No one's life is going to be perfect, and we cannot be happy 100% of the time. But there are things we can do to make our lives, and others', better, and those things are not necessarily all that complicated. "What are some unwritten life rules everyone must know?"

Unwritten Rules About Life Everyone Should Know 

"If you don't understand something someone is telling you, say so instead of pulling an 'opinion' on the topic out of your a**. There is no shame in not knowing or understanding something." "Refusing to admit you don't know and by extension refusing to learn something new because your ego is hurt is gravely misguided, however."

Stay Humble

"In the song 'Grand Illusion' by Styx, there is a line: ' Don’t be fooled by the radio, tv, or the magazine. Shows you photographs of how your life should be, compared to someone else’s fantasy.'" "So, I guess, the idea that you might not feel like you're living your best life when you compare it with what you're told is supposed to be your best life." " Also along this line, 'Don’t compare your day-to-day life to someone else’s highlights.' Like, don’t compare your life to what bits you see of someone on social media."

Stop Comparing

"If a toddler hands you a toy phone, you answer it."

A Golden Rule for Kids

"Just because someone is family, doesn't mean they're a good person." "It's so wild how people call you a bad person for avoiding your family despite knowing nothing about their family." "Like, 'It doesn't matter what they did, you were in the wrong because they're family,' makes zero sense to me, but other people look at me like I'm the lost one.

"Family" Isn't a Reason

"Not everybody is your friend, so be careful who you vent to. Many people only want juicy gossip and don’t give a s**t about you or your problems." "A good sign of this is when your friend brings you dirt or juicy stuff about someone else that likely was said in confidence or probably shouldn't have been communicated out." " If they do that, your info is equally being dished out." "Putting folks on informational diets is the way to go until you gain a supreme level of mutual trust."

Avoid Gossip

"Under promise and over deliver. People will think you are a genius."

Exceed Expectations

"Don’t ask for somebody else’s opinion and get mad when they tell it to you."

Don't Ask the Question You Don't Want the Answer To

"It never hurts to compliment somebody on the quality of their work, their hobbies, and whatever field are most important to their self-esteem. It always goes a long way."

Compliments Make a Difference

"Your best friend may not consider you to be their best friend."

Friendship Reality Check

"Never let anyone take or disturb your peace. Learn to walk away from toxic people!"

Be Able to Walk Away

"Your feelings are valid, but your reactions may not be." "If you ever find yourself feeling very angry at somebody, and want to give them a piece of your mind either over text, email, or phone, listen to this advice. It’s some of the best I have ever learned." "Write down what you would want to say first, either in a word document or email or whatever, save it, but DO NOT send it. Then, wait at least 12 hours or overnight and revisit what you wrote."

No Sudden Reactions

"After having a cool-off period and some time to gain some clarity, 90% of the time you would have regretted having sent the original message and are usually in a much better place to respond so as to not burn any bridges that you meant to keep." "I’ve always heard of this as having 'restraint of pen and tongue' and is one of the clearest signs of maturity."

"Before you enter and elevator, LET OTHER PEOPLE OUT FIRST, GODD**NIT!"

Elevator Etiquette

"If someone does something unintentionally embarrassing or awkward, you pretend it didn't happen, and if they look at you, you just smile and look away."

Don't Make It Worse

" Admit when you've done something wrong." " Trust your gut." " Nobody thinks as much about you as yourself." " Be kind. Don't be an a**hole."

A Few Golden Tips

" If you need help and it is available, ask for it, take it." "Just because you apologize doesn't mean the other party has to forgive and forget."

"Life actually sucks a lot of the time. If you expect to be happy all the time, you will be sorely disappointed and lost. Instead, work up resilience to the hard times and take your time to enjoy the good times." "It can take so long to learn this, because no one really talks about it, and for some weird reason the only accepted default state is 'happy.'"

The Best of Times and the Worst of Times

" Another factor is how that's basically what you are until 15 years old. Until your basic reptile adult 'survival responsibility' kicks in, we're oblivious and happy most of the time. Then suddenly, the baseline changes, and almost no one is prepared for it, and the only reasonable conclusion is that you're mentally ill and depressed." "That's why I take every opportunity I get to talk about how much life sucks so that people can enjoy it more with less fantastical expectations, lol (laughing out loud)."

