"Life is short. The less time we waste on the weather, the better."

Rather than the usual ‘what do you do for a living' or ‘where do you live’ consider a few of the following questions:<ul><li>In your professional life, what do you think is the most exciting thing?</li><li>In your personal life, what is exciting you the most at the moment?</li><li>If money wasn’t an issue, would you be doing something different?</li><li>In five years from now, what would you ideally like to be doing?</li><li>Do you have a favorite charity organization? Why do you choose them?</li><li>Who is a role model to you and why?</li><li>Who in your life has been significantly influential to you?</li></ul>

When meeting a new person

<ul><li>A large part of understanding people is not to talk but indeed the exact opposite, to shut up and listen. </li><li>You have to resist the urge to talk and you have to continue to bring the conversation back to the other person. You have to learn to genuinely listen and show active consideration and care for what the other person is saying. </li><li>Defined as active listening, it’s the act of trying to understand their position and not fixate on your own. Listening to people makes them feel valued, respected, inspired, and eager to solve problems. </li></ul>

Listening to people

<ul><li>Validation is a powerful way to diffuse anger and frustration. </li><li>Validation is taking mirroring to another level. The idea is to repeat what the other person is saying, but also to suggest some understanding of how they are feeling. One caveat to be aware of is the danger of not interpreting feelings correctly. Get it wrong and it can have a devastating effect.</li><li>﻿Validation is not necessarily agreeing, it is understanding where the other person is coming from and genuinely caring. Even if there is a disagreement, validation allows an avenue for a better resolution rather than becoming defensive.</li></ul>

Validation

”Remember that people care more about themselves than they care about you. People want to talk about themselves. Listening and letting people talk is key to winning them over in life, in business, and in all human relationships.”

There’s a simple key to networking that nobody talks about. Standing out from the crowd, you want to be noticed. In a room full of people trying to get noticed, you need a point of difference.Wear an attention-grabbing piece of clothing, something that stands out and is potentially a conversation started. Consider bright clothing or shoes, a statement scarf or tie. Something that people will notice and be encouraged to chat with you about.

Standing out from the crowd

If you really want to be influential, you want to encourage people to come up with your idea ‘all on their own’:<ul><li>Don’t use the phrase ‘I have an idea’. Subtly push the other person in the direction of your idea and the results. Don’t be explicit.</li><li>You could try explaining the opposite of what you are after. Identify the issues of this option and hopefully, the other person will find your idea as the solution.</li><li>If the other person mentions your idea, whether close to or exact, embrace it and encourage them.</li><li>You can suggest alterations to their idea when it’s not quite what you wanted. </li></ul>

Influencing people

<ul><li>If you are a manager, identify a few people that report directly to you. (If you aren’t a manager identify a few people that you influence in one way or another).</li><li>Remember a few of your favorite school teachers. How was their teaching beneficial to you and how did they affect your performance?</li><li>Reflect on your notes and try to establish a few ways that you can be a better manager/influencer by taking on some of your favorite teachers' qualities.</li></ul>

Improve your teaching ability

”These days, anyone can be a leader, whether the group you’re leading is your company, your team, your department, or your family. You can be a leader even if you have no official leadership role and are simply setting a good example for the people around you. And you can develop many leaders on your team as well.”

The key is that you need to put all people at ease, it’s not about finding a winner but finding a resolution that works for both sides. Conflict usually appears when someone is struggling to feel heard or be helped. It’s important to understand both sides and let each side state their case.Your instinct may be to try to wrap the conflict up as soon as possible. But the reality is that this won’t work. Both sides need to feel like they have been heard before they will calm down and collect themselves.

Managing conflict

”Remember, it's not all about you. Whether you’re speaking to an audience of three thousand, three hundred, thirty, or three, if your hope is to inspire them, your material and delivery have to be about them and how they can grow, not about you.”

When providing feedback, ensure that your criticism is always constructive and consider the following points:<ul><li>Don’t deliver a critique in front of other people. Don’t try to shame someone.</li><li>Have a one-on-one discussion.</li><li>Rather than just identifying issues, suggest positive solutions.</li><li>Don’t dwell on the negative.</li></ul>

Constructive criticism

People don’t like being sold to. Instead, focus on storytelling. Storytelling allows you to share about yourself and it allows people to connect with you at an emotional level.It’s not a technique, it’s more authentic.

