Once a monk was traveling towards forest a thief try to steel his belongings & threaten to kill if doesn't so.. monk want to save him from his sinfulness..He told the theif that..sure ill give everything..as you are doing this for your mom, wife & thier happiness, will they take part in your sin too..Ask them until then ill stay here..The thief thought was shattered after asking the same with the family..family is ready to share the happiness that he brought by threatening other's but not to share his sin..He felt lonely, he was broken , he ran to the monk and ask for his forgiveness..

Story Of Thief And Monk

YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOURSELF !!YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR ACTIONS !!!do you really think anyone will take responsibility for what you have done..??

For Whom We Are Fighting 👊🏻

You can employ someone to drive the car for you, make money for you but you cannot have someone to bear the sickness for you.

Steve Jobs Last Words

So don't be broken because of loneliness..you can lift you up if you think you can..If there is creation there is creator..He'll take care of you..

Loneliness Is Not Weakness 

When you feel lonely..spend time with yourself..you can eat only for your hunger..not for others..even others cant eat for your hunger..

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

philosophy

Philosophy

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

mindfulness

Mindfulness

mentalhealth

Mental Health

 Try to know yourself..🤏🏻

This self help guide teaches us that the key to being happier is to stop trying to be positive all the time and instead to become better at handling adversity.FUCK POSITIVITY!Sometimes things are fucked up and we have to accept it.This book will correct your delusional expectations of yourself and the world. Its like a guide to suffering better, more meaningfully with compassion and humility.I recommend it to anybody stuck in the feedback loop from hell, which is the psychological epidemic making many of us overly stressed, overly neurotic and overly self loathing.

A Book About Hope 

Life itself is a form of suffering. The rich suffer because of their riches. The poor suffer because of their poverty.People without a family suffer because they have no family. People with a family suffer because of their family.People who pursue wordly pleasures suffer because of their worldly pleasures.People who abstain from wordly pleasures suffer because of their abstention.

Most of us struggle through life giving way too many fucks in situations where fucks dont deserve to be given.Your going to die some day. In the short time you have here, if you go round giving a fuck about everything and everyone, you are going to get fucked.Learn to prioritise and pick and choose what is fuckworthy to you based on finely honed personal values.Its part of our biology to give a fuck but when you give too many fucks you become entitled to be comfortable and happy all the time, as if everything is supposed to be exactly the fucking way you want. This is a sickness.

The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A Fuck

Honesty is communication with no conditions, no strings attached, no ulterior motive, no sales job, no desperate attempt to be liked.When things suck, you say so openly and without apology.

Being open to your insecurities paradoxically makes you more confident and charismatic around others.

Reserve your fucks for what truly matters.

Suffering is biologically useful as it is natures preferred agent for inspiring change. We are wired to become dissatisfied with whatever we have and satisfied by only what we don't have.Problems will never fucking go away. They just get exchanged and upgraded. Life is an endless series of problems. The solution to one problem is merely the creation of the next one.Negative emotions are a call to action. If you feel crappy, your brain is telling you there is an unresolved problem for you to address.Happiness comes from solving these problems.

Happiness Is A Problem

Without conflict, there can be no trust.Conflict exists to show us who is there for us unconditionally and who is just there for the benefits.

It is the norm in Western cultures to smile and say polite things even when you don't feel like it, to tell white lies and agree with someone you don't actually agree with. People learn to pretend to be friends with people they don't actually like.The downside of this is that you never know if you can completely trust the person you're talking to. There is a pressure in the West to be likable that people often reconfigure their entire personality depending on the person they're dealing with.Honesty is a natural human craving. Part of living honestly is becoming comfortable with the word 'NO'.

The Importance Of Saying No

Decision making based on emotional intuition, without the aid of reason to keep it in line, pretty much always sucks. You know who bases their entire lives on their emotions? Three year old kids.And dogs.You know what else three year olds and dogs do? Shit on the carpet.

If you've got a problem, chances are millions of other people have had it in the past, have it now, and are going to in the future. This doesn't minimise your problem, it just means that you are not special.The first step towards solving your problems is to acknowledge the realisation that your problems are actually not privileged in their severity and pain.When we experience real traumatic shit, we believe we are uniquely special, that we are somehow unlike everyone else, that the rules are different for us.We become entitled.

