One of the most easily recognised features of <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/basics/ocd">OCD</a> is the seemingly illogical actions people initiate while suffering from the condition. However, even though these rituals may seem illogical to the casual observer, our work has demonstrated that these rituals have an intelligible underlying logic of their own. It is also important to point out that successful treatment of OCD is based on being able to identify the underlying logic and use interventions based on the exact same logic.

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder(OCD)

We can distinguish obsessive compulsions based on <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/basics/fear">fear</a> (such as hand washing enacted to prevent contamination) from those based on pleasure (such as <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/basics/compulsive-behaviors">compulsive shopping</a>, vomiting syndrome or pathological gambling).  Many such rituals are done in a specific sequence and others can be done to feel a certain way or to achieve a specific sensation. The logic underlying these rituals is important, because if the clinician doesn’t recognise the logic supporting the compulsion, they won’t be in a position to know what kind of intervention will be necessary to treat the problems effectively.

Rituals Based On Fear Or Pleasure

Rational and preventive rituals: These rituals are specific actions that arise from the patient’s belief that doing so can prevent a certain feared situation from happening.  Reparative rituals: The performance of these ritualised actions or thoughts hold the illusion of protection for the person from something that could have happened already. Propitiatory rituals: The performance of these rituals or thoughts (seemingly magical) appear to make something positive happen, or have the illusion of helping the patient avoid something negative.

A Strategic Description of Rituals

<ul><li>Avoidance of any anxiety provoking places, people or objects. This is essentially an attempted solution which feeds the problem.</li><li>A continual search for reassurance or help from family members, friends or partners, who can eventually become entangled in the pathological mechanisms.</li></ul>

Failed Attempts at a Solution

Family members are very often involved in these dysfunctional rituals or control. Patients who suffer from OCD can become more anxious and aggressive over time towards friends and family if they refuse to cooperate and this must be managed effectively so as to avoid worsening the situation. It is very important that others participate in the treatment to increase its effectiveness. It is important that family members step aside from this pathological and vicious circle and allow for the restoration of the patient’s responsibility for their problem.

Family and Friends

Rituals in OCD may seem irrational, but they have a unique logic of their own.

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

mentalhealth

Mental Health

scienceandnature

Science & Nature

The Logic of Compulsions and Ritualized Behaviors

Happiness is a proximate outcome. It matters, and it is nice. But it is not an ultimate evolutionary outcome.Thus, we may be thrilled to have a piece of chocolate cake on the table in front of us at a birthday party. But that momentary happiness is not an end goal in itself. We evolved to be happy when presented with rich food offerings because our ancestors, who were motivated to find rich foods, were more likely to eat and thus survive and reproduce.

Happiness Is Only a Proximate Goal

Anxiety is not pleasant, but it is a substantial feature of human psychology for a reason. And ameliorating anxiety fully, as demonstrated by Nesse’s anecdote, can actually be maladaptive and counterproductive.Negative emotions, such as anxiety and <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/depression">depression</a>, actually exist for a reason, and efforts to fully ameliorate negative emotions are evolutionarily misguided.

Negative Emotions Exist for a Reason

Just as anxiety evolved to help motivate adaptive behaviors, happiness has also evolved to help motivate adaptive behaviors.

Anxiety and Happiness Motivates Us

Why happiness is a good thing? and why do we want it so badly? Is this the ultimate goal of our evolution? to ameliorate negative emotions? I find these ideas important as it reminds me that having anxiety is normal just like being happy. They help us motivate in life to survive just like what our ancestors did. 

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

health

Health

Are We Evolved for Happiness?

Loneliness is an unpleasant experience in which one perceives a relationship deficit —the sense that the quality or the number of one’s relationships are unsatisfactory, the awareness that there is a mismatch between one’s desired and one’s achieved quality or quantity of relationships.

Loneliness, The Relationship Deficit

It has been suggested that loneliness has multiple dimensions, including social and emotional ones.People who experience social loneliness feel like they are not part of a group that shares their interests, that they do not belong.Those who experience emotional loneliness feel they lack intimacy. For instance, though many singles tend to be happy and satisfied with life, “involuntary singles” tend to be unhappy because of high emotional loneliness (i.e., they desire but lack intimate attachments).

To Desire And To Lack

Social loneliness: An unpleasant feeling resulting from the perception of not belonging, a lack of social integration, or experiencing one’s social network as deficient. Those more likely to experience social loneliness include people who have moved to a new school or job or migrated to a new country.Emotional loneliness: An unpleasant feeling resulting from the perception that one is missing an “intimate attachment relationship” or that the existing relationship is inadequate. Emotional loneliness is a very common experience in people who have recently divorced or become widowed.

