Lol. This is like elementary school all over again. We need to make friends because we need friends. While old friends are , nothing stays the same forever. They move away or have their time taken up by child-rearing or their careers. Without friends, loneliness can quietly grow around you and chronic loneliness <a href="https://theconversation.com/loneliness-on-its-way-to-becoming-britains-most-lethal-condition-94775">can be lethal </a>— the equivalent impact of 15 <a href="https://www.inverse.com/article/61231-smoking-addiction-brain-cell-change">cigarettes </a>a day on mortality rates.

Why Do We Need To Make Friends

1. The Lack of TrustResearch shows people found it harder to put their trust in someone new and fully invest in them as a friend compared to when they were younger. Especially the women. As adults, we have greater self-awareness than children. While that is often positive, it also means we’re more aware of the risks of being judged, of being rejected and of other people not having the purest of intentions. We've all seen and heard of the nasty things people could do with what little informafion they get from you.

Why Is It Hard To Make Friends

For most of us, obligations increase with age: demanding work schedules, involved family lives and so on; with these obligations it can be hard to carve out time to invest in a promising new friend-- to really get to know them and to share a part of you with them.

Lack Of Time

So how long does it take for people to become friends? US researchers have tried to quantify this: roughly 50 hrs of shared contact for acquaintances to become casual friends. More than 200 hrs to become close friends? Even longer in Asian countries where personal connection is important, professional interactions with colleagues don't count and casual check-ins and joking around are just as important.

How Long Does It Take For People To Become Friends

There are many other barriers stopping us from having the friendships we want. <ul><li>Having an introverted personality</li><li>health barriers</li><li>personal insecurities</li><li>maintaining a formal facade and not allowing potential friends in (fornfear of rejection)</li><li>Illness and disability (Older people) </li></ul>

Other barriers Preventing Us From Forming Friendships 

1. BUILD FRIENDSHIPS FOR TEN MINUTES A DAYTen min a day may be all you need to maintain existing friendships and build new ones. Send a text, forward a meme, add to the group chat or give someone a quick call. 2. MAKE THE MOST OF ANY TIME SPENT WITH POTENTIAL FRIENDSWhen you do get the chance to properly spend time with a friend or acquaintance, make the most of it and be present. Avoid distractions if possible, keep social media for the couch at home.

How Can We Get Better At Making Friends

Yes, there is a risk in being vulnerable – but there is also the potential to connect on a meaningful level with another person who may very well become a good friend. You are in control of how much you trust and how much you open up. If you struggle with trust, share personal information slowly. A friend who truly likes you wouldn't pry.

3. LEAN INTO YOUR VULNERABILITY

Research suggests chronic loneliness can be lethal-the equivalent impact of 15 cigarettes a day on mortality rates

Many people try to keep their circle of old friends as long as possible, given the trust they may have built up over many years.

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

mentalhealth

Mental Health

communication

Communication

loveandrelationships

Love & Relationships

How to make friends as an adult: 3 psychology-backed tips

Most people think love is wanting. Love is desire. A love story starts with a pre relationship flame, relationship commitment and ends with a heart break or happily ever after. But not always.<ul><li class="ql-align-justify"> Ever heard of Gamophobia? It is the fear of commitment. It can have its own forms and levels. For some its marriage and for some its the fear of being in a relationship. </li><li class="ql-align-justify">Now the reason can be many. Fear of being vulnerable, fear of breakups, misunderstandings and sometimes even the thought of us being emotionally unstable or unavailable. Reasons can be indeed many. </li></ul>

Complexities Of Mind

Because it is fear of commitment, you also get a fear of being emotionally close to someone or having feelings for someone. As if it happens it will turn into a fight with our own selves.<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">But this doesn't mean not being able to love. You do catch feeling and you won't accept that. Here comes the fear of acceptance.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">This creates the notion of philophobia that is the fear of loving someone.</li></ul>

Does That Mean Not Being Able To Love? 

Isn't it also love when two people don't wanna be in a relationship but still love each other. Still care for each other. There isn't commitment of future or the tags of girlfriend and boyfriend. There's no expectations of being there always and forever. You will procastinate less about future and focus more on the bond itself. Many a times in commitment we stay even without feelings or mindfulness just becoz of the Promise.But do you really want someone stick to you because they have to? Or want them to be with you because they want to? Without commitment you can walk away being honest.

