"It's either my marriage works fine or I don't get married at all". That was a promise I made to myself from the first time I saw partners of a marriage relationship that didn't work fine. They were ready to break up the marriage. And they were expressing their regret for getting married. I looked at them and said to myself "I don't ever want to experience this" To keep the promise I started looking out for advice on how to make a marriage work fine. I was 16 then. I didn't seek advice from anyone because I didn't want them to tell me I was too young to be thinking about marriage.

Tips To Make Your Marriage Work Fine And Last Forever

And at 16, I didn't have access to the internet. I would have sought advice from the internet. So I gave up. But I hoped that when I get older and have access to the internet, I'll get what I was looking for.When I got older and had access to the internet, I started looking out for advice on the internet. I read articles online, I read blog posts, and I followed Twitter trends that were related to what I was looking for. With these, I got lots of advice from the internet, but I wasn't satisfied. Because;

1. Most of the advice online was only best for the relationship of boyfriend and girlfriend(dating). They won't do so much in achieving the goal of marriage like building a peaceful home, keeping the family together, understanding and taking up the roles and responsibilities of husband and wife, and so on. 2. Most of the advice was biased. People online mostly advise to push an agenda. They don't care if their advice will help people or not, as long as it propagates what they want.

For example, a feminist would give marriage advice that pushes the feminist idea than give advice on how to make the marriage work fine for the couples. Hey, I don't have anything against feminists. I just... Okay never mind.So when I wasn't satisfied with the advice I got online I decided to help myself. Look out for a marriage that's working fine and learn from it. It took me a while to realize what I was looking for was right under my nose.

My family has never come close to being broken. And In 23yrs of my life, I've never heard or seen my parents argue or fight. So far, their relationship has been an amazing joy ride. Not that they didn't have some marriage issues in the past, they did. But they stuck together, fight it, and overcame it. Since then, they've been enjoying every bit of their marriage.So all I needed to do was to study my parent's marriage relationship, see why it's working fine for them, and learn from it.And from what I've learned so far, I'll give you three tips to make your marriage work fine.

1. Know the kind of person your partner is.Knowing your partner is necessary, especially before marriage. Because it shows you a clear picture of what the marriage will be like. It answers questions like;Am I safe with this person? Will this person give me peace? Is this person worthy of my life commitment? Does this person even love and respect me? Can I achieve my goal of marriage with this person? Will getting married to this person help me achieve my life dreams? Am I okay with living the rest of my life with this kind of person? Will the marriage be fun-filled?

Can I and this person coexist peacefully? And so onThe answers to these questions will give you a clear picture of what the marriage will be like. And then you can choose if that's the kind of marriage you want or not.However, some people get it wrong. When you ask them if they know their partner, they say yes. Then they start talking about their partner's best colors, favorite place to go, shoe size, dream job, what they like to have for dinner, where they'd like to travel to, etc.

Knowing all these about them doesn't mean you know the kind of person they are, it only means that you have information about them.Knowing someone you want to marry should go beyond having information about them. You should be able to define the kind of person they are. You should know their character, their emotional and mental state, their life goals, their view of life, their background, their values, etc.

And sometimes you think you know your partner well enough to get married to them. But soon after marriage, they become an entirely different person to you. And you'd be like "This is not the person I married". Yea that's exactly the person you married. What happened was that you relied on what they show you as who they are. You didn't take your time to study them and figure out who they are on your own. Don't accept what people present to you as who they are, see them from your perspective, and don't doubt what you see.

2. Your home's(family) well-being should always be your first priority.Your home's well-being has to do with the happiness, health, safety, prosperity, and financial provisions of your family. This strengthens the love, peace, happiness, and togetherness among the members of the family, which puts the family in positive social, mental, and emotional condition. And This is what a marriage needs to be beautiful and last forever.

The primary goal of a marriage is to start a loving family and build a peaceful and happy home with the person you love, and be happy, peaceful, respected, loved, and feel safe in that home. But this can't be achieved if the family's well-being is not in place. And if it's not achieved then the marriage isn't working fine. Most times, that's even the reason for divorce. If someone can't find happiness, peace and doesn't feel safe in a marriage, they leave that marriage.Why should your family's well-being always be your first priority?

