“If those whom we begin to love could know us as we were before meeting them … they could perceive what they have made of us.”

Those who prefer their principles over their happiness, they refuse to be happy outside the conditions they seem to have attached to their happiness.

Physical suffering is sometimes humiliating, but the suffering of being cannot be, it is life.

French laureate, philosopher and author Albert Camus's provoking thoughts on love, happiness, unhappiness and self-imposed prisons.

Insight into the evolution of some of the Nobel Prize winner's famous works is provided through the compilation of quotations and commentaries that reveal the nature of the author's spiritual, intellectual, and moral conflicts.

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

loveandrelationships

Love & Relationships

books

Books

From 1935 until his death, Albert Camus kept a series of notebooks to sketch out ideas for future works, record snatches of conversations and excerpts from books he was reading, and jot down his reflections on death and the horror of war, his feelings about women and loneliness and art, and his appreciations for the Algerian sun and sea. These three volumes, now available together for the first time in paperback, include all entries made from the time when Camus was still completely unknown in Europe, until he was killed in an automobile accident in 1960, at the height of his creative powers. In 1957 he had been awarded the Nobel Prize for Literature. A spiritual and intellectual autobiography, Camus' Notebooks are invariably more concerned with what he felt than with what he did. It is intriguing for the reader to watch him seize and develop certain themes and ideas, discard others that at first seemed promising, and explore different types of experience. Although the Notebooks may have served Camus as a practice ground, the prose is of superior quality, which makes a short spontaneous vignette or a moment of sensuous beauty quickly captured on the page a small work of art.Here is a record of one of the most unusual minds of our time.

Albert Camus (1913-1960) was a representative of non-metropolitan French literature. His origin in Algeria and his experiences there in the thirties were dominating influences in his thought and work. Of semi-proletarian parents, early attached to intellectual circles of strongly revolutionary tendencies, with a deep interest in philosophy (only chance prevented him from pursuing a university career in that field), he came to France at the age of twenty-five. The man and the times met: Camus joined the resistance movement during the occupation and after the liberation was a columnist for the newspaper Combat. But his journalistic activities had been chiefly a response to the demands of the time; in 1947 Camus retired from political journali

Albert Camus

Notebooks, 1942-1951

Notebooks 1942-1951

Empathy is feeling with people. There are four qualities of empathy:<ol><li>Perspective-taking - the ability to take the perspective of another person</li><li>Staying out of judgment </li><li>Recognising emotion in other people</li><li>Communicating back the emotion you see</li></ol>

Empathy 

Empathy is different to sympathy.  Empathy creates connection while sympathy drives connection. Empathy is climbing down to the other person's level and seeing the world from their perspective. Sympathy is viewing the person from your own perspective. An empathic response rarely starts with "At least..." to explore the "silver lining"."I had a miscarriage""At least you know you can get pregnant.""I think my marriage is falling apart.""At least you have a marriage."

Empathy vs sympathy

What is the best way to ease someone's pain and suffering? In this beautifully animated RSA Short, Dr Brené Brown reminds us that we can only create a genuine empathic connection if we are brave enough to really get in touch with our own fragilities. Voice: Dr Brené Brown Animation: Katy Davis (AKA Gobblynne) www.gobblynne.com Production and Editing: Al Francis-Sears and Abi Stephenson Watch Dr Brené Brown's full talk 'The Power of Vulnerability' here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sXSjc-pbXk4 Dr Brené Brown is a research professor and best-selling author of "Daring Greatly: How the Courage to be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent and Lead" (Penguin Portfolio, 2013). She has spent the past decade studying vulnerability, courage, worthiness, and shame. Donate to the RSA: https://utm.guru/udy0u Find out more about the RSA: http://www.thersa.org Follow the RSA on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/thersaorg Like the RSA on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/thersaorg

videos

Videos

What is the best way to ease someone's pain and suffering? In this beautifully animated RSA Short, Dr Brené Brown reminds us that we can only create a genuine empathic connection if we are brave enough to really get in touch with our own fragilities. 

Voice: Dr Brené Brown
Animation: Katy Davis (AKA Gobblynne) www.gobblynne.com
Production and Editing: Al Francis-Sears and Abi Stephenson 

Watch Dr Brené Brown's full talk 'The Power of Vulnerability' here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sXSjc-pbXk4 

Dr Brené Brown is a research professor and best-selling author of "Daring Greatly: How the Courage to be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent and Lead" (Penguin Portfolio, 2013).  
She has spent the past decade studying vulnerability, courage, worthiness, and shame. 

