We develop a more realistic view of where we are in the grand scheme of things during our life. We go from “the way to make progress is to keep going when you start to feel tired!" to I am okay with how I am.

Wisdom is quiet and knows that life is complicated

Growing mature follows a pretty standard path: in short, we develop a more realistic view of where we are in the grand scheme of things. When we’re babies, everything is black and white; we’re the center of the worldOver time, we acknowledge other people, with their own perspectives:Later, our identity gets wrapped up in the group — we want nothing more than to belong because our group is the best in the world:The next step: we feel comfortable being ourselves.

The Path Of Psychological Maturity

Wisdom is growing out of the bubble that insists we have access to The One True Worldview. If we have an answer, a data point, we acknowledge that it’s just a momentary snapshot of precision, rather than an all-encompassing truth about the universe. When we can accept that all existence is temporary and all lives have innate value, we are freed of the need to feel special or accomplished. We understand that we’re just a drop in the ocean.

Growing Wisdom

A few years ago when I was a full-blown gym rat, I was horribly obnoxious. (I still am, but for other reasons.) I used to try to encourage people during classes by reminding them “the way to make…

Understand yourself and those around you.

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Personal Development

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We all want to be happier in life. Still, no one wants to undergo complex changes to make themselves more emotionally healthy. Positive changes can make your life better, but they mean breaking old…

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7 Things I Avoid To Become the Happiest test test testtesttttttt

Pathological anxiety is defined by its intensity, disproportionality, and functional impact.When it comes to anxiety, doing what feels most self-protective often just reinforces our fears.Exposing ourselves to our fears and learning how to tolerate anxiety is the key to its extinction.

Key Ideas

Like many <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/psychiatry">psychiatric</a> symptoms, <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/anxiety">anxiety</a> can be conceptualized along a spectrum that ranges from the normal to the pathological. At the normal end, anxiety represents an adaptive human response that's part of the body's warning system that alerts us to dangers. It often manifests as transient <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/fear">fear</a>, causing us to step back from threats—like snakes and heights—that could cause us serious harm or death. And it can also take the form of more persistent worry about potential or ongoing threats, ideally providing the kind of <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/motivation">motivation</a> we need to take action.

To Be Or Not To Be

When anxiety becomes pathological, it's often because of its intensity, disproportionality, and functional impact. When anxiety and fear intensify to panic and when worries blossom into disproportional mental ruminations about imagined rather than actual threats, the result is that we often freeze up or get stuck in our heads to the point of immobility. And since normal anxiety is a necessity for survival, not having any anxiety would also put us in harm's way. Pathological anxiety prevents us from taking the necessary action to figure out how to deal with the issues that lie at its root.

Pathological Anxiety

Because excessive anxiety is so visceral, including not only mental panic but physical symptoms including a "nervous stomach," chest discomfort, or trouble breathing, it's often experienced as intolerable. As a result, our natural response isn't to problem-solve, but to avoid—we tend to be more focused on "flight" than "fight" and will often try to do whatever it takes to escape the source of our fear.

Wanting to Escape the Source of Our Fears

The paradox of anxiety is that what feels most instinctual and self-protective—escaping from the source of our fears or trying to ablate intolerable anxiety with a drink or a pill—often just reinforces it by teaching us that our fears are too powerful to face. It also primes us to monitor for its return when we are able to find temporary relief, but if we're constantly scanning <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/environment">the environment</a> for threats or our bodies for evidence of fear, we're certain to find it.

The Paradox Of Anxiety

Treating pathological anxiety often requires allowing ourselves to feel anxious. That doesn't mean "white-knuckling" it or subjecting ourselves to terror; it's more about engaging with and confronting our fears "one step at a time" in a safe and therapeutic setting with someone at your side. Through that process, we can do the work we need to do to shift from being immobilized by fear or from incessant worrying to problem-solving.

The Power of Exposure

The more we try to avoid our fears, the stronger they become.