There are so many good pieces of advice here, but perhaps the most wonderful thing is that it doesn't take a lot to make someone's day a little better, including your own.

People shared the unwritten rules about life that they felt everyone should know in order to have a better life.

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Unwritten Rules About Life Everyone Should Know

Definition: A twin flame is an intense soul connection with someone thought to be a person's other half, sometimes called a "mirror soul." It's based on the idea that sometimes one soul gets split into two bodies.One of the main characteristics of a twin flame relationship is that it will be both challenging and healing.But they also help you overcome them, and vice versa—your twin flame will be equally affected by you.

What is a Twin Flame? 

Importantly, each person is still "whole" on their own, says licensed psychotherapist <a href="https://openingthedoorspsychotherapy.com/">Babita Spinelli</a>. "There is a misnomer that a twin flame completes you," she explains. "In reality, relationships are meant to encourage you to be more complete in your own right."

Each Person Is Still Whole On Their Own

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">When you first encounter your twin flame, there will be an intense <a href="https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/signs-of-attraction">sense of attraction</a>, recognition, and longing. </li><li class="ql-align-justify">Meeting a twin flame often feels like home. </li><li class="ql-align-justify">They feel familiar - an undeniably intense bond as though you have known them before.</li></ul>

1.  When Twin Flames met, there was instant recognition

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">You and your twin flame may find that you have a lot in common as far as values, past experiences, and interests. </li><li class="ql-align-justify">Both of you may find that your past story has a lot of coincidences and similar experiences.</li></ul>

2.  You're very similar

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">In those areas that you aren't similar, you'll find your differences complement each other, almost like yin and yang. </li><li class="ql-align-justify">Their shadow, for example, will be complemented by your light, and vice versa. </li><li class="ql-align-justify">And because a twin flame mirrors you, you're likely very aware of how your relationship highlights your shadows, and theirs.</li></ul>

3.  You complement each other

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">"The purpose of your twin flame is to support and help you with your divine mission and purpose," notes spiritual author <a href="https://www.mindbodygreen.com/wc/shannon-kaiser">Shannon Kaiser</a>. </li><li class="ql-align-justify">"So, often this type of relationship will reflect your problems and deepest insecurities so you can work through them to heal and grow."</li></ul>

4.  Your insecurities and doubts are amplified

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">From the moment you met and still to this day, you feel drawn to them physically when they're near you. </li><li class="ql-align-justify">When you're apart, you magnetically feel each other's presence too. </li><li class="ql-align-justify">It's as though their energy is always with you, always wanting to be closer.</li></ul>

5.  They feel magnetic

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify"><a href="https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/all-your-questions-about-twin-flame-relationships-answered">Twin flame relationships</a> aren't all smooth sailing, and actually, they're usually not. </li><li class="ql-align-justify">Being with a twin flame is like constantly being confronted by yourself, namely the parts of yourself you may not like. </li><li class="ql-align-justify">It can be incredibly challenging, but it's facilitating major growth for both of you.</li></ul>

6.  The relationship is tumultuous

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">There's a definite emotional charge between twin flames, and they often develop quickly because you already feel so familiar. </li><li class="ql-align-justify">Because you are so connected at a soul level, you feel things deeper together, which often makes for more intensity and passion.</li></ul>

7.  The relationship is very intense

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">"The chase" is most definitely a part of the twin flame relationship. At some point, one of you may walk away, out of fear, anger - you name it. But you'll often come back.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">If you're in an 'on and off'-again-type relationship, it could be with your twin flame. </li><li class="ql-align-justify">You'll find that things just keep bringing you together in random ways. Could be months, years, even decades; you just always find your way back to one another.</li></ul>

8.  You keep coming back together

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">When you find your twin flame, there's a certain larger-than-life quality that likely feels divine or predestined.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">There is a feeling that you have been brought together by a higher power and that creates a very strong bond between the two of you. (These can also sometimes be <a href="https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/karmic-relationship-definition-and-signs">karmic relationships </a>)</li></ul>