To change people’s minds, avoid the sales pitch

What does it take to win success and influence? Some people think that in today’s hyper-competitive world, it’s the tough, take-no-prisoners type who comes out on top. But in reality, argues New York Times bestselling author Dave Kerpen, it’s actually those with the best people skills who win the day. Those who build the right relationships. Those who truly understand and connect with their colleagues, their customers, their partners. Those who can teach, lead, and inspire. In a world where we are constantly connected, and social media has become the primary way we communicate, the key to getting ahead is being the person others like, respect, and trust. Because no matter who you are or what profession you're in, success is contingent less on what you can do for yourself, but on what other people are willing to do for you. Here, through 53 bite-sized, easy-to-execute, and often counterintuitive tips, you’ll learn to master the 11 People Skills that will get you more of what you want at work, at home, and in life. For example, you’ll learn: · The single most important question you can ever ask to win attention in a meeting · The one simple key to networking that nobody talks about · How to remain top of mind for thousands of people, everyday · Why it usually pays to be the one to give the bad news · How to blow off the right people · And why, when in doubt, buy him a Bonsai A book best described as “How to Win Friends and Influence People for today’s world,” The Art of People shows how to charm and win over anyone to be more successful at work and outside of it.

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

communication

Communication

loveandrelationships

Love & Relationships

books

Books

What does it take to win success and influence? Some people think that in today’s hyper-competitive world, it’s the tough, take-no-prisoners type who comes out on top. But in reality, argues New York Times bestselling author Dave Kerpen, it’s actually those with the best people skills who win the day. Those who build the right relationships. Those who truly understand and connect with their colleagues, their customers, their partners. Those who can teach, lead, and inspire.   In a world where we are constantly connected, and social media has become the primary way we communicate, the key to getting ahead is being the person others like, respect, and trust. Because no matter who you are or what profession you're in, success is contingent less on what you can do for yourself, but on what other people are willing to do for you. Here, through 53 bite-sized, easy-to-execute, and often counterintuitive tips, you’ll learn to master the 11 People Skills that will get you more of what you want at work, at home, and in life. For example, you’ll learn:   ·  The single most important question you can ever ask to win attention in a meeting ·  The one simple key to networking that nobody talks about ·  How to remain top of mind for thousands of people, everyday ·  Why it usually pays to be the one to give the bad news ·  How to blow off the right people ·  And why, when in doubt, buy him a Bonsai   A book best described as “How to Win Friends and Influence People for today’s world,” The Art of People shows how to charm and win over anyone to be more successful at work and outside of it.

Dave Kerpen

The Art of People

Regrets of inaction outnumber regrets of action 2:1, and it goes up as people age. That's because "action" regrets, like marrying the wrong person, can be undone, and you can think about them in terms of "at least." For example, many people who felt they married the wrong person would say, "At least I have these great kids." With regrets of inaction, that's impossible.One big category of regrets is also boldness regrets. If only I'd taken the chance. Boldness regrets are common, but they're not the only type.

People Regret Not Taking Action

<ul><li>Foundation regrets: These are the regrets from not doing the work: not saving money for retirement, not getting a degree, not exercising, eating right, etc.</li><li>Moral regrets: Regrets in which you did the wrong thing. Bullying is an example, or choices of unkindness.</li><li>Connection regrets: "If only I'd reached out," is the telltale sign of a connection regret. It is the largest category of regrets, and they are about relationships — family, friendships, romantic and beyond.</li><li>Boldness regrets: Boldness regrets are about a chance that wasn't taken. Things like opportunities to study abroad.</li></ul>

Regrets Tend To Cluster Into Four Different Types

This is a three-part strategy: inward, outward, and forward.<ul><li>Look inward: Reframe how we think about our regrets. We speak to ourselves more cruelly than we'd speak to anyone else. Practice self-compassion.</li><li>Look outward: Practice disclosure. Sharing your emotions is a form of unburdening. We can make sense of regret through talking or writing.</li><li>Move forward: Extract a lesson from your regret. You need to create distance to help yourself process. Some ideas: Talk to yourself in the third person. Or ask yourself: what advice would I give my best friend?</li></ul>

Doing Regret Right

"Our goal should not be to minimize regret. It should be to optimize it."

