We may feel lonely if we have no one to sit next to at lunch or when we move to a new city, or no one has time for us on the weekend.  However, the occasional feeling of loneliness has become chronic for millions over the last few decades. While we live in the most connected time in history, we feel the most isolated. In the US, 46% of the population feel lonely regularly. In the UK, 60% of 18 - 34-year-olds often feel lonely.

Everybody feels lonely from time to time

Loneliness is a subjective individual experience. You can be surrounded by people yet feel lonely. If you feel lonely, you are lonely.Loneliness can affect everybody, regardless of money, fame, power, beauty, social skills, a great personality.Loneliness is part of your biology, just like hunger. Hunger make you pay attention to your physical needs; loneliness makes you pay attention to your social needs. So loneliness is an early warning system to ensure you stop behaviour that would isolate you.

Why loneliness is painful

During the Renaissance, Western culture turned its focus away from collectivism to the individual. The Protestant theology further stressed individual responsibility. During the Industrial Revolution, people left their villages and fields to enter factories. As a result, stable communities started to dissolve while cities grew. This trend sped up more and more, and today, we move great distances for new jobs, love, and education while leaving our social net behind.

The start of the loneliness epidemic

Today, we meet fewer people in person and less often. In the US, the mean number of close friends dropped from 3 in 1985 to 2 in 2011. Most people become lonely because they become too busy with work, university, romance, kids, Netflix. Then it's easy to sacrifice time with friends until you wake up one day and discover you feel isolated and desire close relationships.

Sacrificing friends

Studies found that the stress that comes from chronic loneliness is the most unhealthy thing we can experience. When you feel lonely, you become worse at interpreting social signals and understand people less. Your brain starts to become out of tune with recognising faces and categorising neutral faces as hostile, making you become distrustful of others. You assume the worst about others, become more self-centred to protect yourself and appear more cold and unfriendly than you are.

Chronic loneliness is unhealthy

Try to recognise the vicious cycle you may be trapped in.  <ul><li>Accept that loneliness is a normal feeling. Everybody feels lonely at some point.</li><li>Examine what you focus your attention on. Check if you selectively focus on negative things. </li><li>Are you assuming the worst about others' intentions? When you enter a social situation, have you already decided how it will go? Do you assume others don't want you around?</li><li>Can you give others the benefit of the doubt?</li><li>Can you risk being open and vulnerable again?</li><li>Do you avoid being around others to protect yourself?</li><li>Have you become complacent with your situation?</li></ul>

Notice the vicious cycle you're stuck in

<ul><li>Try to reach out to someone today regardless of whether you feel a little lonely or want to make someone else's day better. Maybe it's a friend you haven't spoken to in a while. Call a family member who has become estranged.</li><li>Invite a work colleague for a coffee.</li><li>Go to something you are usually too afraid to go to, such as a sports club.</li><li>Don't go with any expectations. The goal is to open up a bit to exercise your connection muscles or help others exercise theirs.</li><li>If you feel unable to solve your situation yourself, please reach out and get professional help.</li></ul>