The Anxiety Paradox

<ul><li>In 2012, therapy carried something of a stigma.</li><li>The open conversations we have today around mental health weren't happening.</li><li>Now, Covid has sharpened everyone's awareness of their own mental health struggles.</li><li>Therapy can be like finding a key for a door that had been locked your whole life. </li><li>Ten million people will need support for their mental health as a direct result of the pandemic, according to the Centre for Mental Health.</li><li>Here are the nine things learned from therapy, that we can benefit from.</li></ul>

The Value Of Therapy In 2022

<ul><li>The release of talking, of being listened to, is an emotional experience.</li><li>Many sessions, particularly in these early days, can be emotionally battering, tearful, and can leave anyone feeling wrung out for days.</li></ul>

Tears Are Useful

<ul><li>A therapist is part detective, part archaeologist, scratching at the surface, finding something of potential interest and digging a little deeper.</li><li>These quieter, less emotional sessions are where the deep excavation takes place.</li><li>They work as a team, trying to piece things together, make connections.</li><li>In the real world, life starts to get a little easier.</li></ul>

Proper Change Takes Time

We survive (in the broadest sense) our childhoods by figuring out how to fit into our families, our roles, our small world; we learn about relationships from our parents. We then carry these ways of being into our adult lives where, in many cases, they are no longer useful, or relevant.

The Past Holds Clues

Once this truth is established, it leads to more interesting conversations. Understanding that you not flawed – or, more accurately, that we all are, so get over it – and that you must dictate what shape your life takes gives you the freedom to think about the choices you could make in future.With this newfound insight that your parents are not responsible for your state, only you are, comes a sense of freedom.

Don't Blame Your Parents

This phrase is bandied around so freely in self-help articles and on fridge magnets, it has almost lost its meaning.Your sense of freedom and responsibility comes from self-acceptance, and responsibility can also mean being positively responsive.

Self-Acceptance Is Real

The cliche goes that therapists nod their heads wisely and say: “And how did that make you feel?” They do say this sometimes; and in fact, when no one has ever asked you this question before, it’s extremely powerful when they do, repeatedly. This repetition starts to have an effect: it makes you see that your feelings are valid; they aren’t right or wrong – they just are.

Asking The Right Questions

Silences are often when the juiciest things come out. It takes courage to sit with it.If you fill your silence to avoid awkwardness, you’re actually avoiding something else - an intimacy, a genuine thought, an ability to feel a little exposed.

Don’t Be Afraid of Silence

<ul><li>What's happening for you right now?</li><li>This is a question we don't often ask ourselves, checking in with the present moment. </li><li>It helps us stay in the now, and gradually moves us into full awareness.</li></ul>

Random Self Check-ins

<ul><li>Therapy is a powerful means to an end, and it can arm us to have the skills to become a self-therapist.</li><li>The end of therapy does not means that the problems have ended. It means that now you have the skills to handle them yourself.</li></ul>

You Have to Know when To Stop

Therapy does not solve your problems, it makes you strong and self-sufficient to handle problems.

Therapy was like finding a key for a door that had been locked my whole life. Here are the nine things it’s taught me

What I’ve learned from 10 years of therapy - and why it’s time to stop

How to have the right attitude towards learning anything?

Learning “HOW TO LEARN

<ol><li class="ql-align-center">What are the factors that differentiate the few, who make it to the top?</li><li class="ql-align-center">Since most people never achieve that lofty goal then what is the point of trying?</li></ol>

This belief is wrong that ‘skill is an ingrained and unalterable level of ability.’ So, don't use language like<ul><li>I am a good writer</li><li>I am bad at Music</li></ul>Also, parents should not set their children up for failure by telling them<ul><li>You are so good at reading</li><li>Maths is not your thing</li></ul>This is called “Learned helplessness orientation”.

Don't have ENTITY mindset

It is true and should be believed that ‘any concept or skill can be grasped and mastered incrementally. So, prefer to say things like<ul><li>I did well because I put in time</li><li>I should have worked harder at this</li></ul>To help their children, parents can say things like<ul><li>You are getting really good at reading, keep it up</li><li>It's ok, we just need to study a little harder and you will do great on the next maths test</li></ul>Teach children the “Mastery oriented response”, so that they can associate success with effort not anything else.

Grab the INCREMENTAL theory of intelligence

“The fields of learning and performance are an exploration of greyness - of the in-between. There is a careful balance of pushing yourself relentlessly, but not so hard that you melt down. Muscles and minds needs stretch to grow, but if stretched too thin, they’ll snap”<ul><li>Josh Waitzkin </li></ul>

<ul><li>One phase of full throttle action</li><li>One phase of influx, broken down growth</li></ul>Most people refuse to invest in loss during the growth stages and as a result never upgrade their game.Sometimes you need to breakdown every thing in mind and start from ground zero to reconstruct the game and to reach to the next level. So you need to invest in loss sometimes.