Because if it's not you might fail in your duty to take care of the family's wellbeing.How do you take care of your family's well-being?By nurturing the family and providing for the needs of the family. It should be shared as a responsibility between you and your partner.In my family and in most of Africa where I'm from, the wife/mother nurtures the family. She cooks the family's meals, makes sure the house is in order, gets the children ready for school, etc. While the husband/father provides for the family's needs and wants. He's responsible to pay all the family's bills.

Although, I feel the father and mother can take up any of the responsibilities. But if we are defining it as roles, the mother should ensure the home is well nurtured and the father should work his butt off to make sure the family doesn't lack their needs and wants.Women are making it clear that they can't perform their roles as mothers and wives because of their careers. There's absolutely nothing wrong with loving your career and taking it seriously.

But if your career won't allow you to carry out your role as a mother and a wife, it will negatively affect your family's well-being. So my advice is, don't get married or start a family if your career will not allow you to be there for your family.3. Keep building your home till your last breath.When you finally have the happy and peaceful home you've always wanted. Don't ever stop investing in your home. The moment you stop building your home, it's likely to fall apart.

So don't ever stop trying to know your partner more and don't ever stop putting your family's well-being ahead of every other thing. This way, your marriage will work fine.This is how it is in my family. My parents took their time to know each other before their marriage and they won't put anything above their family's well-being. And this is what makes their marriage beautiful and what makes their family happy and peaceful as it is.I wish everyone a happy married life...

loveandrelationships

Love & Relationships

Marraige relationship

From slow speeds when you start and stop your engine to full-speed cruising down the freeway of your day-to-day, this book summary will explain what the different gears are and when you should use them. By following their lead, you can become more connected to all the situations and people you encounter every day.

Introduction

First gear is for individual recharge; second gear is for connecting deeply with friends or family; third gear is for casual socializing; fourth gear is for working and getting multiple tasks done; fifth gear is fully focusing on a single project.

#1: To avoid being disconnected from others, you need to use the right gear for each situation.

example is a funny video on YouTube of a kiss-cam incident at a basketball game, where a man is so focused on the court that he ignores the camera on him and his date, causing her to kiss another man instead! Too much focus can cause you to miss opportunities at which you might otherwise jump.

#2: Fifth gear is good for getting something specific done but can make you miss important opportunities.

One of the most common examples of this is waking up and checking your emails, meaning that you run headfirst into the day in fourth gear. But imagine a sports team playing an important game; they don’t come charging out the locker room and straight onto the field without warming up first or warming down after!

#3: Fourth gear is the most commonly used for day-to-day action, but people tend to overdo it and risk burning out.

In the same way, you can create new opportunities in third gear by being genuinely curious about other people’s interests and giving them your full attention, since you never know where it might lead. Just remember not to spend your whole life socializing in third gear – you wouldn’t get anything done or have time to relax and develop real relationships as you would when you shift down to second gear.

#4: Third gear is important for building relationships, but many find it difficult to entertain other people's interests.

Second gear requires the most joint responsibility, as everyone must be truly in gear for it to work. Just as the open-door policy clashed with fifth gear, if someone comes to you in second gear and you’re not present too, you’re only wasting their time.

#5: Second gear is for cementing real relationships but is all too often ignored or forced at inappropriate times.

No matter how you recharge, just remember to try and fit in some first gear both first thing in the morning and last thing at night, whether it’s a morning yoga session or cooking family dinner in the evening. After all, you wouldn’t try to start or stop your car without using first gear, so why do the same with yourself? If you recharge regularly and effectively, then all your other gears will also run smoothly throughout your day.

 #6: First gear is about personal recharge and is vital for the other gears but requires individual action.

So how can you make sure you reverse correctly? Probably the most important thing is to use it sincerely – using an apology to get out of disagreements or manipulate others into getting what you want is not healthy behavior and the opposite of being responsive. Make sure you reverse only when you know you’re wrong, and then make sure you do it every time.

#7: Apologizing in reverse gear is important for maintaining respect and influence, but needs sincerity.

Many of us are stuck in one mode, but this isn’t enough. Understanding each of the 5 Gears and when best to use them is the key to being present in every part of your life. From the high focus of fifth gear to multitasking in fourth, socializing in third, connecting with your loved ones in second or taking time for yourself in first, each gear has a right and wrong time and place, even reverse! So long as you know which gears you lean on and which you avoid, you can start to apply the correct one to each part of your day, until you’re fully present in each situation.

KEY ADVICE

Incorporate the language into your office or family.

