<ul>
<li>We lie to ourselves to protect our self-images, which allows us to act immorally while maintaining a clear conscience.</li>
<li>According to the very latest research, self deception may have even evolved to help us to persuade others</li>
<li>This research might explain questionable behavior in many areas of life, far beyond the headline-grabbing scams in recent years.</li>
</ul>

The Concept Of Self-Deception

<ul><li>Self-deception ensures that we can continue to see ourselves as good people, even when our actions would suggest otherwise</li><li>This could be relevant to financial advisors, but also in private healthcare.</li><li>The need to argue a point makes us think we're smarter than we are, research shows.</li><li>Delusions of grandeur can be the cause of much of the political polarisation we see today.</li><li>We can fool ourselves into believing things that are true even if there is evidence to the contrary.</li></ul>

Fooling Our Sense Of Morality

<ul><li>Covert Narcissists may quietly and strategically fish for acknowledgement or compliments.</li><li>At work, they might cosy up to you and a colleague, only to badmouth each of you to the other, pitting you against each other so that the covert narcissist can look like the model employee in comparison.</li><li>Driving this behavior is an internalized sense of shame, so they overcompensate by trying to make themselves seem superior.</li></ul>

Covert Narcissists

While overt narcissists are more obvious and aggressive, bullying others or hogging the spotlight, covert narcissists can be sweet and ingratiating, manipulating their victims over long periods before they realize what's going on.Establishing boundaries is critical with any kind of narcissist, and since covert ones tend to do a better job at keeping up a likable or inoffensive appearance, it's better to err on the side of caution..

Worse Than Regular Narcissists

Self-deception can fool us into believing our own lies – and even make us more convincing.

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

How self-deception allows people to lie

Beginning a new learning journey can be exciting. Beginnings are full of hope and possibilities. Starting something new can give us a glimpse of what could be if we stick with something long enough to see it through.Becoming aware of the following five learning stages and knowing that what you’re going through is completely normal may help you push through the sticking points of the learning process and keep going, even when you might have otherwise given up hope and quit.

The Five Learning Stages

The first stage of learning is called unconscious incompetence. In this stage of learning, we don’t know what we don’t know.For most people, whether you’re trying to learn a new language, play a new instrument, or learn complicated jiu-jitsu moves, this first stage of learning starts as fun and exciting. In the beginning, any flashes of success feel monumental.

Stage One: Unconscious Incompetence

This is the rude awakening you get when you realize all you don’t know. For many people, if they didn’t already quit in the blissful beginner stage, this second stage — or the suck — does them in.The suck is where it slowly dawns on you just how much you don’t know. You start learning the rules of the game. You start trying to apply those rules, and as you do, get more in your head. You start to force things and can no longer get into flow. Even if you are making progress, you may feel like you’re going backwards because you’re now aware of all you’re doing wrong.

Stage two: Conscious Incompetence

During the conscious competence learning stage, you know how to reach your goal but have to concentrate hard on your task. Nothing is automatic.In this stage, your new learnings are still fragile and not yet cemented in your neural circuits — meaning you haven’t committed your new learning to your long-term memory. Because of this, you have to practice diligently and often or risk forgetting what you’ve learned.

Stage Three: Conscious Competence

Stage four of learning is when you fully internalize all that you’ve learned. You can execute your new skills automatically and without having to think beforehand. This is the stage of learning when you’re most likely to regularly get into the zone because you can stop thinking so much. Instead, you just let your body or mind take over and do what you already know how to do.Whatever your new skill, this is when things feel less like a struggle and more flowy. Reaching this stage starts to feel fun and rewarding — like all your hard work has finally paid off.

Stage Four: Unconscious Competence

The last stage of learning is when you can teach what you do unconsciously to others. It requires a deep understanding of what you’ve learned and an ability to communicate it to beginners.Many people never get here, and the reality is that the younger you learned, the less likely you will be able to teach well. This is why high-level athletes that have been training since they were young are not always the best teachers. They have so deeply internalized all they’ve learned that they’re not always sure how to teach it to others.

Stage Five: Conscious Unconscious Competence

Beginning a new learning journey can be exciting. Beginnings are full of hope and possibilities. Starting something new can give us a glimpse of what could be if we stick with something long enough…

career

Career

education

Learning & Education

The Five Stages of Learning and How to Apply Them to Any Skill

Entertainment has changed in the last five years, especially during the pandemic. <ul><li>Much of the industry is now also present on social media. Every production expects followers. </li><li>Streaming has taken over.  </li><li>Limited series are more common now where the entire story is wrapped up in one season. </li></ul> While the entertainment industry has changed, Terry still has a structure. Wherever he finds himself, he finds a place to work out. His eating habits stay the same, and he goes to bed as early as possible.

The changing entertainment industry

Terry noticed that a lack of focus harms his career. You lose focus when you constantly check e-mails, tweets, comments, etc. It slowly changes you.  Spending less time on social media is often more productive. When you have to be on social media, people will just pick up again as if you’ve never left.

A lack of focus is harmful

Terry reads a book or more a week. He thinks reading encourages empathy for different people. It is also a great way to stay level-headed in a world of social media and sensationalism.  Reading also calms you down when you feel overwhelmed. It’s like enjoying a sunset.

Reading brings perspective

Terry was successful, he was famous and lovable, but his wife was ready to leave.  Don’t fall into the trap of self-righteousness. Stay humble. When you become self-righteous, you can do terrible inhuman things to other people.

