<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/55723020-dopamine-nation">Dopamine Nation </a>talks about the importance of living a balanced life in relation to all the pleasure and stimuli we’re surrounded with on a daily basis, such as drugs, devices, porn, gambling facilities, showing us how to avoid becoming dopamine addicts by restricting our access to them.

Dopamine Nation - Book Summary 

"The paradox is that hedonism, the pursuit of pleasure for its own sake, leads to anhedonia. Which is the inability to enjoy pleasure of any kind."-Anna Lembke

Author Quote 

Compared to our ancestors, we’re living in a world of opulence. On the bright side, constant access to all resources and remarkable amenities creates a world of opportunities. On the other hand, this way of living turns many people into dopamine addicts. You’re likely one of them. After all, who isn’t? With so many temptations being a click away, it’s hard not to fall into the trap of overconsumption.

Book Overview 

<a href="https://fourminutebooks.com/how-to-break-up-with-your-phone-summary/">Checking our phone 24/7 </a>, drinking and eating all the unnecessary edibles just for the sake of pleasure, spending valuable time and money gambling, or avoiding human contact in favor of porn, are just a few of the symptoms. So how can one break this vicious cycle? <a href="https://www.annalembke.com/">Anna Lembke </a>‘s <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/55723020-dopamine-nation">Dopamine Nation </a>  has the answers. By learning how the pain-pleasure reaction works in the brain and how to spot the root cause of your desires, you too can overcome dopamine addiction.

<ol><li>Misery turns humans into pleasure addicts who can’t deal with discomfort. </li><li>Our brains build resistance to dopamine over time, and that’s a bad thing.  </li><li>Ironically, pain can help us tap into our dopamine reserves.  </li> </ol>Let’s discuss them to reveal some interesting insights!

Top 3 Lessons From The Book 

Going through life, there’s plenty of misery and unhappiness we’ll face, just as there are many happy and beautiful moments we’ll witness. However, it seems that we’re not too good when it comes to dealing with pain, so we try to cover it up with small, but effective doses of pleasure. Frankly, everyone has an addiction. If you feel <a href="https://fourminutebooks.com/bored-and-brilliant-summary/">bored </a>, chances are you’ll turn to your phone for a quick distraction. When you feel numb or sad, you can always drown that feeling in alcohol or other drugs, just like you can treat anxiety and stress with just a pill.

Lesson 1: Dopamine addiction follows from our desire to stop feeling miserable.

Dopamine is a constantly surrounding temptation, so in order to stop the overindulgence, you’ll have to restrict your access to these stimuli. If you’re on your way to school or work, try not listening to music or to your podcast for a change. Instead, let your thoughts run free and enjoy the present.

If you feel like you’re becoming stressed, just deal with the feeling. Listen to your inner voice and try to find what it is that your mind is trying so hard to cover up. Find your source of distress or misery and cure it.  If you learn to tolerate slight discomforts and deal with your emotions instead of tuning out and reaching for the quickest source of dopamine, you’ll train your brain to become stronger. To become more independent and emotionally aware, you’ll have to go through certain unpleasant moments in life and face them directly.

Just like a drug addict, we go back to our sources of dopamine every time we need a new dose of pleasure. However, as we consume more of them, our brain starts to get used to the feeling and builds resistance. Thus, more of that source of dopamine is required to maintain the level of pleasure. This process is called <a href="https://fourminutebooks.com/the-brain-that-changes-itself-summary/">neuroadaptation </a>, and it can lead to serious addiction.

Lesson 2: Constantly fulfilling our dopamine cravings leads to neuroadaptation.

One of the major downsides of a dopamine addiction is the pain that comes with it. As we build resistance, we find that we can’t live without dopamine, so we start to have cravings that may look like crankiness, moodiness, anxiety, or even physical imbalances. Moreover, as we consume the things that give us pleasure, we find that they no longer fulfill our needs like they used to. Pleasure isn’t free, as it is followed by pain. However, if we fight the cravings and the rest of the symptoms, our brain starts to go back to its normal state.

The balance between the mind, body, and spirit can be restored, as long as the damage hasn’t occurred for too long and the dopamine source wasn’t too harmful. Pornography or video games are considered harmful, but low-risk activities. Consuming drugs, on the other hand, can be life-threatening.

By now you already know that pleasure is inevitably followed by pain, and that too much of it can cause high levels of damage to our brain and body. However, used the other way around, pain can help us achieve pleasure and increase our dopamine levels. Ironic, isn’t it? Let me break it down for you in a simple explanation!

Lesson 3: Using pain as a dopamine source can promote our well-being.

If you like going to the gym, or you’re a sports person, you know how hard it is to get up and stick to your routine, and even while doing your exercises, how that muscle pain feels like. After all, you’re subjecting your body to a short-term <a href="https://fourminutebooks.com/the-body-keeps-the-score-summary/">traumatic event </a>. However, the benefits that come afterward are tremendous.

