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Conversational Intelligence

Conversational Intelligence

by Judith E. Glaser

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JUDITH GLASER

“To get to the next level of greatness depends on the quality of our culture, which depends on the quality of our relationships, which depends on the quality of our conversations. Everything happens through conversations!”

The Assumptions We Make About Other People

Trust is a key factor in helping people connect with each other through conversation. We often make snap decisions and assessments about the person we are talking with and this involves identifying whether we think we can trust them.

This can happen within 0.07 ...

  • Transactional: people are exchanging information, updates, and facts that help us confirm if we are on the same page. There is not a lot of trust and people are focused on what they need to get from each other to confirm and validate their own perspectives.
  • P...

JUDITH GLASER

"Conversations are ‘rituals’ we embed into our culture and our relationships, and which give us a way to successfully structure our engagements with others… each ritual has a place and each enhances or impedes communication and engagement… Conversational rituals are what we do when we talk."

Effective And Ineffective Conversations

  • Our conversations can be structured in ways that support the development of shared trust and enable success. These conversations are the ones in which individuals respect and care about the other person’s perspective; they lead to co-creating conversations where both people ...

They happen when we are seeing the situation from our own individual perspective rather than seeking to understand the other person’s point of view.

For example:

  • Assuming others see, feel and think about the situation exactly as we do; this prevents us from ...

JUDITH GLASER

"Change brings with it uncertainty, and uncertainty triggers fear. As leaders learn to reduce fear and increase trust within their organizations, they lay the foundation for higher-level conversations, where opportunities for greater innovation, collaboration, and succ...

Trust and Distrust in Conversations

When you trust people, you’re more likely to listen to them. When you don’t trust someone, your brain shuts down and it’s harder for you to pay attention.

The amygdala (the emotional center of the brain) is activated when someone doesn’t have faith in another person; t...

According to scientists, a person’s brain shuts down rational thinking when they’re faced with a perceived threat. This is called an “amygdala hijack.” When this happens, you should be aware that your brain has shut off rational thinking and try some alternative reactions.

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