<ul><li class="ql-indent-1"> There are four habits that show you how to have successful relationships: 1- Be curious, not critical. 2 - Be careful, not crushing. 3 - Ask, don't assume. 4 - Connect before you correct.</li><li class="ql-indent-1">Manage the Emotional Bank Account. This is important to create the foundation for successful relationships. If you make more withdrawals than deposits your relationship will struggle. Keep a healthy balance.</li><li class="ql-indent-1">You can explore relationships on two dimensions. Motivation - How motivated are you to maintain and improve this relationship? Ability - How able are you to maintain and improve this relationship?</li></ul>

The Three Big Ideas

Great relationships don’t just happen – they are built on purpose.

Focus on building Relationship Intelligence, not only Emotional Intelligence:Relational Intelligence – our ability to connect, and stay connected, with the people around us.Emotional Intelligence - awakening (or improving) our ability to handle our own emotions and how they impact the people around us.

How To Have Successful Relationships: The Big Ideas Expanded

This habit is all about developing our self-awareness (and other-awareness!) through understanding fundamental differences, learning to give each other ‘space and grace’ to shine in our own strengths, and overcoming the frustration of unmet expectations.

Habit #1: BE CURIOUS, not critical

This one is all about self-management, building strong skills in managing conflict, learning to treat each other well no matter how heated the argument, and working toward genuine resolutions so that relationships are strengthened not damaged through conflict.

Habit #2: BE CAREFUL, not crushing

This habit is all about developing the social skills to build mutual trust and respect in relationships by clarifying values, having courageous conversations about things that really matter to us when necessary and overcoming the hurdles of mistrust and distance that can creep into relationships.

Habit #3: ASK, don’t assume

This one is all about learning to build great rapport, warmth and connection in relationships by consistently communicating appreciation and love in meaningful ways and overcoming the hurdle of feeling unvalued because of poor communication.

Habit #4: CONNECT, before you correct

<ul><li>Successful relationships are built upon a healthy emotional bank account.</li><li>You need to be aware of the behaviours that make deposits or withdrawals from the bank account. </li><li>When you have the balance right it creates a healthy foundation for good relationships.</li><li>If you have a challenging relationship focus on topping up the emotional bank account first.</li></ul>When the bank account is low you need to ask this fundamental question:‘Do I really care enough to put in the effort to maintain or improve this relationship?’

Manage the Emotional Bank Account

The status of your relationships can be viewed from two dimensions: <ul><li>Motivation: How motivated are you to maintain or improve this relationship?</li><li>Ability: How able are you to maintain or improve this relationship?</li></ul>

Successful Relationship Quadrant

Most healthy relationships go through cycles between Mutual Satisfaction and Frustration from time to time, which is all perfectly fine as long as you keep learning and improving your understanding of each other and don’t get stuck or set up camp in the Frustration zone.

Mutual Satisfaction and Frustration

In Desperation, the oxygen in the relationship is running out and typically people are ill-equipped to breathe life back in again, on their own. Desperation is toxic. Differences are misunderstood, needs are mostly unmet, and the likely experience is one of tension, frequent conflicts and an unending cycle of unmet expectations followed by disappointment, followed by negative reactions on either side, causing the relationship to spiral downwards.

Desperation

The Isolation quadrant is a place where no one wins. People ‘check out’ physically and/or mentally. They leave companies. They leave families. They leave friendships.

Isolation 

<ul><li>Commitment to ongoing efforts in building your understanding of each other.</li><li>Being more understanding in your responses.</li><li>Choosing to act and show appreciation in meaningful, specific ways.</li></ul>

The Heart of Successful Relationships

Successful relationships take work and wisdom. TEDx speakers, Jon and Andrea Taylor-Cummings share the four habits demonstrated by every successful relationship. By learning the principles and techniques that underpin these 4 habits, we can all change our behaviours from habits that damage relationships to habits that strengthen them, on purpose.