You Are Not Special

If everyone were extraordinary, then by definition no one would be extraordinary.

The majority of life is unextraordinary, indeed quite average.Having the Internet, social media sites and hundred plus TV channels is amazing. But this flood of extreme information has conditioned us to believe that exceptionalism is the new normal.Technology and mass marketing is screwing up alot of peoples expectations.We end up feeling like losers because a simple Google search shows us thousands of people without the same problems as us. Technology has solved old economic problems by giving us new psychological problems. The Internet has opensourced insecurity, self doubt and shame.

The Tyranny Of Exceptionalism

Values underlie everything we are and do.If what we value is unhelpful, if what we consider success/failure is poorly chosen, then everything based upon those values - the thoughts, emotions and day to day feelings - will be out of whack. Everything we think and feel about a situation ultimately comes back to how valuable we percieve it to be.

Nobody makes it through life without collecting a few scars along the way -<ul><li>Psychiatric disorders</li><li>Struggling with depression or suicidal thoughts</li><li>Having been subjected to abuse or neglect</li><li>Dealt with a tragedy or death of a loved one</li><li>Survived a serious heath issue</li><li>Accidents</li><li>Traumatic situations</li></ul>Nobody else is ever responsible for the situation you are in. Someone else may be to blame for your unhappiness, but nobody is ever responsible for your unhappiness except your self. This is because you always get to choose how you see things, how you react and how you value them.

Genetics And The Hand We're Dealt

And because you and I and everybody else all have differing needs and personal histories and life circumstances, we will all inevitably come to differing correct answers about what our lives mean and how they should be lived.

Todays culture is obsessed with unrealistically positive expectations.<ul><li>Be happier</li><li>Be the best</li><li>Be smarter</li><li>Be richer</li><li>Be sexier</li><li>More powerful</li><li>More productive</li><li>More admired</li></ul>Be perfect and amazing and shit out 12 karat gold nuggets before breakfast while kissing your selfie ready partner before flying off to work in a helicopter to your wonderfully fulfilling job, where u spend the day doing incredibly meaningful work that will save the planet.Conventional life advice hightlights your percieved shortcomings and failures, resulting in you feeling like a failure as though you aren't successful enough.

Dont Try

The more something threatens your identity, the more you will avoid it.

When any result is regarded as progress and important, we propel ourselves ahead. We feel free to fail and that failure moves us forward.The do something principle helps us to overcome procrastination. That something can be the smallest viable action toward something else. It can be anything.Just do something. Start simple. Thats all thats necessary to get the snowball rolling, the action needed to inspire the motivation to keep going.

Failure Is The Way Forward

Ultimately, the only way to achieve meaning and a sense of importance in ones life is through a rejection of alternatives, a narrowing of freedom, a choice of commitment to one place, one belief or (gulp) one person.

People in a healthy relationship have strong boundaries and take responsibility for their own values and problems.People in a toxic relationship with poor or no boundaries will regularly avoid responsibility for their own problems and take responsibility for their partners problems.Entitled people expect others to take responsibility for their problems.'I want a nice relaxing break. You should have known and canceled your plans'.This is avoiding accepting responsibility for their own problems, resulting in fragile fake relationships.

Boundries

The victim creates more and more problems to solve - not because additional real problems exist, but because it gets her attention and affection she craves.The saver solves and solves - not because she actually cares about the problems, but because she believes she must fix others' problems in order to deserve attention and affection for herself. In both cases, the intentions are selfish and conditional and therefore self-sabotaging, and genuine love is rarely experienced.

You stand in front of the mirror repeating affirmations saying that you're beautiful because you feel as though you're not beautiful already.

No truly happy person feels the need to stand in front of the mirror and recite that she's happy. She just is.

Death is the only thing we can know with any certainty.

In life we have a limited amount of fucks to give. Time ticks away. So choose your fucks wisely. A book worth gifting, to your self, and to those around you.

