We’ve been taught to value other people’s opinions more highly than our own. So we develop the habit of worrying more about how others see us than how we see ourselves. This results in a culture where people try to please others to be liked but are ultimately unfulfilled since they do not like themselves.

Not all opinions are important, we can’t make everyone happy

We have to understand that everyone’s perspective of us, and society is unique and subjective. So, while they may be correct about something due to the narrative in their head, it may be completely incorrect for us.
Someone may be having a bad day at work or a bad week at home; these are beyond our control and, most likely, not known to us. While these factors may influence how they react to us, they have nothing to do with us. But, we take everything personally. When a friend snaps at us, we question ourselves. “Did I do anything wrong?” “Did I bother him/her at an inappropriate time?”

We can’t make everyone happy. It’s a straight-up fact!

“The pressure that women feel to be people-pleasers is very real. … Young girls are told to be quiet and pleasant, to be orientated toward others, to not speak up for what they want, and to please others. These gender-based stereotypes are continuously reinforced in our society in a manner that distinctly disadvantages women

We stretch ourselves too far in order to please people and ‘adjust’ in society, we miss the thin boundary we had. We’re left wondering, “How much did I alter for society?” “What kind of progress did I create for myself?” “Am I still the same person?”

For People Pleasers

Our desire to be liked can keep us from doing things that are important to us because we will be preoccupied with weighing what others think and what they may say.We won’t be able to try new things because we’ll worry about what people will think if we’re not good at them. All of this will only increase the pressure and worry related to living up to expectations.Eventually, it will prevent us from discovering our true selves.

Consequences

Our basic social and emotional requirements include that desire. So what do we do?
<ul>
<li>Embrace disagreement — It’s normal for people to disagree, and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s a good thing because we all have unique life experiences that shape our perspectives.</li>
<li>Realize that other people’s opinions are not our concern. They reflect a person’s mindset. So, if we have a positive friend, they are likely to have positive thoughts and perspectives of the world. Similarly, angry people have more negative opinions and perceptions. And we cannot control what they think.</li>
</ul>

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be liked by people.

Understand yourself and those around you.

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Psychology

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Personal Development

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Motivation & Inspiration

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Mental Health

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Love & Relationships

Can’t make everyone happy

<ul><li>Highly sensitive people (HSPs) are empathetic, deeply sensing individuals who are remarkably in tune to the world around them. </li><li>That HSPs should toughen up is a notion that the creators of the world’s largest community for sensitive people say should end. </li><li>Normalizing what HSPs bring to the table is essential. </li> </ul>

7 Things To know About Highly Sensitive People - Key points

Stop being so sensitive. Yeesh, you’re so easily overwhelmed by everything. According to Jenn Granneman and Andre Sólo, authors of the book Sensitive (Harmony Books, 2023), the truth is: yes, highly sensitive people (HSPs) are indeed sensitive. Very sensitive. And, yes, they are easily overwhelmed by <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/environment">the environment </a>around them. However, what the authors emphasize is that, no, they don’t have to stop feeling this way. Nor should they be shamed for being this way.

Highly Sensitive People (HSP)

In fact, during an interview with Sólo, he explains that being an <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/highly-sensitive-person">HSP </a>—someone who has stronger reactions than others and processes what’s happening in the environment much more deeply—is precisely what society needs.

Stronger Reactions

“The world has had enough of toughness,” Sólo says. He should know. He and co-author Granneman are c reators of the world’s largest community for sensitive people, Highly Sensitive Refuge, where HSPs can find solace in the stories from and about sensitive people of all walks of life. Sólo adds that it’s high time society embraces their high degree of <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/empathy">empathy </a>and sensitivity rather than view it as something to change.

Highly Sensitive Refuge 

Ours is a world that tends to prize or listen more to those who are the loudest, more overt, or quickest to respond, Sólo explains. HSPs—individuals who are brimming with empathy and who are more deeply in tune with the environment around them, right down to subtle nuances and micro-expressions—bring a soothing balm to the "too loud" table.

1. Their Sensitivity is a Calming Necessity. 

Sólo explains that HSPs often add immense value to the conversation, project, or task at hand. They may not be the loudest, speak up first, talk over others, or even say anything at all during a meeting or a family conversation. But, rest assured, Sólosays, they are taking in the information, processing it, and about to create or convey something wonderful. This could be a unique <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/parenting">parenting </a>point of view, a work strategy that wasn’t previously considered, or a physical work of art—or all of the above.