Recurring cycle in the process of learning

Better the recovery process, better performance.More you practise the cycles of rest, the less you will need to take. Athletes are taught this as “interval training”.﻿

Peak Performance is related to stress and recovery process

Most of us don't know about how to learn the things, with what attitude we face the situation, which mindset is better you approach the next goal.

In his riveting new book, The Art of Learning, Waitzkin tells his remarkable story of personal achievement and shares the principles of learning and performance that have propelled him to the top—twice. Josh Waitzkin knows what it means to be at the top of his game. A public figure since winning his first National Chess Championship at the age of nine, Waitzkin was catapulted into a media whirlwind as a teenager when his father’s book Searching for Bobby Fischer was made into a major motion picture. After dominating the scholastic chess world for ten years, Waitzkin expanded his horizons, taking on the martial art Tai Chi Chuan and ultimately earning the title of World Champion. How was he able to reach the pinnacle of two disciplines that on the surface seem so different? “I’ve come to realize that what I am best at is not Tai Chi, and it is not chess,” he says. “What I am best at is the art of learning.” With a narrative that combines heart-stopping martial arts wars and tense chess face-offs with life lessons that speak to all of us, The Art of Learning takes readers through Waitzkin’s unique journey to excellence. He explains in clear detail how a well-thought-out, principled approach to learning is what separates success from failure. Waitzkin believes that achievement, even at the championship level, is a function of a lifestyle that fuels a creative, resilient growth process. Rather than focusing on climactic wins, Waitzkin reveals the inner workings of his everyday method, from systematically triggering intuitive breakthroughs, to honing techniques into states of remarkable potency, to mastering the art of performance psychology. Through his own example, Waitzkin explains how to embrace defeat and make mistakes work for you. Does your opponent make you angry? Waitzkin describes how to channel emotions into creative fuel. As he explains it, obstacles are not obstacles but challenges to overcome, to spur the growth process by turning weaknesses into strengths. He illustrates the exact routines that he has used in all of his competitions, whether mental or physical, so that you too can achieve your peak performance zone in any competitive or professional circumstance. In stories ranging from his early years taking on chess hustlers as a seven year old in New York City’s Washington Square Park, to dealing with the pressures of having a film made about his life, to International Chess Championships in India, Hungary, and Brazil, to gripping battles against powerhouse fighters in Taiwan in the Push Hands World Championships, The Art of Learning encapsulates an extraordinary competitor’s life lessons in a page-turning narrative.

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Josh Waitzkin knows what it means to be at the top of his game. A public figure since winning his first National Chess Championship at the age of nine, Waitzkin was catapulted into a media whirlwind as a teenager when his father's book "Searching for Bobby Fischer" was made into a major motion picture. After dominating the scholastic chess world for ten years, Waitzkin expanded his horizons, taking on the martial art Tai Chi Chuan and ultimately earning the title of World Champion. How was he able to reach the pinnacle of two disciplines that on the surface seem so different? "I've come to realize that what I am best at is not Tai Chi, and it is not chess," he says. "What I am best at is the art of learning."In his riveting new book, "The Art of Learning," Waitzkin tells his remarkable story of personal achievement and shares the principles of learning and performance that have propelled him to the top -- twice.With a narrative that combines heart-stopping martial arts wars and tense chess face-offs with life lessons that speak to all of us, "The Art of Learning" takes readers through Waitzkin's unique journey to excellence. He explains in clear detail how a well-thought-out, principled approach to learning is what separates success from failure. Waitzkin believes that achievement, even at the championship level, is a function of a lifestyle that fuels a creative, resilient growth process. Rather than focusing on climactic wins, Waitzkin reveals the inner workings of his everyday method, from systematically triggering intuitive breakthroughs, to honing techniques into states of remarkable potency, to mastering the art of performance psychology.Through his own example, Waitzkin explains how to embrace defeat and make mistakes work for you. Does your opponent make you angry? Waitzkin describes how to channel emotions into creative fuel. As he explains it, obstacles are not obstacles but challenges to overcome, to spur the growth process by turning weaknesses into strengths. He illustrates the exact routines that he has used in all of his competitions, whether mental or physical, so that you too can achieve your peak performance zone in any competitive or professional circumstance.In stories ranging from his early years taking on chess hustlers as a seven year old in New York City's Washington Square Park, to dealing with the pressures of having a film made about his life, to International Chess Championships in India, Hungary, and Brazil, to gripping battles against powerhouse fighters in Taiwan in the Push Hands World Championships, "The Art of Learning" encapsulates an extraordinary competitor's life lessons in a page-turning narrative.