Definitions And Examples

A new study, published in the July issue of Psychiatry Research, discusses the differences between these two types of loneliness, including their risk factors. The measure for both types of loneliness was De Jong Gierveld’s 11-item loneliness scale. <a href="https://mvda.info/sites/default/files/field/resources/De%20Jong%20Gierveld%20Lonliness%20Scale.pdf">https://mvda.info/sites/default/files/field/resources/De%20Jong%20Gierveld%20Lonliness%20Scale.pdf</a>

The De Jong Gierveld Loneliness Scale

Risk factors associated with both types of loneliness (equal effect sizes) included being an immigrant and having a low income. Drinking and being physically active, in contrast, were linked with lower loneliness.

Factors Common To Both Types Of Loneliness

In some cases, effect sizes were not similar. For instance, living alone, being unmarried, psychological distress, and suicidal thoughts were more strongly correlated with emotional loneliness, whereas poor health and having multiple chronic diseases were more strongly correlated with social loneliness.

Factors Special To One Type Of Loneliness

An analysis of the data showed that being female, of younger age, being a current smoker, and medium or higher educational level were linked with lower social loneliness. Having a paid job and a low body mass index were associated with lower emotional loneliness.

Factors Common To The Less Lonely

Why is it that people who exercise but also those who drink and smoke were less likely to feel lonely? Perhaps the association with smoking and drinking was due to participation in social events.Social loneliness has two dimensions: it refers to a lack of connection with others and difficulties with integration into social networks. The reviewed research found that older men and those with lower education are more likely to experience social loneliness.

Wait But Why

New research shows social loneliness and emotional loneliness have shared and unique risk factors.

New research examines the risk factors for emotional and social loneliness.

loveandrelationships

Love & Relationships

The Key Differences Between Social and Emotional Loneliness

self-care is a way to express your love and emotions for yourself. It's a simple way to make yourself feel important. self-care is simply the act of caring about yourself by doing some simple tasks that make your mood better.

What Is self-care?

Self-care is important because :- <ul><li>It keeps you positive. </li><li>You are able to understand yourself. </li><li>It makes you happy. </li><li>It helps in reducing stress and anxiety. </li><li>Self-care makes you more valuable in your own eyes. </li> </ul>

Why Is self-care Important?

In this busy world you must have some time for yourself, continuously working for months and not giving time for yourself makes you stressed and frustrated. Take out some time for yourself. It can be Saturday or Sunday because most of the people stay free during these days.  Start doing self-care with these 10 ways that will make you relax and refresh

10 ways to do self-care

Start reading your favourite comics or a book that you love to read. Reading is a part of our childhood. Our parents used to dictate the stories from the story books but the time has changed so pick up your favourite book and Start reading it from today. It will make you happy and <a href="https://inspirationalblogs45.blogspot.com/2021/08/Top-5-ways%20to-improve-your-positive-thinking%20.html">positive </a> and it will give you a vibe of your childhood too.

1. Start Reading

What can be a better option rather than spending time with your friends ? Friends are very important in our life as sharing problems with them makes a person more relaxed. So, hangout with your friends, collect some memories or ask them to come and have dinner. That's the best way of self care. You must try out once, whenever you feel stressed then talk with the person whom you loved the most and you will realise that all your <a href="https://inspirationalblogs45.blogspot.com/2021/08/18-effective-ways-to-reduce-stress-from-your-life%20.html">stress is gone </a> .

2. Hangout with your friends

Everybody loves music because it connects you with your soul, so what can be the best way rather than listening to music. Listen to your favourite songs whenever you are free and whenever you get time it's the shortest way to make yourself happy.

3. Listen to your favourite music

Walking makes you a healthy person in life and if you have enough time to spend on yourself then you can go for a walk. It can be a solo walk or you can go with your partner. This will make you more attracted towards your partner and help you in reducing stress. So why don't you go for a walk on the upcoming Sunday?

4. Go for a walk

If you are an introvert like me then this is a golden tip for you. I mostly like to stay alone because it makes me happy. So if you are introverted then you can spend some time alone witnessing the iconic sunset at the beach. This will make you happy and if you can't do that then just go for a small self talk, talk with yourself on any topic. It sounds weird but believe me that actually sharing your pain with yourself helps in controlling that pain.