2. HSPs offer invaluable insight.

The world is in infinite demand for what they offer, Sólosays of HSPs. They are the deep thinkers, the passionate, ultra-<a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/human-kind/201907/why-do-some-people-express-insincere-kindness">kind </a>, sensing, and creative types. This isn't to say that non-HSPs aren't passionate or creative. It's just that the HSP has “a mind that is processing more, which translates to contributing even more, whether it’s in the tech field or creating a beautiful sculpture.”

3. Their unique gifts are in high demand. 

Nearly one in three people are highly sensitive, Sólosays. “They are not alone or a weirdo! Their amazing <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/personality">personality </a>is tied to <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/intelligence">giftedness </a>and is one of the best things about them. The world needs to normalize and embrace this.”

4. HSPs are not weirdos! 

One big myth is that HSPs need to toughen up. It's a common expression that was conveyed in <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/child-development">childhood </a>and still is even into adulthood. Sólofeels strongly about bidding that notion adieu . He explains that HSPs don’t need to get over anything or grow a thicker skin. Rather, the world needs to enjoy the benefits they offer, especially in a world where big, loud, and drama-infused behaviors tend to be merited.

5. They don’t need to grow a thicker skin.

Sólo’s advice to HSPs: “Know your limits and set boundaries. Such a strong sense of empathy makes you want to help everyone, which can be draining, even more if what you give is infrequently, or never, reciprocated.” He says that it’s perfectly fine to tell someone, “I had a <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/stress">stressful </a>week and can’t talk tonight, but here's what I can suggest now.” Then consider offering a raincheck, or recommending a therapist, book, or another helpful resource. “It’s essential to take the time to focus on you," he says, "to recharge so you can become that wonderfully amazing limitless well.”

6. Boundary-setting is essential. 

There shouldn’t be any <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/embarrassment">shame </a>associated with being a deeply feeling and sensing person with boundless empathy. If, for example, someone says that you’re raising your child to be sensitive, Sólo suggests respondingby proudly acknowledging that he or she is indeed a sensitive child. Then add, “it’s something we are trying to encourage.”

7. Their personality needs to be normalized. 

Highly sensitive people have a lot to offer the world; their ability to feel and process more deeply and thoroughly than others should be viewed as a welcome breath of fresh air in an often fast and frenzied society.

A Breath Of Fresh Air 

7 Things To know About Highly Sensitive People

They bring significant value to a fast, frenzied world.

problemsolving

Problem Solving

7 Things You Should Know About Highly Sensitive People

<ul><li>Pseudologia fantastica, aka pathological lying, is when a person lies to a degree that is out of proportion to any clear, objective benefit. </li><li>Pseudologia fantastica serves an ego-driven, internally motivated longing for how someone wishes the world would be and would see them. </li><li>Confronting a pathological liar with their deceptions will likely backfire, as it only tends to stimulate further fabrication and evasion. </li> </ul>

A Psychological Diagnosis About People Who Lie About Everything 

"It's a basic truth of the human condition that everybody lies. The only variable is about what."—Hugh Laurie

Quote On Lying 

Truth be told, we all lie sometimes. <a href="https://www.uwlax.edu/currents/how-often-do-people-lie/">Ninety percent </a>of our deceptions are white lies told to protect ourselves, to avoid getting into trouble, and to spare someone else’s feelings. For the most part, the lies we tell are motivated by an external reason. They are typically defensive to avoid the consequences of truth-telling—"I swear I have no idea what happened to that plate of cookies.” They may be tactical—“I never received your email” or <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/altruism">altruistic </a>—“You look great in that dress.”

Truth About Lying

Lying may be an integral part of our daily lives, but there is a big difference between “normal” lying and pathological lying, also known as pseudologia fantastica. The term pseudologia fantastica (PF) was first coined by the German physician, Anton Delbrueck, in 1891 to describe the phenomenology of a group of patients who told lies that were obviously extreme and fantastical with a clear departure from reality to the observer, yet perceived by the patients themselves as within the realm of possibility. People with PF lie about everything constantly, eloquently, excessively, and chronically.