9.  Your connection feels divine

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">You and your twin flame can likely communicate with just a glance, and you always know what the other is thinking. </li><li class="ql-align-justify">You may even feel each other's emotions or symptoms.</li></ul>

10.  You have an almost psychic connection

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Because twin flames act as mirrors, they challenge us to do better, and oftentimes, your purposes are aligned in a way that pushes both of you to new heights. </li><li class="ql-align-justify">It's a very expansive relationship that promotes a lot of growth.</li></ul>

11.  They push you to be and do better

The <a href="https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/stages-of-a-relationship">stages of a relationship</a> are different when it's your twin flame. Twin flame stages may be unique depending on the people involved, but there are eight common ones listed below.

The 8 stages of a twin flame relationship:

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Before the two of you meet, you will have an awareness that <a href="https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/a-5-step-guide-to-manifesting-your-dreams">your other half is out there</a> for you. </li><li class="ql-align-justify">There is deep longing in this phase, and there will be inner work during this phase to prepare you for meeting your twin flame.</li></ul>

Stage 1: Yearning

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Once you meet, your world will be rocked. Prepare to fall fast. </li><li class="ql-align-justify">When you meet, it is insane instant attraction. You often can't keep your hands off one another and think about and want to spend a ton of time with each other constantly.</li></ul>

Stage 2: Meeting

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Yes, twin flames can have a <a href="https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/honeymoon-phase-and-how-to-make-it-last">honeymoon phase</a>, too! In this phase, your relationship is new, meaningful, and positive. </li><li class="ql-align-justify">How long it lasts depends on the couple, before challenges arise.</li></ul>

Stage 3: The honeymoon phase

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Sooner or later, core wounds emerge, and differences arise in the relationship. </li><li class="ql-align-justify">Often, these challenges are a reflection of the soul work the two of you need to do on your own. </li><li class="ql-align-justify">It's often not about improving the relationship but rather improving yourself.</li></ul>

Stage 4: Challenges emerge

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Your love will be put to a test, as you start to dive deep into your shadow sides. </li><li class="ql-align-justify">All your insecurities will rear up as you start to question yourself and each other.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">In this phase, one partner may avoid the other or even abandon the relationship, while the other feels emotionally insecure. </li><li class="ql-align-justify">This is where <a href="https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/attachment-issues">attachment issues</a>may arise.</li></ul>

Stage 5: The test

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">The chase, also called <a href="https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/twin-flame-separation">twin flame separation</a>, is a big part of many twin flame relationships; someone will always walk away. </li><li class="ql-align-justify">Twin flame relationships have a ton of push-pull. Part of the chase is the reward for each person. But there will be a time when one partner will pull away, and this causes separation.</li></ul>

Stage 6: The chase

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">The chase can go on for years, but should the two of you work through all your triggers, insecurities, and challenges, eventually you may come back together. </li><li class="ql-align-justify">This is the surrender into the relationship and big picture for you both. </li><li class="ql-align-justify">You accept and allow each other to be who they are, flaws and all. This is where you come back again.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">You accept and allow yourselves to be who you are too. </li></ul>

Stage 7: The surrender

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">And finally, once you've fully surrendered and accepted your destiny, your life begins, and balance feels restored. </li><li class="ql-align-justify">Shared meaning is created, and there is more empathy and understanding in the relationship. </li><li class="ql-align-justify">In this stage, you support each other and continue to facilitate growth for the other.</li></ul>

Stage 8: Coming home

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Some people consider twin flames to be one of many <a href="https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-22169/you-have-4-kinds-of-soul-mates-heres-how-to-recognize-each-one.html">types of soul mates</a>, with twin flames being the most intense because they are, in fact, one soul.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">The biggest distinction between a twin flame and any other type of soul mate is that twin flames are two halves of the same whole.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">A soul mate, on the other hand, there's a deep familiarity, and you feel very close, but you aren't the same soul.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Soul mates have contracted to be together, and they don't always mean romantic love. You can have soul mates that are friends, pets, and family members, etc.</li></ul>

How are twin flames different from soul mates?