How to escape chronic loneliness

Everybody feels lonely sometimes. But only few of us are aware how important this feeling was for our ancestors - and that our modern world can turn it into something that really hurts us. Why do we feel this way and what can we do about it? Sources: https://sites.google.com/view/sourcesloneliness/startseite Books mentioned in the endcard: 'Emotional First Aid' by Guy Winch https://www.amazon.com/Emotional-First-Aid-Rejection-Everyday/dp/0142181072/ 'Loneliness' by John Cacioppo & William Patrick https://www.amazon.com/Loneliness-Human-Nature-Social-Connection/dp/0393335283/ OUR CHANNELS ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ German Channel: https://kgs.link/youtubeDE Spanish Channel: https://kgs.link/youtubeES HOW CAN YOU SUPPORT US? ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ This is how we make our living and it would be a pleasure if you support us! Get Merch designed with ❤ from https://kgs.link/shop Join the Patreon Bird Army 🐧 https://kgs.link/patreon DISCUSSIONS & SOCIAL MEDIA ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ Reddit: https://kgs.link/reddit Instagram: https://kgs.link/instagram Twitter: https://kgs.link/twitter Facebook: https://kgs.link/facebook Discord: https://kgs.link/discord Newsletter: https://kgs.link/newsletter OUR VOICE ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ The Kurzgesagt voice is from Steve Taylor: https://kgs.link/youtube-voice OUR MUSIC ♬♪ ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ 700+ minutes of Kurzgesagt Soundtracks by Epic Mountain: Spotify: https://kgs.link/music-spotify Soundcloud: https://kgs.link/music-soundcloud Bandcamp: https://kgs.link/music-bandcamp Youtube: https://kgs.link/music-youtube Facebook: https://kgs.link/music-facebook The Soundtrack of this video: Soundcloud: https://bit.ly/2X3Qezs Bandcamp: https://bit.ly/2tlrWU3 Youtube: https://bit.ly/2CZ6PeN Facebook: http://bit.ly/2qW6bY4 🐦🐧🐤 PATREON BIRD ARMY 🐤🐧🐦 ▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ Many Thanks to our wonderful Patreons from http://kgs.link/patreon who support us every month and made this video possible: Aleksandra Przytuła, Jemma, Will, 士誠 劉, Vincent Boucart, Tea4ever, Thomas Hogdahl, Gaurav Mathur, Andy Matthews, Tom Ingleby, Phil Crawford, Dannythetwo, Carl Canova, Martin Anderson, Mathieu Langis, tineeetim, Jeongmin Bae, Jarno Verhoofstad, Thomas Auberson, Ethan DeKelver, Enis Zeyrek, Dennis Værum, Matt Miller, Sasha Mamzelev, Dunkel, kartacha, Daniel Miller, Joshua Brost, Kyle Ivin, Erich Onzik, Allison McCarthy, Dejan Cencelj, Bogdan DANCU, Peter Cornell, Francesco Rossetto, Michael Mutarelli, Edward DeCook, Yashasvi Singh, Austin Gilstrap-Turner, Josie Xu, NorgTheSupporter, Carmine D'Amico, Ann Poplick, Ingrid Wong, Andrés Help us caption & translate this video! https://www.youtube.com/timedtext_cs_panel?c=UCsXVk37bltHxD1rDPwtNM8Q&tab=2

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Everybody feels lonely sometimes. But only few of us are aware how important this feeling was for our ancestors - and that our modern world can turn it into something that really hurts us. Why do we feel this way and what can we do about it?

Sources:
https://sites.google.com/view/sourcesloneliness/startseite

Books mentioned in the endcard:
'Emotional First Aid' by Guy Winch
https://www.amazon.com/Emotional-First-Aid-Rejection-Everyday/dp/0142181072/
'Loneliness' by John Cacioppo & William Patrick
https://www.amazon.com/Loneliness-Human-Nature-Social-Connection/dp/0393335283/


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Aleksandra Przytuła, Jemma, Will, 士誠 劉, Vincent Boucart, Tea4ever, Thomas Hogdahl, Gaurav Mathur, Andy Matthews, Tom Ingleby, Phil Crawford, Dannythetwo, Carl Canova, Martin Anderson, Mathieu Langis, tineeetim, Jeongmin Bae, Jarno Verhoofstad, Thomas Auberson, Ethan DeKelver, Enis Zeyrek, Dennis Værum, Matt Miller, Sasha Mamzelev, Dunkel, kartacha, Daniel Miller, Joshua Brost, Kyle Ivin, Erich Onzik, Allison McCarthy, Dejan Cencelj, Bogdan DANCU, Peter Cornell, Francesco Rossetto, Michael Mutarelli, Edward DeCook, Yashasvi Singh, Austin Gilstrap-Turner, Josie Xu, NorgTheSupporter, Carmine D'Amico, Ann Poplick, Ingrid Wong, Andrés

Help us caption & translate this video!
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Animation videos explaining things with optimistic nihilism since 12,013.

We’re a team of illustrators, animators, number crunchers and one dog who aim to spark curiosity about science and the world we live in. To us nothing is boring if you tell a good story.

For updates on our videos and other news from the kurzgesagt universe follow us on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn.