Normal Verses Pathological Lying 

These individuals <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Brad-Kelln/publication/247501304_A_review_and_case_report_of_pseudologia_fantastica/links/5563672a08ae9963a11eef50/A-review-and-case-report-of-pseudologia-fantastica.pdf">“indulge in a veritable orgy of lying” </a> to serve an ego-driven, internally motivated longing for how they wish the world would be and would see them. For instance, if your neighbor has a dilapidated but cherished old car and asks your opinion about it, you might stretch the truth and say something along the lines of, “I think your car is fabulous.” However, someone with PF would respond, “I have 10 vintage sports cars, all in top condition, at my large, private estate in Monaco.” The person with PF lies to self-aggrandize, not to flatter the neighbor.

Ego-Driven Lying

Moreover, unlike cons who lie for external gain or profit, people with PF tell lies that go above and beyond what would be necessary to pull off a successful swindle. They are out of proportion to any obvious external reward. The lies they tell are “almost always dazzling or fantastical,” and easily roll off their tongue. Sometimes they lie “just because.” Lying is inherently gratifying for them. These are the people who lie about what they ate for lunch.

Out Of Proportion Lying

While there is no current gold-standard definition of pseudologia fantastica, <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5442346/">several key characteristics </a>have been identified:<ol><li>They chronically tell lies or untrue stories that are unrelated to, or out of proportion to, any clear, objective benefit.</li><li>Qualitatively, the stories are dramatic, detailed, complicated, colorful, and fantastic.</li></ol>

Key characteristics of pseudologia fantastica

3. The stories typically feature the pseudologue as the hero or victim and seem geared to achieve acceptance, admiration, and sympathy;4. I terms of insight, the pseudologue lies somewhere along a spectrum between conscious deceit and delusion, not always conscious of his motives and seeming at least intermittently to believe his stories yet never to reach the level of conviction that would indicate a loss of reality-testing.

Key characteristics of pseudologia fantastica (Continued

Most people are mortified and ashamed when their lies are exposed but not those with PF. When confronted with their <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/deception">deception </a>, people with PF are typically unfazed. They don’t break out in hives or lose sleep or sweat. Rather, they double down, sometimes providing further elaborate details to explain the lies.

Confronting Deception

That said, in the face of incontrovertible evidence, they will—reluctantly —relinquish their tall tales. This stands in contrast to people with a delusional disorder who cling to their fixed false beliefs no matter what. PF often overlaps with borderline, antisocial, and <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/narcissism">narcissistic </a><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/personality-disorders">personality disorders </a>, but not always. Sometimes they are stand-alone liars.

Delusional Lying

Confronting the person with their deceptions will likely backfire. As tempting as it is to take a prosecutorial approach and attempt to extract a mea culpa from the individual, save your breath. Exposure and questioning tend to stimulate further fabrication and evasion.

There is no cure for pseudologia fantastica

In a clinical setting, there is evidence that showing disinterest in the tales but maintaining interest in the person may help reduce the <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/motivation">motivation </a>to lie. While there is no guarantee of successful treatment, I think we can all agree that these people belong in a therapist’s office and not in political office.

Lie Motivation 

philosophy

Philosophy

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Career

A Psychological Diagnosis for People Who Lie About Everything

Your libido is also commonly referred to as your sex drive — it’s your emotional and mental desire for sex.
Your libido is individual to you and varies widely between people. What you experience as normal libido might be higher or lower than what somebody else experiences.
A number of factors influence your libido, such as:
<ul>
<li>Age</li>
<li>Hormone levels</li>
<li>Stress levels</li>
<li>Changes in your sexual relationships</li>
<li>Fatigue</li>
<li>Illness</li>
<li>Medications</li>
<li>Your personal beliefs and attitudes toward sex.</li>
</ul>
A high libido is generally not a concern unless it’s having a negative impact on your life or relationships.

How to Decrease Libido

First it's important what libido is ?it’s simply a term for your desire for sexual activity.<ul><li>If you have a penis, you’ll generally experience an erection as blood flows into tissues in the penis</li><li>If you have a vulva, the vagina will often experience an increased production of vaginal fluids and swelling of the vulva and clitoris from increased blood flow.</li></ul> Your libido is individual to you, ranging anywhere from having no desire in sex to thinking about it frequently. But unless your sex drive is causing problems with your relationships or in your life, it’s essentially normal.