Actionable advice:

they are important to me and will ne important to all reading the article you bring the terminology of 5 Gears to your home or office, you can easily let others know when you or they are in a different gear to what’s needed. If a colleague is still talking business at lunch, just tell them to switch to third, or if your child is looking for attention while you’re in fifth, flash them five fingers. The message is clear, and no one gets offended by a personal slight – it’s just a case of changing gear!

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

habits

Habits

timemanagement

Time Management

5 Gears Summary, Review PDF

Letting go has a lot of similarities to quitting, but one big difference.<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">When someone quits it’s generally highly emotional and filled with frustration or anger that something isn’t going as well as they thought.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Letting go no longer has an emotional attachment. </li><li class="ql-align-justify">It’s a moment where you realize this person, thing or situation isn’t serving you anymore, it’s not something you want anymore, and it no longer causes you stress. It’s a feeling and action of peace, of freedom.</li></ul>

Letting Go Vs. Quitting 

Quitting is a bright red faced, loud, screaming toddler while letting go is an old woman with long white hair sitting in a peaceful green garden smiling.

The only question you need to answer to know the difference : Why am I doing this?<ul><li>When you can really clarify why you’re doing something, why you’re doing it for you, not anyone else, it will either make you realize you need to keep working hard to get what you want and you’re feeling a little moment of wanting to quit or it will make you realize there is no reason why. </li><li>When you can’t clarify why you’re doing something, it means it’s time to let it go.</li></ul>

How do you recognize the difference

The difference between letting go and quitting 

When you’re a kid, you hear things like, “Winners never quit and quitters never win” (Vince Lombardi). Then suddenly as an adult you start to think that any time you stop doing something, you’re a…

career

Career

mentalhealth

Mental Health

The Difference Between Giving Up and Letting Go

Finding the right partner feels like a whole lot of work. There are so many moving parts to a relationship–attractiveness, trust, honesty, communication, intimacy, sex life, etc.–that it may feel like there’s no hope in finding a partner that you can spend your life with.

Ways on How to Choose a Life Partner

<ul><li>First, you need to acknowledge your strengths and your weaknesses. </li><li>Then you need to appreciate and love them for what they are.</li></ul>

1. Learn to love yourself

<ul><li>This step is the most fun because it is the ultimate filter. </li><li>You are going to weed out people that aren’t a good fit for you and draw in those that are perfect for you.</li><li> It might rub some people the wrong way, but if it does, let them go.</li></ul>

2. Be unapologetically you

When you are on the lookout for a suitable partner, make sure the person who interests you is someone with a good sense of humor, and this is what you must seek while choosing a marriage partner without any doubts.

3. Look for someone who makes you laugh

<ul>
<li>Having shared values reinforces the foundation of your relationship.</li>
<li>Simple things such as consensus on the number of children you want or living within your means create a conducive environment for your relationship to thrive.</li>
</ul>

4. Ensure you both have common basics

<ul><li>At one point, you will feel seeing a person that you have found your suitable partner because they shower you with love, gifts, and compliments, but that is not all you must look for. </li><li>As you move ahead with each other, love will take a backseat, and you both will be exposed to each other as a person- who you are from inside.</li></ul>

5. Find someone who is a first, a good human

The more time you spend with your prospective partner, the better it will be for you to understand them.

6. Spend a lot of time together

<ul><li>A person willing to be in a long-term relationship with you will show genuine support for your ambitions and goals in life.</li><li> Your potential life partner should be supportive of your plans to advance your career or pursue a worthy course.</li></ul>

7. Consider a life partner keen on your life

<ul><li>Closely related to anger management skills is your partner’s ability to forgive and forget. </li><li>Love does not always revolve around kissing and other intimate stuff. Arguments are deemed to occur in one way or another. </li><li>Be keen to get a partner who does not keep dwelling on disagreements that happened in the past</li></ul>

8.  Ability to forgive and forget

<ul><li>A relationship is a two-way street. </li><li>Each party must be determined to make the relationship work. </li><li>When choosing the right partner for marriage, select a person who allocates time for you and demonstrates concern for your needs.</li></ul>

9. Willingness to invest in the relationship

Choosing the right life partner is a high stake decision. You have to select the right partner in order to lead a happy married life. Below are essential things to consider before choosing a life partner.