Success doesn’t mean happiness

There are two ways to be self-righteous in Hollywood. <ul><li>You believe you have a divine right because you’re born this way.</li><li>You think you’ve suffered more than anyone else. </li></ul>However, suffering doesn’t mean you are better than everyone else.  Terry thought he was the biggest victim. His father was abusive, he’s black, and he grew up poor. Terry used his self-righteousness to manipulate people and gain things he didn’t earn. However, excuses only work for a short period. Terry advises not to compare your suffering to other people. It’s not a contest.

Because you suffer doesn’t mean you are better

Terry found pornography to be a numbing device, something he always returned to but always left him unfulfilled. That made him turn to it more to feel fulfilled, only to be left empty again. So, it was a cycle and a secret he tried to keep from his family. The change came when he confronted himself with his lies and excuses. Going for therapy changed his life, especially addiction treatment and the 12 steps.

Pornography addiction

Revenge is making others pay for everything they ever did to you. However, you can either have success, or you can have revenge. You can’t have both. Revenge is trying to control what is not in your control. We can’t control people and what they say to us. The score is never settled. Violence promises you fulfilment but ultimately sets you up for a very hollow existence.

Don’t live life as if you’re in a revenge movie

Men often respond with aggression to prove that they are not weak. However, the greatest boxers in the world know how to take punches. In the long run, it's about how much you can take and keep going.  When you become responsible, you don't have to react to negative remarks. You can choose how you will respond. If anybody calls you out, you are expected to knock them out. But you can go against decades of programming and say no to that.

Masculinity and hyper aggression

There's no need to compete with other people. A movement that doesn't start with reconciliation is not worth supporting. We have to reconcile men with women. We have to reconcile black to white. If we don't, we're just postponing the war. We'll strike again. With reconciliation, there's an agreement and understanding. There's no winning until we reconcile.

Any movement should start with reconciliation

Terry Crews is an American actor, television presenter, and ex-NFL player. He gives insight into his struggles.

Terry Crews on Masculinity, True Power, Therapy, and Resisting Cynicism | Brought to you by Athletic Greens all-in-one nutritional supplement, Gravity weighted blankets, and Allform premium, modular furniture. More on all three below.Terry Crews (@terrycrews) can do it all: author, action-movie hero, sitcom star, children’s book illustrator, advertising pitchman, playable video game character, talent show host, high-end furniture designer, and human rights activist. The list goes on and on. Terry’s new memoir is Tough: My Journey to True Power. In it, he chronicles the story of how he went from being a six-year-old boy with a goofy, toothless smile to being utterly selfish and angry to being a man who can finally acknowledge his own weaknesses and vulnerabilities and use his experiences to help motivate those around him. Terry has starred as a series regular in three consecutive TV series that have surpassed the coveted 100-episode mark: Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Are We There Yet? and Everybody Hates Chris. Terry is set to star in Tales of the Walking Dead and hosts NBC’s top-rated alternative series America’s Got Talent and its spin-offs, AGT Champions and AGT Extreme.He recently added yet another title, children’s book illustrator, to his resume for his first-of-its-kind augmented reality book, Come Find Me. Terry’s Crew is Terry’s latest children’s lit entry, a graphic novel set to be released in November 2022. Terry’s Crew provides insight into his childhood in Michigan and what it was like trying to find his place. In 2021, Terry and his wife, Rebecca King Crews, released an exclusive Audible audiobook, Stronger Together, sharing the staggering ups and downs of their relationship and how they have weathered the myriad crises that have rocked their marriage. Terry, a lifelong artist, released his furniture collection with Bernhardt Designs in 2017, which premiered at the International Contemporary Furniture Fair in New York and was awarded the prestigious “Best of NeoCon 2017.”Please enjoy!This episode is brought to you by Gravity weighted blankets! I place sleep at the top of my list for optimizing health, energy, and performance. If good sleep is in place, it helps everything else; if not, it hurts everything else. I've had sleep issues almost my entire life, which is why I’m always experimenting and adding great sleep aids. One of my new favorites is the Gravity Weighted Blanket. 72% of Gravity users have reported better, more restful sleep, and 76% have reported falling asleep faster and feeling more rested in the morning.Gravity has been named “Best Weighted Blanket” by CNN, Business Insider, Good Housekeeping, and many more. Gravity is offering my listeners a special discount: order a blanket of any size or weight and receive 15% off your order. Just go to GravityBlankets.com/Tim, and the discount will be automatically applied.*This episode is also brought to you by Athletic Greens. I get asked all the time, “If you could use only one supplement, what would it be?” My answer is usually AG1 by Athletic Greens, my all-in-one nutritional insurance. I recommended it in The 4-Hour Body in 2010 and did not get paid to do so. I do my best with nutrient-dense meals, of course, but AG further covers my bases with vitamins, minerals, and whole-food-sourced micronutrients that support gut health and the immune system. Right now, Athletic Greens is offering you their Vitamin D Liquid Formula free with your first subscription purchase—a vital nutrient for a strong immune system and strong bones. Visit AthleticGreens.com/Tim to claim this special offer today and receive the free Vitamin D Liquid Formula (and five free travel packs) with your first subscription purchase! That’s up to a one-year supply of Vitamin D as added value when you try their delicious and comprehensive all-in-one daily greens product.*This episode is also brought to you by Allform! If you’ve been listening to the podcast for a while, you’ve probably heard me talk about Helix Sleep mattresses, which I’ve been using since 2017. They also launched a company called Allform that makes premium, customizable sofas and chairs shipped right to your door—at a fraction of the cost of traditional stores. You can pick your fabric (and they’re all spill, stain, and scratch resistant), the sofa color, the color of the legs, and the sofa size and shape to make sure it’s perfect for you and your home.Allform arrives in just 3–7 days, and you can assemble it yourself in a few minutes—no tools needed. To find your perfect sofa and receive 20% off all orders, check out Allform.com/Tim.*For show notes and past guests on The Tim Ferriss Show, please visit tim.blog/podcast.Sign up for Tim’s email newsletter (5-Bullet Friday) at tim.blog/friday.For transcripts of episodes, go to tim.blog/transcripts.Discover Tim’s books: tim.blog/books.Follow Tim:Twitter: twitter.com/tferriss Instagram: instagram.com/timferrissYouTube: youtube.com/timferrissFacebook: facebook.com/timferriss LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/timferrissPast guests on The Tim Ferriss Show include Jerry Seinfeld, Hugh Jackman, Dr. Jane Goodall, LeBron James, Kevin Hart, Doris Kearns Goodwin, Jamie Foxx, Matthew McConaughey, Esther Perel, Elizabeth Gilbert, Terry Crews, Sia, Yuval Noah Harari, Malcolm Gladwell, Madeleine Albright, Cheryl Strayed, Jim Collins, Mary Karr, Maria Popova, Sam Harris, Michael Phelps, Bob Iger, Edward Norton, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Neil Strauss, Ken Burns, Maria Sharapova, Marc Andreessen, Neil Gaiman, Neil de Grasse Tyson, Jocko Willink, Daniel Ek, Kelly Slater, Dr. Peter Attia, Seth Godin, Howard Marks, Dr. Brené Brown, Eric Schmidt, Michael Lewis, Joe Gebbia, Michael Pollan, Dr. Jordan Peterson, Vince Vaughn, Brian Koppelman, Ramit Sethi, Dax Shepard, Tony Robbins, Jim Dethmer, Dan Harris, Ray Dalio, Naval Ravikant, Vitalik Buterin, Elizabeth Lesser, Amanda Palmer, Katie Haun, Sir Richard Branson, Chuck Palahniuk, Arianna Huffington, Reid Hoffman, Bill Burr, Whitney Cummings, Rick Rubin, Dr. Vivek Murthy, Darren Aronofsky, and many more.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