career

Career

habits

Habits

communication

Communication

loveandrelationships

Love & Relationships

books

Books

The quality of our relationships impacts just about everything that really matters most. They impact how we "show up" and what we are able to achieve - at home, at work and in life. They impact our health and wellbeing, and ultimately, they determine the quality of our very lives. But successful relationships don't just happen automatically. They take work. The problem is, often we have no idea what to work on! Every relationship faces hurdles. Our different views, opinions and approaches as individuals mean we have different expectations and when those expectations are not met, we feel frustrated and disappointed. Unaddressed and repeated over time, this frustration leads to broken relationships, broken homes and broken people. So many relationships lose out because we are not equipped to do relationships well before problems arise... until now. Based on over 25 years of working in relationship education, in this book, Dr. Andrea & Jon Taylor-Cummings share four fundamental habits that often distinguish between successful and unsuccessful relationships. Every successful relationship displays them and every failing relationship is missing at least one. By learning the principles, tools and techniques that underpin The 4 Habits(c) we can all change our behaviours from habits that damage relationships to habits that strengthen them, on purpose. This means we can all learn to "show up" better, have better conversations and achieve better outcomes in ALL our relationships - with our partners, children, colleagues, friends, everyone! These four habits are so fundamental to all relationships that they continue to resonate around the world through their TEDx Talk, which now has in excess of 1.8 million views: - Habit #1 - BE CURIOUS, not critical is about developing our self-awareness (and other-awareness!) through understanding fundamental differences, giving each other "space and grace" to shine in our own strengths and overcome the frustration of unmet expectations. - Habit #2 - BE CAREFUL, not crushing is about building strong skills in managing conflict, learning to treat each other well no matter how heated the argument, and working towards genuine resolutions so that relationships are strengthened not damaged through conflict. - Habit #3 - ASK, don't assume is about learning to build mutual trust and respect in relationships by clarifying values and having courageous conversations about things that really matter to us when necessary, overcoming the hurdles of mistrust and distance that can creep into relationships. - Habit #4 - CONNECT, before you correct is about learning to build great rapport, warmth and connection in relationships by consistently communicating appreciation and love in meaningful ways, and to overcome the hurdle of feeling unvalued because of poor communication. Together The 4 Habits provide the practical "how to" for building Emotional Intelligence in general, and Relational Intelligence in particular. When we are each equipped with the skills to do relationships well, we turn up as better versions of ourselves. Our marriages and partnerships are strengthened, our children flourish, our organisations and communities thrive, and our nations grow in health. We can and we must all become intentional about learning to do relationships well, as if our lives depended on it. Because, in reality, they do.

Jonathan Taylor-Cummings

Andrea Taylor-Cummings

The 4 Habits of All Successful Relationships

The older I get, the easier it is to close my eyes to poverty, pain, injustice, and evil. I can order my life, so that I am never put in a position of seeing anything unpleasant. I can look without seeing. I’m continue to pray daily that “God gives me eyes to see and ears to hear.” You can’t be a change agent if you don’t perceive the needs around you.

Stop ignoring the evil you encounter

Every time I used to encounter a homeless person, I would go through all kinds of mental gyrations. If I give money to this person, will they just use it to buy alcohol or drugs? Why don’t they just get a job? Maybe it would be better if I offered them some work rather than just give them money? Then I read the words of Matthew 5:42, “Give to him who asks you, and from him who wants to borrow from you do not turn away.” I then decided to make a deal with God. Now, whenever I encounter a homeless person or a beggar, I give them all the cash in my pocket. The money I give is my gift to God.

Stop over-thinking your response to it.

Erin couldn’t get the school to give books to her students. So, she got a second job and bought the books herself. The students wanted to bring Miep Gies, the Dutch woman whose family hid Anne Frank and her family, to the school to lecture. The school didn’t have the budget, so the students held a series of fund-raisers to come up with the money.What’s my excuse? No matter what my station in life is, it’s easy to think I don’t have enough resources. Resources are never the problem. The biggest challenge is simply my will to act.

Stop complaining about your lack of resources.

