Stay commited to your decision . But stay flexible in your approach .Atleast read end paragraphs

Chapter -1 Charles Bukoski was an alcoholic, a lout , womanizer , cheapskate ,a deadstick and on his worst days a poet . He is probably the last person you would ever look for a life advice .That's why he is the perfect man to start with...

Don't Try 

Charles wanted to be a writer but for decades his work has been rejected by almost every publisher, jounral, newseditor . Deprave, disgust they said .As the piles of failure stacks upon, the burden pushed him into an alcohol fuelled depression which will follow him for rest of his lif e.A small independent newseditor took a strange intrest in him and wanted him to give a chance . Charles knew that it was hisfirst and last real shot ......Charles made out as a best publisher writing 6 fucking novels and more than 200 poems .

Backstory 

of his own . Feeling motivated 😊. But that's the problem .Because his EPtiah reads - DON'T TRYA story which embodies an American dream .A man fights for his dreams , struggles and ultimately achieve his wildest fantasy .

His Success Defied Everyones' Expectations Particularly 

Despite the fact of the numbers he sold and fame he earned , he was a loser and he knew he was a loser . His success didn't stemmed out with the will to be an outshining literary star and to defy the odds but with his comfort of being a loser He worked hard and published openly about being a loser .

Reason 

Our society is obsessively focused on forced unrealistic positive expectations .be happier, be healthier,be best better than the rest . Be envied ,more admired and crap out twelve nuggets of gold before going to your willingly wonderful job .but when you Really stop thinking about this conventional life advice , it is which fixating you on the things you lack ask yourself a question , how many times gave you seen someone sad or living a normal life on instagram or Facebook .Man fuck this metallistic world yo enjoy this fucking life .............

Problem With Society Or With You

They help me to live my life out with comfort .

#1 New York Times Bestseller Over 1 million copies sold In this generation-defining self-help guide, a superstar blogger cuts through the crap to show us how to stop trying to be "positive" all the time so that we can truly become better, happier people. For decades, we’ve been told that positive thinking is the key to a happy, rich life. "F**k positivity," Mark Manson says. "Let’s be honest, shit is f**ked and we have to live with it." In his wildly popular Internet blog, Manson doesn’t sugarcoat or equivocate. He tells it like it is—a dose of raw, refreshing, honest truth that is sorely lacking today. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is his antidote to the coddling, let’s-all-feel-good mindset that has infected American society and spoiled a generation, rewarding them with gold medals just for showing up. Manson makes the argument, backed both by academic research and well-timed poop jokes, that improving our lives hinges not on our ability to turn lemons into lemonade, but on learning to stomach lemons better. Human beings are flawed and limited—"not everybody can be extraordinary, there are winners and losers in society, and some of it is not fair or your fault." Manson advises us to get to know our limitations and accept them. Once we embrace our fears, faults, and uncertainties, once we stop running and avoiding and start confronting painful truths, we can begin to find the courage, perseverance, honesty, responsibility, curiosity, and forgiveness we seek. There are only so many things we can give a f**k about so we need to figure out which ones really matter, Manson makes clear. While money is nice, caring about what you do with your life is better, because true wealth is about experience. A much-needed grab-you-by-the-shoulders-and-look-you-in-the-eye moment of real-talk, filled with entertaining stories and profane, ruthless humor, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is a refreshing slap for a generation to help them lead contented, grounded lives.

