or anyone else (your meddling parents, his annoying friends) for what went wrong in the relationship. Accept that fact and move on to something better.

Move forward after a breakup: Skip the blame game

Part of learning how to move on after a break-up is learning from your experience. This includes the break-up itself as well as your entire relationship. Ask yourself what words or behaviors you’d want to repeat in the future, and which things you aren’t proud of yourself for saying or doing. Think about what was great about the relationship, what wasn’t so great, and what led to the demise of the relationship.

Move forward after a breakup: Learn from it

Picture yourself completely over your ex. This may take some time, but keep working at it until the picture of your new life is truly in focus. Then enjoy feeling that sense of pride and accomplishment for getting over him and moving on.

Move forward after a breakup: Picture yourself getting over it

Make sure you give yourself plenty of time to focus on yourself before beginning another relationship. Do something just for you and give yourself some time to connect with your inner self. <ul><li>Spend some quality time with close friends and family members. </li><li>Take up a hobby, volunteer somewhere, or take a class. </li><li>Keep yourself busy, but be careful that you don’t overload on activities just to distract yourself from your ex. </li><li>That will make your “downtime” seem even more painful. </li><li>Do something to boost your self-esteem, which has likely taken a bit of a beating since the breakup. Get a new haircut, for <warningtag>example.</warningtag></li></ul>

Move forward after a breakup: Focus on yourself 

If you haven’t gone out to a social event since the break-up, now is the time. This doesn’t mean you should pick up the first cute guy you spot at a bar, but you’ll feel better if you get dressed up and put yourself out in the world to socialize and meet new people. But don’t go someplace where you’re bound to run into him – pick someplace new!

Move forward after a breakup: Get out there! 

Figuring out how to move on after a break-up doesn’t mean going overboard with excessive socializing, meeting hundreds of new people, and flirting up a storm with every man you meet. Just relax, go slow and enjoy yourself.

Move forward after a breakup: Take it nice and slow

Not every person is like the one you just broke up with – and not every relationship will be like that one, especially if you learn how to move on in a healthy way by learning from your mistakes. Your previous relationship broke up for a reason, so open your mind, broaden your horizons, and look for a new kind of relationship that will be different and way better than what you had before.

Move forward after a breakup: Don’t generalize and don’t compare

Feeling stuck in life? How to actually move forward

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Motivation & Inspiration

Ways to Move Forward When You're Feeling Stuck

How To Move On, 10 Steps For Post-Break Up Closure. Browse hundreds of free women’s articles and more at LifeScript.com.

How To Move On: 10 Steps For Closure After You Break Up

How To Move Forward After A Breakup

Too often, people think it’s as easy as moving on, but this is one of the many myths about grief. Rather than move on from our grief, we must instead find ways to move forward with it."Grief is this multitasking emotion... you can and will be sad, and happy; you'll be grieving, and able to love in the same year or week... . We need to remember that a grieving person is going to laugh again and smile again… they're going to move forward. But that doesn't mean that they've moved on" said Nora McInerny in her candid <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=khkJkR-ipfw&ab_channel=TED">TED Talk about life and death.</a>

Move forward with your grief

Following the loss of a loved one, it’s important to remember the grieving process has no set timeline. We don’t just grieve the moment they pass and move on. Instead, we grieve the past and present. We grieve what could have been the future. This is because our loved one is more than just one moment in time.While there’s no right or wrong way to grieve your loss, there are healthy ways to cope, including:<ul><li>Accept that grief can trigger unexpected feelings, including anger and denial.</li><li>Understand that the grieving process will be unique to you<warningtag> and your situation.</warningtag></li><li><warningtag>Seek out support from trusted family members, friends, and professional support groups.</warningtag></li><li><warningtag>Support yourself emotionally by taking care of yourself physically.</warningtag></li><li><warningtag>You can’t rush your grief, so allow yourself as much time as you need to process your feelings surrounding the loss.</warningtag></li></ul>