5. Spend some time alone

Self-care is important because it's the need of today's generation. Don't waste your time and life for others. Look out for yourself because once time is gone it's never going to come back. It's your life and you have to live it. That's all Good day:)

Conclusion

Why is self care important? How to practice self care? What does self care mean? Get the most common questions answered in this self care guide.

Being inspired is a very tough task . But not the impossible one , introducing you the best and evergreen blog that will make you inspired everyday .we will provide you the quality of content just for free

habits

Habits

All You Need To Know About Self Care.

When people use the term hot mess, they generally don’t mean they’re running from the Mob, entangled in a deadly love triangle, or waking up after a bender missing a kidney. Instead, they mean that they feel steaming, churning emotional disarray—they’re unsure of themselves, insecure, and neurotic. Everyone can see them for the disaster they are.

Being In A Hot Mess

Most people experience self-criticism in<a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0191886903001065"> two ways</a>. First, there is comparative self-criticism, in which they contrast themselves negatively with others, whom they conclude are superior. Second, there is internalized self-criticism, in which they don’t live up to their own high personal standards and expectations and thus experience a lot of daily failure.<a href="http://citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/viewdoc/download?doi=10.1.1.386.5404&rep=rep1&type=pdf">Studies show</a> that you are the best judge of your neuroticism; those close to you are the best judges of your intellect; meanwhile, everyone can accurately judge your extraversion.

Self-Criticism: The Two Kinds

Many people abet this asymmetry by believing that if they admit to weakness, others will perceive them more negatively than they actually do. We are generally unforgiving of our own weaknesses and thus keep them hidden. At the same time, we are blasé about others’ shortcomings, and even find them attractive. Some psychologists <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2018-34832-002">call</a> this the “<a href="https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2019/01/beautiful-mess-vulnerability/579892/">beautiful mess effect</a>.” We incorrectly think that others will judge us harshly for admitting to a mistake or for asking for help, when in reality people see vulnerability as sweet, or as a mark of character.

Admitting Our Asymmetric Behaviour

Comparing ourselves with others makes all of these effects worse. Thinking about how others see us—called “metaperception”—seems like it should help us understand ourselves better. Unfortunately, the conclusions we draw while doing so tend to be inaccurate.Social media massively magnifies the problem by encouraging everyone to post only happy, self-flattering things. You see your friends hiking on a sunny day—smiling, social, and cheerful. They might have been crying their eyes out or yelling at a loved one earlier in the day, but you would never know.

The Magnifier Effect Of Social Media

Accurate self-perception and metaperception require knowledge of your biases. Left to your devices, you might find it easy to think of yourself as messy in comparison with others. But being mindful of the errors that lead you to that conclusion can help you reevaluate. Next time you feel ashamed of your inadequacies, meditate on two facts:1. You are the only person who sees inside your head.2. Others are suffering inside their head, just like you.

Two Things To Remember

Being open about your suffering in others’ service is a form of self-compassion as well. <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2003-03727-001">It allows you</a> to understand your pain nonjudgmentally and treat it as part of a normal human experience. This kind of self-compassion has <a href="https://self-compassion.org/wptest/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/JRP.pdf">been</a><a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s12671-020-01363-0"> found</a> to improve your mental health more than self-esteem approaches in which you try to change your subjective evaluation of yourself. For example, next time you are nervous about a conversation with someone, instead of trying to psych yourself into being confident, tell the other person you are nervous.

Self-Compassion

Embrace your hot messiness as a gift. It might be encouraging creativity and lead you to seek out new experiences, which can <a href="https://www.proquest.com/openview/7124e880d8ed7c86b0e0ca581ef9bcca/1?pq-origsite=gscholar&cbl=47758">raise your happiness</a>. To understand this, consider studies of people’s rooms, which<a href="http://www.psychologicalscience.org/news/releases/tidy-desk-or-messy-desk-each-has-its-benefits.html"> have shown</a> that although physical tidiness may have benefits such as encouraging us to eat right and give to charity, a little bit of clutter can encourage the generation of creative ideas. Messiness releases you from conventionality and thus inspires fresh insights.

A Radical Approach

No one’s judging you as harshly as you judge yourself.

The Perks of Being a Hot Mess

With the ‘great resignation’ making headlines over the last couple of months, the subject of quitting seems more prevalent than ever. These days, more and more people are taking it upon themselves to quit their job if it’s not meeting their needs – including if their job is having a detrimental impact on their mental health.It’s important to know when it’s time to call quits in order to put your mental health first.