mentalhealth

Mental Health

problemsolving

Problem Solving

books

Books

leadershipandmanagement

Leadership & Management

#1 New York Times BestsellerOver 10 million copies soldIn this generation-defining self-help guide, a superstar blogger cuts through the crap to show us how to stop trying to be "positive" all the time so that we can truly become better, happier people.For decades, we’ve been told that positive thinking is the key to a happy, rich life. "F**k positivity," Mark Manson says. "Let’s be honest, shit is f**ked and we have to live with it." In his wildly popular Internet blog, Manson doesn’t sugarcoat or equivocate. He tells it like it is—a dose of raw, refreshing, honest truth that is sorely lacking today. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is his antidote to the coddling, let’s-all-feel-good mindset that has infected American society and spoiled a generation, rewarding them with gold medals just for showing up.Manson makes the argument, backed both by academic research and well-timed poop jokes, that improving our lives hinges not on our ability to turn lemons into lemonade, but on learning to stomach lemons better. Human beings are flawed and limited—"not everybody can be extraordinary, there are winners and losers in society, and some of it is not fair or your fault." Manson advises us to get to know our limitations and accept them. Once we embrace our fears, faults, and uncertainties, once we stop running and avoiding and start confronting painful truths, we can begin to find the courage, perseverance, honesty, responsibility, curiosity, and forgiveness we seek.There are only so many things we can give a f**k about so we need to figure out which ones really matter, Manson makes clear. While money is nice, caring about what you do with your life is better, because true wealth is about experience. A much-needed grab-you-by-the-shoulders-and-look-you-in-the-eye moment of real-talk, filled with entertaining stories and profane, ruthless humor, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is a refreshing slap for a generation to help them lead contented, grounded lives.

Mark Manson (born 1984) is a professional blogger, entrepreneur, and former dating coach. Since 2007, he's been helping people with their emotional and relationship problems. He has worked with thousands of people from over 30 different countries. He regularly writes and updates his blog at: www.markmanson.net

Mark Manson

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

Researchers acknowledge the consequences of negative emotions and the benefits of positive emotions on our physical and mental wellbeing. Studies in positive psychology prove that people who react in a positive manner in the workplace have stronger relationships, greater psychological safety, and enhanced learning, creativity and motivation. 
Ultimately, employee and organizational performance improves when positive emotions (i.e., optimism, gratitude) are more prevalent.

Being Positive

Positivity was never meant to exclude the experience of negative emotions. Toxic positivity is defined as the denial, suppression or _ignoring _of negative emotions. 
It’s happiness at all costs and the belief that our interactions with family, friends, and coworkers must exclude anything that doesn’t feel positive.

Toxic Positivity

It’s difficult to divulge how we are feeling in an honest way, especially when we feel pressured to confess an unpleasant emotion to our coworkers. Maybe we view this reaction as a sign of weaknesses or vulnerability, or maybe we are in denial about our true feelings. So, we put on a happy face and turn it towards the world, all while churning inside with anger, fear, shame, sadness or disgust.

Emotional Complexity

When we suppress negative emotions, we fail to give ourselves or others a chance to grapple with them. The more we can improve expressing and receiving emotional responses, the more we can authentically share our positive and negative feelings in a healthy way. Managing emotions comes from building emotional intelligence (EI). It’s a skill that is honed over a lifetime. One <a href="https://www.scn.ucla.edu/pdf/AL(2007).pdf">study</a> found that the mere act of labeling our feelings (a common EI technique) helps us release them.

The Role Of Emotional Intelligence

The perspective we take is that some emotions are good, and others are bad. We convince ourselves that that if we can avoid the bad feelings and force the good feelings, everything will just fall into place. Actually, emotions are neutral. We label some of our emotions negative because they are hard for us to process, they feel unpleasant, and they require a great deal of our energy.

The Value Of Negative Emotions

Cultivating a growth mindset starts with believing that we can change and grow over time to be better. Use this strategy to acknowledge that, in this moment, you are sad, angry, or fearful, but that you will work through it and come out better for it.
It is an internal dialogue that says, “I have dealt with hard things before, and I will again.” The difference between this mindset and toxic positivity is that you do not deny the negative, you just embrace a paradigm that allows you to feel the emotion and move through it.

Cultivating A Growth Mindset

If we want to allow for a better expression of emotion, we need to move beyond basic questions such as, “How are you?”, “Are you ok?” or “What’s wrong?” While these are common phrases, they don’t allow people to express what they are truly feeling. Consider the following alternatives:<ul><li>It seems you are (angry), what happened that led you to feel that way?</li><li>Tell me more about what is going on for you right now?</li><li>This project will bring up a lot of unknowns. Let’s talk about everyone’s fears if we move forward.</li></ul>

Ask Thoughtful Questions

The real emotion (fear, anger, sadness, contempt) is often the very one we want to avoid. They often feel painful, and we lack the skills to proactively manage them. Holding space allows us to process and express our feelings when we are ready. When we leave room to recognize our feelings, we might ask a question, share a compassionate perspective or just be in silence. Getting more comfortable with negative emotions ensures that you are not countering every difficult feeling with a positive response.