"There's a reason we experience negative emotions. They're useful if we treat them right. Regret, you don't want to wallow in it. You don't want to ruminate over it. But if you think of it as a signal, as information, as a knock at the door, it is a powerfully transformative emotion."

Rather than striving for a life with no regrets, Daniel H. Pink, author of The Power of Regret, suggests embracing regret and learning from it. He outlines the four most common categories of regret and explains how looking back can help us move forward.

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

How examining our regrets can make for a more meaningful life : Life Kit

To use foresight and to tackle the world’s problems one individual at a time, we must be of sane mind.We must also understand the problems and empathize enough that we want to give money to organizations that help, offer up our homes to those in need when we can, and do jobs that help shape a better future (among other types of action). We also want to share kindness and love to others — friends, neighbors, people we encounter at the grocery store — and raise kids that do the same.

Staying sane

We now gain a huge amount of our knowledge through images, and that’s not all bad. Many people learn and retain information better through images. But because we are likely to believe what we see, digital images (which may be altered or out of context) may be contributing to a post-truth world.Is the problem the images? In our image-centric world, is there a different impact on our brains? Do we think emotionally instead of rationally when we understand ‘the news’ in this way?

An image-centric world

Hegelian dialectics teaches us that moving between opposing views and looking for different angles will help us find the best way forward.Hegel believes that all world problems will eventually be sorted in this way. The caveat is that we have to be open to hearing/seeing/reading these opposing views.

Hegelian hope

Often we forget to look at what’s good or what we have achieved in the face of difficulty. Sadly, it’s easier to remember our traumas than happy memories. It’s easy to think about what we still need to do or what went wrong or an uncomfortable situation. But stop to think of what you have achieved or your top three moments of the day. You might be surprised by the results.

Fearful, but grateful

Maybe in the quest of being knowledgable human beings, a worthy undertaking, we are taking on too much. The old biblical symbol of knowledge/sin has morphed into the apple that adorns an iPhone. We…

problemsolving

Problem Solving

artsandculture

Society, Arts & Culture

How to Move Past “We’re Doomed.”

Mental immunity is a psychological theory that is also known as cognitive immunology.People with a healthy mental immune system are more likely to detect misinformation. A strong cognitive immune system can also help spot bad ideas at an earlier stage, so you may avoid wasting time, energy, or money.

Mental immunity

The mental immune system is believed to function in a similar way to the body’s physical immune system.<ul><li>The purpose of the physical system of immune cells is to detect pathogens including bacteria and viruses, so that they can be eradicated from our bloodstream and organ systems before they have a chance to cause damage.</li><li>Similarly, a healthy mental immune system will detect harmful or incorrect information that enters our mind, so that it can be recognised as such and then promptly rejected.</li><li>Mental immunity research has deep roots dating back to the 1950s. </li></ul>

A mental immune system

<ul><li>Build awareness of misinformation. Remember that misinformation is common, and train yourself to immediately interrogate the information or data you are presented with.</li><li>Develop healthy meta-beliefs. A meta-belief is a belief that one holds following a thorough reasoning process or cognitive interrogation to check the validity of the belief.</li><li>Practice self-reflection. If this process of reflection indicates that you are drawn to the same news sources, or solely rely on influencers or social media platforms for your updates, your information diet may not be varied enough.</li></ul>

How to strengthen your mental immune system

Every day, a new video goes “viral”, and an “infectious” idea starts spreading. Mental immunity is a psychological theory that is also known as cognitive immunology.

How developing mental immunity can protect us from bad ideas

“These, then, are the ten rules of effective communication, all summarized in single words: simplicity, brevity, credibility, consistency, novelty, sound, aspiration, visualization, questing, and context.”

“Remember, everything you need to say should be up front. All that you want to say can come later.”

You can have the best message in the world, but the person on the receiving end will always understand it through the filter of their own emotions, preconceptions, prejudices, and preexisting beliefs.