Not only does it enhance your dopamine levels, but it also promotes a healthier body in the long run. The same goes for intermittent fasting, cold showers, and many other examples. Subjecting your body to such activities increases its resistance and builds up a stronger natural immune system in time. As such, pain that is followed by pleasure is a healthy, healing option for us, but not so much the other way around.

<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/55723020-dopamine-nation">Dopamine Nation </a>explores how overflowing sources of dopamine can become a burden to carry. Although the constant availability of resources looks like a good thing from the outside, it can lead to serious problems and the avoidance of discomfort in our society. However, by learning to use pain to our advantage and fighting the urge to indulge in the nearest dopamine source, we can become balanced individuals who live healthy, <a href="https://fourminutebooks.com/love-warrior-summary/">addiction-free </a>lives.

Dopamine Nation - Book Review

The 30-year-old gambler who wants to fight his addiction, the 35-year-old person who is looking to better themself and create a healthier routine in their life, or the 40-year-old life coach who is looking to learn more about the root causes of misery and how to fight them, so as to deliver better advice to their customers.

Who would I recommend our Dopamine Nation to?

This summary of Dopamine Nation by Anna Lembke will show you the harmful effects of dopamine addiction and how to overcome it.

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

mindfulness

Mindfulness

health

Health

mentalhealth

Mental Health

Dopamine Nation Summary

<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/22318578-the-life-changing-magic-of-tidying-up">The Life-Changing Magic Of Tidying Up </a>takes you through the process of simplifying, organizing and storing your belongings step by step, to make your home a place of peace and clarity.

The Life-Changing Magic Of Tidying Up - Book Summary 

"The question of what you want to own is actually the question of how you want to live your life."-Marie Kondo

Author Quote

Some books just strike exactly the right nerve at exactly the right time. <a href="http://konmari.com/about/">Marie Kondo </a>‘s surely did. Published in late 2014, <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/22318578-the-life-changing-magic-of-tidying-up">The Life-Changing Magic Of Tidying Up </a> has already sold 6 million (!) copies worldwide. Using a single question as the center of her tidying process (“Does this spark joy?”), she’s swept the world off its feet and the clutter out of our homes.

I already <a href="http://niklasgoeke.com/selling-issues/">discovered the power of decluttering in 2013 </a>, and in hindsight, I can agree with a lot of what Konmari (her nickname) says. Tidying up isn’t just about being a neat freak. It’s much more than that. It’s a spiritual experience, and you’re not just cleaning your house, your mind and body detox right with it.

<ol><li>Move from easy to hard items when considering what to keep. </li><li>YODO – you only declutter once (if you do it right). </li><li>Ask yourself a few simple questions for each item. </li> </ol>

Top 3 Book Points

What decluttering comes down to is examining your relationship with each and every single item in your home. Each relationship is different. Your history with your coffee maker has begun at a different point in time than your relationship with that postcard a friend sent you, and so on.

Lesson 1: Go from easy items to more difficult ones when figuring out what to keep.

Do you know how thinking of some people instantly reminds you of the happy and exciting times you shared together? Possessions are the same, which makes <a href="https://fourminutebooks.com/minimalism-summary/">some more worth keeping than others </a>.

However, some relationships with things are more complicated than others. That’s why it’s best to start with easier categories of more functional items, like clothes, books, technology, documents, and other miscellaneous items. Most of these serve a clear purpose and don’t hold as many complex memories as your more sentimental items.

Save photos and memorabilia for the very end, because by then you’ll already be in decluttering mode and figure out what to do with these special memories a lot faster. Keep those where you distinctly remember creating or getting them – those are your longest lasting memories, which you can re-live over and over, and gratefully let go of the rest.

Most people don’t even get started on decluttering, simply because they think it’s a lifetime job. That couldn’t be further from the truth. Marie Kondo says you only have to tidy up once – if you do it right – to leave a lasting impact on your life. It takes her around six hours on average to clean a client’s house, and she’s a pro, so you should probably take a weekend to give yourself enough time. In fact, if you make it a special event, tidying up goes from tedious task to fun and life-changing experience.

Lesson 2: YODO – you only declutter once (if you do it right).

Once you’ve thrown a thorough cleaning party, you’ll not only have the biggest part behind you, but also emerge with a new mindset . Chances are, you’ll buy a lot less in the future, to keep your space neat and clean, which makes future clean ups simple and easy.

For example, I <a href="http://niklasgoeke.com/minimal-wardrobe/">threw out 75% of my clothes </a>, all of my video games, DVDs and BluRays, some of my books and most of my old school supplies and notes in 2013. I felt so free afterward that the last thing I wanted was to fill up all those empty shelves again with the same clutter, so I’ve never had to do another big clean out since then. Now it’s mostly just tossing an item here and there, while my space remains forever organized 🙂

But how the hell do you even decide what to keep and what to toss? This is where most people overcomplicate things, but not you. Not after you’ve read this, anyway. Konmari suggestsa few simple questions which you can use, moving from a rational to a more emotional approach, depending on the item and the complexity of the relationship you have with it.