Time To Leave

If your needs at work aren’t being met – perhaps you’re not receiving adequate feedback, or feel undervalued – then the obvious first step is to voice your concerns. However, if <a href="https://www.stylist.co.uk/life/how-to-diffuse-conflict-arguments/545713">you’ve voiced your concerns</a> and nothing has been done to rectify them, then moving on could be your best option.

You Have Communicated Your Needs Clearly, and Nothing Has Changed

Not only can this kind of chronic stress put you at risk of developing burnout and take its toll on your mental health, but it can also affect your physical health, too.Some signs that you’re experiencing chronic stress include:<ul><li>Lack of focus: things are foggy, and it’s harder to finish an activity</li><li>Changes in memory: you have a more challenging time remembering things that happened throughout the day</li><li>Fatigue in mind and body</li><li>Reacting more emotionally than usual</li><li>Neglecting basic needs like showering, exercising or eating a well-cooked meal</li></ul>

You’re Experiencing Chronic Stress

Perhaps the most obvious reason to quit your job for your mental health is if the very idea of going to work leaves you feeling <a href="https://www.stylist.co.uk/tag/anxiety">anxious</a>, upset or <a href="https://www.stylist.co.uk/life/careers/job-postive-mindset/536699">dejected</a>.This could be because the company’s values do not align with yours or you feel like you’re not able to make yourself heard within the workplace, especially if you’re from an underrepresented community and your workplace shies away from <a href="https://www.stylist.co.uk/life/careers/how-to-make-workplace-diverse/514467">conversations about race, diversity and inclusion</a>

You Dread Going to Work Every Day 

Not sure whether or not you should quit your job in order to protect your mental health? Here’s how to tell when it’s time to let go, according to an expert.

career

Career

How to tell when it’s time to quit your job to protect your mental health

No matter how intelligent you are or what life has thrown at you, there is no way to become more deserving of success than anyone else. If a person loses their business and feels indebted, they’re inviting more frustration and anger into their life. Mentally strong people can shift their focus away from their debt. Hence, they can help people in need. Mentally strong people keep themselves busy doing good deeds.If you follow this guidance, you can stop wasting time, stop feeling like you are owed something and stop resenting others’ success.

1. Mentally Strong People Don’t Feel the World Owes Them Anything

By far, the most harmful drug is self-pity. It is addictive, provides only temporary pleasure, and disconnects people from reality.No one is immune to hard times. However, it is how you react to these situations that is important. Mentally strong individuals do not spend precious time pitying themselves. They replace self-pity with gratitude. Amy Morin provides an example of an American long-distance runner, Marla Runyan. She ran the New York Marathon in a little over two hours. Marla also has a master’s degree in education and has written a book.

2. Mentally Strong People Don’t Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves

The most impressive aspect of all this is that she is legally blind.The key to her success lies in her refusal to indulge in self-pity. She’s always refused to identify her illness as a disability. Rather than dwelling on what her illness took away, she’s grateful for what it gave her. In addition, research suggests that developing your gratitude capacity can strengthen you on many levels. In the first place, gratitude improves your physical well-being. A 2003 study found that grateful people suffer less from aches and pains.

When you see a colleague receive a promotion, feelings of envy may come to the surface. While this may be normal, feeling jealous of others’ success eventually leads to resentment, which can distract you from your path.Instead, overcome your envy of other people’s success and learn how to use their success to your benefit.

3. Mentally Strong People Don’t Resent Other People’s Success

Let’s take the example of Milton Hershey. His employee, H.B. Reese, began building a rival candy company in the same city while still working in Hershey’s chocolate factory. Hershey, however, didn’t become angry or resentful. Instead, he gave Reese his full support and allowed Reese to use Hershey’s milk chocolate for his experiments. Throughout those experiments, Reese created a peanut buttercup surrounded by Hershey’s milk chocolate.

Instead of viewing each other’s company as competition, the two men celebrated their successes. They used one another’s power to their advantage. They supported their strengths, and in the end, they both built thriving businesses. The two men continued to collaborate throughout their lives, and after their death, the two companies finally merged. When people enjoy and celebrate success, they attract other successful people, creating opportunities for collaboration and continued success.

When you allow your boss to make you feel a certain way, you give them power over how you think, feel, or even behave. No one should have power over your feelings. You should change your daily vocabulary to recognize that the choices you make are yours.Avoid phrases like “He made me mad,” or “I have to work late today.” One of the biggest factors in taking control of your feelings is forgiveness. When you hold on to anger and resentment, you allow others to limit your ability and disrupt your life. Therefore, it’s important to forgive others for their wrongdoings and focus back on yourself.