Grief is not a moment in time

Have you heard the phrase, “Time heals all wounds?” Some people believe this phrase is a catchall for grief—that in time, the anger, depression, guilt or regret will just go away. This is simply not true. The point here is that not all wounds are meant to heal with time.It hurts to lose someone we love. That loss shapes and defines who we are, and it never really goes away. Instead, we carry it with us as we move forward into the next chapter of our lives, and what helps us heal is what we do with our time after they’ve passed.Whether it’s finishing a project your loved one was working on or v<warningtag>olunteering at their favorite charity, there are ways to fill up your time that can help you cope.</warningtag>

Not all wounds are meant to heal

<ul><li>Attempting to face joy after the loss of a loved one is complicated. Whether the loss comes expectedly or unexpectedly, it has the power to disrupt our lives, leaving us numb.</li><li>While one day you feel happy, other days you may feel sad. With each new day, allow yourself to embrace the stages of grief as they come, rather than avoiding them altogether.</li><li>In doing so, we gradually learn how to live with loss in our hearts. That doesn’t mean we forget about our loved ones, we just learn how to go on living without their physical presence.</li><li>And while you can never replace the absence left by someone you l<warningtag>oved and cared for, </warningtag><warningtag>you can fill your life with purpose in his or her honor to help you feel happy again.</warningtag></li></ul>

You can be happy and sad

Rather than moving on from our grief, we must instead find ways to move forward with it.

In her talk, Nora McInerny encourages us to shift our approach to grief. Instead of moving on, she explains how to move forward with life after a loss.

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Religion & Spirituality

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Videos

In a talk that's by turns heartbreaking and hilarious, writer and podcaster Nora McInerny shares her hard-earned wisdom about life and death. Her candid approach to something that will, let's face it, affect us all, is as liberating as it is gut-wrenching. Most powerfully, she encourages us to shift how we approach grief. "A grieving person is going to laugh again and smile again," she says. "They're going to move forward. But that doesn't mean that they've moved on."

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We don't "move on" from grief. We move forward with it | Nora McInerny

Do We Move On or Move Forward From Grief?

Let’s unpack some of love’s deepest secrets and discover what love is, and how and why we feel it.

From novels like Pride & Prejudice to plays like Romeo and Juliet and songs like “Can’t help falling in love”—it seems that love has always fascinated the <a href="https://www.newinterestingfacts.com/psychology-facts-about-human-behavior/">human mind </a>.   You might be thinking that everyone knows what love is—it’s the feeling you have for your partner, family and friends. However, as with all things in life, there’s more underneath the surface. For example, did you know that there are four types of love?

Love comes from our subconscious mind, containing ten times more information than our conscious mind, thus making love an uncontrollable feeling that we cannot get rid of.

1. The Science Behind Love

Oxytocin is the love hormone for a reason and gets released by your body once you embrace or cuddle with someone. The hormone is found in the brain and sexual organs and could contribute to the bonding process between two individuals.

2. Hugs and Cuddles

A common belief is that <a href="https://www.newinterestingfacts.com/interesting-facts-about-men/">men </a>who kiss their wives in the morning live up to five years longer. Kissing sparks the brain’s pleasure centers, leaving you feeling euphoric throughout the day. A kiss from your loved one can lighten your mood and reduce stress, which is highly beneficial to your health.

3. A Kiss of Life

Love can be healing for couples with deep connections. If <a href="https://www.newinterestingfacts.com/intimate-questions-to-ask-your-partner/">your partner </a>is going through a rough patch, you can soothe them by holding their hand.

4. Holding Hands Affects the Body

Agape is a concept of love found in the Bible that describes God’s love for humankind and humankind’s love for God. The word “Agape” is of <a href="https://www.newinterestingfacts.com/facts-about-ancient-greece/">Greek origin </a>and is considered the highest form of love not only by Christians but by other religions too. <a href="https://www.newinterestingfacts.com/interesting-facts-about-buddhism/">Buddhists </a>believe that Agape is the foundational love for all humanity.

5. Agape: Love of Humanity

Philia can describe the love of a long <a href="https://www.newinterestingfacts.com/psychological-facts-about-relationships/">relationship </a>, a good friendship or familial bonds. This type of love can be comforting and make you experience more positive emotions.

6. Philia: Love of Friends and Equals

Storge is the love parents have for their children. Mothers are very familiar with this type of love as it comes naturally to them when they give birth. Storge can be seen as an unconditional love as parents (especially mothers) tend to love their children regardless of bad behavior.