Josh Waitzkin

The Art of Learning

Mental health is supremely important.<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Mental health affects your sleep</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Mental health affects your health</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Mental health affects your productivity</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Mental health affects your relationships</li></ul> Mental health affects your life!So read on to find out 6 tips to improve your sleep, health, productivity, relationships, and life!

6 Tips For Mental Health (and how to be an ally)

What is candor? It is the quality of being honest and open.Building candor with the vulnerable builds trust and improves relationship. It also helps you to relief stress and all your bottled up emotions!

Building Candor

What should you do when you feel stressed, anxious, and overwhelm?Try the '478' breathing technique made popular by Dr Andrew Wail.There are only 3 steps involved<ol><li>Breath in deep for 4 seconds</li><li>Hold your breath for 7 seconds</li><li>Exhale slowly over 8 seconds</li></ol>It'll feel much better soon! Give it a shot!

The ‘478’ Breathing Technique

If you listen to your body when it whispers, you won’t have to hear it scream.Be collaborative with your body and mind! If you put your nose to the grindstone for too long (i.e. work too hard for too long), you may cut your nose!Be mindful and collaborative!

Be Collaborative Instead of Forceful

No not that ants but Automatic Negative Thoughts“I am not smart enough”, “Bad things will happen”, “I don’t think I am ever going to succeed”. — these are prime examples of negative thoughts.I believe it may be difficult to completely destroy all ants (pun intended), but if you fill your life with positivity, I promise you’d find yourself in a much better place.Instead of “I can’t do it”, think “I can try”. Instead of “I can try”, think “I will do it”. Take it one step at a time, and overwhelm those ants with positivity and love!

Get Rid of Ants!!! (Automatic Negative Thoughts)

In a high-stress environment when the amygdala is active, the prefrontal cortex (responsible for rationality & critical thinking) is “switched off.” This means that in an environment where fear and anger are present, people are unable to make rational decisions!So give the '478' breathing technique a shot if you ever feel angry or scared!

Understand The Amygdala (part of brain controlling fear & anger)

There is a clear distinction between “I am anger” and “I feel anger”. In the former, you are subconsciously letting anger consume you. You’d find ways to justify any rash actions because you think you’re anger. In the latter, anger is nothing but another feeling that happens to pass by your body and soulSo try your best to understand, acknowledge, and let go of it!Try saying - "I feel angry. But that's okay and it is normal. I acknowledge it and I'm going go breath and let it go.

Understanding Your Emotions

Thats it! I am positive that this 6 tips would bring tremendous value in your life.To summarize, the 6 tips are<ol><li>Building Candor</li><li>The '478' Breathing Technique</li><li>Be Collaborative Instead of Forceful</li><li>GET Rid of Ants (Automatic Negative Thoughts)</li><li>Understand The Amygdala (part if brain controlling fear & anger)</li><li>Understanding Your Emotions</li></ol>That's it from me! Stay rocking and stay positive!

Summary

I share the 6 best mental tips to improve your sleep, health, productivity, relationships, and life!

Since COVID-19 started on 31 December 2019, many were forced into lockdown and faced isolation for a long time. Schools were closed and everyone started working from home. The effect of COVID-19 on…

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Everything I have Learnt About Mental Health | #CrystalizeMyLearning (Feb 2022)

Mindsight is the skill of being able to reflect on the connection that exists between your body and your mind – combining emotional intelligence with self-awareness and stoicism.Done right it can help you deal with trauma, uncertainty, improve your relationships with loved ones and of course, control your emotions.

Mindsight: The Definition

<ul><li>Think of yourself as a river to cultivate a balanced, harmonic self.</li><li>Practice the three pillars of mindsight: observation, objectivity and openness.</li><li>Be receptive, not reactive in your relationships.</li></ul>Out of all the possible jedi mind tricks you could learn, mindsight is by far the best one.