Lesson 3: Don’t overcomplicate tidying up, just use a few simple questions.

Start with these: <ul><li>What is the purpose of this object? </li><li>Has it fulfilled its purpose already? </li><li>Why did I get this thing? </li><li>When did I get it? </li><li>How did it land in my house? </li> </ul>

For example, a DVD that’s still in its packaging has likely not fulfilled its purpose yet, but if it’s been sitting on your shelf for a year, chances are it’ll be better off in someone else’s hands. But, for some things, <a href="https://fourminutebooks.com/thinking-fast-and-slow-summary/">rational reasoning </a>won’t win over <a href="https://fourminutebooks.com/pitch-anything-summary/">your powerful gut reaction </a>to keep them. When you find you’re emotionally attached to an item, switch to examining how it contributes to your happiness:

<ul><li>Does this thing make me happy when I see it/hold it? </li><li>Do I see/hold it on a regular basis? </li> </ul>For example, gift cards are nice messages from friends and loved ones, bringing you joy and happiness. But even though you keep them around, you probably never look at them again. You’ve received the message, and therefore you can now let them go.

I love all things Japan, and <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/22318578-the-life-changing-magic-of-tidying-up">The Life-Changing Magic Of Tidying Up </a> is no exception. Konmari carries a spiritual sense of minimalism and simplicity into your life. If you haven’t done a big cleaning event in the last 5 years, do one! If this book is what it takes for you to make it happen, or you can’t find the courage yet, go for it.

The Life-Changing Magic Of Tidying Up Review

The 16 year old, who lives in a cluttered house, and tends to follow his parents’ example, the 29 year old fashion blogger, who often can’t decide what to wear the next day, and anyone who can’t remember the last time they did a proper spring cleaning.

Who would I recommend The Life-Changing Magic Of Tidying Up summary to?

The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo - Book Summary 

This 4 minute The Life-Changing Magic Of Tidying Up summary shows you in what order you should sort out items, which questions to ask & what YODO means.

productivity

Productivity

problemsolving

Problem Solving

creativity

Creativity

The Life-Changing Magic Of Tidying Up Summary

<ol><li>Do the sixteen breathing exercises, you can learn how to breathing in mindfully</li><li>Have a mantra, make your own mantra it will be help you to realize and take you back to present moment</li><li>Being present with strong emotion, try to notice and realize that you life in the moment</li><li>Inviting the bell, the bell sound meaning that you inviting the happiness to come to you</li><li>Metta, is a practice of understanding, and love ourselves first then others</li><li>Deep relaxation, relax and observating your body</li><li>The five mindfulness trainings</li><li>Walking meditation, by walking you will realize that you life in the present.</li></ol>

Practices for Happiness 

<ol><li class="ql-align-justify">Reverence for life, aware of the suffering caused by the destruction of life</li><li class="ql-align-justify">True Happiness, practice looking deeply to see that happiness and suffering are not separate</li><li class="ql-align-justify">True love, finding the meaning of love and practicing true love.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Loving speech and deep listening, try to spread happiness by words and learn how to be good listener to the others</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Nourishment and healing, aware and accept your feelings while you suffering, do not denial it just accept it.</li></ol>

The five mindfulness training

Mindfulness can change everything by helping you to really be there and enjoy whatever you’re doing.

Happiness is available to us right here and right now. But we may need to change our idea of happiness. Our idea of happiness may itself be the main obstacle keeping us from true happiness.

Try to life in the moment, not in the past, not in the future. Just life now, in the present. Take a breath and live your life.

The secret to happiness is to acknowledge and transform suffering, not to run away from it. Here, Thich Nhat Hanh offers practices and inspiration transforming suffering and finding true joy. Thich Nhat Hanh acknowledges that because suffering can feel so bad, we try to run away from it or cover it up by consuming. We find something to eat or turn on the television. But unless we’re able to face our suffering, we can’t be present and available to life, and happiness will continue to elude us. Nhat Hanh shares how the practices of stopping, mindful breathing, and deep concentration can generate the energy of mindfulness within our daily lives. With that energy, we can embrace pain and calm it down, instantly bringing a measure of freedom and a clearer mind. No Mud, No Lotus introduces ways to be in touch with suffering without being overwhelmed by it. "When we know how to suffer," Nhat Hanh says, "we suffer much, much less." With his signature clarity and sense of joy, Thich Nhat Hanh helps us recognize the wonders inside us and around us that we tend to take for granted and teaches us the art of happiness.

books

Books

The secret to happiness is to acknowledge and transform suffering, not to run away from it. Here, Thich Nhat Hanh offers practices and inspiration transforming suffering and finding true joy. Thich Nhat Hanh acknowledges that because suffering can feel so bad, we try to run away from it or cover it up by consuming. We find something to eat or turn on the television. But unless we’re able to face our suffering, we can’t be present and available to life, and happiness will continue to elude us. Nhat Hanh shares how the practices of stopping, mindful breathing, and deep concentration can generate the energy of mindfulness within our daily lives. With that energy, we can embrace pain and calm it down, instantly bringing a measure of freedom and a clearer mind. No Mud, No Lotus introduces ways to be in touch with suffering without being overwhelmed by it. "When we know how to suffer," Nhat Hanh says, "we suffer much, much less." With his signature clarity and sense of joy, Thich Nhat Hanh helps us recognize the wonders inside us and around us that we tend to take for granted and teaches us the art of happiness.