Recognizing The Real, Natural Emotions

One of our previous consultants used to remind us: “You can’t tell your story while you are in it.” We often try and understand our situation too soon. Sometimes, we just need to be in the moment. Be okay with feeling sad. Be aware of our fears or recognize our anger. The lessons unfold over time.

Jumping To Conclusions

“Should” is a trigger word. When we say that we “should” or “shouldn’t” be feeling something, it is a clue that we are not ready to move forward from our emotional state. Stay with what is. Avoid shaming someone (or yourself) for feeling a certain way or brushing things off when they really are a big deal to youWhile “don’t worry and be happy” is great advice, don’t allow it to come at the expense of your true feelings. Emotions are your greatest teacher.

Look For Small Clues And Triggers

Here’s a leadership lesson you don’t often hear: “While ‘don’t worry and be happy’ is great advice, don’t allow it to come at the expense of your true feelings. Emotions are your greatest teacher.”


Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

corporateculture

Corporate Culture

How to handle negativity without being annoyingly positive

Self-improvement can be your focus. With the alone time that you have you can use that time to develop yourself. You can learn how to build relationships without feeling <a href="http://canwilldone.com/compliment-feel-weird/">awkward </a>doing so. You can improve your interpersonal skills. You can build coping skills for those situations that you otherwise cast aside. The possibilities are endless. Combine self-reflection to help with your self-improvement.

Use Being A Loner To Your Advantage

Loner seems so lonely, but a loner can use that to there advantage. In this post we discuss the disadvantages and advantages to being a loner.

health

Health

communication

Communication

loveandrelationships

Love & Relationships

Advantage of being a Loner

<ul><li>Lack interest in things you used to love</li><li>Change your friends a lot</li><li>Stop taking care of yourself</li><li>Spend more time alone than you used to</li><li>Eat more or less than normal</li><li>Sleep at odd hours</li><li>Have problems at work or with family</li><li>Switch quickly from feeling good and bad</li><li>Crave or strongly desire to use the substance</li></ul>

Signs of a Substance Abuse Problem

It’s not just about illegal drugs. Using pain meds, alcohol, and other legal substances the wrong way can also harm your health.   

Substance Abuse: Know the Signs

People pay a lot of attention to physical cuts and injuries. But what about emotional ones? Though they don’t often get the care they deserve, they can be just as detrimental to you. motional harm, pain, and injury can lead to various mental health problems.It’s not always easy to reduce or prevent emotional harm, but it can be done. You can do this by articulating worries, filling time well, practicing mindfulness, listening to feedback, being socially connected, and fueling your body. These habits, while simple on the surface, will work wonders for your emotional wellbeing!

Emotional Wellbeing Comes First.

It is always wise to solve emotional crisis, rather than overlook it.

These six smart emotional and mental habits can helpyou prevent or reduce the likelihood of experiencing emotional harm.

6 Habits That Help Prevent or Reduce Emotional Harm

Mental strength is the ability to control your mind instead of being controlled by it. Becoming mentally strong doesn’t mean you are able to completely control everything that goes on in your head.Mental strength means understanding which parts of your mind you can control and being able to do it well when it matters. You may not be able to control whether a random worry pops into your mind. But you can control whether you keep worrying about it.There are usually 3 factors that sabotage our emotional strenth: 1. Emotional dishonesty2. Destructive mental time travel3. Unhealthy impulses

Like any kind of training, building mental strength requires a commitment to good habits and practices over time. However, some of these practices can be daunting especially if you have to think of how big of a change in character and lifestyle you have to make in order to be mentally strong. You would have already given up before you've even started. Just like your with your least favorite vegetable or a bitter medicine, how about about taking them in small doses at a time?Here are 3 small changes you can make that can make a difference

How to deal with the 3 Factors that Sabotage our Mental Strength

This habit is so simple that it’s incredibly easy to miss.There'a a chance that you're not quite as honest about your emotions—especially the really difficult ones—as you’d like to believe.ou had a big argument with your spouse last night. This morning, your coworker asks you how you’re doing. You instantly do the textbook 'Im good' of emotional dishonesty because it’s not appropriate to talk about personal issues at work. While its inappropriate to go into detail, that doesn’t mean you can't be honest with how you feel at all. A simple, "I’m doing okay but I had kind of a stressful night."