3 Lessons that Help You Develop Mindsight

Mindsight is a set of psychological steps we can take to comprehend and mold our inner selves, the way it would be best for our wellbeing.  Meditation is an example of practicing mindsight since it makes us aware of our thoughts and breathing.However, mindsight is much more than just a meditation you can do when you have the time to be alone and reflect. Instead, it is a tool that will help you deal with things when they get overwhelming.

Getting Aware Of Our Thoughts

Mindsight is based on three pillars:<ul><li>Observation is learning to become aware the moment when unwanted thoughts distract your focus.</li><li>Objectivity is an observation of your thoughts and feelings without any judgment.</li><li>Openness is acceptance of your thoughts and emotions as part of your being and not allowing them to stress you out.</li></ul>

The Three Pillars

Extremes are never good. Do not follow anyone’s plan to reach a goal or shape your inner being. Instead, focus on finding your own inner balance.Start by accepting all of your emotions, thoughts, and actions as part of your being.

Find Your Inner Balance

Think of yourself as a gently flowing river. You won’t clash with the people in your life and your environment, but just embrace them, make room for them, flow around them and continue on your original course.This means accepting that it’s normal for your actions, emotions and thoughts to fall into different places on a big spectrum and trying to balance emotional and rational thinking, so that neither completely takes over.

Stay calm and Balanced, Like A River

If you’re reactive, every complaint your partner makes feels like a threat. You instantly go into freeze-fight-or-flight mode, trying to pretend nothing happened and ignore the problem, run away or attack your better half – none of which are good responses and ultimately lead to a big communication problem.But if you manage to stay receptive to your partner’s feelings, you’ll always find a way to talk things through.

Be Receptive, Not Reactive

Mindsight is a repackaging of awareness and meditation, what they now call mindfulness! It is worth reading though.

From a pioneer in the field of mental health comes a groundbreaking book on the healing power of "mindsight," the potent skill that allows you to make positive changes in your brain–and in your life. Foreword by Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence • Is there a memory that torments you, or an irrational fear you can't shake? • Do you sometimes become unreasonably angry or upset and find it hard to calm down? • Do you ever wonder why you can't stop behaving the way you do, no matter how hard you try? • Are you and your child (or parent, partner, or boss) locked in a seemingly inevitable pattern of conflict? What if you could escape traps like these and live a fuller, richer, happier life? This isn't mere speculation but the result of twenty-five years of careful hands-on clinical work by Daniel J. Siegel, M.D. A Harvard-trained physician, Dr. Siegel is one of the revolutionary global innovators in the integration of brain science into the practice of psychotherapy. Using case histories from his practice, he shows how, by following the proper steps, nearly everyone can learn how to focus their attention on the internal world of the mind in a way that will literally change the wiring and architecture of their brain. Through his synthesis of a broad range of scientific research with applications to everyday life, Dr. Siegel has developed novel approaches that have helped hundreds of patients. And now he has written the first book that will help all of us understand the potential we have to create our own lives. Showing us mindsight in action, Dr. Siegel describes • a sixteen-year-old boy with bipolar disorder who uses meditation and other techniques instead of drugs to calm the emotional storms that made him suicidal • a woman paralyzed by anxiety, who uses mindsight to discover, in an unconscious memory of a childhood accident, the source of her dread • a physician–the author himself–who pays attention to his intuition, which he experiences as a "vague, uneasy feeling in my belly, a gnawing restlessness in my heart and my gut," and tracks down a patient who could have gone deaf because of an inaccurately written prescription for an ear infection • a twelve-year-old girl with OCD who learns a meditation that is "like watching myself from outside myself" and, using a form of internal dialogue, is able to stop the compulsive behaviors that have been tormenting her These and many other extraordinary stories illustrate how mindsight can help us master our emotions, heal our relationships, and reach our fullest potential.