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

25 Ways on How to Choose a Life Partner

At one point or another, most people will experience the tingling of love or something similar. They will also likely experience the thrill of developing a romantic relationship. Some will last. Others will go by fleetingly. There will, at the very least, have one aspect in common – the feeling we call “love.” Many poets and philosophers have pondered upon how that is defined and what that means. Scientists have taken a more practical approach and may have found some answers through their observations.

21 Fascinating Psychological Facts About Relationships 

That feeling of love comes with some very interesting and observable effects on our bodies and minds. Here are just a few fascinating psychological facts about relationships.

Your senses may feel heightened a lot of the time <a href="https://www.newinterestingfacts.com/psychology-facts-about-love/">when you’re in love </a>. Your body also reveals a lot about what’s happening and what you respond to. Let’s start with some of the more interesting side-effects of being in a relationship.

This is going to sound like something from a Sci-Fi movie. When two people are in love, and they share those long, engaging stares, their heartbeats start to synchronize. The explanations for this aren’t quite worked out yet, but a study definitely showed that couples observed during loving moments had their hearts reset to nearly identical rates.

1. Two Hearts Beating As One

One vaguely connected theory about the above is that it may explain why we think that staring at <a href="https://www.newinterestingfacts.com/psychological-facts-about-soulmates/">your soulmate </a>makes you fall in love easier. There may be something to that old cliche: “Our eyes met across a crowded room.”

2. The Eyes Have It

Specialists have given serotonin the name “the love hormone,” and it has an interesting neurological effect on physical pain. It is said that when the production of this hormone is stimulated, it may relieve physical pain.A study offering serotonin to headache sufferers showed that when used in treatment, it relieved pain in the majority of subjects. The presence or image of a loved one is shown to relieve physical pain, as well, due to serotonin being produced. If your <a href="https://www.newinterestingfacts.com/intimate-questions-to-ask-your-partner/">partner </a>has a headache, try sending them a picture of you.

3. The Love Hormone

Love isn’t just one emotion or even one level of emotion. Most agree that it goes through stages (neurologically speaking, as well.) Initial obsession turns into calmer versions of the attraction as time goes along.

4. Love is More Than One  Emotion

According to several studies on the matter, people are more likely to be attracted to partners with different strengths in terms of their immune systems. Some suggest this is linked to genetic impulses connected to species propagation.

5. Diversity Rules

It’s important and very rewarding to laugh together. We can perhaps take that to mean that if you’re looking to build on a young relationship, try watching some comedy or doing amusing activities. Laughing together builds stronger emotions, according to psychologists.

6. Laughter Is Good for Relationships

The Brain releases lots of chemicals for all kinds of reasons. Love is no different. Alarmingly for some, a brain in love experiences similar chemical responses as someone consuming cocaine. The hormone dopamine is stimulated, which is also found when the drugs like cocaine and nicotine are used. Love is healthier than the other, though.

7. Love Is a Drug

The feelings of attraction and love also stimulate the production of testosterone, adrenaline, and oxytocin, according to The Journal of Sexual Medicine. All of these are required when it comes to love and attraction, for the most part.

8. Hormones Play a Part

A person in love experiences high levels of serotonin. This is interesting because the levels discussed are similar to those found in <a href="https://psychiatry.org/patients-families/obsessive-compulsive-disorder/what-is-obsessive-compulsive-disorder">Obsessive Compulsive Disorder </a>conditions. Scientists say this explains why the object of your affections is ever-present in your mind.

9. The OCD Connection

According to at least one study found in Cognitive, Affective, & Behavioral Neuroscience, love seems to create a desire to improve upon ourselves in other aspects of life. It seems to provide motivation and energy to process emotions like empathy, compassion, and even charity.

10. Love Makes Us Better People

Contrary to traditional wisdom (including books, films, and poetry), it’s men who seem to fall into the well of love a lot quicker than women. Of course, that’s an assumption. It could also be that <a href="https://www.newinterestingfacts.com/psychological-facts-about-guys-in-love/">guys </a>just tend to say it sooner.  Social culture has had it that men act bolder, at least traditionally. That may also have added the unexpected side effect that <a href="https://www.newinterestingfacts.com/psychological-facts-about-guys-in-love">men in love </a>do tend to be more emotionally commitment-ready.