Donate to the RSA: https://utm.guru/udy0u

Find out more about the RSA: http://www.thersa.org 
Follow the RSA on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/thersaorg
Like the RSA on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/thersaorg

RSA YouTube: Inspiring talks. Award-winning animations.

We are the RSA. The royal society for arts, manufactures and commerce. We unite people and ideas in collective action to create opportunities to regenerate our world. 

We invite you to be part of our global network.    

Visit our website to find out more: www.theRSA.org  

Donate to the RSA: utm.guru/udy01  


Brené Brown on Empathy

Everything on earth has its own time and its own season.   Ecclesiastes 3:1.There are no shortcuts to maturity. The development of Christ like character cannot be rushed. While we worry about how fast we grow, God is concerned about how strong we grow.The bible says,"our lives gradually becoming brighter and more beautiful as God enters our lives and we become like him."So we often get this question, why does it take so long to become like Christ?There are many reasons for this .,Because he prefers to work in incremental steps in our lives.

It Takes Time

We are slow learners.We need repeat exposure.We have a lot to unlearn.Because bad habits didn't develop overnight,it's unrealistic to expect them to go away immediately.It requires the hardwork of removal and replacement. The bible calls it "taking off the old self and putting on the new self"We are afraid to humbly face the truth about ourselves.Only as God is allowed to shine the light of his truth on our faults, failures and hangups. Can we begin to work on them?This is why you cannot grow without a humble, teachable attitude.

Reasons

There's no growth without change, No change without fear or loss, and no loss without pain.You must let go of old ways in order to experience the New.The unconscious worry is that if I let go of my habit, my hurt,or my hang-up, who will I be ? This fear can definitely slow your growth.

Growth Is Painful And Scary

There's no growth without change, No change without fear or loss, and no loss without pain.You must let go of old ways in orderHabits take time to develop:A husband who is faithful to his wife most of the time is not faithful at all.There is only one way to develop the habits of Christ like character: you must practice them and that takes time.Repetition is the mother of character and skill.These character- building habits are often called "spiritual disciplines".

Habits Take Time To Develop

Believe God is working in your life even when you don't feel it .Keep a note book or journal the lessons learned.Review and remember them and pass them onto the next generation.Reviewing your spiritual journal regularly can spare you a lot of unnecessary pain and heartache.The Bible says "It's crucial that we keep a firm grip on what we've heard so that we don't drift off".Be patient with God and with yourself.You may feel frustrated with the seemingly slow progress you're making in life.He will use your entire life time to prepare for your role in eternity.

Don't Get In A Hurry

Don't get discouraged:"These things I plan won't happen right away.slowly, steadily, surely,the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow do not despair,for these things will surely come to pass. Just be patient! They will not be overdue a single day".

Don't Get Discouraged

We're often in a hurry when God isn't when it comes to our life. Rick Warren has explained this in his book very clearly that it takes time for everything to happen.

Offers spiritual fulfillment through an understanding of God's plan for a meaningful life.

religionandspirituality

Religion & Spirituality

The author of the popular "Purpose-Driven Church" uncovers seven essentials for understanding and fulfilling one's God-given life mission. (Christian Religion)

Richard Warren

The Purpose-driven Life

<ul><li>What is life but growth, i.e. expansion, love?</li><li>Therefore, all love is life, it is the only law of life; all selfishness is death, and this is true here or hereafter.</li><li>It is life to do good, it is death not to do good to others.</li></ul>

Help vs selfishness

<ul><li>Be not afraid, my children.</li><li>Look not up in that attitude of fear towards that infinite starry vault as if it would crush you.</li><li>Wait! In a few hours more, the whole of it will be under your feet.</li><li>Wait, money does not pay, nor name; fame does not pay, nor learning.</li><li>It is love that pays; it is character that cleaves its way through adamantine walls of difficulties.</li></ul>

Love will pave the way.

Those who are men and yet have no feeling in the heart for man, well, are such to be counted as men at all?

<ul><li>Duty is seldom sweet.</li><li>It is only when love greases its wheels that it runs smoothly; it is a continuous friction otherwise.</li><li>How else could parents do their duties to their children, husbands to their wives, and vice versa?</li><li>Do we not meet with cases of friction every day in our lives? Duty is sweet only through love.</li></ul>

Duty is sweet only through love.