podcasts

Podcasts

Brought to you by Athletic Greens all-in-one nutritional supplement, Gravity weighted blankets, and Allform premium, modular furniture.Terry Crews (@terrycrews) can do it all: author, action-movie hero, sitcom star, children’s book illustrator, advertising pitchman, playable video game character, talent show host, high-end furniture designer, and human rights activist. The list goes on and on. Terry’s new memoir is Tough: My Journey to True Power. In it, he chronicles the story of how he went from being a six-year-old boy with a goofy, toothless smile to being utterly selfish and angry to being a man who can finally acknowledge his own weaknesses and vulnerabilities and use his experiences to help motivate those around him. Terry has starred as a series regular in three consecutive TV series that have surpassed the coveted 100-episode mark: Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Are We There Yet? and Everybody Hates Chris. Terry is set to star in Tales of the Walking Dead and hosts NBC’s top-rated alternative series America’s Got Talent and its spin-offs, AGT Champions and AGT Extreme.He recently added yet another title, children’s book illustrator, to his resume for his first-of-its-kind augmented reality book, Come Find Me. Terry’s Crew is Terry’s latest children’s lit entry, a graphic novel set to be released in November 2022. Terry’s Crew provides insight into his childhood in Michigan and what it was like trying to find his place. In 2021, Terry and his wife, Rebecca King Crews, released an exclusive Audible audiobook, Stronger Together, sharing the staggering ups and downs of their relationship and how they have weathered the myriad crises that have rocked their marriage. Terry, a lifelong artist, released his furniture collection with Bernhardt Designs in 2017, which premiered at the International Contemporary Furniture Fair in New York and was awarded the prestigious “Best of NeoCon 2017.”Please enjoy!This episode is brought to you by Gravity weighted blankets! I place sleep at the top of my list for optimizing health, energy, and performance. If good sleep is in place, it helps everything else; if not, it hurts everything else. I've had sleep issues almost my entire life, which is why I’m always experimenting and adding great sleep aids. One of my new favorites is the Gravity Weighted Blanket. 72% of Gravity users have reported better, more restful sleep, and 76% have reported falling asleep faster and feeling more rested in the morning.Gravity has been named “Best Weighted Blanket” by CNN, Business Insider, Good Housekeeping, and many more. Gravity is offering my listeners a special discount: order a blanket of any size or weight and receive 15% off your order. Just go to GravityBlankets.com/Tim, and the discount will be automatically applied.*This episode is also brought to you by Athletic Greens. I get asked all the time, “If you could use only one supplement, what would it be?” My answer is usually AG1 by Athletic Greens, my all-in-one nutritional insurance. I recommended it in The 4-Hour Body in 2010 and did not get paid to do so. I do my best with nutrient-dense meals, of course, but AG further covers my bases with vitamins, minerals, and whole-food-sourced micronutrients that support gut health and the immune system. Right now, Athletic Greens is offering you their Vitamin D Liquid Formula free with your first subscription purchase—a vital nutrient for a strong immune system and strong bones. Visit AthleticGreens.com/Tim to claim this special offer today and receive the free Vitamin D Liquid Formula (and five free travel packs) with your first subscription purchase! That’s up to a one-year supply of Vitamin D as added value when you try their delicious and comprehensive all-in-one daily greens product.*This episode is also brought to you by Allform! If you’ve been listening to the podcast for a while, you’ve probably heard me talk about Helix Sleep mattresses, which I’ve been using since 2017. They also launched a company called Allform that makes premium, customizable sofas and chairs shipped right to your door—at a fraction of the cost of traditional stores. You can pick your fabric (and they’re all spill, stain, and scratch resistant), the sofa color, the color of the legs, and the sofa size and shape to make sure it’s perfect for you and your home.Allform arrives in just 3–7 days, and you can assemble it yourself in a few minutes—no tools needed. To find your perfect sofa and receive 20% off all orders, check out Allform.com/Tim.