Let’s face it. The world needs heroes. It needs people who will be courageous and act on principle. But where can we find such people? Maybe the answer is closer than we think. The truth is it can start—and must start—with us.God has providentially put each of us exactly where we are. We need to ask, “Why am I here?” “What does God want me to do in this situation?” “What is the right thing to do?”

Start asking, “What is the right thing to do?”

I can’t afford to wait for my circumstances to be perfect. I will never have enough experience. I will never have the resources I need. I need to stop whining and just do it! Someone else is waiting for a hero. I may be the best opportunity they have. I may be their answer to prayer.

Be in the moment and act.

You have more power than you can imagine.

You have have more power than you sometimes give yourself credit for. Here are five ways to express it and become an everyday hero.

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

motivationandinspiration

Motivation & Inspiration

problemsolving

Problem Solving

5 Ways You Can Be an Everyday Hero

<ul><li>Talkative girls and silent boys make the best couples.</li><li>Being loved back by a person you love exactly feels like having butterflies in the stomach.</li><li>Most of the time boys make the first move. But, if a girl does it then, believe me, no one can love you more than that girl.</li><li>Men love faster than Women.</li><li>Seeing a loved one automatically can raise your heart beat faster.</li><li>Most of the people can't make eye contact with their crush.</li></ul>

Some psychological facts about love are: 

<ul><li>Some people can't bear the loss of beloved ones and eventually die after a few months and years due to mental or physical illness.</li><li>The more you ignore the one you like the more you will fall for them.</li><li>Heartbreak after true love is equally painful as physical pain.</li></ul>

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

Some psychological facts about love: 

Projection is a psychological term for how we tend to put our own issues onto other people.Often the thing that frustrates us the most about other people is indicative of a part of us we haven't accepted yet.

Work on Your Projections

First, find your projections by making a list of how you judge someone else. Don't sugarcoat or overexplain: "I judge [person] as [judgement]."

Find your projections

Take a deep look at how that judgement applies to you. Say to yourself: "I can see and accept that I can be [judgement] too, and that's okay."

Transfer the judgement to yourself

Set intentions going forward that you will accept this part of yourself but also take steps to make healthier choices that are grounded in self-compassion and respect.

Set new intentions

You Don't Owe Anyone is for perfectionists, workaholics, people pleasers, and strivers who feel stuck in the try-hard cycle. Sharing her experiences as a life coach and recovering perfectionist, Caroline Garnet McGraw shows us how we can free ourselves from the weight of expectations and encourages us to move our lives forward without apology. Inspired by the author's viral essay "You Don't Owe Anyone an Interaction," this book invites us to make surprising choices that can help us get unstuck. Rather than offering more ways to effect change through sheer effort, these personal stories serve as a compassionate witness, a reflection of our own perfectionistic tendencies. They also are a wakeup call jolting us out of our martyr mentality and inspiring us to move in new, positive directions. Through simple, accessible coaching practices, You Don't Owe Anyone shows us what it looks like to refuse to over-function in the old ways. It invites us to make the same surprising choices that have helped McGraw and her clients move past perfectionism, empowering us to quiet our fears and heal our hearts.

You Don't Owe Anyone is for perfectionists, workaholics, people pleasers, and strivers who feel stuck in the try-hard cycle. Sharing her experiences as a life coach and recovering perfectionist, Caroline Garnet McGraw shows us how we can free ourselves from the weight of expectations and encourages us to move our lives forward without apology. Inspired by the author's viral essay &quot;You Don't Owe Anyone an Interaction,&quot; this book invites us to make surprising choices that can help us get unstuck. Rather than offering more ways to effect change through sheer effort, these personal stories serve as a compassionate witness, a reflection of our own perfectionistic tendencies. They also are a wakeup call jolting us out of our martyr mentality and inspiring us to move in new, positive directions. Through simple, accessible coaching practices, You Don't Owe Anyone shows us what it looks like to refuse to over-function in the old ways. It invites us to make the same surprising choices that have helped McGraw and her clients move past perfectionism, empowering us to quiet our fears and heal our hearts.