It’s not what you say, it’s what people hear

<ul><li>Simplicity: Use small words</li><li>Brevity: Use short sentences</li><li>Credibility: Be credible in every word or statement you make</li><li>Consistency:  Iterate the same message, over and over</li><li>Novelty: breed excitement</li><li>Sound: the texture of your words matters</li><li>Aspirational: people forget what you say but not how you made them feel</li><li>Imagery: Visualize, the word “imagine” is an incredibly powerful tool</li><li>Question: Question everything, ask questions and provide the solution</li><li>Context:give background to why you’re here and why people should bother to listen to you – give relevance to the situation.</li></ul>

10 rules for successful communication

<ul><li>Never use a metaphor, simile, or another figure of speech that you are used to seeing in print.</li><li>Never use a long word where a short one will do.</li><li>If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.</li><li>Never use the passive where you can use the active.</li><li>Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word, or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.</li><li>Don’t assume that people know what you do, or are even aware of you.</li></ul>

Some “Don’ts” in communication

The single most-read portion after the opening paragraph is the postscript. The reason is easy to understand: <ul><li>The average reader looks to the P.S. to determine whether or not it is in fact a personal letter, and whether that letter has any relevance to his or her life. </li><li>If it isn’t, and if it doesn’t, the average person won’t read anything else. </li></ul>Make the postscript as human and emotional as possible.

The effectiveness of the postscript

Words have different meanings to different people. For example, “welfare” and “assistance to the poor” essentially mean the same thing. However, if you ask the citizens whether or not we are spending too much on welfare (23%) or assistance for the poor (68%), it’s clear that these two terms hold differing connotations. So while “welfare” brings up images of “welfare queens” and wasteful government spending, “assistance to the poor” reminds people of charity and Christian compassion.

Similar words can prompt different reactions among different people 

Effective communication isn’t about the objective meaning of your words, but rather how people understand them. It’s essential to consider their preconceptions, especially their beliefs and fears. One example is George Orwell who knew this well and used it in his book 1984. He wrote a passage that described Room 101 as a place where one confronts her greatest fears. Since everyone has different personal nightmares, Room 101 became associated with each reader’s individual nightmare.

Effective communication is about considering your audience

“Words that work, whether fiction or reality, not only explain but also motivate. They cause you to think as well as act. They trigger emotion as well as understanding.”

<ul><li>Consequences: What will personalize, and what will dramatize the result of your actions?</li><li>Impact: How can you utilize this word to make your listeners feel as if there will be a measurable difference?</li><li>Diplomacy and Dialogue: Use them to ease tension, to establish a sense of normalcy or goodwill.</li><li>Reliability: There are many people who believe that the reliability of something is more important than any other factor.</li><li>Mission: Your listener wants to know the how, what and why. </li><li>Commitment: What kind of personal mission are you going to undertake? Use commitment in the terms of personal commitment.</li></ul>

Important words

The nation's premier communications expert shares his wisdom on how the words we choose can change the course of business, of politics, and of life in this country In Words That Work, Luntz offers a behind-the-scenes look at how the tactical use of words and phrases affects what we buy, who we vote for, and even what we believe in. With chapters like "The Ten Rules of Successful Communication" and "The 21 Words and Phrases for the 21st Century," he examines how choosing the right words is essential. Nobody is in a better position to explain than Frank Luntz: He has used his knowledge of words to help more than two dozen Fortune 500 companies grow. Hell tell us why Rupert Murdoch's six-billion-dollar decision to buy DirectTV was smart because satellite was more cutting edge than "digital cable," and why pharmaceutical companies transitioned their message from "treatment" to "prevention" and "wellness." If you ever wanted to learn how to talk your way out of a traffic ticket or talk your way into a raise, this book's for you.

The nation's premier communications expert shares his wisdom on how the words we choose can change the course of business, of politics, and of life in this country In Words That Work, Luntz offers a behind-the-scenes look at how the tactical use of words and phrases affects what we buy, who we vote for, and even what we believe in. With chapters like "The Ten Rules of Successful Communication" and "The 21 Words and Phrases for the 21st Century," he examines how choosing the right words is essential. Nobody is in a better position to explain than Frank Luntz: He has used his knowledge of words to help more than two dozen Fortune 500 companies grow. Hell tell us why Rupert Murdoch's six-billion-dollar decision to buy DirectTV was smart because satellite was more cutting edge than "digital cable," and why pharmaceutical companies transitioned their message from "treatment" to "prevention" and "wellness." If you ever wanted to learn how to talk your way out of a traffic ticket or talk your way into a raise, this book's for you.