#1 New York Times Bestseller Over 1 million copies sold In this generation-defining self-help guide, a superstar blogger cuts through the crap to show us how to stop trying to be "positive" all the time so that we can truly become better, happier people. For decades, we’ve been told that positive thinking is the key to a happy, rich life. "F**k positivity," Mark Manson says. "Let’s be honest, shit is f**ked and we have to live with it." In his wildly popular Internet blog, Manson doesn’t sugarcoat or equivocate. He tells it like it is—a dose of raw, refreshing, honest truth that is sorely lacking today. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is his antidote to the coddling, let’s-all-feel-good mindset that has infected American society and spoiled a generation, rewarding them with gold medals just for showing up. Manson makes the argument, backed both by academic research and well-timed poop jokes, that improving our lives hinges not on our ability to turn lemons into lemonade, but on learning to stomach lemons better. Human beings are flawed and limited—"not everybody can be extraordinary, there are winners and losers in society, and some of it is not fair or your fault." Manson advises us to get to know our limitations and accept them. Once we embrace our fears, faults, and uncertainties, once we stop running and avoiding and start confronting painful truths, we can begin to find the courage, perseverance, honesty, responsibility, curiosity, and forgiveness we seek. There are only so many things we can give a f**k about so we need to figure out which ones really matter, Manson makes clear. While money is nice, caring about what you do with your life is better, because true wealth is about experience. A much-needed grab-you-by-the-shoulders-and-look-you-in-the-eye moment of real-talk, filled with entertaining stories and profane, ruthless humor, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is a refreshing slap for a generation to help them lead contented, grounded lives.

problemsolving

Problem Solving

communication

Communication

#1 New York Times BestsellerOver 10 million copies soldIn this generation-defining self-help guide, a superstar blogger cuts through the crap to show us how to stop trying to be "positive" all the time so that we can truly become better, happier people.For decades, we’ve been told that positive thinking is the key to a happy, rich life. "F**k positivity," Mark Manson says. "Let’s be honest, shit is f**ked and we have to live with it." In his wildly popular Internet blog, Manson doesn’t sugarcoat or equivocate. He tells it like it is—a dose of raw, refreshing, honest truth that is sorely lacking today. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is his antidote to the coddling, let’s-all-feel-good mindset that has infected American society and spoiled a generation, rewarding them with gold medals just for showing up.Manson makes the argument, backed both by academic research and well-timed poop jokes, that improving our lives hinges not on our ability to turn lemons into lemonade, but on learning to stomach lemons better. Human beings are flawed and limited—"not everybody can be extraordinary, there are winners and losers in society, and some of it is not fair or your fault." Manson advises us to get to know our limitations and accept them. Once we embrace our fears, faults, and uncertainties, once we stop running and avoiding and start confronting painful truths, we can begin to find the courage, perseverance, honesty, responsibility, curiosity, and forgiveness we seek.There are only so many things we can give a f**k about so we need to figure out which ones really matter, Manson makes clear. While money is nice, caring about what you do with your life is better, because true wealth is about experience. A much-needed grab-you-by-the-shoulders-and-look-you-in-the-eye moment of real-talk, filled with entertaining stories and profane, ruthless humor, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is a refreshing slap for a generation to help them lead contented, grounded lives.

Mark Manson (born 1984) is a professional blogger, entrepreneur, and former dating coach. Since 2007, he's been helping people with their emotional and relationship problems. He has worked with thousands of people from over 30 different countries. He regularly writes and updates his blog at: www.markmanson.net

Mark Manson

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

Putting a name to your feelings decreases their intensity. So whether you're feeling sad, anxious, angry, or scared, acknowledge it--at least to yourself. Also, pay attention to the way those emotions can affect your choices. When you're feeling anxious you may be less inclined to take risks. When you're excited you may be more impulsive. Increasing your awareness of your emotions can decrease the chances that you'll make irrational decisions based on emotions only.

1. Practice labeling your emotions.

Naming your emotions is only part of the battle--you also need skills to regulate your emotions. Think about your current coping skills.Do you eat when you're nervous? Do you drink to calm down? Do you vent to your friends when you're angry? Do you stay home when you're anxious? Those common strategies may make you feel better in the moment but they will make you feel worse over the long-term.Look for coping skills that are good for you over the long-term (ones that will help regulate your emotions now without wreaking havoc on your health, relationships, or tasks in the long-term).