Thich Nhat Hanh

No Mud, No Lotus

Do thoughts and tasks overwhelm you? Good news: <a href="https://giovannispezia.com/journaling/">journaling</a> can help you manage emotions and provide focus.

Introduction

<ol><li>Improved mental health. Better <a href="https://giovannispezia.com/overcome-stress/">management of stress, anxiety, and depression.</a></li><li>Clarity of thought. Process emotions and brainstorm solutions.</li><li>Stress relief. Writing thoughts and feelings provides a sense of relief.</li><li>Increased creativity. Cultivate your imagination and <a href="https://giovannispezia.com/why-doing-nothing-is-good-for-you/">open up new possibilities.</a></li></ol>

Why You Should Start Journaling

<ol><li>Set a regular time. Establish a routine and choose a comfortable and quiet space, free from distractions.</li><li>Write about anything that comes to mind: thoughts, feelings, experiences, and goals.</li><li>Write freely, without judgment or expectation. Express yourself fully.</li></ol>

How To Start Journaling

Choose a journal that you’ll enjoy writing in and that will motivate you to write.<a href="https://giovannispezia.com/memento-mori-journal/">The Memento Mori Journal</a> is a high-quality leather journal that is great for setting aside a moment to write about feelings, thoughts, and emotions.

Choose The Right Journal

If you're interested in the topics of personal development, mindset, and both physical and mental well-being, consider checking out my content at:<ul><li><a href="https://giovannispezia.com">GiovanniSpezia.com</a></li><li><a href="https://twitter.com/GiovaSpezia">Twitter</a></li><li><a href="https://www.pinterest.com/Giovanni_Spezia/">Pinterest</a></li></ul>Thank you all for the support! 🫶

Liked These Ideas? Consider Checking Out My Blog

Does overthinking say something to you? Good news: this simple habit can help exactly with that!

Does overthinking and stress say something to you? Good news: journaling will help you manage stress, anxiety, and depression.

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Reading & Writing

This Simple Habit Will Change Your Life Forever - Giovanni Spezia

Four words every writer is dying to hear at least once in life: “One million copies sold.” But you wouldn’t expect to hear them four months after the publication of your second book. Then again, <a href="https://jordanbpeterson.com/about/">Jordan Peterson’s </a> <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/30257963-12-rules-for-life">12 Rules For Life </a>  isn’t just a book. As for his first one, Peterson spent years collecting and refining the ideas that would create a sort of blueprint for a good life. This time, however, the book didn’t flop and sell less than 500 copies.

12 Rules For Life - Book Summary 

Since its publication in January and Peterson’s accompanying world tour, <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/30257963-12-rules-for-life">12 Rules For Life </a>  completely exploded, dominating bestseller lists around the globe. Suddenly, millions view, listen to, and follow Peterson on social media, he’s racked up over $60,000 in monthly donations through Patreon, and, of course, one million copies sold.

Whether he’s just struck the right nerve at the right time or put his finger on true significance and meaning, only time will tell, but with thousands of people messaging him how the book’s changed their lives, chances are good it’s the latter. Let’s look at 3 of his 12 <a href="http://fourminutebooks.com/simple-rules-summary/">rules </a>to begin to find out:<ol><li>Sweep in front of your own door before pointing out the street is dirty.</li><li>Treat yourself like a child you’re responsible for.</li><li>Aim to do what is meaningful, not convenient.</li></ol>These form the premise Peterson’s book is built on and thus, the context for understanding why it’s been such a success. Let’s go!

Life isn’t fair. We all learn that one way or other. Some of us sooner, some later, some in small ways, some from terrifying blows. But we all realize it eventually. Like the Russian writer <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leo_Tolstoy">Leo Tolstoy </a>, who, in his short, philosophical piece, <a href="https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/A_Confession_(Maudes_translation)">A Confession </a>, concluded there are only four reasonable responses to the absurdity of life: <ol><li>Ignorance, like a child refusing to accept reality. </li><li>Pleasure, like an addict on the <a href="https://fourminutebooks.com/the-code-of-the-extraordinary-mind-summary/">hedonic treadmill </a>. </li><li>Suicide. </li><li>Holding on, despite everything. </li> </ol>

Lesson 1: Before you judge the world, take responsibility for your own life.