Caroline Garnet McGraw

You Don't Owe Anyone

True beauty comes from within.It’s about being kind to others and not only thinking about yourself.

Inner Beauty > Outer Beauty 

Belle inspires us to learn something new everyday. We dont have to be in school to study and learn, we’ll always be curious, and we’ll always be reading.

Never Stop Learning

Whether it’s an enchanted rose, a mirror that can show you whatever you ask it to, or even the act of falling in love, magic is out there and it’s pretty great 👍

Believe in Magic 

A Chipped Cup Can be Better Than a Perfect One 

The Beast looks intimidating and scary, but once Belle takes the time to get to know him, it’s clear that his rough exterior is just a facade.He’s actually really kind and gentle and just needed someone to give him a chance to show it.

Look Beyond What You S👀

Ultimately love wins the day.

Love is Stronger Than Hate

Sometimes all you need to feel better is a warm cup of tea (a heart-to-heart with Mrs. Potts doesn’t hurt either.)

Tea Heals All 

Life can be scary, but pushing yourself out of your comfort zone makes you a better person.

Don’t Let Your Fears Get in the Way of New Experiences 

Your happy ending will start when you least expect it.

Your Happily Ever After Might Not Look Like One Right Away 

Nothing is as perfect as it seems. And sometimes that’s difficult to accept.

Every Rose Has its Thorns 

Standing out because you’re not like everyone else isn’t a bad thing. Embrace what makes you different, because it’s also what makes you special.

Dare to be Different 

"How can you read this? There's no pictures!" "Well, some people use their imagination."

“He’s no monster, Gaston; you are!”

“Think of the one thing that you’ve always wanted. Now find it in your mind’s eye and feel it in your heart.”

“Master, we all understand how you feel about Christmas. But when a woman gives a man a gift, she’s saying, “I care about you.”

“The people think I’m odd. So, I know how it feels to be…different. And I know how lonely that can be.”

“Now I know she’ll never leave me, even as she fades from viewShe will still inspire me, be a part of everything I doWasting in my lonely tower, waiting by an open doorI’ll fool myself, she’ll walk right in, and as the long long nights begin, I’ll think of all that might have beenWaiting here forevermore…”

“I let her go… Because I love her.”

“You take me as your prisoner, and now you want to have dinner with me? Are you insane?”

movies

Movies & Shows

entertainment

Entertainment

11 Life Lessons from Beauty and the Beast

There are generally two kinds of people in your life: those that comfort you, and those that help you grow. You may get lucky and have a few friends that are both, but most people fall into one group or another.

Comfort and growth come from different people

“We find comfort among those who agree with us, and growth among those who don’t.”

First, it’s how people respond to bad decisions you make. Some will help comfort or justify the decision you made, while others will be a bit more straightforward about it. Many politicians and leaders have too many people on the comfort side that say “yes” too often, and not enough challengers to push them forward.

Bad Decisions

Second, it’s how people’s opinions help shape you. I’ve talked before about <a href="https://www.mickmel.com/seeing-both-sides-of-the-aisle/">some of my friends that are able to see both sides of the aisle politically</a>, and the advantages that this brings. I try to be very intentional about listening to my friends with whom I disagree about something, as that’s the best place to find growth.

Shaped By Opinions

It can be a tough thing to balance, particularly from the growth mindset. If someone makes a bad decision, piling on with “advice” isn’t likely to do much good, but neither is justifying the mistake that was made. Understanding and unpacking why the decision was made is likely to be more helpful to everyone involved.

There are generally two kinds of people in your life: those that comfort you, and those that help you grow. You may get lucky and have a few friends that are both, but most people fall into one group or another. Frank A. Clark put it this way: "We find…

People who pursue ideas, who have a form of intelectual curiosity (especially in a digital world) are classified as either nerds or geeks. But the 2 can be separated based on their production capability:- a geek can be a programmer who writes useful code, thus being productive & useful somehow- a nerd is interested in 14th century poetry just for the hell of it, not producing anything useful for others.A dork is someone with no intelectual curiosity and no production capabilities.