Dr. Frank Luntz

Words That Work

You can change your mindset and you can change your behavior that is the two most important things that require changing we are going to discuss mindset

Two Main Ways To Get Better At Speaking 

Public speaking doesn’t mean that we aren’t nurvous rather it means that what we’re about to do is important

#Anxiety And Nurvousness Are Not Signs On Troubles

When you get the butterflies in your stomach it reminds you that what you are about to say is important to you

Your Only Half As Nurvous As You Think The Other Is Excitement 

Unless you do something to show your nurvousness people don’t see your nurvousness as you feel as Nurvous

You Do Not Look As Nurvous As You Feel 

You are only Nurvous about 60 seconds it doesn’t last that long

The Spike Of Nurvousness Last 60 Seconds

They are not a barrier to doing an outstanding job you can overcome it. Being scared is not a barrier

Accept That Anxiety And Nurvousness Are Not A Barrier 

No one is looking for your downside everyone wants you to do well. 90% of listeners are sympathetic

Assume That Everyone Is Rooting For You 

Do you feel anxious when speaking or meeting someone new? Here are 6 Mindset tips to deal with social anxiety 

Here are 6 mindset tips to reduce your Public Speaking Anxiety by 50% (Part 1). When you learn how to handle your fear of public speaking, you will feel more confident in yourself and your message and ultimately be more persuasive. Get a Download pdf Confident Public Speaking: http://bit.ly/2M1NfVE-SpeakingTips Watch Part 2: 6 Behavioral Tips to Reduce Speaking Anxiety: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r47cctUxUzM ALEX’S CLASSES AT COMMUNICATION COACH ACADEMY: Essential Professional Communication Skills: http://bit.ly/essentialcommskills Effective Listening Skills for Leaders: http://bit.ly/listeningskillsforleaders Become More Clear, Concise, & Confident: http://bit.ly/clearconciseconfident The Art of Persuasive Communication for Beginners: http://bit.ly/persuasionforbeginners Developing Stakeholder Relationships for Effective Team Leadership: http://bit.ly/stakeholderrelationships Present Like a Pro (Intermediate Public Speaking): http://bit.ly/2zmDM2W ALEX’S CLASSES AT SKILLSHARE (Affiliate): How to Have a Conversation with Anyone: https://skl.sh/2PVYDkl Effective Listening Skills for Leaders: https://skl.sh/2GnIRMR Public Speaking: How to Open and Close Like a Boss: https://skl.sh/2ykPJX3 Public Speaking: Confident Delivery Skills: https://skl.sh/38usFFe Become More Clear, Concise, & Confident: https://skl.sh/36m6dxO The Art of Persuasive Communication for Beginners: https://skl.sh/2RNY4wt Developing Stakeholder Relationships for Effective Team Leadership: https://skl.sh/2XapBuL Courageous Communication Strategies for Leaders: https://skl.sh/3di1vEX Communication Coach, this channel, helps rising leaders like you increase your impact and lead your teams with more excellence. The channel focuses on communication skills for leaders, presentation skills, group and team skills, and conversation skills. If you're looking for self-paced communication skills training, this is the channel for you.

Here are 6 mindset tips to reduce your Public Speaking Anxiety by 50% (Part 1). When you learn how to handle your fear of public speaking, you will feel more confident in yourself and your message and ultimately be more persuasive. Get a Download pdf Confident Public Speaking: https://www.alexanderlyon.com/
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Watch Part 2: 6 Behavioral Tips to Reduce Speaking Anxiety: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r47cctUxUzM

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ALEX’S CLASSES AT SKILLSHARE (Affiliate):
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Effective Listening Skills for Leaders: https://skl.sh/2GnIRMR 
Public Speaking: How to Open and Close Like a Boss: https://skl.sh/2ykPJX3
Public Speaking: Confident Delivery Skills: https://skl.sh/38usFFe 
Become More Clear, Concise, & Confident: https://skl.sh/36m6dxO
The Art of Persuasive Communication for Beginners: https://skl.sh/2RNY4wt 
Courageous Communication Strategies for Leaders: https://skl.sh/3di1vEX

Communication Coach, this channel, helps rising leaders like you increase your impact and lead your teams with more excellence. The channel focuses on communication skills for leaders, presentation skills, group and team skills, and conversation skills. If you're looking for self-paced communication skills training, this is the channel for you.