Kurzgesagt – In a Nutshell

Loneliness

The original MSS, published in 2006 by Cara Nicol, was a 56-item questionnaire designed to measure varying degrees of "self-determined solitude" (SDS) and "not self-determined solitude" (NSDS) on a four-point scale.The prompt question for MSS survey takers: "When I spend time alone, I do so because…” For their most recent (2019) survey, Thomas and Azmitia used a truncated version that consisted of a 14-item questionnaire.

The Motivation for Solitude Scale (MSS)

<ol><li>It sparks my creativity. </li><li>I enjoy the quiet.</li><li>Being alone helps me get in touch with my spirituality. </li><li>It helps me stay in touch with my feelings.</li><li>I value the privacy.</li><li>I can engage in activities that really interest me.</li><li>It helps me gain insight into why I do the things I do.</li><li>I feel energized when I spend time by myself.</li><li>I feel anxious when I'm with others.</li><li>I don't feel liked when I'm with others.</li><li>I can't be myself around others.</li><li>I regret things I say or do when I'm with others.</li><li>I feel uncomfortable when I'm with others.</li><li>I feel like I don't belong when I'm with others.</li></ol>

“When I Spend Time Alone, I Do So Because..." - 14 Reasons Why

<ol><li>It sparks my creativity. </li><li>I enjoy the quiet.</li><li>Being alone helps me get in touch with my spirituality. </li><li>It helps me stay in touch with my feelings.</li><li>I value the privacy.</li><li>I can engage in activities that really interest me.</li><li>It helps me gain insight into why I do the things I do.</li><li>I feel energized when I spend time by myself.</li></ol>

The 8 Self-Determined Reasons Why

<ol><li>I feel anxious when I'm with others.</li><li>I don't feel liked when I'm with others.</li><li>I can't be myself around others.</li><li>I regret things I say or do when I'm with others.</li><li>I feel uncomfortable when I'm with others.</li><li>I feel like I don't belong when I'm with others.</li></ol>

The 6 Not Self-Determined Reasons Why

The researchers found that people who choose to spend time alone for mostly positive, "self-determined" reasons are at a much lower risk of viewing solitude as “social isolation” or suffering the negative consequences associated with feelings of loneliness than those who seek alone time for the predominately "not self-determined" reasons reflected in questions 9-14 in the survey above.

The Survey’s Main Takeaway

When it comes to motivations for seeking solitude, the key factors in the equation are choice and an individual's positive or negative motivation for wanting to be alone. Those who choose to be "let alone" probably know what’s best for their psychological, creative, and spiritual well-being. Conversely, those who have negative motivations for seeking solitude (e.g., social anxiety) often find themselves isolated in ways that are linked to loneliness, dysphoria, or depression.

There Can Be Choice And Motivation In Solitude

Depending on someone’s reasons for wanting to be alone, the Motivation for Solitude Scale (MSS) shows that alone time can have countless potential upsides. Seeking solitude is not necessarily a red flag that something is wrong. According to the researchers, choosing solitude can help people flourish by facilitating self-acceptance, personal growth, creative expression, and spiritual connectedness.

There Is Solitude Sought And Solitude Forced

Virginia Thomas, currently an assistant professor of psychology, conducted this research when she was a graduate student. "We got clear results that are pretty reliable indicators of adaptive versus maladaptive solitude," she said in a statement. "These results increase our awareness that being alone can be restorative and a positive thing. The question is how to be alone without feeling like we're missing out. For many people, solitude is like exercising a muscle they've never used. You have to develop it, flex it, and learn to use time alone to your benefit."

For Many, Solitude Is A Muscle That Has Never Been Used

"Solitude serves the same positive functions in introverts and extroverts. Introverts just need more of it," Thomas said. "Our culture is pretty biased toward exyroversion. When we see any sign of shyness or introversion in children, we worry they won't be popular. But we overlook plenty of well-adjusted teens and young adults who are perfectly happy when alone, and who benefit from their solitude." The researchers encourage parents to appreciate the often undervalued potential benefits of alone time for their children.

Do Introverts and Extroverts Respond Differently to Solitude? 

"Solitude has gotten a lot of bad press, especially for adolescents who get labeled as social misfits or lonely," senior author Margarita Azmitia, professor of psychology at the University of California, Santa Cruz, said in a statement. "There's a stigma for kids who spend time alone. They're considered lacking in social skills, or they get labeled 'loners.’ It's beneficial to know when you need to be alone and when you need to be with others. This study quantifies the benefits of solitude and distinguishes it from the costs of loneliness or isolation."