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Although twin flames are typically viewed as romantic relationships, they can also be <a href="https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/platonic-soulmates">platonic soul mates</a>. </li><li class="ql-align-justify">The emphasis on a twin flame relationship is a spiritual connection where you feel a familiarity and polarity with a person. </li><li class="ql-align-justify">This can take the form of a friend or even an acquaintance. </li><li class="ql-align-justify">In most cases, though, romance seems to be more common.</li></ul>

Are twin flames always romantically involved?

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Going by the commonly accepted idea that twin flames are two halves of the same whole, yes, you can have only one. </li><li class="ql-align-justify">This is up for debate though, and it really depends on how you define twin flame.</li></ul>

Can you have only one twin flame?

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">No. It is a rare connection, and not everybody has one. </li><li class="ql-align-justify">Ultimately, not everyone feels that pull toward the other part of their soul because it hasn't had this split.</li></ul>

Does everyone have a twin flame?

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Yes, this type of relationship can be toxic as your twin flame mirrors your own issues, unhealthy habits, imbalances. </li><li class="ql-align-justify">When twin flames are apart, they may have a hard time functioning. </li><li class="ql-align-justify">You may also end up defining your self-worth by the relationship. </li><li class="ql-align-justify">These aspects of the twin flame relationship can result in an unhealthy codependency. </li><li class="ql-align-justify">Often, twin flame relationships are romanticised and we tend to overlook some of the negative attributes.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Twin flames are notorious for being tumultuous if not handled with care. If we don't have self-love and awareness, they can become even more painful.</li></ul>

Can twin flames become toxic?

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Sometimes twin flames are meant together, but not always. </li><li class="ql-align-justify">Because twin flame relationships are very susceptible to codependency and other toxic relationship dynamics, sometimes it's in both people's best interests to simply walk away. </li><li class="ql-align-justify">Sometimes twin flames come into your life to teach you something, and then you're meant to go your separate ways.</li></ul>

Are twin flames meant to be together?

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Twin flame relationships are incredibly potent, powerful, and rare. But just because they're strong doesn't mean they're unbreakable - it's still important to work on a <a href="https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-25433/15-essential-qualities-of-relationships-that-last.html">conscious partnership </a>and your own individual growth.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">When you do that, the two of you will be catalysts for love, growth, and harmony in each other's lives.</li></ul>

The bottom line.

Interesting idea / concept of a relationship. In the end, whatever type of relationship one is in, focus on self-compassion, self-love and growth is the most helpful. The concept of a 'mirror' is also a useful reminder for us to work on ourselves and take responsibilities in order to move forward (in life and in the relationship).

A twin flame is an intense soul connection with someone thought to be a person's other half, sometimes called a "mirror soul."

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What Exactly Is A Twin Flame? How To Find Your "Mirror Soul"

1) They believe they must agree on everything.<ul><li>Their ritual approval may seem attentive, in truth, it's a version of not listening at all.</li></ul>2) Their praise is ill-targeted<ul><li>Plenty of nice things are being said, but they're not the one we happen to value.</li><li>Everyone loves being praised, but to be praised inaccurately is its own kind of insult.</li></ul>3) Their friendliness is remorselessly upbeat.<ul><li>They only focus on the good parts of our life, ignoring the dark, gloomy, and lonelier side of it.</li></ul>

The Overly Friendly are Guilty of 3 Large Errors

<ol><li>That disagreement isn't necessarily or always terrible.</li><li>That people only wants to be complimented on things they are actively proud of.</li><li>That we are not cheered up not so much by people who say cheery things, as by people who appear to understand us, sympathize with us.</li></ol>

Keep 3 Things Closely in Mind to Properly Please a Person

"Other people cannot, deep down, ever be very 'other' , and therefore that, in core ways, what one knows about oneself will be the master-key to understanding and getting along with stranger; not in every case, but enough of the time to make the difference."