Its Beautiful Even Without Commitments

You explore more when you feel the need to answer your questions about yourself. And what you find always stays being a part in you.

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

A Perspective Of Love

The relationship is true until you find that the other partner is fulfilling your needs and matches your requirements else it is a time pass relationship.MORAL:EVERY RELATIONSHIP CAN BE TRUE AND CAN BE TIME PASS EVERYTHING DEPENDS ON THAT EVIL BRAIN

Relationship

Feelings: Love involves a lot of feelings. A lot. And they are so intense that half of the time we completely lost it. In a timepass relationship there's hardly any feeling involved.

Feeling

Care: When you love someone,you care. You are concerned about that person all the time and are willing to do anything as long as they remain happy. In a random relationship that's not much the case. It's not necessary that there's no care or feeling involved at all but in comparison to love It's not as intense.

Care

Longevity: relationships guided by love last much longer than random meaningless relationship.

How Much It's Susta

Sacrifice: Love demands a lot of sacrifices. Not every couples who are in love are absolutely compatible. Some can be totally different from each other. Hence,to make it work they have to make a lot of adjustments and sacrifices on both the sides. In case of a random relationship,there is not much efforts or interest that would prompt someone to make efforts or sacrifices for the other one. There's no force of love between them that compels them to make things work

Everything Comes With A Price

Relationship.....❤️ Or 💔

Love cannot be measured by mere actions. It has internal willingness and compassion towars somebody or something. Some feel it as obligation and some feel as the way of leading their life.

Love, Compassion And Determination

Often sacrifice is termed as a negative expression but the term agitated by compassion give rise to sacrifice. Often people sacrifice and love at same time.

Sacrifice Is Nothing But A Way Of Compassion

One of the most simplest thoughst are " Hatred is born in order to protect love". Rest all is defined by sheer stories of various authors.

Right Idea Of Hatred

I read kite runner quite while ago and found these 3 ideas impacting my life to this date and hence making this as my favourite book so far hence defining love, compassion, hate and gratitude at same time.

The #1 New York Times bestselling novel beloved by millions of readers the world over. “A vivid and engaging story that reminds us how long his people [of Afghanistan] have been struggling to triumph over the forces of violence—forces that continue to threaten them even today." –New York Times Book Review The unforgettable, heartbreaking story of the unlikely friendship between a wealthy boy and the son of his father’s servant, caught in the tragic sweep of history, The Kite Runner transports readers to Afghanistan at a tense and crucial moment of change and destruction. A powerful story of friendship, it is also about the power of reading, the price of betrayal, and the possibility of redemption; and an exploration of the power of fathers over sons—their love, their sacrifices, their lies. Since its publication in 2003 Kite Runner has become a beloved, one-of-a-kind classic of contemporary literature, touching millions of readers, and launching the career of one of America's most treasured writers.

books

Books

Winter, 1975: Afghanistan, a country on the verge of an internal coup. 12-year-old Amir is desperate to win the approval of his father, one of the richest merchants in Kabul. He's failed to do so through academia or brawn but the one area they connect is the annual kite fighting tournament.

Khaled Hosseini is an accomplished writer whose work has resonated with readers around the world. Khaled Hosseini has published several books that explore a range of topics, from fiction to nonfiction, and has received critical acclaim for the ability to weave compelling narratives. Khaled Hosseini's writing style is known for its depth and authenticity, and has earned quite a loyal following of readers.

Khaled Hosseini

The Kite Runner

Do you need to end a friendship?Sometimes we have to break up with certain people.See why fakeness can be so damaging and how to protect yourself.﻿

Fake Friend Syndrome

The biggest difference between a frenemy and a fake friend is that you know there’s bad blood between the two of you… whereas a fake friendship can feel like a real one, but it can be more damaging than good for you.Fake friends are the people you hang around with that drain your energy. You don’t feel comfortable, genuine, or emotionally secure around fake friends. You also wouldn’t trust your fake friend with the keys to your home.

Signs Of A Fake Friend

Here’s the big idea:We absolutely can grow out of friends, just like we grow out of clothes. Our taste and preferences change over time.…And this is not a bad thing. Its ok to let eachother go.