What About Adolescents And Solitude?

Recently published research (Uziel & Schmidt-Barad, 2022) highlights how being able to choose when we spend time with others or spend time alone increases happiness. On the flip side, being forced to socialize or not being able to choose "self-determined solitude" makes people unhappy.

Forced Company Really Does Make Us Unhappy

During the 10-day study that mimicked real-life social dynamics, participants were exposed to 4 different settings: 1) choosing to be alone, 2) choosing to be with others, 3) forced (no choice) time with others, and 4) forced (no choice) alone time. Notably, the researchers found that being with others by choice had the strongest, most positive effect on feelings of happiness and episodic subjective well-being (ESWB). However, on the opposite end of the spectrum, being with others not by one's choice had the most significant negative impact on ESWB.

The “Choice Matters More with Others” Study

Although this study didn't look at the impact of mandated Covid-19 lockdowns, one could speculate that the loss of choice made it harder for even the most gregarious and extraverted among us to enjoy being surrounded by housemates or family members 24/7. Stay-at-home orders also took away the "self-determined" aspects of SDS. Forced social isolation can quickly start to feel closer to solitary confinement when being alone isn't within your locus of control.

Covid-19 And The Loss Of Choice

"In terms of our momentary experiences, sensing that we are in the company of others by choice is associated with the greatest boost to our well-being, sense of meaning, and control," Liad Uziel and Tomer Schmidt-Barad write in their paper's abstract."Aloneness (by choice and not) emerged as a setting of relative stability, with participants experiencing their different alone conditions quite similarly," they add. According to the authors, solitude is a predictable experience that can be a "source of personal growth" that boosts happiness and well-being if alone time is utilized effectively.

Togetherness And Aloneness: To Each His Own

“I never said, ‘I want to be alone.’ I only said, ‘I want to be let alone!’ There is all the difference.”

Being with others only makes us happy if we do it by choice; when choice is taken away, whether we are social butterflies or lone-wolfs, extraverts or introverts, matters little to our happiness; togetherness and aloneness can make us equally unhappy. Let’s choose what we need to be happy.

A new 14-item questionnaire gauges various motivations for seeking solitude.

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

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Motivation & Inspiration

Why Loners Love Being Alone & Why Being Forced to Socialize Makes Many of Us Unhappy

Dating and starting a business aren't that different. The most important thing in both is making authentic connections. Whether you are looking to close a date or a sale, here are five tips from my love guru mom that can help your business grow into something long-lasting.

Dating Vs Starting a Business 

The statistics on co-founder relationships aren't great. Almost half end within four years. Narrowing down the right partnership was mostly about asking the right questions. When making reference calls for potential co-founders,  skip the former co-workers and talk to their brothers and sisters instead. The success of our business would not depend on great coding skills, but on who the person was at their core.

Dating Your Co-Founder

The best conversations in dating weren't factual (conveying information), but emotional (conveying authenticity).As in relationships, vulnerability was critical. Get real with investors about the struggles of raising funds via Zoom during a pandemic. Instead of talking about accomplishments, share failures.

Dating Investors

When you log on to Zoom, most people are not thinking about settings or how buttons feel where they are. They're thinking about meeting someone new, making a good impression, and building relationships. Some of the best product designers don't design nitty-gritty elements. Instead, they talk about the emotional journey of a user. Great dates don't talk about their hobbies or where they went to college. Instead, they make the other person feel seen. That might mean expressing curiosity in someone's experience growing up in a small town, or gratitude that they chose a restaurant close to you.

Dating Your Product

As you are brainstorming product features, try to focus on how the end-user will feel navigating it and let that be your guide. All of our new features start with a user journey for how we intend to make someone feel. The result is a stronger user experience.

Better User Experience

Just like any budding romance, you want to put your best foot forward by coming prepared. How do you do that efficiently when you're scheduled in back-to-back sales meetings? For a romantic introduction, a matchmaker might hand you a quick summary before your first date. Getting the facts early gives you time to think about who they are and what they might resonate with.