How does your libido work?

<ul><li>Biological factors such as your levels of testosterone or estrogen, overall health, and presence of illness.</li><li>Psychological factors such as stress, presence of mental conditions like depression, and your self-esteem.</li><li>Social factors such as the health of your current sexual relationships and the norms around your ability to act on sexual desire when you’re in a situation where you feel aroused. </li></ul>

Biological, psychological, and social factors all play a role in

Many factors can influence your libido. If you think you may have a hormone imbalance, it’s a good idea to visit your doctor. Hormone tests may be able to provide insight on whether your high libido has a physical cause.Changes in your sex hormone levels can influence your sex drive and can easily be measured with a blood test. Your doctor can also screen you for other conditions that may increase your sex drive.

How can I determine my libido?

If you feel that your libido is too high and having a negative impact on your life, here are a few ways you might be able to manage it.DietPsychotherapyWork on your relationshipsMedicationStop illicit drug use.DIET:-<ol><li>Aphrodisiacs are foods or medications that increase your libido — anaphrodisiacs are the opposite. </li><li>licorice may lower testosterone levels.</li><li>Soy has also been claimed to lower libido in men by lowering testosterone.</li><li>Mediterranean diet had the lowest levels of sexual dysfunction. </li></ol>

How can I decrease my libido?

If your doctor doesn’t suspect that your high libido has a physical cause, they may recommend that you seek therapy or counseling.Speaking with a therapist can help you uncover reasons that may be triggering your experience of high libido and help you learn techniques to manage it.Therapy sessions can come in many forms, including one-on-one, family, or group. It’s up to you to decide what you’re most comfortable with when it comes to discussing your sex drive.

Psychotherapy

If you’re currently in a relationship but not satisfied with your sex life, you may want to discuss this with your partner to come to a mutual consensus as to how sex can be fully satisfying for both of you.If you’re not currently in a sexual relationship but would like to be, be transparent with your potential partners about your expectation in a sexual relationship and communicate openly about what you do and don’t like.

Work on your relationships 

In some cases, your doctor may recommend medications to reduce sexual urges, including: <ul><li>Corticosteroids</li><li>Chemotherapy or radiation</li><li>Hormones for prostate cancer</li><li>Opioids like morphine (MorphaBond) and oxycodone (OxyContin)</li><li>Ketoconazole, an antifungal medication</li><li>Cimetidine (Tagamet), for heartburn and reflux conditions</li><li>Anabolic steroids for building muscle</li><li>Antidepressants</li></ul>If you’re currently on medication, you may want to talk to your doctor to see if your use of prescribed medications may be influencing your sex drive.

Medication

Cocaine and methamphetamines are two illicit drugs that can increase your sex drive, and reducing their use can help lower your sex drive. Quitting these types of drugs can be difficult by yourself, but there are a number of support groups and services available for you. Call the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration’s National Helpline at 800-662-4357 for treatment referral if you’re ready to seek help for your drug use.

Stop illicit drug use

Here are some tips:<ul><li>Engage in a relaxing activity before sex. Doing something relaxing. </li><li>Communicate your desires. Make it clear to your partner what you want so that both of you can work together to feel satisfied.</li><li>Talk about boundaries. If there are things in the bedroom that you’re not comfortable doing, let your partner know in advance.</li><li>Don’t be afraid to ask questions. If you’re not sure what your partner finds pleasurable, it never hurts to ask.</li><li>Talk to a sex therapist. A sex therapist can help you and your partner work through miscommunication or feelings of dissatisfaction in the bedroom.</li></ul>

What are some tips for healthy sex?

Compulsive sexual behavior, sometimes called sex addiction or hypersexuality disorder, refers to sexual behavior that disrupts your life.Here are some signs that you may be experiencing compulsive sexual behavior:<ul><li>Difficulty maintaining healthy relationships</li><li>Engaging in sexual behaviors that negatively impact your life</li><li>Excessively using sex or masturbation as an escape from stress or personal problems</li><li>Reoccurring urges or fantasies that feel beyond your control</li><li>Financial or legal problems as well as other serious consequences that result from your sexual behavior</li></ul>

When should I see a doctor?