*Hollywood life isn’t all glamorous red carpets and spotlights. What does an average working day look like for Terry, and what supplemental duty has he had to push back against? [07:43]A lot of busy people don’t get around to reading one or two books a week, but for Terry, it makes being busy all the more possible. [13:36]What are some realizations about success that have come to Terry while reading Walter Isaacson’s The Code Breaker and watching the Michael Jordan documentary The Last Dance? [15:04]What’s the biggest mistake a lot of people make — in every walk of life — that causes the most amount of unnecessary suffering? [19:29]How did Terry break himself of the habit of “victimology?” What initiated the event his family now refers to as “the D-Day moment,” and why did he carry a lifelong aversion to therapy that could have possibly helped him sooner? [23:32]What you should be prepared to do without if you’re intent on living life as if you’re in a revenge movie, and what Terry did to regain control of his own actions instead of defaulting to chaos. [33:52]Terry shares real-life examples that demonstrated — to his family as well as himself — that he could break destructive, impulsive patterns of behavior in favor of positive, responsible ones. [42:35]How endurance plays into the way Terry demonstrates strength these days compared to how he expressed it in his earlier, more bombastic iteration. [53:35]Why Terry believes the world determines winners way too early — and what we should be doing instead. [56:35]How can competition be the opposite of creativity if resistance is crucial to growth? Terry explains. [58:58]Terry’s thoughts on protest movements that don’t begin with the aim of reconciliation. [1:02:44]Terry illustrates why he really is a category of one — even when he sometimes lapses in the midst of trying to live his most teachable life. [1:05:04]Genius words from a (Thelonius) Monk, Terry’s war with cynicism, and other parting thoughts. [1:12:43]*For show notes and past guests on The Tim Ferriss Show, please visit tim.blog/podcast.For deals from sponsors of The Tim Ferriss Show, please visit tim.blog/podcast-sponsors.Sign up for Tim’s email newsletter (5-Bullet Friday) at tim.blog/friday.For transcripts of episodes, go to tim.blog/transcripts.Discover Tim’s books: tim.blog/books.Follow Tim:Twitter: twitter.com/tferriss Instagram: instagram.com/timferrissYouTube: youtube.com/timferrissFacebook: facebook.com/timferriss LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/timferrissPast guests on The Tim Ferriss Show include Jerry Seinfeld, Hugh Jackman, Dr. Jane Goodall, LeBron James, Kevin Hart, Doris Kearns Goodwin, Jamie Foxx, Matthew McConaughey, Esther Perel, Elizabeth Gilbert, Terry Crews, Sia, Yuval Noah Harari, Malcolm Gladwell, Madeleine Albright, Cheryl Strayed, Jim Collins, Mary Karr, Maria Popova, Sam Harris, Michael Phelps, Bob Iger, Edward Norton, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Neil Strauss, Ken Burns, Maria Sharapova, Marc Andreessen, Neil Gaiman, Neil de Grasse Tyson, Jocko Willink, Daniel Ek, Kelly Slater, Dr. Peter Attia, Seth Godin, Howard Marks, Dr. Brené Brown, Eric Schmidt, Michael Lewis, Joe Gebbia, Michael Pollan, Dr. Jordan Peterson, Vince Vaughn, Brian Koppelman, Ramit Sethi, Dax Shepard, Tony Robbins, Jim Dethmer, Dan Harris, Ray Dalio, Naval Ravikant, Vitalik Buterin, Elizabeth Lesser, Amanda Palmer, Katie Haun, Sir Richard Branson, Chuck Palahniuk, Arianna Huffington, Reid Hoffman, Bill Burr, Whitney Cummings, Rick Rubin, Dr. Vivek Murthy, Darren Aronofsky, and many more.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Tim Ferriss is a self-experimenter and bestselling author, best known for The 4-Hour Workweek, which has been translated into 40+ languages.  Newsweek calls him "the world's best human guinea pig," and The New York Times calls him "a cross between Jack Welch and a Buddhist monk."  In this show, he deconstructs world-class performers from eclectic areas (investing, chess, pro sports, etc.), digging deep to find the tools, tactics, and tricks that listeners can use.

The Tim Ferriss Show

#587: Terry Crews on Masculinity, True Power, Therapy, and Resisting Cynicism

Mastering any physical skill, such as playing an instrument or throwing a baseball, takes practice. Practice is repeating an action with the goal of improvement.

Mastering a skill

Our brains have two kinds of neural tissue:<ul><li>Grey matter processes information in the brain</li><li>White matter is mostly fatty tissue and nerve fibres.</li></ul> For our bodies to move, information needs to travel from the grey matter down the spinal cord through a chain of nerve fibres (axons) to our muscles. The axons in the white matter are wrapped with myelin. This myelin covering seems to change with practice. Added layers insulate the axons, eventually becoming a superhighway for information connecting your brain to your muscles.