1.Emotional Dishonesty: Not Being honest about how you feelings

First of all, Do you really know how you feel? Sure you know that you feel upset. But what emotions specifically are you feeling?<ul><li>Are you feeling angry? If so, what type of anger—frustrated, mad, irritated?</li><li>Or maybe you’re feeling hurt… But what type of hurt? Do you feel sad or disappointed? Regretful or ashamed?</li><li>Or maybe—and much more likely—you’re feeling some combination of emotions… Mostly disappointed, but also a bit mad and anxious as well.</li></ul>

Know how you really feel

Even though you may intellectually know you're not ok,if you're in the habit of avoiding talking about how you feel, you’re training your brain to think that painful feelings are things to be avoided and feared and that is a set-up for emotional fragility and pain.By taking even 3 seconds to acknowledge your emotions honestly to yourself and to others, rather than avoiding them, you're teaching your brain that, however painful, difficult emotions aren’t dangerous.

And teach your brain that difficult emotions aren't dangerous

The majority of emotional suffering is a direct result of too much mental time travel.Mental time travel is the amazing ability we have to think about the future with our imagination or relive events from the past out of memory. While this can serve as a warning and help us plan and prepare for the future, this can also hurt us if used inappropriately.

2. Destructive Mental Time Travel: Resisting the unnecessary

Anxiety. The vast majority of anxiety comes from unhelpful thinking about the future. Know when to use your mental time travel ability.Shame. Many instances of depression and low self-esteem are driven by powerful mental habits of self-criticism and self-judgment. Though these painful mental habits can help you become a better person and improve your relationship with others, they can be horribly destructive if allowed to run wild.Aggression and resentment. Ruminating on other people’s mistakes and shortcomings can quickly lead to excessive levels of anger, resentment, aggression, and conflict

Hurt us how?

Cultivate the ability to hold your attention in the present moment. Use your ability to mentally time travel mindfully, not mindlesslyWhen faced with a challenging situation, keep your attention on that current situation, don't replay any upsetting past event to add to what you're already dealing with. Focus on what you currently have to do, or better, focus on the upside.When going for a run, instead of replaying a fight you had w/ your spouse last night or worrying about your exam tomorrow, focus on how it feels to run and be outdoors,how the wind feels on your face or the music on your ipod

The Antidote to destructive mental time travel:

All too often, our best intentions get sabotaged by our own minds: impulsive reactions, cravings, fears, and the like.Resist these unhealthy impulses and cravings by shifting your focus onto your values: why you want to resist that impulse in the first place?If you’re feeling the impulse to eat a second serving of dessert, don't just repeat 'don’t eat the dessert', over and over. Instead think about why you want to resist that craving in the first place. Maybe you value loosing weight and improving your health, or looking good at the beach this summer

3. Unhealthy impulses:  Outcompete them with your values

Then, once you’ve figured out at least one good value behind your desire to resist your craving, clarify and justify it: what are its benefits and advantages? What are the benefits of losing weight and getting healthy? What will you be able to do when you're healthier? How will it make you feel: will it give you more confidence, will it make your home life happier?

Clarify and Justify your Values

Mental illness can creep up when you least expect it. It pays to be mentally strong & prepared at all times

The best way to achieve mental strength and emotional resilience is to focus on building habits that will lead to them over time.

habits

Habits

How to Bolster Your Mental Health

For many, body satisfaction and self-esteem can feel almost elusive. In a world so full of comparisons and virtually unattainable standards, It’s hard to feel truly happy with yourself when you see a lot of idealized standards that you know are difficult or impossible to achieve.That’s why it’s such good news to find out that self-esteem can improve naturally as you grow older! This means that things get better, and you have a good chance of increasing your happiness simply through perseverance. Keep in mind that you need to want these changes and work towards them for the best results!

Age Helps Improving Perception Of Self.

For many, body satisfaction and self-esteem can feel almost elusive. In a world so full of comparisons and virtually unattainable standards, you may start to despair. It’s hard to feel truly happy with yourself when you see a lot of idealized standards that you know are difficult or impossible to achieve.That’s why it’s such good news to find out that self-esteem can improve naturally as you grow older! This means that things get better, and you have a good chance of increasing your happiness simply through perseverance. Keep in mind that you need to want these changes and work towards them for the best results!