<ul><li>Do you feel unable to manage your sexual impulses?</li><li>Are your sexual behaviors causing you distress?</li><li>Is your sexual behavior hurting your relationships or having negative consequences?</li><li>Are you trying to hide your sexual behavior?</li></ul>

Some questions you can ask yourself to judge if you may have com

Your libido is another name for your sex drive. Your libido is individual to you, and what’s normal for you may not be normal for somebody else.Generally, a high libido is only a concern if it’s causing issues with your relationships or life. Talk to your partner, your doctor, or a counselor if your high libido is keeping you from having sex life you want. Keep SmilingFaisal...

The takeaway

Make your sex life more ... Flourishing with the knowledge of sexual intimacy and how to control it for better life...-Faisal 

Learn how to decrease libido through diet and lifestyle changes, learn what research says about lowering your libido, and get tips for healthy sex.

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Food

health

Health

scienceandnature

Science & Nature

How To Decrease Libido: What Libido Is, Tips, and More

Whether due to media advice or social pressures, most people strive to present what are their most desirable and alluring behaviors in their search for a partner. That “positives only” presentation, sadly, is bound to run into problems as likely skeletons must eventually emerge. Every human being has emotional and physical baggage and, when it finally comes to light, it can result in disillusionment that can threaten the relationship.

10 Behaviors That Can Push People Away

Most people tell me that their relationships end because of emerging incompatibilities, previously hidden deal breakers, or crises such as infidelities or emerging addictions..There are often underlying <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/personality">personality </a>characteristics and behaviors that are likely to push a partner away even when those more obvious reasons don’t exist. Moreover, people come into each new relationship already manifesting them and may unknowingly create a self-fulling prophecy if they remain unaware that they are behaving that way.

Emerging Incompatibilities

I’m going to talk about 10 of these that come up over and over during <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/therapy">therapy </a>sessions, but you may also have some in your relationships that have the same effect. What they have in common is that they are not as easily noted in the early stages of a relationship but cause emotional allergies over time.

"Emotional Allergies" Over Time 

Constant expressions of outrage are either tolerated by others or agreed with and expanded. They are most often a cover for powerlessness but still inject toxicity into the relationship when continually expressed. Outrages are often not susceptible to fixing. They have a life of their own that transfers powerlessness to the other partner.

1. Outrage 

The White Rabbit in Alice in Wonderland proclaims, “I’m late. I’m late. For a very important date. No time to say hello/goodbye. I’m late. I’m late.” People who live in a state of urgency cannot relax, continuously anticipate potential crises and are in constant readiness for combat mode. Their focus is on the future and they cannot be fully present in what is going on in the moment.

2. Urgency 

Are you easily irked? Do most people and situations often irritate you? Do you react quickly when things don’t go the way you expected? Do others feel called upon often to “calm you down?” No one can be around a person who is that intolerant of too many small issues in most situations. It just takes away the joy of anything good or joyful that could be focused upon instead.

3. Low Frustration Tolerance 

Have you known someone, or are you someone, who has to go over things repeatedly and relive every anguishing moment? They are obsessive about getting to the bottom of things even if they endlessly repeat themselves. They usually are so preoccupied by these forever searches that they cannot let in new information that might actually help stop the cycle.

4. Endless Rehash

It is very hard to be on the other end of someone who can only see the world from their own point of view, talks only about themselves, doesn’t ask you any questions about yourself, doesn’t track things you’ve told them, and steals the lion’s share of every interaction. If that person is <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/charisma">charismatic </a>and fascinating, it may be worth the show, but don’t bother competing.

5. Center Stage 

There is just no successful way to deal with a person who consistently keeps you waiting. They usually feel terrible doing that to you so it is hard to chastise them, but it will ultimately drive you crazy. The most common reason for chronic lateness is inertia. These people can’t easily let go of what they are doing and don’t plan enough time to transfer from one situation to another. Nevertheless, they are often labeled as passive/aggressive and unable to be tolerated.

6. Chronic Lateness

onsistently not honoring agreements is a sure way to push others away. Trust in a relationship is core to its success. If someone wants to keep your trust, then they can’t ignore or rationalize breaking an agreement without an attempt to renegotiate in advance, or a sincere promise to change that behavior. It is human to make a promise and sometimes be unable to keep it, but it is not okay to just ghost or not recognize the damage that does to a relationship.