Dont Waste Time

True friends are people who are there for you during life’s up and down moments. They are genuinely happy for you when you succeed, and will be there for you when you ask them for help that is within their boundaries.Real friendship is a two way process, making you feel loved, happy, and supported, unlike fake friends.

A True Friend

These are some signs that you have a genuine friendship, and not a fake one:<ul><li>Real friends give us their attention and are present to our needs.</li><li>They support us when we are feeling down.</li><li>True friends are genuine and keep their promises.</li><li>They are there for you even if they can’t get something from you.</li><li>They accept your flaws.</li><li>They actively listen rather than focus on themselves.</li><li>True friends make us want to become better.</li></ul>

Need A Breakup? 

Obligatory Friend: Someone you don’t enjoy spending time with, but end up spending time with because you feel guilty. It’s a habit you do not know how to stop.It all starts with the Spheres of Interest. When you first meet someone, you are not sure how many of your interests and their interests overlap. You both have spheres of interest, and you wonder how much overlaps..

Fake Friendship Trap

Sometimes interests can be points of relevance such as:<ul><li>Working at the same company</li><li>Living in the same building</li><li>Going to the same school</li><li>Playing on the same team</li><li>Being a part of the same organization</li><li>Having gone on the same trip</li></ul>The more you have in common, the more relevant someone is to you.In great relationships, the Spheres of Interest move closer together. Its natural when the circles move apart. Its how you handle it that counts.. be logical. Not emotional.

Do you actually like spending time with them?

When you force yourself to spend time with someone or pretend to have a good time, you either are lying to yourself, or lying to them. This is not truthful living. You are not serving anyone by maintaining this ruse.Having history with someone is not enough fuel for a real friendship lasting forever.

Be Real About It

There comes a point in some unhealthy, unfulfilling relationships where the friendship bubble needs bursting. The lies. The faking it. The pretending everything is fine. It needs to stop. Friendship break-ups should be treated EXACTLY like romantic break-ups. The same way we don't tolerate toxic behaviour from a potential partner, we shouldn't tolerate toxic energy from a friendship of any time span.

The Burst

Are there people who you are close with for the wrong reasons? Are there people who you are lying to yourself about? Are there people you dread hanging out with?Letting them go helps you both.When we say no to relationships that don’t serve us, we make room for relationships that do. There is no need to lie and make up BS to prolong the inevitable. Just be honest and mature about it.

Good Bye.

Guilt is not fuel.History is not enough.Feigned closeness is deception.Be honest.Have more time for real relationships.Live in truth and with real friends.

Relationship Rule.

artsandculture

Society, Arts & Culture

Why Fakeness is Ruining You and How to End Toxic Energy 

Maintaining close friendships is becoming increasingly challenging for ambitious, career-oriented people. The problem can feel worse considering how we feel when we lose touch with close friends or work buddies. However, making the most of our friendships and connections is important to our existence. We can maintain friendships without sacrificing the pursuit of our dreams.

Maintaining good friendships

Your career is probably busy enough, and without an intentional plan to maintain your friendships, they will likely grow old and fade into non-existence. A simple way to preserve close friendships is by keeping them on a schedule.<ul><li>Regularly and consistently call your friends rather than occasionally liking their pictures on Facebook.</li><li>Make plans with your friends to go somewhere at least once a month.</li><li>If the distance is a problem, video calls can help to create lasting experiences.</li></ul>

Be intentional

Never assume or jump to conclusions about people's actions and motives. It will most likely end up in a misunderstanding. Instead, ask your friend for clarification before you make your conclusions.

Never assume

Close friends are often clear sounding boards that can prevent us from making the wrong choices. A word from a friend or some new insight from a friendly conversation can be just what you need for your role in your office. Losses could feel easier to manage if you have someone with whom you can share your experiences.

Reach out for needed perspectives

When you set ambitious career goals, it is important not to sacrifice close friends in the process. Recognising that friendships demand prioritisation and effort can increase your career performance and life satisfaction.

Balancing friendship and work

Not all friendships are worth it. If you feel strained by a friend or realise that your deeds of friendship are not reciprocated, it may be time to cut ties. The length of time you've been friends with someone does not correlate with the strength of the friendship.

Know when to pull away

If you have drifted away from a close friend or lost contact, you can try to reignite the friendship. Intentionally start working on your friendship to improve it.