Geeks, Nerds .... and Dorks

Everybody has a dream, but nobody has a plan!

John Donovan, author of "The way of man", says masculinity is a combination of 4 traits: honour, strength, courage & mastery. Vincent Harinam proposes a similar triad:<ol><li>Courage: being afraid of doing something but doing it anyway</li><li>Personal Responsibility, verging on extreme ownership: taking responsibility for not only your problems but group and family also.</li><li>Conquest: having a goal bigger than yourself</li></ol>All of the above are based on the meta-skill of emotional control. Does not matter how you feel when you get up in the morning .... there is a job to be done, and real men do it.

What does it mean to be a man?

Is a term coined by Vincent Harinam to describe the perfect man: one that has dark triad characteristics but that is also benevolent. It's a contradictory definition, aiming for a unity of contradictions.The Dark Triad is made up of three traits: Machiavellianism, Narcissism and Psychopathy. They sound negative but it's men with these characteristics that are considered sexy & interesting. A dark gentleman will balance out these attributes with a benevolent triad: Parental Investment, Protection and Provision (providing the goods and making decisions).

Dark Gentleman

Interesting perspectives about what it means to be a man

Vincent Harinam is a data scientist, law enforcement consultant and writer on social phenomenon and the dating market. Between Tinder and OnlyFans, polyamory and Red Pill, incels, simps, sugar daddies and gold diggers, it's difficult to say that romance is alive and well in modern culture. Vincent has written some of the best articles and done huge deep data dives to uncover why the modern dating market is such a mess. Expect to learn why smart women are less likely to get married, why simping is such an unsuccessful dating strategy, how women's modern dating advice is mostly total trash, what Vincent's data uncovered around what women and men look for in a partner, how asymmetries in the dating market can create men who are dangerous for public safety and much more... Sponsors: Join the Modern Wisdom Community to connect with me & other listeners - https://modernwisdom.locals.com/ Get a $5 discount on Magic Spoon’s amazing cereal at https://magicspoon.com/modernwisdom (use code MODERNWISDOM) Get 5 days unlimited access to Shortform for free at https://www.shortform.com/modernwisdom (discount automatically applied) Get 5 Free Travel Packs, Free Liquid Vitamin D and Free Shipping from Athletic Greens at https://athleticgreens.com/modernwisdom (discount automatically applied) Extra Stuff: Check out Vincent's articles - https://quillette.com/author/vincent-harinam/ Get my free Reading List of 100 books to read before you die → https://chriswillx.com/books/ To support me on Patreon (thank you): https://www.patreon.com/modernwisdom #dating #redpill #tinder - 00:00 Intro 00:24 Vincent’s Incredible Writing 04:45 Why Simping Doesn’t Work 10:26 What Does it Mean to be a Man? 16:48 Defining ‘Dark Gentlemen’ 25:50 Why More Men are Single than Women 34:27 Impact of Eugenics in Dating 41:32 Reality of the Gender Wage-gap 47:50 How Casual Sex Misinforms Long-term Relationship Goals 54:09 Should Humanity Return to Polygamy? 1:01:40 The Disney-fication of Relationships 1:14:06 Can Female Competency Be Detrimental in Dating? 1:18:06 Should We Take Marriage More Seriously? 1:24:12 Dealing with Fringe Groups in Society 1:29:13 Where to Find Vincent - Join the Modern Wisdom Community on Locals - https://modernwisdom.locals.com/ Listen to all episodes on audio: Apple Podcasts: https://apple.co/2MNqIgw Spotify: https://spoti.fi/2LSimPn - Get in touch in the comments below or head to... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chriswillx Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/chriswillx Email: https://chriswillx.com/contact/

Vincent Harinam is a data scientist, law enforcement consultant and writer on social phenomenon and the dating market.

Between Tinder and OnlyFans, polyamory and Red Pill, incels, simps, sugar daddies and gold diggers, it's difficult to say that romance is alive and well in modern culture. Vincent has written some of the best articles and done huge deep data dives to uncover why the modern dating market is such a mess.