4. Mentally Strong People Don’t Give Away Their Power

Forgiveness is also psychologically beneficial, like gratitude. For instance, when people forgive others, their blood pressure decreases, and their hearts beat more calmly. Additionally, those who practice unconditional forgiveness are likely to live longer lives.

When you feel your life is out of control, take out a piece of paper, and draw a horizontal line through the middle. In the top section, write, “What I can’t control.” In the bottom section, write, “What I can control.” When populating the top section, remember you can’t control what has happened. However, you can control what you focus on, what things mean, and how you behave. After you’ve listed the things you can and can’t control, rip off the top section.

5. Mentally Strong People Don’t Focus on Things Beyond Their Control

Many people feel haunted by their past and the legacy of their families. However, it’s possible to find constructive ways to move forward despite one’s origins.Take activist and social worker Wynona Ward. Born in a small village in Vermont, she grew up with a sexually and physically abusive father. Ward didn’t tell anyone about this abuse but worked hard to get ahead in school and escape her hometown. She got married at 17-year-old and began working as a truck driver with her husband. But while she’d worked hard to free herself, others in her family struggled to do so.

6. Mentally Strong People Don’t Dwell on the Past

E.g: Ward discovered that one of her brothers was now abusing his children.She decided to went back to university in Vermont & study every moment of her free time. After significant hard work, she managed to get a law degree. With some financial aid, she founded Have Justice Will Travel, a traveling legal service for families in the countryside dealing with domestic abuse problems. Her actions show us a vital mindset of mentally strong people. Coming to terms with the past doesn’t mean acting as if certain things never happened. You must accept and forgive the past so that you can build on it.

Pleasing everyone can negatively impact mental strength. Suppose you worry too much about pleasing others. In that case, you should learn to make choices that align with your values and act accordingly, even if that means disappointing or upsetting others. When you accept you won’t please everyone, you become stronger and build courage when you anticipate displeasing others.

7. Mentally Strong People Don’t Worry About Pleasing Everyone

Mentally strong people don’t just pick themselves up and get back on their feet. Before that, they take a moment to find out why they fell off.When you own and study your mistakes, you’re less likely to slide back into your old ways. Experience less resistance to owning and studying a mistake you’ve made by imagining it was performed by someone else. Identify the factors that led to the mistake: thoughts, behaviors, and external factors. Then, write an alternative action for the next time those thoughts, behaviors, and external factors arise.

8. Mentally Strong People Don’t Repeat The Same Mistakes

It’s not as if some people have more willpower than others. It’s just that some people are willing to adapt while others aren’t.Judge Greg Mathis is an excellent example of a mentally strong person. Arrested several times as a teenager, he promised his dying mother he would change. After being released from jail on probation, he started working at McDonald’s and eventually got accepted to Eastern Michigan University, and later, law school. However, due to his record as a criminal, he was barred from working as a lawyer.

9. Mentally Strong People Don’t Shy Away from Change

It would have been easy to let this obstacle from the past stand in his way. But Mathis was always ready for change, even when it seemed improbable. He quickly found other ways to serve the city of Detroit.After a period as the Detroit Neighborhood City Halls manager, he and his wife founded a nonprofit organization. This organization helped young people find work. A few years later, he was elected a judge by the people of Detroit.Mathis’ success is a testament to mentally strong people’s characteristics: embracing change in your life. But how can you embrace change?

The first step is to ask yourself which change you’d like to execute in your life. Think carefully about how this change would make you feel. Pay special attention to negative feelings and thoughts. Once you’ve learned to ignore these types of thoughts, you can create a plan for successful change.

It consists of five steps:<ol><li>Set yourself a 30-day goal.</li><li>Decide on concrete, daily changes in your behavior to help you reach that goal.</li><li>Create a list of anticipated hurdles along the way.</li><li>Create accountability.</li><li>Measure progress.</li></ol>Be more mindful of your feelings around change and use the five steps to prepare for change. In doing so, you’ll be on your way toward your goals.

Don’t be too afraid about what you’re going to do. Every moment of your life is an experiment. The more you experiment, the better.Many people fear taking risks. You must consider life decisions and assess risks carefully. Therefore, it’s essential to learn how to minimize risks and determine which risks are worth the benefits. Calculate risks by asking yourself: “What are the potential costs?”, “What are the potential benefits?”, “How will this affect my goals?”, “What are the alternatives?”, “What is the best thing and the worst thing that can happen?”, ...