Myelin during practice

Mastery is not just about the hours of practice. It's also the quality and effectiveness of that practice that plays a role.Effective practice is <ol><li>consistent</li><li>intensely focused</li><li>targets content or weaknesses</li></ol>

Effective practice

<ul><li>Focus on the task at hand.</li><li>Minimise distraction. Turn off the TV and put your cellphone out of reach. Studies show that the interference of laptops and smartphones caused students to stay on task for only six minutes at a time.</li><li>Start out slowly. Coordination is built with repetitions, whether correct or incorrect.</li><li>Frequent repetitions with allotted breaks. Studies show that many top athletes, musicians, and dancers divide their time used for effective practice into multiple daily practice sessions.</li><li>Mentally practise with vivid detail. </li></ul>

How to get the most out of our practice time

View full lesson: http://ed.ted.com/lessons/how-to-practice-effectively-for-just-about-anything-annie-bosler-and-don-greene Mastering any physical skill takes practice. Practice is the repetition of an action with the goal of improvement, and it helps us perform with more ease, speed, and confidence. But what does practice actually do to make us better at things? Annie Bosler and Don Greene explain how practice affects the inner workings of our brains. Lesson by Annie Bosler and Don Greene, animation by Martina Meštrović.

videos

Videos

View full lesson: http://ed.ted.com/lessons/how-to-practice-effectively-for-just-about-anything-annie-bosler-and-don-greene

Mastering any physical skill takes practice. Practice is the repetition of an action with the goal of improvement, and it helps us perform with more ease, speed, and confidence. But what does practice actually do to make us better at things? Annie Bosler and Don Greene explain how practice affects the inner workings of our brains.

Lesson by Annie Bosler and Don Greene, animation by Martina Meštrović.

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TED-Ed

How to practice effectively...for just about anything - Annie Bosler and Don Greene

How you improve yourself depends on two factors: <ol><li>When do I improve myself? When is the most important because you can waste a lot of time and energy if you focus on self-improvement at the wrong time.</li><li>How do I improve myself?</li></ol> Use your best hour of the day to improve your mind, be it after you wake up, before dinner, etc. Doing this every day will result in mental compounding interest.

How to improve yourself

When building an online business, you want to commit to something that you're good at and something that has a future. The most important thing for your business is getting started. The biggest mistake we can make is to never get started. Once you've started, you can modify your strategy until you succeed.

Building an online business

Welcome to Wise & Wealthy! This edition includes tips to stop comparing yourself with others. And 8 online business ideas.

motivationandinspiration

Motivation & Inspiration

business

Business

startup

Startups

Wise & Wealthy: The Munger Technique and online business ideas

"Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure... than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat"

I learned from this book the value of good communication with others and the best way to communicate for maximal success in relationships, happiness, business, and life overallI practiced these ideas until they became second nature and they have to proved to be very useful in many aspects of my lifeI will share the fundamental principles so people can better apply them to their livesStash the Ideas that have the greatest impact on you and write them down where you can see them so you won't forget to apply them in your everyday life

Principles and Lessons

<ol><li>Don't Criticise, condemn or complain - We learn faster and retain knowledge better when rewarded for good behavior than punished for bad behavior</li><li>Give honest and sincere appreciation - People need to feel appreciated. Sincere appreciation of someone will be remembered long after your interaction with them</li><li>Arouse in the other person an eager want - To influence someone you need to talk about what they want and then show them how they can get it</li></ol>

Handling People

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”

<ol><li>Become genuinely interested in other people-Interest in others will allow you to make real friends</li><li>Smile-Your smile is a show of light and happiness in the world. Everyone likes someone who smiles</li><li>A person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language - Use (and remember) names!</li><li>Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves - Listening intently, makes you a better conversationalist</li><li>Talk in terms of the other person’s interests-People love talking about themselves</li><li>Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely - Our importance is essential</li></ol>

Making People Like You

<ol><li>The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it</li><li>Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong.”</li><li>If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically</li><li>Begin in a friendly way</li><li>Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately</li><li>Let the other person do a great deal of the talking</li><li>Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers</li><li>Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view</li><li>Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires</li><li>Appeal to the nobler motives</li><li>Dramatize your ideas</li><li>Throwdown a challenge</li></ol>

Winning People to Your Way of Thinking

"Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.”

<ol><li>Begin with praise and honest appreciation</li><li>Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly</li><li>Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person</li><li>Ask questions instead of giving direct orders</li><li>Let the other person save face</li><li>Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.”</li><li>Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to</li><li>Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct</li><li>Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest</li></ol>

Being a Leader

<ul><li>We crave acceptance</li><li>Communicating and connecting with others is a skill that can be trained and improved</li><li>Have humility. Some of these principles may go against your own. To improve, you need to have the humility to look at them objectively and test them for yourself </li></ul>

Ideas and Notes

"The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you, whose presence calls forth your best.”

Do you feel stuck in life, not knowing how to make it more successful? Do you wish to become more popular? Are you craving to earn more? Do you wish to expand your horizon, earn new clients and win people over with your ideas? How to Win Friends and Influence People is a well-researched and comprehensive guide that will help you through these everyday problems and make success look easier. You can learn to expand your social circle, polish your skill set, find ways to put forward your thoughts more clearly, and build mental strength to counter all hurdles that you may come across on the path to success. Having helped millions of readers from the world over achieve their goals, the clearly listed techniques and principles will be the answers to all your questions.

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

books

Books

Updated for today’s readers, Dale Carnegie’s timeless bestseller How to Win Friends and Influence People is a classic that has improved and transformed the professional and personal and lives of millions. One of the best-known motivational guides in history, Dale Carnegie’s groundbreaking book has sold tens of millions of copies, been translated into almost every known language, and has helped countless people succeed. Originally published during the depths of the Great Depression—and equally valuable during booming economies or hard times—Carnegie’s rock-solid, time-tested advice has carried countless people up the ladder of success in their professional and personal lives. How to Win Friends and Influence People teaches you: -How to communicate effectively -How to make people like you -How to increase your ability to get things done -How to get others to see your side -How to become a more effective leader -How to successfully navigate almost any social situation -And so much more! Achieve your maximum potential with this updated version of a classic—a must-read for the 21st century.

Dale Carnegie was an American writer and lecturer, and the developer of courses in self-improvement, salesmanship, corporate training, public speaking, and interpersonal skills.