2. Establish healthy ways to deal with uncomfortable emotions.w

The way you think affects how you feel and how you behave. Thinking things like, "I can't stand this," or "I'm such an idiot," robs you of mental strength. Respond to unproductive and irrational thoughts with something more helpful. So instead of saying, "I'm going to mess this up," remind yourself, "This is my chance to shine and I'm going to do my best." Changing those conversations you have with yourself can be the most instrumental thing you could do to change your life.

3. Identify and replace unhealthy thought patterns.

The best way to train your brain to think differently is by changing your behavior. Do hard things--and keep doing them even when you think you can't. You'll prove to yourself that you're stronger than you think.Establish healthy daily habits as well. Practice gratitude, exercise, get plenty of sleep, and eat a healthy diet so your brain and your body can be at their best.Seek out people who inspire you to be your best. And create an environment that supports your efforts to build a healthy lifestyle.

4. Take positive action.

Pay attention to your bad habits that rob you of mental strength (we all have them). Whether you feel sorry for yourself or you resent other people's success, it only takes one or two to keep you stuck in life.Once you become aware of your bad habits, devote energy into replacing them with healthier alternatives. Then, you'll be able to step out of the hamster wheel and actually move forward toward your goals.

5. Give up the bad habits that rob you of mental muscle.

Just like it takes time and practice to become physically strong, building mental strength takes dedication as well. But building mental muscle is the key to feeling your best and reaching your greatest potential.Commit to practicing mental strength exercises every day and make each year your best year ever.

Become Your Strongest Self

Here are five things you can start doing now to make yourself mentally stronger this year:

No matter what your goals are, you'll need mental strength to get there. 

health

Health

habits

Habits

5 Ways to Make Yourself Mentally Stronger This Year

Recently, the concept of practicing <a href="https://thehumancondition.com/mindfulness/">mindfulness</a> has gained in popularity, becoming at least three times more commonplace in the United States over the last decade.<a href="https://www.mindful.org/meditation-is-the-fastest-growing-health-trend-in-america/">1</a> <a href="https://thehumancondition.com/mindfulness/">Mindfulness</a> is the state of <a href="https://thehumancondition.com/mindful-awareness-health-and-mental-wellness/">being aware</a> of one’s thoughts and actions in the <a href="https://thehumancondition.com/present-moment-awareness/">present moment</a> in a nonjudgmental manner. Research has linked this <a href="https://thehumancondition.com/mindful-awareness-health-and-mental-wellness/">awareness</a> to greater well-being, positive affect, self-regulation, and protection against <a href="https://thehumancondition.com/mental-health-and-conditions/depression/">depression</a> and <a href="https://thehumancondition.com/anxiety-and-related-conditions/">anxiety</a>.

An Overview of the Mindful Attention Awareness Scale (MAAS)

The Mindful Attention Awareness Scale (MAAS) is a self-report tool that measures an individual’s ability to practice mindfulness in their day-to-day life.

moneyandinvestments

Money & Investments

An Overview of the Mindful Attention Awareness Scale (MAAS) - The Human Condition

You know if what you're doing or what you're thinking is good for you or bad for you. It's up to you to point yourself in the right direction. To do that, you have to place a tremendous amount of trust in yourself. If, in the past, you've tried to develop a healthier relationship with food and failed, it might be difficult for you to trust that you will make better choices and succeed this time.

It's up to you

When all is said and done, only you know which path is best for you.

There's a saying among food addicts: All you can do is the next right thing. Trusting yourself to do better is always the next right thing.

Trusting yourself often means following your intuition or your <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/intuition">gut feelings </a>. Intuition is a great <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/self-help">self-help </a>tool because we all have it and it's with us at all times. Your intuition can tell you a lot about what you really want and don't want in your life, and what you need to be successful.

Your intuition

Unfortunately, your intuition is all too often ignored. Your gut instinct might not seem logical, desirable, or even practical, so you might disregard it and let your rational mind take over. Or in the past, you might have trusted <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/diet">diet </a>plans to help you lose weight and when they failed, you might have wrongly attributed the failure to yourself. Or you might be too distracted by emotions or external noise to pay <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/attention">attention </a>to what your intuition says. But just like physical pain, your intuition is usually trying to tell you something important.