<ul><li>We must first accept the risk that we might well displease them through a candid expression of our being.</li><li>Successful charm relies on a initial secure sense that we could survive social failure.</li><li>We must reconcile ourselves to the risk of not making friends to stand any chance of actually making any.</li></ul>

How To Stop Being A People Pleaser 

Friendliness is a great virtue. Over-friendliness can be an unexpected problem. For gifts and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://goo.gl/81j1IR Join our exclusive mailing list: http://bit.ly/2e0TQNJ Or visit us in person at our London HQ: https://goo.gl/NT09Ap vnKbbV FURTHER READING “There is a particularly poignant way to be a social disaster: through over-friendliness, a pattern of behaviour driven by the very best of motives which ends up feeling as irritating as outright rudeness. We meet the over-friendly at the office, laughing at the jokes of the senior management; behind the desk at the hotel, wishing Sir or Madam a highly enjoyable stay and across the table on a first date, lavishly endorsing their would-be partner’s every opinion about recent books and films. …” You can read more on this and other topics on our blog TheBookofLife.org at this link: https://goo.gl/jfPQtO MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE Our website has classes, articles and products to help you think and grow: https://goo.gl/H36P9B Watch more films on Self in our playlist: http://bit.ly/TSOLself Do you speak a different language to English? Did you know you can submit Subtitles on all of our videos on YouTube? For instructions how to do this click here: https://goo.gl/bMELqM SOCIAL MEDIA Feel free to follow us at the links below: vnKbbV Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theschooloflifelondon/ CREDITS Produced in collaboration with: Lois de Silva http://www.loisdesilva.com #TheSchoolOfLife

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Friendliness is a great virtue. Over-friendliness can be an unexpected problem.  For gifts and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://goo.gl/81j1IR
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FURTHER READING

“There is a particularly poignant way to be a social disaster: through over-friendliness, a pattern of behaviour driven by the very best of motives which ends up feeling as irritating as outright rudeness.
We meet the over-friendly at the office, laughing at the jokes of the senior management; behind the desk at the hotel, wishing Sir or Madam a highly enjoyable stay and across the table on a first date, lavishly endorsing their would-be partner’s every opinion about recent books and films.
…”

You can read more on this and other topics on our blog TheBookofLife.org at this link: https://goo.gl/jfPQtO 


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We're interested in self-understanding, calm and emotional maturity.

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The Problem with Over-Friendly People

"We fall in love with those who care for us in familiar ways."

<ul><li>As adults, we find ourselves rejecting certain candidates not because they're wrong for us, but because they're a little too right.</li><li>We are unfamiliar with such rightness, it feels foreign and unearned.</li></ul>

Why are we scared of the love we deserve?

"To choose our partner wisely, we need to tease out how certain compulsions to suffering may be playing themselves out in our feeling of attraction."

"It's your job to make your significant other happier — not happy, but happier. They should already be happy before they get into the relationship; it isn't fair to you that you be their source of happiness."

We are actually (only) attracted by people who have the style of love similar to our parent's in the past. And our choices are limited by that tendency, which sometimes result in toxic relationship. To choose a partner wisely, we should examine our past and free ourselves from it (e.g. When we have a toxic parent.)

Summary

We’re given very little guidance on how to choose our partners and tend to leave it to that mysterious force we know as ‘instinct’. However, it truly pays to be a little more rational in this area and work out how our instincts operate and why they push us towards some people and away from others. For gifts and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://goo.gl/lLmtDZ Join our mailing list: http://bit.ly/2e0TQNJ Or visit us in person at our London HQ: https://goo.gl/scNBv2 FURTHER READING “How do we choose the people we fall in love with? The Romantic answer is that our instincts naturally guide us to individuals who are kind and good for us. Love is a sort of ecstasy that descends when we feel ourselves in the presence of a benign and nourishing soul, who will answer our emotional needs, understand our sadness and strengthen us for the hard tasks of our lives. In order to locate our lover, we must let our instincts carry us along, taking care never to impede them through pedantic psychological analysis and introspection or else considerations of status, wealth or lineage. Our feelings will tell us clearly enough when we have reached our destiny. To ask someone with any degree of rigour why exactly they have chosen a particular partner is – in the Romantic world-view – simply an unnecessary and offensive misunderstanding of love: true love is an instinct that accurately and naturally settles on those with a capacity to make us happy.…” You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://goo.gl/IkAGvy MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE Our website has classes, articles and products to help you think and grow: https://goo.gl/1y98gz Watch more films on RELATIONSHIPS in our playlist: http://bit.ly/TSOLrelationships Do you speak a different language to English? Did you know you can submit Subtitles on all of our videos on YouTube? For instructions how to do this click here: https://goo.gl/J1yL37 S6UUH4 SOCIAL MEDIA Feel free to follow us at the links below: S6UUH4 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theschooloflifelondon/ CREDITS Produced in collaboration with: Zedem media http://www.zedemanimations.com/ #TheSchoolOfLife