7. Flaking

8. CheapnessA person who is paranoid about being taken advantage of is often concerned about getting the short end of the stick. They may show that by undertipping waiters, bargaining to get the best deal in every interaction, taking more easily than they give, and being quick to blame others for taking advantage of them. They do not feel that others deserve their generosity if they haven’t earned it by their own standards.

8. Cheapness

Playful teasing is totally acceptable if the teaser and “teasee” are both okay with the interaction. But sarcasm usually has some level of scorn or mockery driving it. The joke is on the person on the other end who may be good-natured enough to laugh, but it’s a rose-covered hilt and doesn’t usually feel good. Sarcastic people may be insecure, uncomfortable with intimacy, or scared themselves of being the butt of a joke, but that behavior can be wearing over time.

9. Sarcasm

People put up with them more easily if they are funny enough to get away with it, or truly feel apologetic when told they’ve been hurtful, but it becomes more unwelcome over time.

9. (Continued)

10. Perpetual VictimsEveryone goes through times in their lives when they are truly victimized or have to undergo severe trauma and loss. Most do whatever they can to rebound and return to a better life, even if it takes a while. But there are others who seem to live in victimhood. Someone is always wronging them. They are cheated by life experiences. Others aren’t fair to them. Nothing they do can make their circumstances bearable and no one can understand the depth of their despair. Many try to help, but to no avail. They are wedded to their sorrow.

10. Perpetual Victims

Do you recognize any of those behaviors from your own relationships?

mindfulness

Mindfulness

"Total self& sufficiency turns out to be a daydream whose bubble is burst by the sharp edge of the limbic brain. Stability means finding people who regulate you well and staying near them."-Thomas Lewis

Author Quote 

<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/35711.A_General_Theory_of_Love">A General Theory Of Love </a>will help you reprogram your mind for better emotional intelligence and relationships by teaching you what three psychiatrists have to say about the science of why we experience love and other emotions.

A General Theory Of Love - Book Su

If you’ve ever been in love, you know how fun it can be. Life seems perfect when you think you’ve found “the one” and get to spend every day with them. But then you break up and your entire world falls apart. What’s the deal with that?  Too often we trust the lyrics of love songs to get us through the good times and the bad. But what if our idea of <a href="http://fourminutebooks.com/a-return-to-love-summary/">affection </a>isn’t as mysterious as we’ve come to think? What if, just maybe, science has a thing or two to say about our relationships that can really help us have healthier ones?

Book Overview 

This is just what you’ll get with <a href="http://www.thomaslewis.com/index.htm#about-la">Thomas Lewis </a>’s <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/35711.A_General_Theory_of_Love">A General Theory of Love </a>. This is a great book if you’ve ever known what infatuation feels like on any level. Even after almost seven years of marriage this book taught me a lot about my relationship with my wife!

<ol><li>The reason we love and feel attachment is because of chemicals in the brain like serotonin, oxytocin, and opiates. </li><li>We learn how to have different feelings from the way our parents treat us, and we can optimize our brains for emotional intelligence through <a href="http://fourminutebooks.com/maybe-you-should-talk-to-someone-summary/">long-term therapy </a>. </li><li>Loving someone and being in love are two different things, and understanding the signs of both will improve your relationships. </li> </ol>All you need is love, right? Let’s take a closer look at this phenomenon!

Top 3 Book Less

We all like to believe that it’s fate, cupid, or some other mysterious force that brings us and our companions together. But taking a closer look, we can explain this phenomenon in scientific terms with what are known as neurotransmitters. Our sense of attachment depends on three specific ones called serotonin, oxytocin, and <a href="http://fourminutebooks.com/dreamland-summary/">opiates </a>.

Lesson 1:  Serotonin, oxytocin, and opiates

First we have <a href="http://fourminutebooks.com/lost-connections-summary/">serotonin </a>, which <a href="http://fourminutebooks.com/anatomy-of-an-epidemic-summary/">reduces feelings of depression and anxiety </a>. When you lose someone close to you, these can kick in to help you feel better. They can also help a person who has a hard time getting away from toxic people. By boosting serotonin levels with antidepressants, for example, someone in a bad relationship can finally get the courage to get out.