Gut instinct

Use that knowledge to guide you to making better decisions for yourself in the future. You'll find it easier to trust yourself if you believe you are in control of your own destiny, you're responsible for most of what happens to you from this point on, and you'll get what you want by working hard. If you feel your life is out of your control or you have little control over what and how you eat, you will probably feel <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/anxiety">anxious </a>and less able to trust your own decisions.

You're responsible for most of what happens to you

If you're an emotional overeater, and you've struggled to manage your weight over time, you probably now have a better understanding of the physical and psychological reasons for your eating behaviour, and you know diets don't work. You know there are underlying reasons why you have food issues, and you know you have to address those issues before you can permanently change your eating habits.

emotional overeater 

Emotion, Question, Decision, Trust, People, Energy; follow, act and get results!

When all is said and done, only you know which path is best for you.

Trust Yourself

Trust can help bring us closer to other people. Trusting others, such as family members and friends, can reassure us that we’ll be helped when we need it. It’s the foundation of any healthy relationship — including the relationship you have with yourself.

Overview

Trusting yourself can build up your confidence, make it easier for you to make decisions, and reduce your stress levels. And the good news is that even if you don’t trust yourself now, with some effort you can build up that trust over time.

Confidence

There’s no one more important to trust than yourself. Sometimes we lose trust in ourselves after we make a mistake or after someone criticizes us harshly or constantly. It can feel more difficult to make decisions when you can’t trust yourself because you fear you’ll make the wrong choice. Or you might be more prone to criticizing your own decisions after you make them.

Tips for building trust in yourself

Building trust in yourself can help boost your decision-making skills and self-confidence. This can make life feel a little easier and much more enjoyable. Here are some tips to help you learn how to trust yourself:

If you fear how others will look at you or judge you, you might find it difficult to be yourself around other people. Acting like a different person than who you really are is a sign that you’re lacking self-confidence and trust in yourself. Other people will be able to sense that.

1. Be yourself

So how do you build up your trust enough to be yourself around others? When you start to feel insecure around others, remind yourself that it’s OK to be you. Start by practicing around the people you feel most comfortable with, like your friends and close family. Take note if you feel vulnerable or uncomfortable and keep spending time with these people until your insecure feelings start to disappear.Once you can be yourself around other people, they’ll treat you with more trust. This can help you build up your trust in yourself.

Often, we aim high with our goals. Instead of aiming to make $50,000 a year from our job, we aim to make $100,000. Instead of trying to complete a project in two weeks, we try to do it in one week. And setting our goals high can be a good thing, because it motivates us to work hard for what we want.

2. Set reasonable goals

Unfortunately, setting goals that are too ambitious has a major downside. When we don’t reach our big goals, we experience failure. Failing often can reduce your self-confidence and ability to trust yourself.Instead of setting one big goal, try setting many little goals that put you in the direction of your big goal. Doing so will make your big goal more realistic. You’ll also gain confidence and trust in yourself while accomplishing the smaller goals along the way.

You’ve probably heard the term “unconditional love.” Maybe it’s been mentioned in relation to the connection a parent has with their child, or the love that exists between siblings, friends, or even romantic partners. But did you know that it’s also very important to love yourself unconditionally?

3. Be kind to yourself

Loving yourself unconditionally means getting rid of negative thoughts about yourself and any self-criticism after you make a mistake. Start by keeping a close eye on your inner voice, and how it reacts to your actions. Is it kind or mean? Is it accepting or critical? When you can love yourself unconditionally, you can trust yourself unconditionally. And that builds confidence.

Everyone is better at some things and worse at others. You probably have a good idea of what things you excel at and which things you don’t do as well with. Trusting yourself means being able to attempt to do all kinds of things without judging yourself too harshly.

4. Build on your strengths

However, if you’re looking to build trust in yourself, it can be helpful to do more of the things that you’re good at and less of the things that you aren’t great at. If you’re not sure what you’re good at, ask those people closest to you. Spend more time doing those things and building your trust knowing you’ll excel at those things. Be accepting of your strengths, as well as your weaknesses.