Even though he concluded suicide was the most honest answer, Tolstoy himself chose the last option, forever struggling on, which tells you a lot about his and Peterson’s beliefs about a good life: No matter how unfair life gets, you should never blame the world . There’s always someone who’s suffered worse than you. Like <a href="https://fourminutebooks.com/mans-search-for-meaning-summary/">Viktor Frankl </a>, for example. Besides, even though the future may sometimes look bleak, if you can focus on taking responsibility and keeping your own house clean, so to speak, you’ll find the bad times will pass.

Have you ever gotten a prescription from the doctor and thought: “Naaa, I don’t need that?” Over one third of people do it regularly. According to Peterson, it’s neither smart nor smug. It’s a subversive form of self-punishment. We do it a lot and, as a result, tend to take better care of others than ourselves.

Lesson 2: Care for yourself like you would for a loved one.

Peterson suggests this is a consequence of our inability to deal with the insanity of life described above. Just like Adam and Eve had to taste the forbidden fruit of knowledge, we too indulge in our dark sides from time to time and thus, feel we deserve punishment. But, as with the unfairness of life, we all got thrown out of the Garden of Eden. Like <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yin_and_yang">Yin and Yang </a>, we all carry both light and dark inside us. One can’t exist without the other.

That means instead of just striving for either one, we should seek balance, which is why his second rule is to care for yourself like you would care for a loved one: do what is best for you, even though it might not always make you happy .

Balancing your light and your dark side can take many different forms. Sometimes, it may be staying in bed to get healthy, even though you want to work. Other times, it might mean staying late at work on a Friday. However it looks like, it always involves choosing meaning by making a sacrifice, rather than temporary happiness by choosing pleasure .

Lesson 3: Seek meaning through sacrifice, not happiness through pleasure.

Peterson says this is a great coping mechanism, because it helps balance your life between drowning in hedonism and being so righteous it drives you mad. Of course not all sacrifices are equal. Those you make for personal gain, like working overtime to pay for a vacation, hold less meaning than those you make for the greater good, like volunteering on a Saturday.

Even though it might feel like it when you do it, sacrifice is never really about giving up rewards, it’s about deferring them until you can get something even better, usually a feeling of whole-ness or contentment. As such, it’s also <a href="http://niklasgoeke.com/increase-willpower/">great willpower training </a>. I’ll leave you with an analogy Peterson makes. The Lotus flower starts out at the very bottom of the lake, drenched in darkness. Inch by inch, it grows its way towards the surface, until, eventually, it breaks through and into the sunlight. I could sure think of worse ways to spend a life than to <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6C6QhD0CGjM">be a Lotus flower </a>.

I haven’t gotten around to reading the full book, but I’d like to. It’s full of stories, science, myths, a broad mix of engaging ways to get his message across. It’s mainly targeted at male millennials, but don’t let that stop you. There’s something for everyone in <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/30257963-12-rules-for-life">12 Rules For Life </a> .

12 Rules For Life - Book Review

This 12 Rules For Life summary explains the key lessons from Jordan Peterson's bestselling self-help book 12 Rules For Life. Read it now.

philosophy

Philosophy

religionandspirituality

Religion & Spirituality

motivationandinspiration

Motivation & Inspiration

12 Rules For Life Summary

If you're a perfectionist, that might mean you can be pretty hard on yourself. A mistake at work, for example, could result is some pretty negative self-talk or actions, like depriving yourself of a snack later that day. In other words, you're punishing yourself. But self-punishment doesn't encourage growth, says Katherine Morgan Schafler, a psychotherapist and author of "The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control."

"Punishment doesn't work," she writes in her book. "When you punish someone, that person doesn't learn how to change; they learn how to avoid the source of the punishment."  If you are the source of your own punishment then you learn to avoid yourself. This might look like overworking, overspending, or numbing yourself with excessive consumption of social media or TV shows. None of this actually helps you grow, though.  Punishment can be mistaken for a handful of things: discipline, personal accountability, natural consequence, and rehabilitation.

<ul><li>Punishment vs. Discipline: "Punishment seeks to increase pain. Discipline seeks to increase structure," Schafler writes in her book. Punishment is about control and discouraging negative behavior. Discipline is about promoting structure to increase positive behavior.  </li> </ul>

<ul><li>Punishment vs. personal accountability: Personal accountability is about owning up to your mistake and taking responsibility for the solution. Personal responsibility requires you to apologize to who you've hurt and make a pledge to improve. Punishment doesn't really come with a plan other than blaming yourself. "Punishment is lazy," she writes.  </li> </ul>

<ul><li>Punishment vs. natural consequence:  Punishment relies on fear to help you learn, but natural consequence relies on understanding that your choices had impact, perhaps one you didn't like. Instead of being scared to act, natural consequence might encourage you to act in a way that will net a positive result.  </li> </ul>

<ul><li>Punishment vs. rehabilitation: Punishment seeks to "demoralize and disempower" while rehabilitation seeks to "stabilize and empower," Schafler writes. Rehabilitation focuses on building positive growth on a healthy foundation.  </li> </ul>

Instead of punishing yourself for making a mistake, Schafler writes it is more effective to practice self-compassion. In her book she references the broaden-and-build theory, a positive psychology theory that was developed by social psychologist Barbara Fredrickson in 1998.  Broaden-and-build theory suggests that when you're in a positive headspace you feel more able to face different challenges and make choices based on the possibility of positive outcomes.