Dating Your Sales Prospect

Why do most people go on first dates? Not to impress someone the most they've ever been impressed, take them to the fanciest dinner, or land the first kiss. Ideally, it's to lay the foundation for a mutually beneficial relationship.The most important thing about "dating for business" is that laying the foundation for a long-term relationship always wins out.  You never know if the person you're meeting will become your next co-founder, hire, or your best friend's future partner. And just like in dating, if you focus on building a relationship, then everything else will be far more fruitful.

People First

The most important thing in both is making authentic connections

Discover the world of business and economics.

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Economics

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Business

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Startups

product

Product & Design

What  Do Dating and Starting A Business Have in Common? Ask A Professional Matchmaker

Most of us go through things in life that we almost always rarely share with our workmates and often just opt to fake a smile and say "I'm fine" in order to avoid talking about the subject.However, the first step to increasing job satisfaction and supporting our mental health we have to open up. Vulnerability is scary, but being able to talk about something that matters to you will most certainly lift a burden off of our shoulders.

Approaching Emotional Conversations in the Workplace

When we check up on our colleague and ask how we're doing, how sincere are we when asking? It's likely that we do care with a certain percentage but not 100%. It's important that we learn proper supportive language because it is how we respond to what they tell us is that makes the largest impact on the conversation.

How Leaders Should Approach Emotional Conversations

<ul><li>“What do you have to be sad about?” or “You shouldn’t be sad, you have an excellent job/family/etc.” — This is dismissive phrasing</li><li>“Everyone feels like that sometimes” to “There’s nothing to worry about.” — This is minimization</li><li>“Hey, it could be worse!” or “That’s just a ‘first-world problem.’” — This is what negation sounds like</li><li>“You shouldn’t worry” or “You just need to get more sleep.” — Prescribing solutions aren't the way to go; and</li><li>“Just look at the bright side!” or “Everything happens for a reason!” — Positivity can become unproductive when it's the only option offered</li></ul>

Emotionally dismissive language sounds like...

<ul><li>"I can see why this is exhausting" or "I believe you" — words of validation during a difficult time can bring comfort</li><li>"Tell me more about that" — shows that we seek to understand, we care, and that we want to learn more so we can try to do more for them</li><li>"How can I best support you right now?" "Would X be helpful?" — When asking them or suggesting a way to support them can make the process of handling easier</li><li>"Thank you for telling me this and I appreciate that you allowed yourself to be vulnerable to me" — This enforces a sense of security they could be needing</li></ul>

Emotionally supportive language sounds like...

As we continue into the new chapters of navigating constant uncertainty, do you want to be the leader who adds to the weight or the one who makes it a little lighter?

As I go through a period of uncertainty in my life, I want to share how I have emotional conversations in the workplace. 

Even well-meaning bosses can inadvertently dismiss their employees’ feelings.

communication

Communication

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Leadership & Management

How Supportive Leaders Approach Emotional Conversations

People think they need someone to feel happy or satisfied but the reality is..they only need themselves. Someone can’t make you happy or sad because they don’t know what type of expectation you have from them.. that’s why we need to find happiness in our selves.

You Are Enough 

For finding that happiness you have to spend time with your self. Most people don’t make time for themselves or are afraid to face their own selves because they know that they are not good at this they can’t lose expectations from their friends or family. But “Every master was once a beginner “Decision is the first step you have to make and you are Half way there..!you have to take your emotional control from others actions.

Decision Is Hardest Part

“For finding your inner hero(happiness) First You have to fight with your inner demon(loneliness)”

Often we feel lonely when we are alone thats why finding your self is important..

Why everyone looks for Friend?

You don’t marry someone you can live with — you marry someone you cannot live without.

It’s always better when we’re together.

If you find someone you love in your life, then hang on to that love.

In real love you want the other person’s good. In romantic love you want the other person.

When I look into your eyes, I know I have found the mirror of my soul.

Love Quotes 💙

Given that it shares the same root word as “alone,” it’s easy to assume loneliness is just the absence of contact with other people.As Cacioppo explains in his book (Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection by John T. Cacioppo and William Patrick). loneliness is not merely a lack of human contact, but rather a lack of meaningful connection with other humans. It isn’t about the quantity of relationships, but rather the quality. This is why it’s possible to feel lonely even when you’re in a romantic relationship or have a large group of acquaintances.