10. Mentally Strong People Don’t Fear Taking Calculated Risks

“How much will this matter in five years?” If you write the answers to these questions, you can review and scrutinize them. Later, this will help you calculate the risks and reach a decision. Taking risks and stepping outside your comfort zone makes you stronger. Perhaps those risks aren’t as scary as you once imagined. Additionally, begin to practice taking risks and facing your fears. Open yourself up to new opportunities and start facing your fears.

Many people experience significant fear of failure. Many will avoid failure at all costs, so they fear taking risks. However, almost every success story begins with a long road of failure and perseverance. Simply put, those who succeed view their failures as stepping stones for improvement. Failure is simply a part of becoming a success and is a sign you are being challenged.

11. Mentally Strong People Don’t Give up After Their First Failure

You are likely surrounded by noise most days. Many seek to maintain those noise levels by turning on the television. They aim to fill those uncomfortable silences, but when you fill your life with noise, you miss a powerful opportunity.

12. Mentally Strong People Don’t Fear Alone Time

Research shows that spending time alone and quietly results in renewal, rejuvenation, inspiration, and reflection. Avoid drowning your thoughts with technology or sounds. Instead, build your mental strength by designating ten minutes each day to be with your emotions. During these ten minutes, you can think about your life goals and determine if you are on track to achieve them. You can also use the opportunity to think about new goals or dreams. Adopt visualization techniques to imagine the life you want. Don’t forget these thoughts by writing them all down in a journal.

You can even take your mindfulness a step further and turn to meditation to become comfortable in silence. Studies have shown that meditation positively alters the brain’s structure by regulating cognition and emotion. Even more, meditation has been proven to positively affect those who struggle with breathing difficulties, tumors, insomnia, chronic pain, and cardiovascular diseases.

A 1972 study looked at whether people succeeded in their New Year’s resolutions. They found that 25 percent of participants had abandoned their resolutions after 15 weeks. In a similar 1989 study, that number had gone down to only one week.The underlying issue is that our goals and expectations are unrealistic.

13. Mentally Strong People Don’t Expect Immediate Results

Here are a few simple rules to help you set realistic goals:<ul><li>Don’t think that change is easy. Accept from the start that reaching your goal will be tough. You’ll have a greater chance of succeeding if you simply accept it’s going to be tough.</li><li>Don’t create a fixed deadline to reach your goal. It’s healthy to have an approximate idea of when you would like to get your result, but don’t make it an all-or-nothing situation.</li><li>Finally, don’t anticipate that achieving your goal will suddenly make your life wonderful.</li></ul>

Sometimes improvements are well-hidden, and occasionally, they even look like steps backward. For example, the author once worked with parents of young children, teaching them how to manage tantrums. The standard advice was to studiously ignore the kids when they threw themselves on the ground and started howling and kicking.

Many parents initially complained. They said the tantrums were getting worse, as the children were screaming louder, making more of a fuss. But if the parents persisted in ignoring them, the tantrums inevitably improved.This example shows that it’s important to be patient, stick to your goal, and keep working at it. You must maintain these actions even when you do not appreciate any progress at a given moment.

"Kick bad mental habits and toughen yourself up."—Inc. Master your mental strength—revolutionary new strategies that work for everyone from homemakers to soldiers and teachers to CEOs. Everyone knows that regular exercise and weight training lead to physical strength. But how do we strengthen ourselves mentally for the truly tough times? And what should we do when we face these challenges? Or as psychotherapist Amy Morin asks, what should we avoid when we encounter adversity? Through her years counseling others and her own experiences navigating personal loss, Morin realized it is often the habits we cannot break that are holding us back from true success and happiness. Indulging in self-pity, agonizing over things beyond our control, obsessing over past events, resenting the achievements of others, or expecting immediate positive results holds us back. This list of things mentally strong people don't do resonated so much with readers that when it was picked up by Forbes.com it received ten million views. Now, for the first time, Morin expands upon the thirteen things from her viral post and shares her tried-and-true practices for increasing mental strength. Morin writes with searing honesty, incorporating anecdotes from her work as a college psychology instructor and psychotherapist as well as personal stories about how she bolstered her own mental strength when tragedy threatened to consume her. Increasing your mental strength can change your entire attitude. It takes practice and hard work, but with Morin's specific tips, exercises, and troubleshooting advice, it is possible to not only fortify your mental muscle but also drastically improve the quality of your life.