The broaden-and-build theory

When you're in a negative headspace your view narrows and you aren't inspired or encouraged to think differently.  In order to put yourself in a positive headspace, you need to practice self-compassion, Schafler says.

"Research demonstrates self compassion's positive association with a greater sense of self-worth, increased personal initiative, increased resilience to stress, more realistic self-appraisals of strengths and weaknesses, lower levels of depression and anxiety, reduced rates of burnout, increased motivation to make amends for past mistakes, and the list goes on," Schafler says.

Opting for self-compassion instead of self-punishment means you are more likely to learn from your mistakes and grow as a person.

This Positive Psychology Theory Will Help You Learn From Your Mistakes 

"When you punish someone, that person doesn't learn how to change; they learn how to avoid the source of the punishment." 

This positive psychology theory will help you learn from your mistakes: 'Punishment doesn't work'

Mental blocks can be quite frustrating and can prevent us from reaching our full potential. However, there are several ways to overcome them.

It is important to understand what is causing the block. Is it fear of failure, a lack of confidence, or perhaps past negative experiences? Once you have identified the source, you can start to address it and find ways to overcome it.

Identify the source of the block

Setting achievable goals can help you focus on what you want to achieve, and can also help you measure your progress. Make sure the goals are specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound.

Set achievable goals

Our thoughts and beliefs play a crucial role in shaping our experiences. Try to replace negative thoughts with positive affirmations and reminders of your strengths and accomplishments.

Practice positive self-talk

Taking breaks and engaging in activities that you enjoy can help you recharge and reduce stress. Exercise, meditation, and spending time with loved ones are all great ways to take care of you.

Take breaks and engage in self-care

Surrounding yourself with positive and supportive people can help you stay motivated and on track. Seek out mentors, join a support group, or connect with like-minded individuals.

Surround yourself with positive influences:

Don't let failures define you. Instead, use them as opportunities to learn and grow. Reflect on what you could have done differently and use that knowledge to inform your future actions.

Learn from failures

Stepping out of your comfort zone can help you overcome mental blocks. Try new activities, take on new challenges, and embrace uncertainty.

 Challenge yourself

If your mental blocks persist, consider seeking the help of a therapist or counsellor. They can help you work through your issues and develop a plan to overcome your mental blocks.

 Seek professional help

meditation

Meditation

8 ways to get out of Mental Blocks

For thousands of years, humanity has passionately pursued the Truth with a capital T—the ultimate answers to life and the universe. This perennial knowledge constitutes the answers to what are often called the soul questions:<ul><li>Who am I?</li><li>What do I want?</li><li>What is my purpose?</li><li>What is the meaning of life?</li></ul>

The Soul Questions

Religion: Religions are most often based upon the lives, teachings, and beliefs of a historical or archetypal figure (e.g., Christ, Buddha, Moses, Krishna, Muhammad).Spirituality: By contrast, spirituality is more often based upon the practical application of the founder’s teachings.

Origins of Religions and Spirituality  

Spiritual aspirants heed the advice of Japanese poet Matsuo Basho, “Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the wise. Seek what they sought.”

Let’s try to clear things up by taking a closer look at the most defining differences between religious and spiritual paths. Religion: <ul><li>It is an objective experience, there is usually a greater focus on externals. </li><li>It is object referral, you're completely focused on objects like house of worship , books and observances etc. </li></ul>Spirituality:<ul><li>Self-referral, self awareness of your soul. </li><li>Inward journey</li></ul>

Objective vs. Subjective Experience

<ul><li>Moral rules, laws, and doctrines, as well as specific codes and criteria, create the organized structure that contains the religion’s specific belief system. </li><li>The spiritual aspirant recognizes that he or she is on a “pathless path” of self-discovery. They are following not a set of external rules, but their own inner call to spirit. </li></ul>

Organized vs Formless

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson Said : 

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Religiousinstitutions conservatively guard their practices and values, holding rigidly to the past and the original interpretations of the founder’s teachings. </li><li class="ql-align-justify">Spirituality embraces change and the evolution of consciousness. With spiritual practice, ideas and interpretations change as individuals, societies, and the world move forward.</li></ul>

Traditional vs. Evolutionary Approach

Traditional religious beliefs, sometimes based upon rigid interpretations of key teachings, can create an exclusive worldview that isolates those who may not share their views or interpretations. Spirituality favors an inclusive approach. In the recognition that pure spirit is a unifying force, no one is left out. You are part of the universal hologram, all gods and goddesses in disguise.