Reignite old friendships

In recent times, maintaining close friendships has become increasingly challenging for ambitious, career-oriented men and women. The problem becomes even more pronounced considering how sad or low…

career

Career

Practical Steps to Balance Work and Friendship

A common cold, exhaustion, stress, hunger, sleep deprivation, even allergies can make you depressed, which leads to negative thoughts. In many cases, depression can be caused by negative thinking, itself

What Is Negative Thinking

The study found that a habit of prolonged negative thinking diminishes your brain's ability to think, reason, and form memories. Essentially draining your brain's resources. Another study reported in the journal American Academy of Neurology found that cynical thinking also produces a greater dementia risk.

How Negative Thinking Affect Our Mind

While everyone experiences negative thoughts now and again, negative thinking that seriously affects the way you think about yourself and the world and even interferes with work/study and everyday functioning could be a symptom of a mental illness, including depression, anxiety disorders, personality disorders.

Is negative thinking a disease?

I'm Not as Lucky as Other People. ...I Don't Think I'll Ever… ...I Should Be Better Than I Am. ...I Am Not Strong Enough. ...Nobody Cares. ...I Am Not Smart Enough. ...If I Don't Do Well, I'm a Failure. ...Bad Things Will Happen.

common negative thoughts we all have and what we should think in

Quite simply, no matter how positive of a person you are, negative people can affect your life, unless you take the right precautions. The effects are also drastic. ... Negative attitudes can also affect your intelligence and ability to think

Can a negative person affect you?

Emotions Really Are Contagious. ... Acknowledge your funk. ... Give yourself a pep talk. ... Get your friend out of their head. ... Set boundaries. ... Step away from technology. ... Show gratitude. ... Practice being kind to yourself

How to Stay Positive When Everyone Around You Is Negative

Detach. Remember that the way people act has nothing to do with you. ... Avoid Blame. Don't blame, assume, or attack them. ... Respond Calmly. Respond the way you would want them to talk to you. ... Be Firm. Be firm with your boundaries. ... Find The Positive. Identify what gives you positive energy.

How To Deal With Negative People

obstacles are a part of life. ...Practice gratitude. ...Keep a gratitude journal.Open yourself up to humor. ...Spend time with positive people. ...Practice positive self-talk. ...Identify your areas of negativity. ...Start every day on a positive note.21-Feb-2019

Focus on the good things Challenging situation 

Hello beautiful people good evening like me you also bothered by negative thoughts and damage your life.....

health

Health

Negitivty to possitivty

There are all kinds of theories about how to shape your life to get the most happiness, the most peace of mind, the most whatever it is you hope to achieve in your life. And then there is reality.The truth: it’s not that hard to cultivate positive attitude--optimism, expectancy, and enthusiasm – because these three mindsets make everything in life and in business easier. Why wouldn’t you want to have an easier life?

5 Ways to Shape Your Life With Positivity

You shape your life with the attitudes, either positive or negative. These attitudes translate into activities that reflect your positive or negative mindset.U don’t have to get up in the morning with a negative attitude about what’s going to happen that day. You have a choice. Of course, there are challenges, struggles, and unpleasant encounters, but you can choose a positive approach to each detail of your life. By steadfastly holding on to your strong and grounded core beliefs, you can achieve what you truly desire every day. This is the way you honor your life with a profound sense of self

1. Control your attitude.

Your core beliefs about who you are and how you present yourself in your personal and professional world will consistently keep away the negatives and firm up the positives. However, if you choose to let in the bad energy of arguments and other people’s anger, you will slowly sink into quicksand. Your life will be stall mode. Nothing accomplished.To Today’sorld is full of haters and seekers of division. Avoiding situations that cause you to feel bad about either yourself or others is crucial in maintaining the positive. Limit the bad stuff and keep your inner life in positive control.

Control what you let into your life.

One of the most effective ways to strengthen a positive mindset is to meditate 10 minutes a day. Let all negative thoughts go by, release their hold on you, and focus more on positive mantras instead of limiting opinions.The ability to let thoughts go by without labeling them as good or bad gives you time and space for inspiration, and even perhaps, motivation to create the most positive mindset, you'll have consistent clarity of thought and the ability to manage your feelings when events don't go exactly the way you'd prefer. Then everything takes on a positive spin.

Create a litany of positive thoughts.