education

Learning & Education

books

Books

"Kick bad mental habits and toughen yourself up."—Inc.Master your mental strength—revolutionary new strategies that work for everyone from homemakers to soldiers and teachers to CEOs.Everyone knows that regular exercise and weight training lead to physical strength. But how do we strengthen ourselves mentally for the truly tough times? And what should we do when we face these challenges? Or as psychotherapist Amy Morin asks, what should we avoid when we encounter adversity? Through her years counseling others and her own experiences navigating personal loss, Morin realized it is often the habits we cannot break that are holding us back from true success and happiness. Indulging in self-pity, agonizing over things beyond our control, obsessing over past events, resenting the achievements of others, or expecting immediate positive results holds us back. This list of things mentally strong people don't do resonated so much with readers that when it was picked up by Forbes.com it received ten million views.Now, for the first time, Morin expands upon the thirteen things from her viral post and shares her tried-and-true practices for increasing mental strength. Morin writes with searing honesty, incorporating anecdotes from her work as a college psychology instructor and psychotherapist as well as personal stories about how she bolstered her own mental strength when tragedy threatened to consume her.Increasing your mental strength can change your entire attitude. It takes practice and hard work, but with Morin's specific tips, exercises, and troubleshooting advice, it is possible to not only fortify your mental muscle but also drastically improve the quality of your life.

Amy Morin is a licensed clinical social worker, instructor at Northeastern University, and psychotherapist. She is the author of the international bestseller 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do, as well as 13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do. Amy is a regular contributor to Verywell, CNBC, Forbes, Inc., and Psychology Today. She gave one of the most viewed TEDx talks of all time and was named the “self-help guru of the moment” by The Guardian. She lives in Marathon, Florida. 13 Things Mentally Strong Women Don’t Do is her third book.

Amy Morin

13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do

<a href="https://www.fastcompany.com/90696814/4-signs-youre-experiencing-burnout-according-to-a-cognitive-scientist">Many factors</a> contribute to burnout, the perpetual weariness along with a disinterest in work. Here are five bad habits that could be barreling you toward burnout and what you can do to turn your situation around.

Burnout

A common burnout reason is that you could have too many responsibilities. This could happen because you say, “Yes,” too often or volunteer for tasks—even though you don’t have the time.To remedy this situation, you’ll need to get clear on how much you can actually handle. Do this through daily and weekly planning where you decide on your priorities and place them in open times in your calendar.

Reasons For Burnout: Saying Yes in Every Circumstance

But sometimes—or in the case of burnt-out people a lot of times—you’re working a second shift in the evening.If you fall into that category, set a cut-off point for when you get off of your computer. That way you have enough time between when you stop working and when you lay down in bed for your mind to calm and unwind.

Working Right until To Bedtime

Longer periods of time off for vacation can definitely help to reduce feelings of fatigue, especially if it’s a <a href="https://www.fastcompany.com/90664370/us-workers-are-burned-out-could-company-wide-vacations-help">company-wide vacation</a>. Many workers are not even taking any days off on the weekend: They’re literally attempting to work seven days a week. Or if they don’t actually pull out their laptops, they’re at least mentally carrying the load of thinking about work all the time.Take at least one day a week where you don’t allow yourself to work at all: no meetings, no project work, no email checking, no messaging, no nothing related to your job.

No Off Days

There are some activities that you can truly only do for yourself like sleep, exercise, or making important decisions for which you’re directly responsible. But there are many tasks where you could ask others to do them or at least get some support on the overall goal.You don’t have to do everything by yourself. Asking others for support not only saves you time but also leads to a positive emotional state that can elevate you out of the cynicism associated with burnout.

Doing Everything Yourself

When you skip out on what you find really fun—whether it’s time with friends, exercising, playing with your dog, spending time with your kids, doing a craft, or simply being outside in nature—you end up taking breaks anyway but on activities that aren’t nearly as refreshing, such as scrolling on your phone.Fun isn’t the thing that you do once you get 100% done with work—which is unlikely to happen because it keeps coming. Fun is what you do that helps fuel you to have the energy to get all the work done.