11. Men Fall in Love Easier

Meeting someone at a bar and waking up with them the next day may not be love. <a href="https://www.newinterestingfacts.com/interesting-facts-about-science/">Science </a>shows that taking things too fast has an impact on different parts of the brain. However, that initial feeling of euphoria may feel similar, but a one-night stand is associated more with reward centers in the Brain than centers associated with longer-term infatuation.

12. Beware of the Quick Fix

When you’re in love (and other times), you sometimes get that feeling in your tummy described as “butterflies.” It’s as if the muscles in your belly are floating or perhaps firing off spontaneously. That is adrenaline going haywire, and it energizes and excites you. Some interpreted it as being nervous, too, which is why you are hyper-aware whenever that person is in the room.

13. Butterflies Are Common in Relationships

This is a bit of a double-edged sword. On the one hand, you are likely to be generally much better mentally and emotionally when your relationship is fresh and new. Over time, this feeling seems to fade. This means that you are mentally healthiest when you are in a new relationship (assuming it’s making you happy).

14. To Love and Good Health

By contrast, when a relationship breaks up, the impact on your health is measurable. The chemicals and hormones triggered by the stress and distress can actually weaken your heart and negatively impact your general wellness.  When they say some people die of a broken heart, the sentiment is more real than you might think. In fact, <a href="https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/broken-heart-syndrome/symptoms-causes/syc-20354617">Broken Heart Syndrome </a>is a medical condition sometimes mistaken for a heart attack. Image by <a href="https://pixabay.com/photos/couple-love-kiss-romantic-6706278/">Hoàng Đông Trịnh Lê </a>from Pixabay

15. Beware of the Downs

Kissing is important in that it determines whether potential relationships have that “chemistry.” Kissing also plays an important role in long-term relationships in that it helps to keep emotional and psychological bonds strong.

16. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

In terms of chemistry, people with high levels of either estrogen or testosterone seem to attract someone with the opposite hormone in abundance. On a related note, there is also a bizarre finding from a study where subjects were asked to smell t-shirts belonging to different potential partners. In a blind test, women chose T-shirts of men that had different immune system makeup to themselves. That is to say; they statistically chose the t-shirts of men who had different vulnerabilities in terms of illness and disease.

17. The T-Shirt Test

On the other hand, statistics show that people also tend to choose people that have similar features to either themselves or their opposite-sex parent. Some factors include the sizes of ears, color, the familiarity of eyes, and even lung capacity. How weird is that?

If you suffer from hypertension (high blood pressure), studies show that the happiness resulting from a loving relationship helps to manage the condition. A happy home helps with happy blood pressure, in other words. The opposite is also probably true, however. An unhappy relationship might well be bad for your stress and blood pressure levels.

18. The Blood That Moves the Body

Your brain has a lot to do with your mental state, and that includes any feelings you might have towards another. Consider these aspects when you’re in love or in a relationship.

Your Brain Is Set on Fire

The total combination of hormones and chemicals triggered by being in love makes the feeling very addictive. It’s the key to staying euphoric about the person and the state of mind you’re in. Perhaps this offers some clue as to why it’s easier to fall in love in dangerous or high-adrenaline situations. The jury is out on whether this means good things for a long-term relationship, but the brain is certainly more open to possibilities when on the end of a bungee cord, for example.

19. Dangerous Love

Being close to your loved one is a great stress reliever. On those difficult days, take time out to hug it out. It will provide a positive kick to your mood and drop your stress levels.

20. Hugs, Not Bugs

Finally, one way to tell if you’re really in love is to see if you’re finding fault with the object of your affection. If they seem absolutely perfect in every way, you’re hooked. This may be a biological impulse in that it should maintain your fascination long enough to want to procreate.  Related Posts You Might Enjoy:

21. The Perfection Paradox

21 Fascinating Psychological Facts About Relationships

At one point or another, most people will experience the tingling of love or something similar. They will also likely experience the thrill of developing a romantic relationship. Here are 21 fascinating psychological facts about relationships most people don't know

health

Health

21 Fascinating Psychological Facts about Relationships (2022) Most People Don't Know

I barely report about my own life but this time it seems necessary. Reimagine your life, im sure there were times where you underestiminated someones ability to solve a quest. When i learned one thing in doing a body power-based job for nearly 8 years, then that we all have the possibilities to shine in a specific topic.