Being enlightened is a matter of right understanding and knowledge about reality.

Body satisfaction and self-esteem increases as we age, says one study. Learn why you grow in confidence with the wisdom or age.

Body Satisfaction and Self-Esteem Improve With Age, According to Study

<a href="https://developingchild.harvard.edu/science/key-concepts/resilience/">According to </a>Harvard’s Center for the Developing Child, “The single most common factor for children who develop resilience is at least one stable and committed relationship with a supportive parent, caregiver, or other adult.”We are all works in progress. We all have inherent dignity. We grow with experience, facing life’s ups and downs with as much grace as we can muster. When we remember who we are and who we are called to be—when we consult an internal compass that is pointing us toward a larger vision—we can navigate challenges, live with integrity, and find the resilience to get back up

Building It Right To Face Challenges

There’s a lot of talk about how living in challenging times can help students develop resilience. But sometimes adults forget that it’s not just facing adversity that builds resilience—it’s facing adversity with support . <a href="https://developingchild.harvard.edu/science/key-concepts/resilience/">According to </a>Harvard’s Center for the Developing Child, “The single most common factor for children who develop resilience is at least one stable and committed relationship with a supportive parent, caregiver, or other adult.”There’s no magic formula. Students will have moments of success and moments that feel like failures. That’s why taking time to reflect, recalibrate, and <warningtag>respond is critical to developing practical wisdom.</warningtag><warningtag>We are all works in progress. We all have inherent dignity. We grow with experience, facing life’s ups and downs with as much grace as we can muster. When we remember who we are and who we are called to be—when we consult an internal compass that is pointing us toward a larger vision—we can navigate challenges, live with integrity, and find the resilience to get back up and take one more step forward.</warningtag>

There is no particular way to learning and building up worth.

When students are facing challenges, educators can help them reflect on—and act on—what matters to them.

How to Help Students Be the Best Version of Themselves

With the holidays in mind, I am sure that many of you must be very excited. But why exactly do we get so excited?Dopamine is a chemical messenger made in the brain which is released when expecting a reward. In other words, whenever experiencing an activity that is pleasurable, dopamine is released. When dopamine is released, you end up feeling more happy than you did in the moments prior. While you're opening your Christmas presents, the dopamine levels in your body increase in anticipation of getting the present inside. With that being said, enjoy the rest of your holidays!

How does Dopamine Work?

Dopamine is strongly associated with pleasure and reward. It's also involved in motor function, mood, and even our decision making. Learn about symptoms of too much or too little dopamine and how it interacts with drugs and hormones.

scienceandnature

Science & Nature

We feel stress when something we care about—something we value—is threatenedWe might feel stress over money because we value money. We might feel stress over a big presentation to our CEO because we care about what the CEO thinks of us (we care about our career)Knowing this, highly successful people realize they are feeling stress and pause to ask: what is my body telling me? What is it that I care about, that I think is threatened? When you have that answer, it’s easier to thank yourself for the warning sign and focus on taking action within our scope of control

Stress as a Spotlight on our Values

Successful people control their breathing, to control their physiology<ol><li>INHALE through your nose, counting to four very slowly. Let the air fill your lungs completely.</li><li>HOLD your breath to another count of four.</li><li>EXHALE through your mouth, to a count of four.</li><li>HOLD your breath again for the same count of four.</li><li>Repeat from step 1.</li></ol>

Control your physiology

Highly successful people reframe negative experiences into growth experiences (but, first calm yourself with BOX BREATHING)Focus on reflecting on what went wrong or is going wrongArticulate on what can be done to solve the problem or what can I learn from the experience<a href="https://biglifejournal.com/blogs/blog/fixed-mindset-vs-growth-mindset-examples">Fixed vs Growth Mindset</a>

Reframe With a Growth Mindset 

<ul><li>Find time to exercise</li><li>Get sufficient sleep (doesn't need to be 8 hours)</li><li>Take time to meditate regularly to improve our ability to be in the MOMENT especially during stressful situations</li></ul>

Take care of Body and Mind on a regular basis

Keeping calm under stressful environments

meditation

Meditation

7 Ways Successful People Stay Calm At Work

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