Dale Carnegie

How To Win Friends and Influence People

How to Win Friends and Influence People

They start off awesome.But the early excitement eventually fades.Flaws/differences emerge. Remind yourself why you got into it in the first place.To be happy!If you still want the relationship, do whatever it takes to make it happy again.

Most Relationships Make You Unhappy

You do not have all the time in the world.Call them.Tell them you love them,Thank them.Spend time with them.

Your parents are going to die, and you have no idea when.

And when they behave like themselves, you feel disappointed, hurt, and resentful.But it's quite possible, they have been that way always.You just expected somebody else!

You are in love with the idea of that person, not that person.

It's far easier to be nice to others and have them like you for it than to meditate on your flaws and find out how much work you still have left to do on yourself!

You please people because you are terrified of facing your true self.

That toxic friend, lover, even job - you hold on to them because you don't trust yourselves to find it again!

You are scared to let go of relationships because you don't know how to make new ones.

They do not know what it is to receive love, so they do not know what it is to love.

You will never be loved by someone who doesn't love themselves.

Because their mind is always giving them reasons of why you will.

Overthinkers will never believe you when you tell them you will never leave.

Your early excitement with a new relationship blinds you to their flaws, which will eventually be realized.

There will always be a gap.Question is - do you continue compensating for it, or realize it's true for the other side as well.

No matter how hard you try, you will never be able to convey the true depth of your love to someone else.

You will never find your better half if you don't think of yourself as a whole!

The best friendships will be made when not trying to seek friendships. They will just happen.It will feel like destiny.

They do not know any better.They need energy from everyone else because they cannot generate it within. These relationships are rarely giving and take.They only take.And you have only so much to give.

Some relationships will only suck energy from you. 

We don't spend time with ourselves.Because we are scared of what we might find. Your thoughts are your biggest strength, biggest enemy, or biggest competition. You decide which role they play.

The most difficult person you will spend time with is you yourself.

The one thing I learned (and agree with) from the book "Courage to be disliked" is that every problem eventually boils down to interpersonal relationships. It is hard-hitting at first to realize this, but the more you meditate on it, the clearer and more obvious it becomes.

They seem easy but are not.They feel permanent but are not.They appear trivial but are not. The more we understand them, the better we get at being happy with ourselves.

Relationships define almost everything in our life.

"Life isn't about making relationships. It is about understanding why we make relationships."

A Twitter thread by Ankur Warikoo about relationships. We often create perceptions of a person and we started loving them. Eventually, flaws can be seen and it feels like this is not the same person we loved.

leadershipandmanagement

Leadership & Management

13 Harsh Truths About Relationships.

You don't want to stand out like an oddball. You should already have an idea on what people are wearing<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">We already know what people are wearing so we are all good with that tip we have the dress code.</li></ul>

Step #1 Find out what people are wearing. 

If you have any questions make sure you ask them, they know that you are new and they actually want to help you to suceed another thing you can do is to find your go to person who you will be asking the bulk of your questions

 Step #2 Ask any questions you have before starting

Not only should you show good manners to the people that you are working with you should also be eager to go out and meet new people. This means that you get out from under your desk and tell them who you are and if they need anything you can help them. Make them know that you are genuinely interested and eager to start working.**It sets the tone for yourself**

 Step #3 Be Polite To Everyone

- Make sure you try and solve the problem before you ask for help, but don't be afraid to ask for him, your coworkers want to help you and they want you to succeed so asking for help is the best course of action

 Step #4 Don't Be Afraid to Ask For Help the first 30 days

Ask there titles the projects they are working on, and everything that they are doing in their company- Find that one person who will be the biggest help and see how you can help them and they can help you out as well

 Step #5 Find out what everyone does

Use the first 30 days to figure out everything that you need to know, and when you ask a question then make sure that you actually remember the answer to that question- It's okay to make mistakes, just learn from them and keep moving forward, cringy moments will happen just accept them.

 Step #6 Don't Stress Out yourself

Meetings are meant to get everyone to speed and to make sure everyone is on the right track so by asking questions you make sure that you are doing what is expected of you- Don't ask too many stupid questions

 Step #7 Ask Questions In Meetings

Feedback is one of the best opportunities for growth so don't be afraid to ask your coworkers or boss how you're doing what can you improve on and what can help take your designs to the next level- Show a genuine interest to continue to grow and get better

 Step #8 Don't Be Afraid to Ask your co-workers how you're doing

- Whatever job you are trying to do make sure that you do it to the best of your abilities and very early because negative impressions are formed very easily.

Step #9 Perform your job to the best of your ability

Honestly your coworkers don't want to work with an overly nice guy or a fake guy- Make sure that you let your coworkers know the real you- Everything in life is balanced, let them know you slowly don't go overboard

 Step #10 Don't be a too nice guy or a fake nice guy

- Don't arrive too early for work and don't leave too early or right on time because that shows that you are a time watcher

 Step #11 Timing

Don't demand things people do not like that, all too often new hires hide who they are- Be there to help and do it enthuiastically.

Step #12 Don't Be A Diva

- Even if you know how to do something still allow them to show you, it might benefit you and it also shows that you are willing to learn new ways

 Step #13 Don't be a Know-It-All

<ul><li>It shows that you respect the company equipment and puts you in a good light with the manager and your coworkers at the company</li></ul>

 Step #14 Lay off Social Media and don't use company equipment

I am starting a new job tommrow so this video was very helpful. Thank you Deepstash for helping me get a new job.