What Is Loneliness?

To start, when we talk about the “pain” of loneliness, that’s more than just a metaphor. Using functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI), scientists have observed that the experience of social rejection activates the same region of the brain that “registers emotional responses to physical pain” . Being socially isolated might not be as imminently dangerous as a cut or burn, but the consequences can be just as serious over the long term.

The Pain of Loneliness

1. Don’t Blame Your Social SkillsWhen you’re feeling lonely, it’s easy to blame it on your lack of social skills. In general, though, a lack of social skills isn’t the issue. Rather, it’s that “feeling lonely makes us less likely to employ the skills we have” . accordingly to the book, loneliness is something that can happen to any of us. It doesn’t mean there’s anything weird or disordered about you – it’s an experience common to all humans. What matters, rather, is how you respond to loneliness, whether or not you use it as a catalyst to improve the depth of your connection with others.

6 things to do to be less lonely

Simply telling people to “connect more with others” isn’t very helpful on its own. This is especially true because each person’s genes are different.Therefore, don’t assume that you need to be super outgoing and have lots of social interactions to feel socially satisfied. You might well thrive with a small group of close friends whom you see once a week. On the other hand, your genes might predispose you to need more frequent social connection, and that’s fine too.

2. Assess How Much Connection You Need

<ol><li>Intimate connectedness: This is connection “up close and personal,” typically with a significant other.</li><li>Relational connectedness : This is the broader (but still close) connection you have with friends and family.</li><li>Collective connectedness –This type of connection describes belonging to a club, professional organization, or even an entire nation.</li></ol>In general, we need a healthy mix of the above types. However, note that this isn’t universally true. What matters, again, is that the types and level of social connection you have match your genetic preferences.

3. Recognize the 3 Different Types of Social Connection

Once you’ve resolved to become more connected with others, Cacioppo recommends finding opportunities “to get small doses of the positive sensations that come from positive social interactions”.Each positive interaction you have gives you further evidence that you can connect with others. This can then help you develop the confidence you need for deeper, more vulnerable forms of connection later on.One of the lowest-risk ways to get started is through volunteering , positive social interactions that can boost your confidence.

4. Extend Yourself (Slowly and Carefully)

When you start reaching out to people not every interaction will be a success. maybe its a small talk Or the passerby you smile at on the street may stare at the ground and keep moving. Interactions that turn out this way don’t mean you’re a failure, or that no one wants to talk to you. As Cacioppo says, “A million and one factors that have absolutely nothing to do with you can influence people’s moods and reactions” .So don’t use a couple of bad reactions as evidence that you can’t connect with people. Just move on and keep trying.

5. Have No Expectations

Throughout Loneliness , Cacioppo stresses that loneliness is not a mental disorder . At the same time, however, chronic loneliness can put you at risk for depression , and social anxiety can make it harder to connect with people in the first place.Therefore, I encourage you to seek the services of a mental health professional if you’re struggling with loneliness.Remember that whatever you’re struggling with, loneliness or otherwise, you don’t have to do it alone.

6. Seek Professional Help

What causes loneliness, and what can we do about it? This article examines the underlying science to answer both of these questions.

health

Health

How to Be Less Lonely: 6 Science-Backed Techniques to Try

L ike many old people desperate to stay relevant, I made a Millennial friend. Only I hit the Millennial jackpot, which is the kind of jackpot that, instead of money, spits out excuses for why it doesn’t make enough money. So when Igor Hiller — who was <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BfW-AjUh-w3/">an Instagram comedy star </a>, acted in the show Dear White People , <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-are-you-thinking-about-with-igor/id1114440532">started a podcast </a>, and is now a life coach — told me early this year that we needed to join Clubhouse right away so we could monetize our influence there, I did it.

Exclusive Club(house

We were the lucky early adopters, joining right after the live, audio-only social media app was seeded to the music and tech industries. Other people were paying up to $77 for the free invites we got. It was so elite that, in a demographically genius move the Soho House would envy, Clubhouse was only available on the iPhone.