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We’re given very little guidance on how to choose our partners and tend to leave it to that mysterious force we know as ‘instinct’. However, it truly pays to be a little more rational in this area and work out how our instincts operate and why they push us towards some people and away from others.  For gifts and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop:  https://goo.gl/lLmtDZ
Join our mailing list: http://bit.ly/2e0TQNJ 
Or visit us in person at our London HQ: https://goo.gl/scNBv2


FURTHER READING
“How do we choose the people we fall in love with? The Romantic answer is that our instincts naturally guide us to individuals who are kind and good for us. Love is a sort of ecstasy that descends when we feel ourselves in the presence of a benign and nourishing soul, who will answer our emotional needs, understand our sadness and strengthen us for the hard tasks of our lives. In order to locate our lover, we must let our instincts carry us along, taking care never to impede them through pedantic psychological analysis and introspection or else considerations of status, wealth or lineage. Our feelings will tell us clearly enough when we have reached our destiny. To ask someone with any degree of rigour why exactly they have chosen a particular partner is – in the Romantic world-view – simply an unnecessary and offensive misunderstanding of love: true love is an instinct that accurately and naturally settles on those with a capacity to make us happy.…”
You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://goo.gl/IkAGvy


MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE

Our website has classes, articles and products to help you think and grow: https://goo.gl/1y98gz

Watch more films on RELATIONSHIPS in our playlist: 
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Do you speak a different language to English?  Did you know you can submit Subtitles on all of our videos on YouTube?  For instructions how to do this click here: https://goo.gl/J1yL37
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How To Choose A Partner Wisely

"There's no prize in winning other than self-satisfied loneliness."

<ul><li>Maybe you're criticizing them for their bad habits, e.g. Drinking, Addictions, Not Enough Exercise, Poor Money Management, etc.</li><li>There are no prizes in love for correctly discerning the flaws of our partners.</li><li>By attacking our partner with clinical energy, we reduces our chances  of ever reaching the real goal : the evolution of the person we have to live with</li></ul>

On Criticizing Our Partner

<ul><li>What makes us bristle and deny everything generally isn't generally the accusation themselves.</li><li>We know our flaws far too well.</li><li>We know the other person is right, we just can't bear to take their criticism on board, given how severely it's been delivered.</li><li>We start to deny everything, not because the accusations are wrong, but because we are too terrified; the light of truth is shining too bright.</li><li class="ql-indent-1">The fear is that if we admitted our failings, we would be crushed, shown up as worthless, required to attempt an arduous, miserable process of change without requisite sympathy.</li></ul>

On the Receiving Side

<ul><li>Both sides must be ready to evolve, and during this process of evolution give and take sympathy and vulnerability with each other.</li><li>Both partners accept that they are flawed, but not - on this basis - ever beyond the need for love and kindness.</li><li>Take and give a well-considered criticism, layered by both,  reassurance and sympathy.</li><li>We need to be generous enough in our love in order that our partner can admit when they are in the wrong.</li></ul>

The Answer

"People don't change when they are told what's wrong with them, they change when they feel sufficiently supported to undertake the change they already know is due."