Your first day at work can be very stressful and challenging. Your first day is when you will feel the most anxiety. In this video you will learn how to calm your nerves so you are not a wreck on the first day of your new job. There are so many unknowns when starting a new job and the last thing you want to do is to let your nerves get the best of you on the first day at work. Starting a new job does not have to be hard and in fact, with a little planning, the first day of your new job can be quite exciting. Learn how to start your new job from hiring expert: Don Georgevich of: https://jobinterviewtools.com #firstdayatwork #startyournewjob ************************************************************************************** DOWNLOAD THE TOP 10 BEST INTERVIEW QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS FOR FREE: https://jobinterviewtools.com/top10 ************************************************************************************** PLEASE SUBSCRIBE TO THE CHANNEL AND LIKE THE VIDEO. Thank you 😊 https://youtube.com/dgeorgevich?sub_confirmation=1 So, you have a new job. Congratulations. Now, you want to make a great first impression. So, let's get you into the right mindset, so you look awesome. Step number one; find out what people are wearing. It used to be traditional to wear a suit on your first day, but that is old-school thinking. You don't want to stand out like an oddball in a suit if everyone else is wearing jeans or business casual. Now, do you? Now, you should already have got an idea of what people are wearing from when you went on job interviews at this company. Okay? Step number two... BEST AND MOST POPULAR VIDEOS BY DON GEORGEVICH ON YOUTUBE: Why Do You Want to Leave Your Job: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZsnJmhs7Hc Tricky interview question: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xkMN8nsCgXE How to achieve amazing interview success: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XeYTuQUQ4m4 How to answer, "What bothers you?": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TtymmkLBBtw STOP Sending Out Your Resume: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I6zpC7D7h-E How to Write a Thank You Letter: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v9d90Nk8x98 CONNECT WITH DON GEORGEVICH ON LINKEDIN.COM: https://linkedin.com/in/DGEORGEVICH DOWNLOAD DON’S TOP 10 INTERVIEW QUESTIONS GUIDE FOR FREE: https://jobinterviewtools.com/top10 NEED PERSONAL COACHING FROM DON? APPLY HERE: https://jobinterviewtools.com/hpc VALUALBE INTERVIEWING RESOURCES RECOMMENDED BY DON: ➡️Learn how to answer the most common interview questions: https://jobinterviewtools.com ➡️Learn how to write a great resume: https://jobinterviewtools.com/resume ➡️Get coached like by Don: https://jobinterviewtools.com/hpc ➡️Get Learn how to write a thank you letter: https://jobinterviewtools.com/thankyou-letters/ ➡️Build your interview strategy: https://jobinterviewtools.com/isb ➡️Don’s NEW HIRING GUIDE: https://simplehiringsystem.com ➡️Get Don’s hiring guide on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Seven-Master-Steps-Hiring-Players/dp/1737401703/ FREE DOWNLOAD: Don Recommends the Top 10 Interview Questions for you. https://JobInterviewTools.com/Top10/ CONTACT DON: https://jobinterviewtools.com/contact/ https://simplehiringsystem.com/contact/ ************************************************************************************** DOWNLOAD THE TOP 10 BEST INTERVIEW QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS FOR FREE: https://jobinterviewtools.com/top10 ************************************************************************************** PLEASE SUBSCRIBE TO THE CHANNEL AND LIKE THE VIDEO. Thank you 😊 https://www.youtube.com/dgeorgevich?sub_confirmation=1

communication

Communication

Your first day at work can be very stressful and challenging. Your first day is when you will feel the most anxiety.  In this video you will learn how to calm your nerves so you are not a wreck on the first day of your new job.  There are so many unknowns when starting a new job and the last thing you want to do is to let your nerves get the best of you on the first day at work.  Starting a new job does not have to be hard and in fact, with a little planning, the first day of your new job can be quite exciting.

Learn how to start your new job from hiring expert:  Don Georgevich of:  https://jobinterviewtools.com
#firstdayatwork #startyournewjob 

**************************************************************************************
DOWNLOAD  THE TOP 10 BEST INTERVIEW QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS FOR FREE: https://jobinterviewtools.com/top10
**************************************************************************************

PLEASE SUBSCRIBE TO THE CHANNEL AND LIKE THE VIDEO. Thank you 😊
https://youtube.com/dgeorgevich?sub_confirmation=1

So, you have a new job. Congratulations. Now, you want to make a great first impression. So, let's get you into the right mindset, so you look awesome. 

Step number one; find out what people are wearing. It used to be traditional to wear a suit on your first day, but that is old-school thinking. You don't want to stand out like an oddball in a suit if everyone else is wearing jeans or business casual. Now, do you? 

Now, you should already have got an idea of what people are wearing from when you went on job interviews at this company. Okay? 

Step number two...

BEST AND MOST POPULAR VIDEOS BY DON GEORGEVICH ON YOUTUBE:

Why Do You Want to Leave Your Job: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZsnJmhs7Hc
Tricky interview question: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xkMN8nsCgXE
How to achieve amazing interview success: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XeYTuQUQ4m4
How to answer, "What bothers you?": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TtymmkLBBtw
STOP Sending Out Your Resume: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I6zpC7D7h-E
How to Write a Thank You Letter: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v9d90Nk8x98

CONNECT WITH DON GEORGEVICH ON LINKEDIN.COM: 
https://linkedin.com/in/DGEORGEVICH

DOWNLOAD DON’S TOP 10 INTERVIEW QUESTIONS GUIDE FOR FREE:
https://jobinterviewtools.com/top10

NEED PERSONAL COACHING FROM DON?  APPLY HERE: https://jobinterviewtools.com/hpc

VALUALBE INTERVIEWING RESOURCES RECOMMENDED BY DON:
➡️Learn how to answer the most common interview questions:  https://jobinterviewtools.com
➡️Learn how to write a great resume: https://jobinterviewtools.com/resume
➡️Get coached like by Don: https://jobinterviewtools.com/hpc
➡️Get Learn how to write a thank you letter: https://jobinterviewtools.com/thankyou-letters/
➡️Build your interview strategy: https://jobinterviewtools.com/isb
➡️Don’s NEW HIRING GUIDE: https://simplehiringsystem.com
➡️Get Don’s hiring guide on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Seven-Master-Steps-Hiring-Players/dp/1737401703/