Expect to learn why smart women are less likely to get married, why simping is such an unsuccessful dating strategy, how women's modern dating advice is mostly total trash, what Vincent's data uncovered around what women and men look for in a partner, how asymmetries in the dating market can create men who are dangerous for public safety and much more...

Sponsors:
Join the Modern Wisdom Community to connect with me & other listeners - https://modernwisdom.locals.com/

Get a $5 discount on Magic Spoon’s amazing cereal at https://magicspoon.com/modernwisdom (use code MODERNWISDOM)

Get 5 days unlimited access to Shortform for free at https://www.shortform.com/modernwisdom (discount automatically applied)

Get 5 Free Travel Packs, Free Liquid Vitamin D and Free Shipping from Athletic Greens at https://athleticgreens.com/modernwisdom (discount automatically applied)

Extra Stuff:
Check out Vincent's articles - https://quillette.com/author/vincent-harinam/ 
Get my free Reading List of 100 books to read before you die → https://chriswillx.com/books/
To support me on Patreon (thank you): https://www.patreon.com/modernwisdom

#dating #redpill #tinder

-

00:00 Intro
00:24 Vincent’s Incredible Writing
04:45 Why Simping Doesn’t Work
10:26 What Does it Mean to be a Man?
16:48 Defining ‘Dark Gentlemen’
25:50 Why More Men are Single than Women
34:27 Impact of Eugenics in Dating
41:32 Reality of the Gender Wage-gap
47:50 How Casual Sex Misinforms Long-term Relationship Goals
54:09 Should Humanity Return to Polygamy?
1:01:40 The Disney-fication of Relationships 
1:14:06 Can Female Competency Be Detrimental in Dating? 
1:18:06 Should We Take Marriage More Seriously?
1:24:12 Dealing with Fringe Groups in Society
1:29:13 Where to Find Vincent

-

Join the Modern Wisdom Community on Locals - https://modernwisdom.locals.com/

Listen to all episodes on audio:
Apple Podcasts: https://apple.co/2MNqIgw
Spotify: https://spoti.fi/2LSimPn

-

Get in touch in the comments below or head to...
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chriswillx 
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/chriswillx
Email: https://chriswillx.com/contact/

Bonjour I'm Chris, Host of the Modern Wisdom Podcast. Understanding the world is hard, this channel should help.

Chris Williamson

Why Is The Modern Dating Market A Mess? - Vincent Harinam | Modern Wisdom Podcast 410

Vincent Harinam on manhood

Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.

1294 quotes from Lao Tzu: 'Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.', 'Simplicity, patience, compassion.
These three are your greatest treasures.
Simple in actions and thoughts, you return to the source of being.
Patient with both friends and enemies,
you accord with the way things are.
Compassionate toward yourself,
you reconcile all beings in the world.', and 'The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.'

Lao Tzu quotes on life, love and happiness

<ul><li>Being angry or <a href="https://www.verywellmind.com/the-mental-health-effects-of-holding-a-grudge-5176186">holding a grudge </a>can be exhausting. Finding a way to achieve forgiveness or resolution around the situation prompting your anger can help neutralize the situation and preserve your energy.</li></ul>If you <a href="https://www.verywellmind.com/conflict-resolution-skills-for-healthy-relationships-3144953">resolve your differences </a>with the person you’re arguing with, you can direct your energy toward reconciling with them instead. This can help you reconnect with them and feel close to them again.

Pros:Anger Can Be Exhausting 

<ul><li>Angry emotions tend to linger more at night than during the day, when you can be distracted and busy yourself with other tasks. Taking your anger to bed can cause you to dwell on the situation and make it into a much bigger issue, which can cause you to feel worse and drag the problem into the next day.</li></ul>This is true, they tend to catastrophize and go down a dark hole with their anger. Having hours to think about their frustration while sitting awake in bed at night can be problematic because it can cause them to pour gasoline on an already rampant fire.