Do you think you are more hard-wired to think negatively? If you do, you will certainly use more negative words on a daily basis. But turn that around and describe yourself as hard-wired to think positively. If positive is your bent, then the words that come out of your mouth aren't just a reflection of what's in your brain--they're programming your brain how to think. Therefore, if you want to have a positive attitude, your vocabulary must be consistently positive.

Watch your words.

There is nothing worse than listening to whiners and complainers. To ward off people who have an ax to grind with the world, listen closely to how whiners and complainers couch their emotions. You can usually spot a “negativo” within the first five minutes of conversation. They spread their “poor me” life before you and tell you everything that’s wrong with their existence. And they want everyone who can hear them to be as miserable as they are in their world because they can't bear to see somebody else happy and satisfied.

Ignore whiners and complainers.

Hello beautiful people today's post may a bit longer but have the power to change and you want it so let's go through this ......

Way to shape

<ul><li>A consequence is the result or direct effect of an action. </li></ul>> Consequences give your child the message that he is capable of taking responsibility for problems and can handle them.<ul><li>Punishment is defined by Merriam-Webster as “suffering, pain, or loss that serves as retribution. </li></ul>> Punishment can cause resentment and rarely teaches a child what you want him to learn. It also can be damaging to your child’s self-esteem and does not facilitate secure attachment.

Consequences versus punishment

<ul><li>It backfires. Punishment is almost always delivered with anger.</li><li>It is temporary. Punishment teaches children to respond out of fear rather than out of a desire to please or do the right thing.</li><li>It reinforces the child’s negative view of self. It creates an expectation by the child and others of additional bad behavior.</li><li>It provokes revenge, makes the child feel angry and resentful.</li><li>It maintains emotional distance. Punishment feeds into their defenses against being close and reinforces a “me against you” mentality.</li></ul>

Why punishment doesn’t work

Three steps:1. Tell your child to sit for a brief time to think about her behaviors and choices.2. When you are ready, not when your child demands, go to your child.3. If your child responds appropriately — with honesty and without blaming others — give praise, a big hug, a warm smile and the assurance that all is forgiven. If your child does not respond appropriately, say, “I guess you need more time to think it over. I’ll be back soon.”

Instead of punish

Parents are often unclear about the difference between consequences and punishment and the end result. 

Parents are often unclear about the difference between consequences and punishment -- and that's one reason efforts to discipline children can be ineffective.

parenting

Parenting

Consequences versus punishment 

<ul><li>Feeling what someone else feels</li><li>Actively listening to what they have to say</li><li>Not judging</li><li>Being aware of nuances and non-verbal cues</li><li>Discovering their perspective</li><li>Acknowledging everyone's feelings.</li></ul>Empathy is the ability to understand and share a person’s feelings. An empathetic person can feel someone else’s emotions, regardless of their personal experiences.You’re able to discover their perspective with awareness of non-verbal cues. You’re also able to simply listen without feeling forced to provide unwanted advice.

What is empathy? 

<ul><li>Having thoughts about what someone feels</li><li>When in conversation, giving unasked advice</li><li>Passing judgment</li><li>Only noticing the surface level issue</li><li>Understanding only from your perspective</li><li>Ignoring or suppressing your own emotions.</li></ul>Unlike empathy, practicing sympathy doesn’t mean you feel what someone else feels. Instead, you feel pity or sorry for someone else’s feelings.You feel bad for someone, but you don’t understand how they feel.A sympathetic approach only provides a surface-level understanding of someone else’s situation. This understanding is typically from your perspective, not theirs.

What is sympathy?

Learn the main differences between empathy vs sympathy and similar concepts like compassion and apathy. Plus, read about the best ways to practice empathy.

Empathy vs. sympathy: understanding key differences

Find 100+ Facts about Love & Relationships - Curated from trusted sources like  Books, Podcasts & Articles - Genuine Insights from like-minded Users like You!

How to make friends as an adult: 3 psychology-backed tips

A Perspective Of Love

Relationship.....❤️ Or 💔

The Kite Runner

Why Fakeness is Ruining You and How to End Toxic Energy

Practical Steps to Balance Work and Friendship

Negitivty to possitivty

Way to shape

Consequences versus punishment

Empathy vs. sympathy: understanding key differences

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It's time to
Read like a Pro.