7. Storge: Love of Parents for Children

Eros is a dangerous type of love fuelled by passion and can become addictive. Passionate love depends not on values and <a href="https://www.newinterestingfacts.com/psychological-facts-about-personality/">personality </a>but sexual attractions and desires.

8. Eros: Erotic, Passionate Love

Love helps us feel safe and cared for. We need it to function in our everyday lives because we can’t reach our goals without assurance and support. Studies have shown that babies who do not receive nurturing and affection would later grow up to be psychologically damaged.

9. Why Do We Need Love?

How do you know when you’re in love? Here are some signs that might help you:   <ul><li>You feel giddy and nervous around them. </li><li>You can’t wait to see them again once they’ve left. </li><li>You don’t mind making sacrifices for them and would give up your time to see them. </li><li>You will feel sexually aroused by them. </li><li>You focus on the positive only. People in love are more likely to overlook negative behavior from their partner or <a href="https://www.newinterestingfacts.com/psychological-facts-about-crushes/">new crush </a>. </li> </ul>

10. Signs That You Might Be in Love

An emotionally dependent relationship stems from neediness rather than true love. Emotionally dependent partners may think they’re in love, but they require attention, support and approval from their partner because of a lack of self-love.

11. Emotional Dependence vs Love

The process of love can be broken down into three stages which everyone will go through to discover their passion. The three stages of love are:   <ul><li>Stage 1 – Lust. </li><li>Stage 2 – Attraction. </li><li>Stage 3 – Attachment. </li> </ul>

13. The Three Levels of Love

According to psychology, <a href="https://www.newinterestingfacts.com/psychological-facts-about-dreams/">dreams </a>reveal our deepest desires, secrets and <a href="https://www.newinterestingfacts.com/facts-about-anxiety/">fears and anxieties </a>. Love dreams can reveal many hidden truths about ourselves. For example, a dream about falling in love with a stranger could mean that you’re feeling unfulfilled. Or a love dream about your partner could mean that you have a strong connection.

14. Love Dreams

Infatuation is a fleeting but strong connection to someone or something, whereas love takes time to forge a deep relationship between two people.

15. Is There a Difference Between Infatuation and Love?

You can be in love with multiple people at the same time without <a href="https://www.newinterestingfacts.com/psychological-facts-about-cheating/">cheating on your partner </a>depending on what type of love it is. You might still have a passion for an ex, or fall for someone new while you’re in a relationship. Also, love is complex, and it could have a different meaning for everyone. Some people are set on meeting the “one”, while others might embrace open <a href="https://www.newinterestingfacts.com/psychological-facts-about-long-distance-relationships/">relationships </a>.

16. Can You Love More Than One Partner?

The earlier man could not love the way we do today. With the enlargement of our brains, we developed our cognitive abilities and communication skills. And with the growth of these skills and language, we became more self-aware, thus creating an awareness of love. As we evolved, so did love from its humble beginnings of a mother/infant bond.

17. The Evolution of Love

Here are the seven types of love:   <ul><li>Infatuation </li><li>Friendship </li><li>Companionate love </li><li>Romantic love </li><li>Consummate Love </li><li>Fatuous Love </li> </ul>

18. There Are Seven Types of Love

Men and women experience love differently; for example, men fall in love within 18 seconds, while it takes women up to 15 days. Research shows that women are less likely to initiate sex when they’re in love, and with men it’s the opposite. Other studies have found that men are more romantic and will likely say “I love you” first.

19. Gender and Love

55 Fascinating Psychology Facts About Love - Most People Don't Know 

ou might be thinking that everyone knows what love is—it’s the feeling you have for your partner, family and friends. However, as with all things in life, there’s more underneath the surface. Here are 55 psychology facts about love most people don't know

55 Fascinating Psychology Facts about Love (2022) Most People Don't Know I Interesting Facts

Find 100+ Facts about Love & Relationships - Curated from trusted sources like  Books, Podcasts & Articles - Genuine Insights from like-minded Users like You!

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55 Fascinating Psychology Facts about Love (2022) Most People Don't Know I Interesting Facts

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