Oxytocin is another neurotransmitter necessary to feeling attachment. During childbirth, it’s present in high levels and is what causes the close bond between mother and child. This chemical also affects other attachments throughout our lives. Two different species of prairie dogs, for example, have varying levels of it in their brains. Those with less oxytocin are more promiscuous and less caring for their young.

And finally let’s take a look at opiates. When you touch a hot stove, these are what help your brain get relief from the feeling of pain. But the authors also identify that these also help heal <a href="http://fourminutebooks.com/the-body-keeps-the-score-summary/">emotional trauma </a>as well. They help us make these connections in the first place and repair our broken hearts anytime they end.

In the brain, our memory connects together to form attractors, which indicate how we should classify the information we receive. Our experiences build these vital components, which directly affect our memories. When we’re born, our minds are clean slates without any attractors. We must have our parents to teach us, but when they lack emotional development, it can affect our capabilities to feel also.

Lesson 2: The difficulties you may have with emotions

For example, when a kid falls on the ground, they’ll <a href="http://fourminutebooks.com/no-drama-discipline-summary/">look to their mother or father </a>for a reaction. If they see concern in their parents facial expression, the toddler will learn to cry at these experiences. On the other hand, when adults express amusement, children can learn to smile and laugh at failures.  Because our ability to connect with others and form relationships hinges on what our parents teach us, these experiences are vital. But inheriting your parents emotional problems is no fun. How can we fix these? Through the reprogramming possible with psychotherapy.

Your attractors form by learning, so they can be broken and re-shaped by modifying the neural network to which they belong. There are many different methods of psychotherapy, but as long as a patient gets what’s known as limbic revision , they can get emotionally healthy again.

It’s pretty <a href="http://fourminutebooks.com/30-lessons-for-loving-summary/">obvious when you’re in love </a>. I remember when I was at this stage with my now wife, it seemed like there was nothing else in the world but her. My grades began to suffer, and I didn’t realize it but I was ignoring almost everyone else in my life. But I didn’t care because I was in love and everything was wonderful.

Lesson 3: Be careful to know the difference bet

While vital to the process of forming loving relationships, being in love isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Just ask anyone who’s just gone through a bad breakup and it’s easy to see the pain it can cause. Some of us are more in love with the idea of being in love than with actually loving our partners. And that’s a huge problem because this “honeymoon phase” of love will end someday. That’s why you need to learn how to be loving.

The key to healthy long-term <a href="http://fourminutebooks.com/tell-me-more-summary/">relationships </a>is the level of emotional connection within a couple. While unrequited love is possible, a loving relationship is always mutual. Mature affection comes from knowing and caring for each other instead of just being mere acquaintances as falling in love requires.

If you love psychology, you’re going to love <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/35711.A_General_Theory_of_Love">A General Theory of Love </a>! The ideas and principles this teaches about what makes us love and experience other emotions are incredibly intriguing. This book gave me some amazing new insights about why my family and I feel and do certain things, and I’m certain it will do the same for you.

A General Theory Of Love - Book Review

The 19-year-old couple who think that they love with each other but might actually be more infatuated with the idea of being in love, the 45-year-old with an interest in <a href="http://fourminutebooks.com/descartes-error-summary/">neuroscience </a>, and anyone who <a href="http://fourminutebooks.com/all-about-love-summary/">wants to know what love really is </a>.

Who would I recommend the A General Theory Of Love to?

The A General Theory Of Love Summary will help you upgrade your emotional intelligence and relationship health by learning the science of love.

A General Theory Of Love Summary

Introverts need some time to do self introspection and do things they enjoy. Introverts enjoy solitude most of the time.