Pros: Anger Can Build Overnight

<ul><li><a href="https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-anger-5120208">Being angry </a>at night can disrupt your sleep. It can make it hard for you to fall asleep, lead to poor sleep quality, and make you more prone to nightmares.</li></ul>It’s important to remember that anger isn’t helping you or making you ‘win’ in a given situation. In the end, your anger does far more harm to you than to the other person, robbing you of your peace and sleep.

Pros: Anger Can Disrupt Your Sleep 

<ul><li>Sometimes people can be <a href="https://www.verywellmind.com/impulsive-behavior-and-bpd-425483">impulsive </a>when they’re angry. This includes saying things they don’t mean and being hurtful to the other person. Taking space and committing to revisiting the situation at a later time when your anger levels have reduced can be productive in some situations.</li></ul>The intensity of your emotions may reduce with time. This can give you time to process your emotions, think about the situation more deeply, and see if your emotional reaction or position on the situation changes with time.

Cons: Anger Can Cause You To React Impula

<ul><li>It is important to note that anger can be a natural response—often a valid one—to a difficult situation. It is a valuable emotion that you must give yourself and the people around you permission to feel; it is not something to avoid.</li></ul>It is fine to feel angry and you don’t need to feel pressure to cap the length of your anger, which could only cause it to arise in other situations. Instead of focusing on your anger, it may be more helpful to focus on the <a href="https://www.verywellmind.com/what-does-it-mean-to-be-triggered-4175432">trigger or stimulus </a>for the emotion.

Cons: Anger Is Not Something To Avoid

According to Dr. Romanoff, the “Never go to bed angry” rule does not work in a one-size-fits all manner. Whether or not you should follow it depends on many factors, such as the cause of your anger, your temperament, and the circumstances.

Should You Follow This Rule? 

<ul><li>Communicate: The first step is to try to find a way to <a href="https://www.verywellmind.com/managing-conflict-in-relationships-communication-tips-3144967">communicate with the other person </a>. If it does not seem likely that a resolution will be reached, be honest with each other and hit the pause button on the argument. </li><li>Use your anger as a guide: <a href="https://www.verywellmind.com/constructive-anger-2797286">Anger can be a useful emotion </a>that can guide you to locate your boundaries, speak to your values, solve problems, and provide information about what you need from the other person</li></ul>

Tips From Dr.Romanoff

<ul><li>Commit to finding a resolution: It’s important to commit to resolving the issue instead of merely trying to avoid conflict. This means recognizing the emotions that are behind your anger in order to engage in more honest communication with the other person to move forward. </li><li>Seek support and comfort: It can be helpful to call a friend and vent about the situation, getting validation or another viewpoint of the situation through their eyes. Distract yourself by doing something comforting, such as baking your favorite dessert, watching your favorite show, or engaging in some self-care.</li></ul>

You may have heard the saying "never go to bed angry." This article explores the psychological implications of this practice and discusses whether you should follow it.

mentalhealth

Mental Health

“Never Go to Bed Angry:”The Pros and Cons of This Practice

<ol><li>Identify the reason for your guilt or regret</li><li>Accept it and move one</li><li>Stop thinking too much </li><li>Takeaway something positive from it</li><li>Turn your guilt into your strength by recognizing areas of your life which you are dissatisfied with and improving upon them</li><li>Replace negative self-talk with self-compassion</li><li>Forgive yourself</li><li>Talk to people you trust</li><li>Make a stronger plan this time to save you from feeling guilty</li><li>Realize it's okay to falter sometimes, but the most important is to learn from all your past experiences and mistakes</li></ol>

How to Stop feeling guilty

It's okay to regret, but learning from out mistakes and turning the feeling of guilt into our strength is even more important

Expert advice on how to overcome guilt, repair relationships affected by it, and stop beating yourself up over it.

health

Health

Get Over Guilt with These Steps

Find 100+ Facts about Love & Relationships - Curated from trusted sources like  Books, Podcasts & Articles - Genuine Insights from like-minded Users like You!