No Fun!

productivity

Productivity

timemanagement

Time Management

5 habits that are barreling you towards burnout

Often when we’re caught up in a loop or overthinking, we aren’t aware of it. It seems like the right thing to do, to keep thinking about this thing that’s worrying us. But to break out of the loop, we have to notice we’re in it. Signs that will point out to you that you’re in a loop:  For many people, it’s a rising amount of anxiety or worries, an inability to sleep, and an inability to focus. For others, it might be a desire to lash out at someone or to plan or otherwise get control. The key is just to notice you’re in it.

Notice

Once you’ve noticed, the magic trick is to look beyond the thing you think needs to be solved … to the fear underneath. It’s like not looking at the hand the magician is trying to direct your attention to, but to the other hand that is hiding the coin. Don’t look at the object of your thoughts or the problem you need to solve … but the fear that’s having you want to obsess and overthink. What are you feeling right now, in your body?

Turn toward the underlying fear

Before we let go of the overthinking, we have to be with the feeling of fear that’s in our bodies. Otherwise, it’s like trying to calm a freaked-out child by ignoring them. What if instead we could be with the fear and relax with it, so it can relax? Can you feel the fear, as sensation, and stay with it? Can you breathe deeply and slowly, so you can slow your heartbeat and relax with the fear? Can you bring curiosity towards it? If it’s challenging, you might think of it as being with your heart.

Be with the fear

Ask what your fear could use right now — some compassion, some music, a nice cup of tea, journaling or a walk? Then ask what’s needed in the situation you’re overthinking — what’s the simplest thing that you could do here, what’s the simplest way you could speak from the heart? Then trust that, breathe, and move to the present moment.

Ask what’s needed

What’s something right in front of you that you could focus on?It might be the light in the room, nature, or another person. Or it might be answering an email or writing a blog post.

Turn toward something right in front of you

mindfulness

Mindfulness

How to Let Go of Obsessive Overthinking

First identify the people, tasks and contexts that traditionally try to intrude on your schedule. In a work-from-home context, that might be family, neighbors, pets or household chores, just as much as it might be work colleagues or team members.An intrusive distraction can also be your own impulses. Writers often joke that their homes are never cleaner than when a deadline approaches. For all of us, the constant siren call of social media and gaming apps lure us from more high-worth activities.Once you’ve done this, you can create strategies targeted to keep them at bay.

 Identify the intruders

Remember, your time and energy are finite resources. Every time you give yours away to someone else, those resources are no longer available to you for your own work.Instead, show your colleagues the courtesy of letting them process and resolve their own problems and obstacles. That helps you focus on your own work, but it also might make you a more valuable team player, somewhat paradoxically. That's because you have more time and energy to dive into deep work, exercise your creativity and solve bigger problems for the team or company as a whole.

Stop being overly helpful

Chunking your schedule by context is a well-known method to help you “get into a groove” with tasks sorted by context. For example, set aside one hour for processing all your email, then don’t look at your email again until the next email chunk. Or set aside two hours after lunch for reading or ideation work.Make sure your schedule and its chunks of time are visible to your team, so they know when they can and cannot intrude. Then commit yourself to staying on task during those time chunks, and respond to any messages or requests at a free time in your calendar.

Chunk your daily time into context-driven slots

Setting a schedule isn’t enough. To really help yourself adhere to it and enforce your time boundaries, get in the habit of previewing the day’s schedule the night before or first thing in the morning.You can also preview on a weekly basis to get a better sense of what lies ahead for you. Previewing your schedule psychologically reinforces the choices you’ve made as commitments, not just “stuff that has to get done some time — whenever no one else needs me.”

Get into the habit of previewing your schedule

Regularly scheduled meetings are the most effective way to keep up with every team member’s workload and process, but they also help avoid smaller disruptions during the remainder of work time.Use the regular meeting time to help each team member overcome sticking points and identify potential future stumbling blocks. Respect everyone’s time by keeping to a strict agenda and rigidly enforcing time limits for each agenda item.

Check in with your team regularly with better meetings

Commit to leaving work behind at the set time and then embrace personal activities such as family time, exercise, pursuing hobbies and creative rest. This is especially important during our new WFH reality when those work/life boundaries get all too blurred, if not erased entirely.Communicate your “on and off” hours to your team members and employees so they’ll know this is a priority for you. Bonus: It’ll likely become a bonus for them as well, and when they follow your lead, you’ll wind up with a happier, healthier, and more productive team.

Draw a firm line between work and personal life activities

Feeling burned out isn't just for founders who work absurdly long hours. It can also happen to other company leaders and managers whose attention and energy get pulled in every direction. 

Feeling Burned Out? Maybe You're Not Being Selfish Enough With Your Time

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