<ul><li>Love never fails, my son; today or tomorrow or ages after, truth will conquer.</li><li>Love shall win the victory... Believe in the omnipotent power of love.</li><li>Who cares for these tinsel puffs of name?... Have you love? -- you are omnipotent.</li><li>Are you perfectly unselfish? If so, you are irresistible.</li></ul>

Love yourself to love your work.

<ul><li>A cannon-ball flying through the air goes a long distance and falls.</li><li>Another is cut short in its flight by striking against a wall, and the impact generates intense heat.</li><li>All outgoing energy following a selfish motive is frittered away; it will not cause power to return to you; but if restrained, it will result in development of power. This self-control will tend to produce a mighty will.</li></ul>

Passion with self-control will harness great will to do work.

<ul><li>Selfishness is the chief sin, thinking of ourselves first.</li><li>He who thinks, 'I will eat first, I will have more money than others, and I will possess everything'... is the selfish man.</li><li>The unselfish man says, 'I will be last... if by doing so I can help my brothers.'</li><li>This unselfishness is the test of religion. He who has more of his unselfishness is more spiritual.</li></ul>

If your needs are met, help others, selfishness is bad philosophy.

The degree of unselfishness marks the degree of success everywhere.

<ul><li>Unselfishness is more paying, only people have not the patience to practise it.</li><li>It is more paying from the point of view of health also.</li><li>Love, truth and unselfishness are not merely moral figures of speech, but they form our highest ideal, because in them lies such a manifestation of power.</li></ul>

Unselfishness helps you more than selfishness.

Life is ever expanding, contraction is death.The self-seeking man who is looking after his personal comforts and leading a lazy life- there is no room for him even in hell.

<ul><li>He who sees Shiva in the poor, in the weak, and in the diseased, really worships Shiva;</li><li>and if he sees Shiva only in the image, his worship is but preliminary.</li><li>He who has served and helped one poor man seeing Shiva in him, without thinking of his caste, or creed, or race, or anything,</li><li>with him Shiva is more pleased than with the man who sees Him only in temples.</li></ul>

I See God in People who need help of my strength.

Do you love your fellow men? Where should you go to seek for God - are not all the poor, the miserable, the weak, Gods? Why not worship them first?

Do not pity the dead, Harry, pity the living. And above all, those who live without love. - Albus Dumbledore

philosophy

Philosophy

Love and Unselfishness by Vivekananda

We blush when we’ve admitted the uncomfortable possibility of having offended, inconvenienced, or misled someone. This discomfort is a sign of our disdain for personal arrogance; we hold ourselves—sometimes seemingly against our will—to the standards of honesty & humility.

The Blush- When & Why 

We recognize our ability to annoy & harm others in the absence of self-awareness. The underlying questions behind a blush, such as “Does the person with whom I’m infatuated feel the same?” kindly consider the independence of others, & the profound reality of uncertainty.

The Good Of Blushing 

Perhaps the person who never blushes is worse-off: so certain of everything as to think and act arrogantly, with entitlement & a disregard for self-awareness— particularly of one’s own power to affect others through words and actions.

The Non-Blusher 

You shouldn’t feel so fearful & unforgiving of yourself that your every word & action is up to your own critical scrutiny. Self-awareness pairs well with confidence— sociability with humbleness, & kindness with self-respect.

Striking A Balance 

The uncomfortable blood pressure spike & reddening of the face is perhaps not such a misfortune, after all. 

Read our article - In Praise of Blushing. The School Of Life has a huge collection of interesting articles, read now.

problemsolving

Problem Solving

communication

Communication

In Praise of Blushing - The School Of Life

Past research tells us a lot about how we respond to a stranger's unethical behavior, but very little about how we respond when the perpetrator is someone we care deeply about.When someone close to us behaves unethically, we face a conflict between upholding our moral values and maintaining our relationship.

Morals Or Relationships? The Conflict That Inspired The Study

When confronted with unethical actions, participants reacted more leniently to close others, reporting less anger and disgust toward them, rating them as less unethical, and reporting less of a desire to punish or criticize them compared to strangers. Interestingly, participants also reported only a minimal impact on their relationship with those close others.