Your interests define your abilities and your will to tell others about it, will define in which way you will be accepted as an intellectual. As soon i had started my second carreer in the IT section, i managed near the same or more contacts per day as the old elite in my company. One could say quantity isnt a sign of success, but i also got much less reports then others when i handled the topic the wrong way. Regardless of my illness which prevents doing a normal job anymore, i found my way out of the boredom where no one seemed to have an urge for deeper conversations.

Dont take the same road of missing respect and be open for others abilities, as well as your own. The choice of your input, wether videos, podcasts, books or other types of media will take you nearer to a fullfilled life. Allow yourself to shine in a world that seems filled with more and more garbage every day.

philosophy

Philosophy

Danger of Underestimination

You sure have seen it in almost every movie, a nerd or book-smart person has trouble finding love. But like Drew Barrymore in Never Been Kissed or Leonard Hofstadter in The Big Bang Theory, they eventually find love.But of course, real life is quite different from what you see in the movies. So, what is the problem? Why do intelligent people seem to have difficulties finding love?

Can You Be Too Smart For Love?

You need to be aware that there are several types of intelligence. There are book smart, street smart, diligent individuals, and so on. To be sensitive can sometimes also mean to be emotionally intelligent. It's about understanding what kind of smart you are. The problem lies when you're street smart and have a more skeptical view of love. Given your firsthand and secondhand experience, you may even be bitter about love. And when you're a nerd, you barely notice your surroundings and fail to recognize emotions that are happening and therefore miss out on love.

Defining intelligence

Communication is the most crucial key to any relationship. It doesn't work in any other way. So how does intelligence play a part in this? The Big Bang Theory may only be a sitcom that stereotypes intelligence gaps in a romantic setting. But the message they send is crystal clear. Even the smartest person in the group, Sheldon Cooper, needs to build his communications skills to keep his relationship with Amy Farah-Fowler.

Intelligence Gap in Relationships

Many people will take a couple with similar educational backgrounds as a good match. But there are many examples of couples with intelligence gaps between them further away from the public eye. These couples work around those gaps by having good communication skills or better managing their emotions. At any rate, intelligence may be one of the reasons for you to pursue a relationship. But it shouldn't be the only reason to stay in a relationship.

Have you ever wondered if Tinder for intelligent people exists? Do highly intelligent individuals meet at MENSA conventions? Does dating a smart person mean you have to fill out a questionnaire on your habit and preferences like signing up on a dating website? There seems to be an endless list of possibilities on how smart people can find love. The answer is that intelligent people find love the same way as other people. It can start as a workplace romance or a meeting through a hobby or even a family event. They can even meet through a dating website.

How Do Intelligent People Find Love

The possibility is endless since love can be a myriad of things. Smart people can use their intelligence to coin new terms or define love like the one they need. But in the end, they will go through the traditional route to find love. When you're looking for a life partner, you sure want someone whose intelligence matches yours. But rather than focusing on the intelligence gap, you should focus on how you two communicate to ensure the relationship's longevity. After all, love is about having the same footing and equilibrium between you and your partner.

This article is very interesting to understand the topic. 

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Sintelly - Can You Be Too Smart for Love?

Warren Buffett's definition of success:  When you’re nearing your end of life, your only measure of success should be the number of “people you want to have love you actually do love you.”

The measure of success

“I know people who have a lot of money, and they get testimonial dinners and they get hospital wings named after them. But the truth is that nobody in the world loves them. If you get to my age in life and nobody thinks well of you, I don’t care how big your bank account is, your life is a disaster.”

Count on billionaire Warren Buffett to deliver the gift of wisdom right when you need it most. At the end of your life, he says the greatest measure of success comes down to just number.

moneyandinvestments

Money & Investments

motivationandinspiration

Motivation & Inspiration

Warren Buffett: This is your 1 greatest measure of success in life (and if you don't have it, 'your life is a disaster')

“When the student is ready the teacher will appear. When the student is truly ready… The teacher will Disappear”

10 Japanese Concepts For Self-Improvement and a Balanced Life 

Omoiyari means caring and showing sincere consideration for others.Japanese fans made the headlines in 2018 when they tidied up a football stadium after the game.Omoiyari is also manifested in the designs of products. For example, Japanese hi-tech toilets have a warm seat, washer, and a sound to cover those ‘unpleasant’ noises.Practicing omoiyari is said to help build compassion and empathy toward others.