From a pioneer in the field of mental health comes a groundbreaking book on the healing power of "mindsight," the potent skill that allows you to make positive changes in your brain–and in your life. Foreword by Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence • Is there a memory that torments you, or an irrational fear you can't shake? • Do you sometimes become unreasonably angry or upset and find it hard to calm down? • Do you ever wonder why you can't stop behaving the way you do, no matter how hard you try? • Are you and your child (or parent, partner, or boss) locked in a seemingly inevitable pattern of conflict? What if you could escape traps like these and live a fuller, richer, happier life? This isn't mere speculation but the result of twenty-five years of careful hands-on clinical work by Daniel J. Siegel, M.D. A Harvard-trained physician, Dr. Siegel is one of the revolutionary global innovators in the integration of brain science into the practice of psychotherapy. Using case histories from his practice, he shows how, by following the proper steps, nearly everyone can learn how to focus their attention on the internal world of the mind in a way that will literally change the wiring and architecture of their brain. Through his synthesis of a broad range of scientific research with applications to everyday life, Dr. Siegel has developed novel approaches that have helped hundreds of patients. And now he has written the first book that will help all of us understand the potential we have to create our own lives. Showing us mindsight in action, Dr. Siegel describes • a sixteen-year-old boy with bipolar disorder who uses meditation and other techniques instead of drugs to calm the emotional storms that made him suicidal • a woman paralyzed by anxiety, who uses mindsight to discover, in an unconscious memory of a childhood accident, the source of her dread • a physician–the author himself–who pays attention to his intuition, which he experiences as a "vague, uneasy feeling in my belly, a gnawing restlessness in my heart and my gut," and tracks down a patient who could have gone deaf because of an inaccurately written prescription for an ear infection • a twelve-year-old girl with OCD who learns a meditation that is "like watching myself from outside myself" and, using a form of internal dialogue, is able to stop the compulsive behaviors that have been tormenting her These and many other extraordinary stories illustrate how mindsight can help us master our emotions, heal our relationships, and reach our fullest potential.

Daniel J. Siegel

Mindsight

When you immediately try and get rid of your anxiety by applying coping skills to make it go away, you teach your brain to view anxiety as dangerous. So stop coping with your anxiety and learn to accept it.

Stop trying to cope with anxiety

If you always outsource your emotional struggles to others, you deprive yourself of the opportunity to be confident.A big part of emotional maturity—and the confidence that results from—comes from taking responsibility for your own feelings.

Avoid reassurance-seeking

3. Put the breaks on catastrophizingEven if you know intellectually that the worst case isn’t likely to happen, if you constantly tell yourself it is, that’s how you’ll feel.﻿It’s difficult to feel confident if you’re constantly worrying and anxious. And catastrophizing is like turbo-charged worry, which means it’s even harder for your confidence to shine through.

Put the breaks on catastrophizing

It’s hard to feel confident in yourself when you’re constantly denying yourself.Some self-denial is perfectly healthy. But if you’ve gotten into the habit of always denying your own wants and needs, it shouldn’t be a surprise that you don’t feel very confident asking for what you want, going after what you want, or even knowing what you want in the first place.

Quit hiding from what you really want

A good way to never feel confident is to always be failing. And a good way to always be failing is to always be trying to control the uncontrollable.Of course, it’s often hard to distinguish what we can control from what we can’t—especially if we really want to be able to control it…

Let go of things you can’t control

<ul><li>Low confidence leads to second-guessing, but second-guessing also leads to low confidence. </li><li>Stop second-guessing yourself in the moment and schedule time to do it deliberately. </li><li>Confidence and humility are not mutually exclusive. </li></ul>

Second-guessing yourself

When you respect yourself enough to maintain good boundaries, confidence is the natural result. Confidence rests on the foundation of self-respect. And self-respect comes from setting (and enforcing!) healthy boundaries that protect your wants, needs, and values. But enforcing your boundaries requires that you tolerate difficult emotions like anxiety rather than making decisions designed to avoid them.So if you want to feel more confident, start setting and protecting healthy boundaries, which means being willing to be with rather than avoid tough emotions.

Compromising on your boundaries

You can be critical without criticizing. When you criticize yourself in response to a mistake, you create an unrealistic view of yourself that’s almost always too negative. And, unsurprisingly, this isn’t great for your confidence.

If you’re constantly reliving past mistakes in your head, it’s going to be tough to feel confident about yourself in the present.Give yourself permission to let it go. And then work like hell to keep letting it go, each time it comes up. Forgiveness is a commitment, not a decision.

Dwelling on past mistakes

Your feelings will lead you in the wrong direction at least as often as the right one. Listen to your emotions, but don’t trust them blindly. Treat your emotions like a friend. When they give you advice, listen to it. But be prepared to reject it or ignore it if it’s not good advice.Like a friend, emotions are close to you and worthy of your respect and attention. But that doesn’t mean they’re infallible and that you just follow them blindly.