We Bend Our Morals So As To Not Break Our Relationships

However, at the same time, participants also exhibited harsher responses towards themselves, such as greater embarrassment, shame, and guilt and sometimes even lower ratings of their own morality when close others compared to strangers transgressed.

But By Bending Our Morals We Make Ourselves Feel Bent

The most interesting finding of the study is the deep ambivalence we find when people respond to close others' unethical actions. There is a surprising irony in people's responses, that by protecting close others, the self seems to bear some of the burden of their misbehavior. We seem to maintain our relationships with unethical close others by reacting leniently, but our moral values still lead us to still feel embarrassed, ashamed, and guilty about their actions.

A Burden (We Feel) We Want To Share And Carry, But Really Can’t

People place great value on their close relationships. People are committed to their loved ones, have investments in their relationships, and rely on their close others to fulfill fundamental needs.However, people also care deeply about being moral. Most individuals internalize the desire to be a good person and avoid contact, let alone connection, to another unethical person.

Why Do We Become The Rope In This Tug-Of-War?

If our loved ones behave in a way that violates our moral values, what do we do? One option to maintain our moral values is to distance ourselves from close others who transgress by exiting the relationship, but given our reliance on those we care about, this is extremely costly. It is far less costly, and preferable, to avoid seeing a close other negatively even in the face of their bad behavior. Leniency allows us to maintain our relationships.

Why Are We Lenient To Those Close To Us?

When judging a close others' bad behavior, we tend to view the act itself as less unethical.For instance, people judge the unethical act of putting a bar bill on someone else's hotel tab as less unethical if it's committed by a romantic partner or friend compared to if it was committed by a stranger. By viewing the act itself as less bad, we're in turn able to perceive our close others less negatively, maintaining our relationship.

We Judge The Deed According To The Doer And Then Both Separately

The study also finds some evidence that people tend to attribute close others' bad behavior more to situational factors (e.g., "He was so drunk that he was not thinking clearly") rather than internal, trait-based factors (e.g., "He is vindictive and petty") compared to a stranger's bad behavior where we find the opposite. Attributing bad behavior to the situation again allows us to view our close others in a more positive light.

“It Was The Situation, Not The Person”

Despite responding more leniently towards close others who transgress, people felt worse about themselves when people they love misbehave by feeling embarrassed, ashamed, and guilty. This finding is anticipated by the research on moral contagion.The study finds evidence that having a connection to the perpetrator, through a close bond, may enhance the sense that a close other's bad behavior somehow reflects upon you.

Contracting Immorality And Looking It

For example, if a person finds out their romantic partner spread an untrue rumor about one of their coworkers, they tend to feel guilty and ashamed of the behavior, even though they didn't do anything wrong themselves. This is likely due to the shared sense of identity we have with those we care about and therefore we feel partially at fault when they behave badly.

“I Am Part Of You, Therefore I Am Involved In Your Actions”

We are grappling with a dilemma that so many people have faced these past few weeks: How do you reconcile your love for someone with the revelation that they have behaved badly?The ambivalence we feel when confronted with close others' bad behavior is difficult to reconcile. When faced with a loved ones' unethical behavior, it's important to reflect on our moral values and whether the act itself fits within those values.

Α Question To Ask Ourselves: Does This Act Fit (With) Me?

A new study investigates why we might be too easy on our loved ones' (and too harsh on ourselves) when they indulge in unethical behavior. Psychologist Rachel Forbes, the author of the paper, discusses how we behave when the ones we love misbehave.


Psychologist Rachel Forbes discusses how we behave when the ones we love misbehave.


Do We Let Our Loved Ones Off The Hook Too Easily?


When is it ok to say "this isn't really working for me anymore"?We as humans shed our needs constantly, and relationships are no different.Friendships, be they short or long, are woven in and out of the fabric of our lives on this earth.No friendship should be transactional, conditional, or hallow. If you don't know where you stand with a friend, it's time to leave.

The Time To Let Go Of A Friend

After spending time with a friend, do you feel whole, loving, *energized*, and informed? Legit HAPPY? Well, great! You have a good friend who is filling your soul! Make sure you’re checking in on them as much as they do for you—they are gem humans with insight and empathy, and they deserve that same energy back from the people in their lives.It’s a huge red flag, and time to set boundaries with that person—or, soon enough, leave the friendship altogether—when your friend doesn’t have the same capacity for you; when you feel depleted after spending time with them.