𝐀𝐦𝐚𝐳𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐅𝐚𝐜𝐭

𝐀𝐦𝐚𝐳𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐅𝐚𝐜𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰...

moneyandinvestments

Money & Investments

communication

Communication

leadershipandmanagement

Leadership & Management

𝐀𝐦𝐚𝐳𝐢𝐧𝐠 

<ul><li>In 1938, Harvard researchers embarked on a <a href="https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/the-secret-to-happiness-heres-some-advice-from-the-longest-running-study-on-happiness-2017100512543">decades-long study </a>to find out: What <a href="https://www.cnbc.com/2023/01/05/what-people-in-finland-happiest-country-in-world-never-do-according-to-psychologist.html">makes us happy </a>in life?</li><li>The researchers gathered health records from 724 participants from all over the world and asked detailed questions about their lives at two-year intervals.</li><li>Contrary to what you might think, it’s not career achievement, money, <a href="https://www.cnbc.com/2022/06/24/fitness-trainer-shares-the-exercises-she-does-every-day-to-look-and-feel-younger.html">exercise </a>, or a <a href="https://www.cnbc.com/2022/10/21/cardiologist-shares-foods-that-are-not-actually-that-healthy-for-your-heart-what-to-look-for-instead.html">healthy diet </a>. </li><li>The most consistent finding we’ve learned through 85 years of study is: Positive relationships keep us happier, healthier, and help us <a href="https://www.cnbc.com/2020/07/29/people-who-live-100-longer-share-this-hobby-longevity-experts-say-it-can-add-years-to-life.html">live longer</a>. Period .</li></ul>

What Makes Us Happy? 

<ul><li>Relationships affect us physically. Ever notice the invigoration you feel when you believe someone has really understood you during a good conversation? Or a lack of sleep during a period of romantic strife?</li><li>To make sure your relationships are healthy and balanced, it’s important to practice “social fitness.”</li><li>Our social life is a living system, and it needs exercise.</li><li>Social fitness requires taking stock of our relationships, and being honest with ourselves about where we’re devoting our time and whether we are tending to the connections that help us thrive.</li></ul>

The No. 1 Key to a Happy Life : ‘Social Fitness'

Humans are social creatures. Each of us as individuals cannot provide everything we need for ourselves. We need others to interact with and to help us.In our relational lives, there are seven keystones of support:<ol><li>Safety and security: Who would you call if you woke up scared in the middle of the night? Who would you turn to in a moment of crisis?</li><li>Learning and growth: Who encourages you to try new things, to take chances, to pursue your life’s goals?</li></ol>

How To Take Stock of Your Relationships 

<ul><li>Emotional closeness and confiding: Who knows everything (or most things) about you? Who can you call on when you’re feeling low and be honest with about how you’re feeling?</li><li>Identity affirmation and shared experience: Is there someone in your life who has shared many experiences with you and who helps you strengthen your sense of who you are?</li></ul>

How To Take Stock Of Your Relationships (cont.) 

<ul><li>Romantic intimacy: Do you feel satisfied with the amount of romantic intimacy in your life?</li><li>Help (both informational and practical): Who do you turn to if you need some expertise or help solving a practical problem (e.g., planting a tree, fixing your WiFi connection).</li><li>Fun and relaxation: Who makes you laugh? Who do you call to see a movie or go on a road trip with who makes you feel connected and at ease?</li></ul>

How To Take Stock Of Your Relationships (cont.)

<ul><li>Prepare a chart based on the above with the relationships around you. </li><li>Place a plus (+) symbol in the appropriate columns if a relationship adds to that type of support in your life, and a minus (-) symbol if a relationship lacks that type of support. </li><li>It’s okay if not all relationships offer you all those types of support.</li><li>Think of this exercise like an X-ray, a tool that helps you see below the surface of your social universe. </li><li>Not all of those types of support will feel important to you, but consider which of them do, and ask yourself if you’re getting enough support in those areas.</li></ul>

Assessing The Relationships In Your Life Through A Chart

<ul><li>Looking at the gaps on the chart, you might realize that you have plenty of people you have fun with, but no one to confide in. </li><li>Or maybe you only have one person you go to for help, or that a person you take for granted actually makes you feel safe and secure.</li><li>Don’t be afraid to reach out to the people in your life. Whether it’s a thoughtful question or a moment of devoted attention, it’s never too late to deepen the connections that matter to you.</li></ul>

Assess Your Chart And Reach Out To People That Matters 

Interesting study on what truly makes us happy... A good way for us to stop / pause and reflect on these areas of our lives. 

In 1938, Harvard researchers embarked on a decades-long study to find out: What is the secret to a happy life? Contrary to what think, it's not career achievement, money, exercise, or a healthy diet.

The No. 1 thing that makes us happy in life: It helps us 'live longer'

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𝐀𝐦𝐚𝐳𝐢𝐧𝐠

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