Trusting your feelings

If you want to feel more confident, start thinking about what habits you have that are interfering with your confidence, then work to remove them.<ul><li>Coping with anxiety</li><li>Reassurance-seeking</li><li>Catastrophizing</li><li>Not asking for what you really want</li><li>Trying to control things you can’t control</li><li>Second-guessing yourself</li><li>Compromising on your boundaries</li><li>Criticizing yourself after mistakes</li><li>Dwelling on past mistakes</li><li>Trusting your feelings</li></ul>Don’t try and do all of these at once. Pick one that applies to you and your life especially well and focus on making small improvements there first.

All You Need to Know

Self-confidence is a feeling of trust in your abilities, qualities, and judgment. Research suggests that confidence is important to health and psychological well-being. Learn how to be more confident and some of the benefits of increasing your trust and belief in yourself.

If you want to feel more confident, focus on eliminating habits that interfere with the confidence you've already got.

10 Habits You Should Give Up to Feel More Confident

From OCD to agoraphobia and PTSD, there are almost as many types of anxiety disorder as things to worry about. Here’s how to spot the signs and find the relevant support.Many people will be familiar with the dry mouth, intrusive thoughts, and fluttering heart and stomach that are the hallmarks of anxiety. Often a temporary, and completely natural reaction to threat, these responses can be helpful in certain situations, sharpening the mind and sending blood to where it is needed faster.

Many Types of Anxiety Disorder

But whereas stress usually resolves once a concern has passed, anxiety persists and is often disproportionate to the challenge faced. If it continues for months, and starts to interfere with everyday activities, an anxiety disorder may be diagnosed.Even before the Covid-19 pandemic, an estimated five in every 100 people in England were experiencing regular or uncontrollable worries about multiple things in their lives – a condition known as generalised anxiety disorder (GAD).

The introduction of the first UK lockdown in March 2020 saw the prevalence of generalised anxiety among the general population soar to 31% according to one recent study, as a consequence of social isolation, uncertainty about the future and the perceived threat of illness or death many people felt. This is a challenge that “cannot be undone overnight”, according to the study’s lead author Dr Gemma Taylor of the University of Bath.

A Challenge

A separate study, conducted in the summer of 2021, found that a fifth of participants continued to suffer from what the researchers called “Covid-19 Anxiety Syndrome” – a heightened state of worry, excessive symptom checking and avoidance of public spaces due to fears about contamination.A diagnosis of anxiety is usually made by a GP, based on a patient’s symptoms and how long they’ve had them. In the case of GAD, diagnostic criteria include at least six months of excessive worry about everyday issues that is disproportionate to any inherent risk and causes distress to everyday life.

Covid-19 Anxiety Syndrome

Symptoms may include restlessness or nervousness, becoming easily fatigued, poor concentration, irritability, muscle tension or sleep disturbance – and tend to be present most of the time. However, anxiety is, in fact, a general umbrella term that that can describe a number of different anxiety disorders, including some less common conditions, such as phobias and panic disorders.

A General Umbrella Term

One group of anxiety disorders is characterised by repetitive thoughts or compulsions, of which obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is probably the best known. About 1 in every 50 people suffer from OCD at some point in their lives, and unlike GAD, which is roughly twice as common in women as in men, OCD affects men and women equally.

Those affected repeatedly experience unwelcome thoughts, images, urges, worries or doubts (obsessions) that can make them feel very anxious or uncomfortable. They also tend to engage in repetitive activities (compulsions) to reduce their anxiety, such as repeatedly checking medical symptoms on the internet, or whether a door is locked.Related to OCD are disorders where people experience obsessions and compulsions related to illness; or body dysmorphic disorder, with obsessions and compulsions related to their physical appearance.

Health Anxieties

Phobias involving a person’s fear or anxiety being triggered by a particular situation or object, eg dogs, flying, clowns or injections. An estimated 10 million people in the UK have phobias. Simple phobias, such as a fear of heights or spiders, usually start during childhood, whereas complex phobias tend to start later in life. For instance, social phobia (also known as social anxiety disorder) often begins during puberty, and is associated with intense fear or worry in social situations – including before or after a social event has happened.