Sorry, Androids

We’d have access to hundreds of simultaneous rooms of live chat, each a cross between a TED talk and a call-in radio show. Elon Musk, Oprah Winfrey, Tiffany Haddish, Mark Cuban, Mark Zuckerberg, Drake, and Jack Dorsey were hosting rooms, talking to randos. We, Igor said, could be the Clubhouse randos who become the Clubhouse somebodies. Millennials don’t merely fantasize about becoming famous. They fantasize about becoming famous on a medium that then becomes famous.

Reaching for the Stars

By April, Twitter entered talks to buy Clubhouse for $4 billion, which is more than the value of Air France, Six Flags, Sunoco, Shake Shack, or Fannie Mae. It turned Twitter down, instead raising a round of funding that also valued it at $4 billion. Clubhouse is now a sad, empty MySpace shell of social media. It’s sixtieth in the App Store’s “social networking” category, right behind Chispa, Skout, and Hit on Me!, which is an app that describes itself as a “video platform for people who look for new friends especially hot singles and get more followers” and I’m guessing is “for prostitutes.”

Sad Empty Shell

To find out how this happened, Igor and I hosted a Clubhouse room titled “What Happened to Clubhouse?” Did the app’s functionality not keep up? Did it get infested with political arguments? Did Clubhouse say something racist and get canceled? Only three people showed up to our “What Happened to Clubhouse?” room. One was my lovely wife Cassandra, and one left as soon as we asked him a question. But Mark Simmons stayed with us the whole hour, even though he was very busy driving to a one-year-old’s birthday party.

Public Opinion

He’d only been on Clubhouse a few times and was disappointed with the level of conversation. We added to that disappointment. Within minutes, instead of talking about Clubhouse, Igor was explaining crypto and I was talking about my new Tesla. There was some magnet in Clubhouse drawing us toward douchedom. After our room ended, I scrolled through the other rooms again. None of them interested me, and none were hosted by anyone I’d heard of.

The Draw Of Douchedom

Until then, I’d assumed Clubhouse withered because it was the Tiger King of apps, a pandemic lockdown fad for the bored and isolated. But the bored and isolated didn’t bail on TikTok. Clubhouse died because populism has its limits. If you’re going to fight the time-shifting culture and try to congregate a live audience, you need to limit your community. The currency isn’t content. It’s status. Only they were worse than financial hucksters. They were status hucksters.

Social Climbing

What happened to Clubhouse is what’s happening to all our institutions. When you remove the barriers for entry politics, business, and media, you get less a culture than a nightclub scene, where the Drakes and Mark Cubans sprint from hot new location to hot new location, trying to outrun the cryptopunk brokers. they bump into each other and collaborate on projects. When the trusted and untrustworthy mix, you reach a point where you avoid all institutions because you can’t trust anyone. Especially not a guy who hosts a Clubhouse room called ‘What Happened to Clubhouse?’ and talks about his car.

Bye, Felicia 👋

Like many old people desperate to stay relevant, I made a Millennial friend. Only I hit the Millennial jackpot, which is the kind of jackpot that, instead of money, spits out excuses for why it…

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What Happened to Clubhouse?

Communication is essential to all relationships, but a lack of effective communication could leave you unsure of where you stand. Here’s what to do next.Learning to communicate clearly and consistently with others is an essential tool for developing healthy relationships.

Side Effects Of Poor Communication Skills

A lack of strong communication skills or difficulty clearly stating needs and expectations aren’t automatic red flags in your partner. But it can be very frustrating if you’re trying to interact with someone who doesn’t communicate well

What does ‘lack of communication’ mean?

<ul><li>passive listening instead of active listening</li><li>shutting down</li><li>letting things bottle up inside until you explode in anger or sadness</li><li>yelling or screaming</li><li>becoming physically or verbally abusive</li><li>dismissing other people’s points of view</li><li>demonstrating passive-aggressive behavior</li><li>not being clear about expectations, needs, or wants</li><li>giving the silent treatment</li><li>interrupting</li></ul>

Signs of poor communication

Poor or insufficient communication doesn’t have to be a dealbreaker, as long as both people are committed to learning and practicing better communication skills. It’s a two-way street, and repairing communication works best when all people involved share the responsibility of making it work. By practicing, giving feedback, and seeking out help, anyone’s communication skills can improve.

Is lack of communication a dealbreaker?