When You Aren’t Replenished by What You Put Into Your Friendship

Whether it’s a committed relationship, having a baby, a change in job location, the fact that one of you is sobering up, interests change (see above); these are the things every adult struggles with when they have a longstanding friendship. For the sake of your new life, you *must* cut off the people who aren’t supporting you through those beautiful but difficult transitions. You owe it to yourself to be your favourite person if they aren’t equipped to be.

When Milestones Drift You Apart

If you don’t know where you stand with a friend, it’s time to leave. Walls are built up and it is not your job to break them down.Just because you’ve invested time in a friendship doesn’t mean you must stay to see it through—gone are the days we say that for romantic relationships; we shouldn’t say it for friendships, either.If you have someone in your life who you want to let go of so they can grow (and so you can, too), leaving them to do just that is a gift. It can lead you to a little diner—out from the cold, and into the warmth of a new friendship.

When You Don’t Feel the Partnership Is Equal

What happens when you need to let go of a friend? When is it ok to say “this isn’t really working for me anymore”? Have you thought about friend breakups as much as I have in adulthood? To me—a person in a committed, monogamous relationship—this is as close as I’ve come to dating in a while, and it’s just as difficult to navigate.

Decluttering Friendships: When Is It Time to Let Go?

Dale Carnegie's book has sold over thirty million copies, and nearly a century later it still sells more than a quarter-million copies each year.He encourages people to listen, be interested in others, speak to them from their point of view, sincerely flatter others, seek similarity, avoid conflict, and many other things that seem obvious, but that we all routinely forget to do.However, his methods can be manipulative and lead to shallow friendships.

Friendship: How to Win Friends and Influence People

We don't want awful people to exploit our weaknesses, but the irony is that our weaknesses are where trust comes fromHow do you signal you're trustworthy? By trusting someone else.<ul><li>Vulnerability tells people they're part of an exclusive club.</li><li>Not only is vulnerability effective, but it's also not quite as dangerous as you think.</li><li>Psychology has documented the "beautiful mess effect"-that we consistently overestimate how negatively our errors will be perceived.</li><li>The occasional screw-up is a positive.</li></ul>

The Answer: Being Vulnerable

As long as you feel emotionally safe and you're getting a positive reception, share more.<ul><li>Not being vulnerable kills friendships.</li><li>Not opening up prolongs minor illnesses, increases the likelihood of a first heart attack, and doubles the chance it being lethal.</li></ul>

If It Feels Uncomfortable And Scary, Say It

Make the time, vulnerably share your thoughts, and raise the stakes.<ul><li>If all goes well, they do the same.</li><li>With trust established, we can ignore costs to a greater degree, as can they.</li><li>If they are a true friend, it will feel natural to help them when they are in need.</li></ul>

The Bottom Line

Friendship took a real beating during the pandemic. So how to we get closer to our friends and make new ones? Here's what science says...

This Is How To Make Emotionally Intelligent Friendships: 2 Secrets From Research - Barking Up The Wrong Tree

I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.Most people had not honoured even half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.


1. Courage to live your life 

2.  wish I hadn't worked so hard. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming.

3. I had courage to express my feelings.

Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved.

4. I wished to stay in touch with my friends.

The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again."

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

Revised edition of the best-selling memoir that has been read by over a million people worldwide with translations in 29 languages. After too many years of unfulfilling work, Bronnie Ware began searching for a job with heart. Despite having no formal qualifications or previous experience in the field, she found herself working in palliative care. During the time she spent tending to those who were dying, Bronnie's life was transformed. Later, she wrote an Internet blog post, outlining the most common regrets that the people she had cared for had expressed. The post gained so much momentum that it was viewed by more than three million readers worldwide in its first year. At the request of many, Bronnie subsequently wrote a book, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, to share her story. Bronnie has had a colourful and diverse life. By applying the lessons of those nearing their death to her own life, she developed an understanding that it is possible for everyone, if we make the right choices, to die with peace of mind. In this revised edition of the best-selling memoir that has been read by over a million people worldwide, with translations in 29 languages, Bronnie expresses how significant these regrets are and how we can positively address these issues while we still have the time. The Top Five Regrets of the Dying gives hope for a better world. It is a courageous, life-changing book that will leave you feeling more compassionate and inspired to live the life you are truly here to live.