Exclusive vs. Inclusive

Through religion, you are taught to have faith in God or the scriptures as being the infallible and ultimate truth of reality.Spirituality doesn’t dismiss faith; however, it often leans more heavily on direct experience of the soul or divinity.

Belief vs. Spiritual Experience

Despite the best of intentions, religions can sometimes contain a subtle (or not so subtle) undercurrent of fear woven into their teachings. By contrast, spirituality typically discards the vestiges of fear and worry in favor of a more loving, compassionate approach to life—and death.

Fear vs. Love

These comparisons aren’t meant to be absolutes or an attempt to polarize one against the other. Religious beliefs and spiritual beliefs differ in the ways in which they are practiced.Whichever path or combination of the two you follow is the personal and subjective expression of your journey of awakening.

All In All

I've always seen myself get trapped in the fine line that seperates religion from spirituality, the two seem to be interconnected however when you take a deeper dive u see how seperate they are.

The line between religion and spirituality can be very fine, and they are similar in many ways. How do we tell the difference between spirituality and religion?

Religion vs. Spirituality: The Difference Between Them

<ul><li>Thinking in extremes. Using words like always, never, must, should, horrible, perfect etc</li><li>This type of thinking results in extreme emotions and can make a situation worse.</li><li>The key to resolve black and white thinking is to look at reality in a more nuanced manner and get honest with ourselves</li><li>Instead of saying ‘you never do something’ say that ‘she does these sometimes’.</li></ul>

Black and white thinking 

<ul><li>It justifies you.</li><li>It excuses you from work.</li><li>It protects you from feelings extreme emotions like disappointment, sadness etc.</li><li>It helps you feel powerless.</li><li>It kinda feels good.</li></ul>

Why do we think in ‘black or white’

<ul><li>Notice extreme words like 'always', 'never', 'horrible' etc.</li><li>Take a deep breath and slow down.</li><li>Name the emotion - like I feel angry, for example I feel  </li><li>Reframe your thoughts by - </li></ul><ol><li>Use both/and - You can feel two emotions at the same time. Eg I am smart and valuable but i make mistakes too.</li><li>Look for exceptions like "my husband does the dishes sometimes"</li></ol><ul><li>Be specific about the problem. Specify what’s troubling you. Instead of saying 'everything is horrible' describe what specifically is horrible.</li><li>Be accountable. What can be done to help the situation</li></ul>

Reframing black and white thinking

Reframe your thinking to see reality as more nuanced and varied.

Get the free guide to this episode: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com/pl/2147654246 Looking for affordable online counseling? My sponsor, BetterHelp, connects you to a licensed professional from the comfort of your own home. Try it now for 10% off your first month: https://betterhelp.com/therapyinanutshell Learn more in one of my in-depth mental health courses: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com/?utm_medium=YTDescription&utm_source=YouTube Black-and-white thinking is when you take a situation and think about it in an extreme way, you push out all the nuance and turn it into something as intense as possible. You can usually recognize it when you use words like “Always, Never, Perfect, Terrible, Everything, Everyone, Nothing, Nobody, Worst, or Best. The Arbinger Institute calls these “Horribilizations” You take something and horriblize it. Notice how in these situations, black and white thinking exaggerates the situation. A husband says to his wife: “You NEVER do the dishes! I ALWAYS have to clean up after you!” Depressed Young Adult: “EVERYthing is awful. The world is a TERRIBLE place. Climate change is HOPELESS. I’ll NEVER be able to succeed. I’m NO good at math” Someone at work: My boss is the WORST communicator. A young mother: “I’m just a TERRIBLE person” or “She has it ALL together, she’s such a SAINT” Each time, the person takes a difficult situation and makes it horrible. They use the most extreme word. Never. Always. Everything. Hopeless. Terrible. The more extreme your thinking, the more intense your emotions will be, and the more likely you are to be depressed or anxious. But Black and White thinking also makes you helpless to escape that depression or anxiety. And it’s a lie. When you use B&W thinking, you are usually distorting nuanced reality by ignoring the good and exaggerating the bad. You’re lying. If it’s so awful, why do we do it? You subconsciously like black and white thinking because it serves a function in the short term. And like a drug, it makes you suffer in the long term. So what function does it serve? 00:00 Introduction to Emotional Reactivity 00:38 How to Identify Black and White Thinking 02:36 Why do we "like" black and white thinking? 05:52 How to be less emotionally reactive 06:15 How to reframe black and white thinking 07:10 How to think in the gray 10:15 summary of how to be less emotionally reactive Support my mission on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/therapyinanutshell Sign up for my newsletter: https://www.therapyinanutshell.com?utm_medium=YTDescription&utm_source=YouTube Check out my favorite self-help books: https://kit.co/TherapyinaNutshell/best-self-help-books Check out my podcast, Therapy in a Nutshell: https://tinpodcast.podbean.com/ Therapy in a Nutshell and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health. In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction. And deeper than all of that, the Gospel of Jesus Christ orients my personal worldview and sense of security, peace, hope, and love https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/comeuntochrist/believe If you are in crisis, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ or 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or your local emergency services. Copyright Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC

Get the free guide to this episode: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com/pl/2147654246

Looking for affordable online therapy? My sponsor, BetterHelp, connects you to a licensed professional from the comfort of your own home. Try it now for 10% off your first month: https://betterhelp.com/therapyinanutshell

Learn more in one of my in-depth mental health courses: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com/?utm_medium=YTDescription&utm_source=YouTube

Black-and-white thinking is when you take a situation and think about it in an extreme way, you push out all the nuance and turn it into something as intense as possible. You can usually recognize it when you use words like “Always, Never, Perfect, Terrible, Everything, Everyone, Nothing, Nobody, Worst, or Best. The Arbinger Institute calls these “Horribilizations” You take something and horriblize it. 

Notice how in these situations, black and white thinking exaggerates the situation. 
A husband says to his wife: “You NEVER do the dishes! I ALWAYS have to clean up after you!”
Depressed Young Adult: “EVERYthing is awful. The world is a TERRIBLE place. Climate change is HOPELESS.  I’ll NEVER be able to succeed. I’m NO good at math”  
Someone at work: My boss is the WORST communicator. 
A young mother: “I’m just a TERRIBLE person” or “She has it ALL together, she’s such a SAINT”
Each time, the person takes a difficult situation and makes it horrible. They use the most extreme word. Never. Always. Everything. Hopeless. Terrible. 

The more extreme your thinking, the more intense your emotions will be, and the more likely you are to be depressed or anxious. But Black and White thinking also makes you helpless to escape that depression or anxiety. And it’s a lie. When you use B&W thinking, you are usually distorting nuanced reality by ignoring the good and exaggerating the bad. You’re lying. 

If it’s so awful, why do we do it? 
You subconsciously like black and white thinking because it serves a function in the short term. And like a drug, it makes you suffer in the long term. So what function does it serve?

00:00 Introduction to Emotional Reactivity
00:38 How to Identify Black and White Thinking
02:36 Why do we "like" black and white thinking?
05:52 How to be less emotionally reactive
06:15 How to reframe black and white thinking
07:10 How to think in the gray
10:15 summary of how to be less emotionally reactive
Support my mission on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/therapyinanutshell
Sign up for my newsletter: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com/free-resources
Check out my favorite self-help books: https://kit.co/TherapyinaNutshell/best-self-help-books
Check out my podcast, Therapy in a Nutshell: https://tinpodcast.podbean.com/

Therapy in a Nutshell and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health.
In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction. 
And deeper than all of that, the Gospel of Jesus Christ orients my personal worldview and sense of security, peace, hope, and love https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/comeuntochrist/believe

If you are in crisis, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ or 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or your local emergency services.
Copyright Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC

Welcome to my passion project! I’m Emma McAdam, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and my mission is to make mental health resources easier to access. I take therapy skills and psychological research and condense them down into bite-sized nuggets of help. 

As a licensed therapist, one thing I’ve noticed is that most people have no idea of what they can do to improve depression, anxiety, or other mental illness. 

I’m here to spread the message that while mental illness is real, it’s common, it’s debilitating, it’s also treatable. There are dozens of research-backed approaches to treating depression, anxiety, and other mental illness. Change, growth, and healing are possible. Please keep courage! Try one little thing every day to improve your life and health, and things can get so much better! 
I am not currently taking any new clients, but you can find a therapist with my sponsor: BetterHelp.com/therapyinanutshell

Therapy in a Nutshell

How to Be Less Emotionally Reactive: Black and White Thinking

How to Reframe Black and White Thinking and become less emotionally reactive

<ul><li>Improve information diet. You can add intentionality to your information consumption by asking yourself, "Can this be included in my newsletter?"</li><li>Build a habit of creating. Committing to a regular publishing schedule forces you to create on a consistent basis.</li><li>Collect your ideas in one place. Your newsletter becomes home to your ideas.</li><li>Repurpose content for social media. E.g. You can turn the main points in your newsletter into Twitter threads.</li><li>Find like-minded people. Sharing your thoughts online generates conversation and connections with people who resonate with your ideas.</li></ul>

Why write a newsletter?

<ul><li>Lower the stakes. If an email newsletter is scary, write a thread on Twitter every week. Prove to yourself that you can produce a collection of ideas and notes in under an hour.</li><li>Start writing to become more creative. Our best ideas come to us when writing. </li><li>Realize that playing small doesn't benefit anyone. Your readers benefit the most if they can learn from your ideas.</li><li>Connect with your "why". Why did you start writing in the first place?</li></ul>

How to overcome limiting beliefs

A nice analogy for creating your content flywheel.

Run Your Newsletter Like a Restaurant

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