Welcome! I made this channel to provide communication skills training to help professionals and emerging leaders increase their impact and lead their teams with excellence. 

I've done workshops, presentations, and consulting for organizations for 20+ years. I'm a full-time tenured full Professor at a public college in New York. I publish original research and I'm working on my second book. I earned a Ph.D. in Communication (2003) from CU Boulder. 

With your help, I currently sponsor 8 children through Compassion International with proceeds from the channel. 

THE JOURNEY

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Note: Alex is not accepting any new coaching or new speaking clients. Enjoy the videos and feel free to take a look at his online classes.



Communication Coach Alexander Lyon

Public Speaking Anxiety Tips: 6 Mindset Tips

While it’s okay to be cautious about threats in your surroundings, it’s equally important to look at the rewards of proceding if you wish to protect your mental health.Being overly cautious will lead you to associate cues in your surroundings with potential sources of harm rather than pleasure, also known as “attention bias”.

Don’t let yourself be too consumed by anxiety.

If you experience high attention bias in your daily life, you’d look suspiciously at the faces and movements of people who approach you, rather than, for example, the cuddly stuffed animals on the rack in the gift shop.

The Effects of Attention Bias

Having previous experiences in common environments which could cause distress is perfectly normal, and a valid reason to develop attention bias. At the same time, though, is it possible to let down your guard just a little in terms of your level of worry? If you try this in stages, you might be surprised at just how much better you feel.

Attention bias is normal.

New research shows how to tell whether you're just too suspicious.

health

Health

mentalhealth

Mental Health

9 Signs You May Be Too Tuned in to Threat

the following article will shed light on what solving methods are useful and which behavior will help to achieve them

Introduction

• Less effectiveare forced solving or withdrawed solving - (command based) negotiating doesnt solves any conflict, it hardens the confrontation	• Collaborationcan be effective when theres no one forced or withdrawed	• Smoothingis not clearly less or more effective, played down differences can block solution finding for a temporary ease of the situation. on the other side it can be used to connect with the conflict counterpart emotionally. if one makes sure to trigger only positive emotions, it can possibly lead to a compromise.

Methods

Speed & Volume<ol><li>Slow Speed seems dumber while Fast Speed implicates not knowing something well</li><li>Low Volume sounds as you are unsure and High Volume can possibly provoke someone (dominant)</li></ol>

Voice

<ol><li>Try to use positive words, every word will have a little emotional impact that influences how competent you seem.</li><li>Replace forcing elements with less agressive ones. "We must" - "We should"</li><li>Show your counterpart that you understood his feelings and offer discussion on that part. "What do you think could help to be more relaxing instead of creating anger?"</li><li>Critical Points in your discussion can get softer when you use unspecific descriptions of ones identity - "Most people would find it difficult that...."</li></ol>

Vocabulary

leadershipandmanagement

Leadership & Management

Effective Conflict Behaviour

To save one is to save the world.

There are people in the world who have gone through poverty and pain and are still willing to give to people who need help, because those people will remember your kindness and return it to you.If you are in a tough situation, do not let it limit your relationships, but motivate it.

If you are in need, give others what they need.

I just finished reading this book for a class project, and it really changed my perspective on the Nazi Germany era and the community which formed within its victims.

The #1 International Bestseller & New York Times Bestseller This beautiful, illuminating tale of hope and courage is based on interviews that were conducted with Holocaust survivor and Auschwitz-Birkenau tattooist Ludwig (Lale) Sokolov—an unforgettable love story in the midst of atrocity. “The Tattooist of Auschwitz is an extraordinary document, a story about the extremes of human behavior existing side by side: calculated brutality alongside impulsive and selfless acts of love. I find it hard to imagine anyone who would not be drawn in, confronted and moved. I would recommend it unreservedly to anyone, whether they’d read a hundred Holocaust stories or none.”—Graeme Simsion, internationally-bestselling author of The Rosie Project In April 1942, Lale Sokolov, a Slovakian Jew, is forcibly transported to the concentration camps at Auschwitz-Birkenau. When his captors discover that he speaks several languages, he is put to work as a Tätowierer (the German word for tattooist), tasked with permanently marking his fellow prisoners. Imprisoned for over two and a half years, Lale witnesses horrific atrocities and barbarism—but also incredible acts of bravery and compassion. Risking his own life, he uses his privileged position to exchange jewels and money from murdered Jews for food to keep his fellow prisoners alive. One day in July 1942, Lale, prisoner 32407, comforts a trembling young woman waiting in line to have the number 34902 tattooed onto her arm. Her name is Gita, and in that first encounter, Lale vows to somehow survive the camp and marry her. A vivid, harrowing, and ultimately hopeful re-creation of Lale Sokolov's experiences as the man who tattooed the arms of thousands of prisoners with what would become one of the most potent symbols of the Holocaust, The Tattooist of Auschwitz is also a testament to the endurance of love and humanity under the darkest possible conditions.