Omoiyari

Ikigai is the Japanese term for the state of well-being induced by devotion to enjoyable activities, which leads to a sense of fulfillment, according to Japanese psychologist Michiko Kumano.It is said that in Japan, people who have a purpose in life live longer.Your ikigai is what gets you up every morning and keeps you going.

Ikigai 

Wabi-sabi is a concept that encourages us to embrace our imperfections and accept the natural cycle of life.Everything in life, including us, is in a state of flux. Change is the only constant, everything is transient, and nothing is ever complete.By practicing wabi-sabi, we are taught to be grateful and accepting and strive for excellence rather than perfection.

Wabi Sabi

Mottainai means respecting the resources we have, not wasting them, and using them with a sense of gratitude.Uniqlo uses “Mottainai: Old Clothes, New Life” to achieve zero waste.The concept invites us to be grateful and intentional about our actions and think of ways to help make this world more sustainable.

Mottainai

Shin-Gi-Tai translates as “mind, technique, and body.”Mind, technique, and body are the three elements for maximum performance used in martial arts.The concepts can be applied to any domain. Take, for example, chess. Your performance is not solely dependent on your chess skills at the board. Winning also requires a mindset that can cope with stress and setbacks during hours of uninterrupted concentration.

Shin-Gi-Tai

The framework can also be applied to building habits. The framework can be mapped to the Fogg Behavior Model, which is expressed as a short formula: Behavior = Motivation (Mind), Ability (Technique), and Prompt (Body). A healthy body and a sound mind are the foundation for developing and refining any skills.

Shu-Ha-Ri translates as “follow, breakaway, and transcend.”It is a way of thinking about how to learn and master a technique. There are 3 stages to acquiring knowledge: Shu: learn the basics by following the teaching of one master. Imitating the work of great masters also falls in this stage.Ha: start experimenting, learn from masters, and integrate the learning into the practice.Ri: This stage focuses on innovation and adapting the learning to different situations.

Shu-Ha-Ri

Kaizen is a method of continuous improvement based on the theory that small, ongoing positive changes can be significant.Kaizen reminds us to let go of assumptions and perfectionism. It teaches us to take an iterative, progressive approach to change.This concept is vital to instill good habits and achieve excellence.

Kaizen

This concept describes having empathy towards things and their inevitable passing.This concept reminds us that nothing in life is permanent. We should willingly and gracefully let go of our attachments to transient things.

Mono No Aware 

Christel Takigawa, the ambassador for the Tokyo 2020 bid, popularized this concept in her speech to the International Olympic Committee.The concept is all about offering the best service without expecting a reward. It’s an important part of Japanese culture and deeply rooted in how Japanese society functions.

Omotenashi

Ho-Ren-So translates as “report, inform, and consult.”The concept forms the basis of all communication, collaboration, and healthy information sharing in a Japanese organization. It focuses on the roots of the communication line, streamlining the flow of information, and preventing issues from happening again.The Japanese argument is that the Ho-Ren-So, through collaboration and communication, strengthens subordinate employee relationships and provides a platform for the subordinate to learn from their superior.

Ho-Ren-So

It is good practice to encourage everyone to report issues and problems immediately. Even if a solution is not found, the cost of a problem that is not reported can be high.

This techniques are really very positive and useful. 

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Medium – 10 Japanese Concepts For Self-Improvement and a Balanced Life

Your path to healing following an abusive relationship will look different from the guidance provided here. The National Domestic Violence Hotline has resources for those experiencing abuse. (Heads up: The following advice is largely catered toward unmarried couples without children.) 	• In moments of longing for connection, seek support from trusted friends and confidantes — not your ex	• Have a list of people you can text or call in instances fulled with loneliness instead of feeling tempted to reach out to your former partner - don’t lean on one person exclusively

• Get out a pen and paper (or Google doc) and list the reasons you’re benefiting from the split. Then, repeat the exercise, focusing on the negatives of the relationship	• To help combat the identity crisis that comes after a breakup, engage in activities you gave up or put on the back burner during your relationship	• Evaluate how you feel after 30 days of no contact, and then work toward another 30 days. Eventually, the desire to reach out may be nonexistent

• Regardless of who initiated the breakup, blocking your ex’s number and their social media accounts for at least the first six to eight weeks after splitting	• While the wound is still fresh for your ex, do not maintain a platonic relationship with them

Ways to get over a breakup if you’ve been dumped, you caused the split, or if the breakup is mutual.

How to get over a breakup — no matter which side of it you’re on

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