There's no more common response to a partner's remarks than to find oneself in a 'defensive' mood. It's hugely understandable, but at points unfruitful. What follows is a short guide to reversing out of defensive moods for the sake of healthier communication. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2LayJ9F For gifts and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/2RZTysj Our website has classes, articles and products to help you think and grow: https://bit.ly/2AaQTEG Download our App no on Android, IOS + PC: https://bit.ly/2R8n6Ed FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/2BhJtkP “We often operate in romantic life under the mistaken view – unconsciously imported from law courts and school debating traditions – that the person who is ‘right’ or has the stronger case should, legitimately, ‘win’ any argument. But this is fundamentally to misunderstand what the point of relationships might be. It is not to defeat an opponent (there are no prizes for ‘winning’ other than self-satisfied loneliness) so much as to try to help each other to evolve into the best versions of ourselves.” MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE Visit us in person at our London HQ: https://bit.ly/2FIGuX9 Watch more films on RELATIONSHIPS in our playlist: http://bit.ly/TSOLrelationships You can submit translations and transcripts on all of our videos here: https://www.youtube.com/timedtext_cs_panel?c=UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog&tab=2 Find out how more here: https://support.google.com/youtube/answer/6054623?hl=en-GB SOCIAL MEDIA Feel free to follow us at the links below: 2R8n6Ed Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theschooloflifelondon/ CREDITS Produced in collaboration with: Deanca Rensyta Mihardja https://deancarensyta.brushd.com/work/23840/show-reel #TheSchoolOfLife #Relationships #Arguments

technologyandthefuture

Technology & The Future

There's no more common response to a partner's remarks than to find oneself in a 'defensive' mood. It's hugely understandable, but at points unfruitful. What follows is a short guide to reversing out of defensive moods for the sake of healthier communication.
 Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2LayJ9F
For gifts and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/2RZTysj
Our website has classes, articles and products to help you think and grow: https://bit.ly/2AaQTEG
Download our App no on Android, IOS + PC: https://bit.ly/2R8n6Ed

FURTHER READING

You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/2BhJtkP

“We often operate in romantic life under the mistaken view – unconsciously imported from law courts and school debating traditions – that the person who is ‘right’ or has the stronger case should, legitimately, ‘win’ any argument. But this is fundamentally to misunderstand what the point of relationships might be. It is not to defeat an opponent (there are no prizes for ‘winning’ other than self-satisfied loneliness) so much as to try to help each other to evolve into the best versions of ourselves.”


MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE

Visit us in person at our London HQ: https://bit.ly/2FIGuX9

Watch more films on RELATIONSHIPS in our playlist: 
http://bit.ly/TSOLrelationships

You can submit translations and transcripts on all of our videos here: https://www.youtube.com/timedtext_cs_panel?c=UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog&tab=2 
Find out how more here: https://support.google.com/youtube/answer/6054623?hl=en-GB 


SOCIAL MEDIA

Feel free to follow us at the links below:

2R8n6Ed
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Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife   
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CREDITS

Produced in collaboration with:

Deanca Rensyta Mihardja
https://deancarensyta.brushd.com/work/23840/show-reel

#TheSchoolOfLife #Relationships #Arguments

How Not to Be Defensive in Relationships

Most women first begin developing menopause symptoms about four years before their last period.Symptoms often continue until about four years after a woman’s last period.

Menopause Process

Menopause can negatively affect libido in several ways.During menopause, testosterone and estrogen levels both decrease, making it more difficult to get aroused.

Menopause and Libido

<ol><li>See your doctor</li><li>Treatment</li><li>Hormone replacement therapy (HRT)</li><li>Lubricant</li><li>Exercise - Exercise not only helps combat weight gain, but can also improve your mood. That’s because exercise releases endorphins, which can reduce stress and trigger positive emotions.</li><li>Communicate with your partner</li><li>Focus on intimacy</li><li>Therapy - Therapy, both alone and with your partner, can help you manage some of the mood symptoms of menopause and understand how to manage a decreased libido.</li><li>Outlook</li></ol>

Things every woman should know about menopause:

health

Health

Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.

Love isn’t something we need to seek, it’s our nature. It’s who we are. When we don’t embody love, it’s because we’ve erected something to block it.

writing

Reading & Writing

Quote by Rumi

A good conscience is a continual Christmas.

If my Valentine you won't be, I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree.

Oh the weather outside is frightful,But the fire is so delightful,And since we've no place to go,Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.

Nothing ever seems too bad, too hard, or too sad when you've got a Christmas tree in the living room.

God never gives someone a gift they are not capable of receiving. If He gives us the gift of Christmas, it is because we all have the ability to understand and receive it.

Christmas is most truly Christmas when we celebrate it by giving the light of love to those who need it most.

Christmas is built upon a beautiful and intentional paradox; that the birth of the homeless should be celebrated in every home.