FREE DOWNLOAD:  Don Recommends the Top 10 Interview Questions for you.
https://JobInterviewTools.com/Top10/

CONTACT DON:
https://jobinterviewtools.com/contact/
https://simplehiringsystem.com/contact/

**************************************************************************************
DOWNLOAD  THE TOP 10 BEST INTERVIEW QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS FOR FREE: https://jobinterviewtools.com/top10
**************************************************************************************

PLEASE SUBSCRIBE TO THE CHANNEL AND LIKE THE VIDEO. Thank you 😊
https://www.youtube.com/dgeorgevich?sub_confirmation=1

Don Georgevich is an interview coach and hiring consultant based in Cleveland, Ohio.

I've been teaching job seekers how to interview better and smarter for nearly 20 years.  My sole purpose is to help you impress interviewers and succeed in the interview while being 100% authentic.  I want to be your guide to help you find your next job.

I'm here for small businesses, too, to help you make informed hiring decisions so you can be certain you're always hiring the right people for your business.  

Sincerely,

Don Georgevich

Don Georgevich

14 TIPS to Start Your New Job - First Day at Work - How to make a great first impression

Second-order thinking is a tool that you can use for making decisions that are not just beneficial in the short-term but are also nondestructive over a longer period of time.What looks like an investment now might turn out to be a liability later. What looked like a good decision earlier is now a bad one. Second-order thinking is a is a mental tool that will help you examine the long-term consequences of your decisions, thereby helping you make decisions that will stand the test of time.

Second-order Thinking 

You can use second-order thinking in two ways:1. As a purely mental exercise2. You can write it down on paper Consider a decision you have to make.Look at the most immediate (first-order) effects of making the decision. Then for each effect ask yourself: "And then What?"That is how you examine the second-order of your decisions consequences.This exercise can be repeated for as many orders as you find practical.

How To Use It

Alternatively, think about the decision in different timelines. Ask yourself: what will be the consequences of this decision in:1. 5 minutes2. 5 hours3. 5 days4. 5 months5. 5 years This means you get a chance to consider the short-term, medium-term, and long-term consequences.

Alternative

A mental tool for better decision making. 

Consider the long-term consequences of your decisions.

problemsolving

Problem Solving

Second-order thinking | Untools

Watts stands out among other 20th-century philosophers for several reasons. Namely because he managed to do three unique things:<ul><li>Have very differentiated points of view from contemporary Western viewpoints.</li><li>Articulate them extremely well.</li><li>Do it all in a time when you could record your own lectures—which he did, in abundance.</li></ul>

The Philosopher From The Future

Alan Watts wasn’t an expert in what he taught. Despite writing extensively about Eastern philosophies like Buddhism, Hinduism, Taoism, and Zen, he wasn’t ordained as any kind of monk or didn’t strictly follow any one system.What he was, like the ideas he dedicated his life to studying and teaching, isn’t easy to define. He was a lover of life.He was a remarkable teacher during the 50s and 60s who self-coined himself as a spiritual entertainer.He was a prolific writer, publishing over 25 books, most of which were, and continue to be, hugely successful.

A Spiritual Entertainer

Alan Watts didn’t take life, or himself, too seriously. He enjoyed a good drink or six. He left the Church partly due to an extramarital affair. He didn’t pretend he wasn’t human and wasn’t ashamed of his vices—whether they be sex, alcohol, acid, partying on his houseboat, or all the above.The main reason why Alan Watts is and will be the leading philosopher of the 21st century is that he clearly embodied everything he taught, and in doing so, wholeheartedly engaged in and enjoyed life.

Don't Be So Serious

To know that you can do nothing is the beginning. Lesson One is: “I Give Up”… What happens now? You find yourself in what is perhaps a rather unfamiliar state of mind.” Just watching. Not trying to get anything. Not expecting anything. Not seeking. Just trying to relax. Just watching, without purpose.

Lesson #1: On The Meaning of Life

Get rid of knowledge; eject wisdom, and the people will be benefited a hundred-fold

How can you understand the universe when you are a part of it? How can you discover the meaning of life through intellect alone? How can you bite your own teeth or eat your own mouth? Although seemingly obvious and even foolish, Watt’s believed such questions were key to really realizing how much we don’t know.Overlooking such points when trying to understand life leads to an endless cycle of questioning, figuring out, problem-solving, and, ultimately, the only logical conclusion there is: that the universe is meaningless.

The Paradox Of Life

If the universe is meaningless, so is the statement that it is so. If this world is a vicious trap, so is its accuser, and the pot is calling the kettle black.

You can’t make sense of the universe through problem-solving. You can’t find the meaning of life through thought alone. Problem-solving is a function of the universe. Your thoughts are one small expression of life.From the beginning, the question was flawed. But more than that, trying to discover an answer or reason for existence, life, the universe, etc., as if you, the questioner, were separate from existence, life, the universe, will only serve to get you further away from finding what you’re looking for.

Thinking Isn't Everything

Lessons on life, belief, religion and nature.

The lessons of Alan Watts are key to addressing the greatest challenges of our age, from understanding the meaning of life to finding the present moment.

Alan Watts on The 5 Most Important Lessons of The 21st Century

Find  Self Improvement Tips - Curated from popular Books like Atomic Habits, 48 Rules of Power, Deep Work, Rich Dad Poor Dad and way more!