The #1 International Bestseller & New York Times BestsellerThis beautiful, illuminating tale of hope and courage is based on interviews that were conducted with Holocaust survivor and Auschwitz-Birkenau tattooist Ludwig (Lale) Sokolov—an unforgettable love story in the midst of atrocity.“The Tattooist of Auschwitz is an extraordinary document, a story about the extremes of human behavior existing side by side: calculated brutality alongside impulsive and selfless acts of love. I find it hard to imagine anyone who would not be drawn in, confronted and moved. I would recommend it unreservedly to anyone, whether they’d read a hundred Holocaust stories or none.”—Graeme Simsion, internationally-bestselling author of The Rosie ProjectIn April 1942, Lale Sokolov, a Slovakian Jew, is forcibly transported to the concentration camps at Auschwitz-Birkenau. When his captors discover that he speaks several languages, he is put to work as a Tätowierer (the German word for tattooist), tasked with permanently marking his fellow prisoners.Imprisoned for over two and a half years, Lale witnesses horrific atrocities and barbarism—but also incredible acts of bravery and compassion. Risking his own life, he uses his privileged position to exchange jewels and money from murdered Jews for food to keep his fellow prisoners alive.One day in July 1942, Lale, prisoner 32407, comforts a trembling young woman waiting in line to have the number 34902 tattooed onto her arm. Her name is Gita, and in that first encounter, Lale vows to somehow survive the camp and marry her.A vivid, harrowing, and ultimately hopeful re-creation of Lale Sokolov's experiences as the man who tattooed the arms of thousands of prisoners with what would become one of the most potent symbols of the Holocaust, The Tattooist of Auschwitz is also a testament to the endurance of love and humanity under the darkest possible conditions.

Heather Morris

The Tattooist of Auschwitz

Buyers don’t make rational decisions; rather, they make emotional decisions and then justify those by rationalizing them after the fact. This is true even for business customers, who have to use spreadsheets and numbers to support their decisions.

Man Is Not A Rational Animal; He Is A Rationalizing Animal

In the 1950s, Dr. Eric Berne developed the theory of transactional analysis to better understand how people communicate. According to the theory, people have three ego states that influence their behavior during social interactions: the adult, the child, and the parent.

The Adult, The Child And The Parent

The salesman David H. Sandler, together with a psychologist colleague, used some of the theory of transactional analysis to develop Sandler Training. According to the Sandler Selling System, a buying prospect must be emotionally involved in the sale; the “pain” of not having the product has to affect them on an emotional level.

The Pain Of Not Having The Product

When we make buying decisions, we like to think that our ego’s “adult” state is the one that’s working the hardest, that the logical, analytical, rational part of our behavioral framework weighs both sides of the argument and comes back with a solution. However, Sandler recognized that neither the “adult” nor the “parent” state is at work until the “child” wants the product. Many of our buying decisions originate in the ego’s child state, where our inner 6-year-old tells us they want something without delay.

It’s Always The Child That Asks For Things

There are more sales techniques, methodologies, and frameworks than one could count. Most of them probably work when they are correctly applied, and then there are some that might even hurt the business rather than help it. In the end, they are like exercise—the best approach is the one that works for you.

Trial And Error

Everything in life is sales. Parents sell their kids on going to bed. Spouses sell their partners on mowing the lawn or putting the cat out. Appealing to a “consumer's” inner child and applying a trial-by-error approach are two ways to make sales more effectively.

Businesses aren’t rational customers—they just look like it.

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