The rooms were very still while the pages were softly turned and the winter sunshine crept in to touch the bright heads and serious faces with a Christmas greeting.

Freshly cut Christmas trees smelling of stars and snow and pine resin—inhale deeply and fill your soul with wintry night.

Some Christmas tree ornaments do more than glitter and glow, they represent a gift of love given a long time ago.

Santa Claus is anyone who loves another and seeks to make them happy; who gives himself by thought or word or deed in every gift that he bestows.

Christmas will always be as long as we stand heart to heart and hand in hand.

I love the Christmas-tide, and yet,I notice this, each year I live;I always like the gifts I get,But how I love the gifts I give!

City sidewalksBusy sidewalksDressed in holiday styleIn the airThere's a feelingOf Christmas.

Let us have music for Christmas…Sound the trumpet of joy and rebirth;Let each of us try, with a song in our hearts,To bring peace to men on earth.

As for me, I like to take my Christmas a little at a time, all through the year.

Mankind is a great, an immense family. This is proved by what we feel in our hearts at Christmas.

For Christmas is tradition time—Traditions that recallThe precious memories down the years,The sameness of them all.

God goes to those who have time to hear him—and so on this cloudless night he went to simple shepherds.

And that, of course, is the message of Christmas. We are never alone. Not when the night is darkest, the wind coldest, the world seemingly most indifferent...

Christmas gives us an opportunity to pause and reflect on the important things around us.

It's not how much we give but how much love we put into giving.

There is no greater sound in the world than the rustle of Santa's sleigh bells on Christmas Eve.

Share these short sayings with family and friends. Merry Christmas! 🎅 

23 Famous Christmas Quotes to Inspire You This Holiday Season

A fulfilling <a href="https://parade.com/936221/marynliles/romantic-love-quotes/">romantic </a><a href="https://parade.com/living/red-flags-in-a-relationship">relationship </a>is what many of us strive for. Going through <a href="https://parade.com/937586/parade/life-quotes/">life </a>with our <a href="https://parade.com/333113/viannguyen/if-soul-mates-were-real-what-are-the-chances-youd-find-yours/">soulmate </a>can be a beautiful thing. It can also be complicated. No matter how strong the <a href="https://parade.com/1095291/marynliles/what-is-love/">love </a>is between the couple, there are differences in each individual's personality, interests and goals. Even little things that may have been tolerated at the beginning of a relationship can become annoying as the couple gets more comfortable with each other. As odd as that may sound, there are actually four major stages in a relationship .

This definitely does not mean doom and gloom is expected with any potential relationship. It just means that there will be challenges from time to time depending on the stage of the relationship that you are in. Luckily, there are some easy ways to overcome conflicts and true love will prevail. There is no definite time period for each of the following stages. Some couples get through all of them rather quickly and with others, it takes more time.

Experts Say There Are 4 Major Stages to Every Relationship: Which One Are You In?

Find 100+ Facts about Love & Relationships - Curated from trusted sources like  Books, Podcasts & Articles - Genuine Insights from like-minded Users like You!

Unwritten Rules About Life Everyone Should Know

What Exactly Is A Twin Flame? How To Find Your "Mirror Soul"

The Problem with Over-Friendly People

How To Choose A Partner Wisely

How Not to Be Defensive in Relationships

Menopause and Libido

Quote by Rumi

23 Famous Christmas Quotes to Inspire You This Holiday Season

Experts Say There Are 4 Major Stages to Every Relationship: Which One Are You In?

5 passive-aggressive phrases that 'make people respect you less': Public speaking expert

It's time to
Read like a Pro.

Unwritten Rules About Life Everyone Should Know

What Exactly Is A Twin Flame? How To Find Your "Mirror Soul"

The Problem with Over-Friendly People

How To Choose A Partner Wisely

How Not to Be Defensive in Relationships

Menopause and Libido

Quote by Rumi

23 Famous Christmas Quotes to Inspire You This Holiday Season

Experts Say There Are 4 Major Stages to Every Relationship: Which One Are You In?

5 passive-aggressive phrases that 'make people respect you less': Public speaking expert

It's time to Read like a Pro.

It's time to
Read like a Pro.