parenting

Parenting

leadershipandmanagement

Leadership & Management

Revised edition of the best-selling memoir that has been read by over a million people worldwide with translations in 29 languages. After too many years of unfulfilling work, Bronnie Ware began searching for a job with heart. Despite having no formal qualifications or previous experience in the field, she found herself working in palliative care. During the time she spent tending to those who were dying, Bronnie's life was transformed. Later, she wrote an Internet blog post, outlining the most common regrets that the people she had cared for had expressed. The post gained so much momentum that it was viewed by more than three million readers worldwide in its first year. At the request of many, Bronnie subsequently wrote a book, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, to share her story. Bronnie has had a colourful and diverse life. By applying the lessons of those nearing their death to her own life, she developed an understanding that it is possible for everyone, if we make the right choices, to die with peace of mind. In this revised edition of the best-selling memoir that has been read by over a million people worldwide, with translations in 29 languages, Bronnie expresses how significant these regrets are and how we can positively address these issues while we still have the time. The Top Five Regrets of the Dying gives hope for a better world. It is a courageous, life-changing book that will leave you feeling more compassionate and inspired to live the life you are truly here to live.

Bronnie Ware

Top Five Regrets of the Dying

Depending on how we answer whether someone likes us or not, we will either take steps to deepen the friendship or make moves to withdraw to spare ourselves humiliation and embarrassment. We assume that the other person must settle this, and we can do nothing to shift the verdict. However, we fail to realise that we often don't know what we think of other people. What usually helps us decide what someone means to us is our sense of what we mean to them.

We want to know whether or not someone likes us

The possibility of friendship often hangs in the balance because both sides are quietly waiting for a sign of whether they are liked before they dare to show any enthusiasm.  Most of it depends on how we behave towards them. We have every opportunity to persuade them to see us in a positive light by showing them that we see them in a positive light.

See people in a positive light

How we can show charm:<ul><li>We can remember small things about the other person.</li><li>Show interest in what they have been up to</li><li>Laugh at their witty comments</li><li>Sympathise with them about their sorrows</li></ul> Once you have carried out this set of techniques, you have to be highly unlucky to talk to people who show no interest in a friendship.

Use the full range of techniques for charm

Friendship cannot develop unless one side is willing to show they are ready to like when there is no evidence of being liked back. Whether or not the person likes us will depend on what we do, not on what we are by nature. They may initially look a little distracted and behave in an off-hand way, but if we keep showing them warmth and encouragement to help them overcome their self-suspicion, the barriers will eventually come down.

Friendship requires risk

Strategies to meet new people and reconnect with old friends

How To Make Friends As An Adult

We spend an inordinate amount of time concentrating on the question of whether or not we are liked. It would be a great deal wiser to put our energy into actually proving likeable and persuading our audience of our affection for them. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2LayJ9F For gifts and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/2RQW2sV Our website has classes, articles and products to help you think and grow: https://bit.ly/2JYouWR 2DAODLd FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/2JXaFrX “One of the most acute questions we ask ourselves in relation to new friends and acquaintances is whether or not they like us. The question feels so significant because, depending on how we answer it in our minds, we will either take steps to deepen the friendship or, as is often the case, immediately make moves to withdraw from it so as to spare ourselves humiliation and embarrassment.” MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE Visit us in person at our London HQ: https://bit.ly/2T7u1yP Watch more films on SELF in our playlist: http://bit.ly/TSOLself You can submit translations and transcripts on all of our videos here: https://www.youtube.com/timedtext_cs_panel?c=UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog&tab=2 Find out how more here: https://support.google.com/youtube/answer/6054623?hl=en-GB SOCIAL MEDIA Feel free to follow us at the links below: Download our App: https://www.theschooloflife.com/app-2/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theschooloflifelondon/ CREDITS Produced in collaboration with: Nick Hilditch https://nickhilditch.com/

We spend an inordinate amount of time concentrating on the question of whether or not we are liked. It would be a great deal wiser to put our energy into actually proving likeable and persuading our audience of our affection for them.
Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2LayJ9F
For gifts and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/2RQW2sV
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2DAODLd

FURTHER READING

You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/2JXaFrX

“One of the most acute questions we ask ourselves in relation to new friends and acquaintances is whether or not they like us. The question feels so significant because, depending on how we answer it in our minds, we will either take steps to deepen the friendship or, as is often the case, immediately make moves to withdraw from it so as to spare ourselves humiliation and embarrassment.”


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