Phobias

Agoraphobia, meanwhile, tends to first strike in a person’s late teens to early 20s, although complex phobias may continue for many years. Agoraphobia is more than just a fear of open spaces; those affected may feel anxious about being in places or situations that could be difficult to get out of, or where they may not be able to get help if they have a panic attack – a sudden episode of intense fear that triggers severe physical responses, and sometimes for no apparent reason.

Agoraphobia

If someone regularly has panic attacks apparently out of the blue, without any obvious trigger, they may be diagnosed with panic disorder. It often coexists with agoraphobia, and in some cases, the fear of having a panic attack can itself trigger an attack. In the UK, the prevalence of panic disorder with or without agoraphobia is estimated to be 1.7%.

Panic Disorder

There are many other types of anxiety disorders, but a final one of note is post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), which stands out because it strikes after experiencing or witnessing a traumatic event or serious injury. Roughly 50% of people will experience a trauma at some point in their lives, but only a fifth of them will go on to develop PTSD. Symptoms usually begin within three months of the traumatic event, but in some cases they begin years afterwards, and may include flashbacks or nightmares which can feel like you are reliving the fear and anxiety you experienced at the time.

PTSD

Like other anxiety disorders, PTSD can severely impair a person’s ability to function in social or family life, sometimes resulting in relationship problems or job instability.The good news is that effective treatments exist for all of these anxiety disorders, so it is important to seek help.

Effective Treatments

If you think your anxiety, or that of a friend or family member, is becoming problematic, seek help by approaching a GP, who may be able to provide treatment and/or a referral to a therapist through the NHS. Private therapy is another option, although this can be expensive.Various charities and community organisations run peer support groups, where individuals share their own experiences of anxiety and coping strategies in a supportive environment, including Mind, Anxiety UK and Rethink Mental Illness.

Where to find help

From OCD to agoraphobia and PTSD, there are almost as many types of anxiety disorder as things to worry about. Here’s how to spot the signs and find the relevant support

How to recognise the symptoms of anxiety and get help

Most of us prefer to avoid feeling angry at work (and, really, in any other area of life, such as relationships, family, sports, and even social media). However, this doesn’t help us in achieving that goal. In fact, unless you are not human, you will find that there are many situations that can trigger your anger, <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/jopy.12214">including some</a> that seem absolutely justified: unfairness, <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0149763419302167">provocation</a>, the realization that people are trying to take advantage of us; not to mention incompetent drivers, <a href="https://hbr.org/2020/03/how-to-spot-an-incompetent-leader">bad bosses</a>, annoying work colleagues, and, of course, a slow internet connection.

Anger At Work: The Premise

Psychologists have studied anger for over 100 years. Like any universal behavior, it is clear that there must be at least some rational reasons, and even justifications, for anger to be so pervasive and dominant in every society, and across all walks of life. From an evolutionary perspective, anger is best understood as a neuro-cognitive adaptation <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1090513821000908">“designed to bargain for better treatment.”</a> In other words, anger is a demand for help, change, and action.

Studying Anger

Anger is both a common defense tactic, as well as a universal offense strategy. We get angry to show power, status, and to intimidate, even if this also shows we are unable to manage a situation well. In many ways, anger is an attempt to gain control when we have lost self-control.

Functions Of Anger: Showing Status or Strength to Others

Anger is cathartic, which is why repressing or suppressing it has <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2018-61519-001">been linked</a> to a wide range of psychological and physical well-being deficits. As Mark Twain famously noted, “Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”

Functions Of Anger: Venting

Anger is a signal that the status quo must be changed, and it can fuel moral outrage, which is often a force for good.And yet, there’s no question that anger is also corrosive.

Functions Of Anger: A Force For Change

Everybody can learn to manage their anger more effectively, and that there are clear benefits to doing so. Here are some tools and approaches that can with anger management:<ul><li>Cognitive behavioral therapy.</li><li>Mindfulness.</li><li>Empathy.</li><li>Rational compassion.</li><li>Reducing exposure to stressful situations.</li></ul>

Anger Management

There are many ways to self-coach and get better at managing our anger, and they will generally pay off. The point is not to eliminate it from our lives, which would not make us human, but to learn to control it and even display it in strategic ways, so as to mitigate its downside and leverage its upside. Ultimately, the best way to judge anger is by its particular effects, both on ourselves and others.

The Bottom Line

The point is not to eliminate it from our lives, which would not make us human, but to learn to control it and even display it in strategic ways.


Science explains that anger at work has a bright side. Here’s how to manage it

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