Use ‘I’ statementsUsing “I” statements helps you put your feelings into words and explain how you’re specifically affected by another person’s behavior. Because you’re intentionally focusing on yourself, you aren’t attributing negative actions or placing blame on the other person.

How to improve communication

In any relationship, setting clear personal boundaries is very important so that there’s no misunderstanding about when those lines are crossed or what topics are off-limits.If boundaries aren’t clearly communicated, people may be unaware that they’ve gone too far.Here’s an example “Mom, I don’t like it when you shout at me over the phone. I’m not OK with shouting, and I don’t want to have our future conversations include shouting.”This person is clearly communicating a boundary — that they’re not OK with yelling and stating their expectations for future conversations.

Set clear boundaries

There are certain times, especially during a heated discussion, that it might be necessary to take a break so that you can calm down, collect your thoughts, and return to the discussion with a clearer mindset. Even a brief pause can help prevent a further communication breakdown.

Take a timeout if necessary

If you’re only “listening” just to share your perspective, or if you find yourself tuning out, chances are that you aren’t practicing active listening.

A lack of communication in relationships doesn't have to be a dealbreaker. Learn how to improve your communication skills at work and at home.

Lack of Communication: How It Affects Us and Ways to Improve It

What is meditation? Meditation is the power which enables us to resist all this[slavery to nature]... [One] should be able to say to his mind, "You are mine; I order you, do not see or hear anything", and the mind will not see or hear anything -- no form or sound will react on the mind... Next, the mind must be made to quiet down. It is rushing about. Just as I sit down to meditate, all the vilest subjects in the world come up... Why should the mind think thoughts I do not want it to think? I am, as it were a slave to the mind... Meditation is the power which enables us to resist all this.

Mind

How is it (meditation) to be attained? In a dozen different ways. Each temperament has its own way. But this is the general principle: get hold of the mind. The mind is like a lake, and every stone that drops into it raises waves. These waves do not let us see what we are... Let it be calm. Do not let nature raise the wave. Keep quiet, and then after a little while she will give you up. Then we know what we are.

Lake

Meditation is the focusing of the mind on some object. If the mind acquires concentration on one object, it can be so concentrated on any object whatsoever... the practice of meditation even with some trifling external object leads to mental concentration. But it is true that the mind very easily attains calmness when one practice meditation with anything on which one's mind is most apt to settle down.

object

Imagination is the door to inspiration and the basis of all thought. All prophets, poets, and discoverers have had great imaginative power... The three great requisites are:First. Purity, physical and mental; all uncleanness, all that would draw the mind down, must be abandoned.Second. Patience: ... the gain is sure if you have patience.Third. Perseverance: Persevere through think and thin, through health and sickness, never miss a day in practice... (continued next)

Imagine

(continued from last idea)After bathing, sit down and hold the seat firm as a rock, that nothing can move you. Hold the head and shoulders and the hips in a straight line, keeping the spinal column free; all action is along it, and it must not be impaired... then think of the whole as perfect, an instrument given to you by god to enable you to attain Truth... take a long breath through both nostrils, throw it out again, and then hold it out as long as you comfortably can. Take four such breaths, then breathe naturally and pray for illumination.

We have to seize this unstable mind and drag it from its wanderings and fix it on one idea. Over and over again this must be done.

Again

The easiest way to get hold of the mind is to sit quiet and let it drift where it will for a while. Hold fast to the idea, 'I am the witness watching my mind drifting. The mind is not I.' Then see it, think as if it were a thing entirely apart from yourself.

Take some holy person, some great person whom you revere, some saint whom you know to be perfectly non-attached, and think of his heart, that heart has become non-attached, and meditate on that heart; it will calm the mind.

Think of a space in your heart, and in the midst of that space think that a flame is burning. Think of that flame as your own soul and inside the flame is another effulgent light, and that is the Soul of your soul, God. Meditate upon that in the heart.

Flame and heart

*Fun fact*My name Anirban means the eternal flame, a flame that cannot be extinguished.

Meditation is still an ideal to me, which I strive for every day. I have learnt a little, I hope to continue learning from the practice.

problemsolving

Problem Solving

meditation

Meditation

The idea of Meditation by Vivekananda

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