When you don’t trust yourself, you might feel uncomfortable spending time looking inward. You might try to keep busy all day by constantly getting involved in activities or thinking about small things outside of yourself. Break the habit of looking away from yourself by patiently looking inward.

5. Spend time with yourself

You can look in with meditation. Try sitting with yourself in a quiet place for 5 to 15 minutes each day. Pay close attention to your breath and body. As any thoughts or self-criticisms pass by, acknowledge them and then let them go. Allowing time for this important one-on-one with yourself can build up your self-trust.

We lack trust in ourselves when we question our actions or decisions. Sometimes we might even question who we are. That can hurt.Build trust in yourself by breaking your habit of questioning your decisions. Next time you make a choice, stick with it. Even if it turns out not to be the best choice, there’s no use beating yourself up over the decision you made.

6. Be decisive

The best you can do is to learn from your mistake. Believe that you’ll make a better choice next time, and move on. Doing so will help you learn to be more trusting of yourself and your decision-making skills.

Trusting yourself is one of the most helpful things you can do for you in your life. It can help build your confidence, allow others to trust you more, and make the process of decision making much easier. To trust yourself, all you need is to make a little effort, create self-love, and find the ability to look inward.

The bottom line

Building trust in yourself is the key idea before doing anything that is worthwhile to own self and for others. I struggle with it a lot, for my personal goals, my friends help me to stay on track. Thank you and I love you all :)

Trusting yourself can build up your confidence, make it easier for you to make decisions, and reduce your stress levels. And the good news is that even if you don’t trust yourself now, with some effort you can build up that trust over time. Here are some tips to help you learn how to trust yourself.

6 Ways to Build Trust in Yourself

What we fear doing most is usually what we most need to do.

A person's success in life can usually be measured by the number of uncomfortable conversations he or she is willing to have.

To enjoy life, you don't need fancy nonsense, but you do need to control your time and realize that most things just aren't as serious as you make them out to be

People will choose unhappiness over uncertainty.

You are the average of the five people you associate with most, so do not underestimate the effects of your pessimistic, unambitious, or disorganized friends. If someone isn't making you stronger, they're making you weaker.

An edition expanded with more than 100 pages of new content offers a blueprint for a better life, whether one's dream is escaping the rat race, experiencing high-end world travel, earning a monthly five-figure income with zero management or just living more and working less.

motivationandinspiration

Motivation & Inspiration

What do you do? Tim Ferriss has trouble answering the question. Depending on when you ask this controversial Princeton University guest lecturer, he might answer: “I race motorcycles in Europe.” “I ski in the Andes.” “I scuba dive in Panama.” “I dance tango in Buenos Aires.” He has spent more than five years learning the secrets of the New Rich, a fast-growing subculture who has abandoned the “deferred-life plan” and instead mastered the new currencies—time and mobility—to create luxury lifestyles in the here and now. Whether you are an overworked employee or an entrepreneur trapped in your own business, this book is the compass for a new and revolutionary world. Join Tim Ferriss as he teaches you: • How to outsource your life to overseas virtual assistants for $5 per hour and do whatever you want • How blue-chip escape artists travel the world without quitting their jobs • How to eliminate 50% of your work in 48 hours using the principles of a forgotten Italian economist • How to trade a long-haul career for short work bursts and freuent "mini-retirements" • What the crucial difference is between absolute and relative income • How to train your boss to value performance over presence, or kill your job (or company) if it’s beyond repair • What automated cash-flow “muses” are and how to create one in 2 to 4 weeks • How to cultivate selective ignorance—and create time—with a low-information diet • What the management secrets of Remote Control CEOs are • How to get free housing worldwide and airfare at 50–80% off • How to fill the void and create a meaningful life after removing work and the office You can have it all—really. From the Hardcover edition.

Tim Ferriss is author of three #1 NYT/WSJ bestsellers: The 4-Hour Workweek, The 4-Hour Body, and The 4-Hour Chef. He is also a start-up advisor specializing in positioning, PR, and marketing (Uber, Evernote, etc.). When not damaging his body with abusive sports, he enjoys chocolate, bear claws, and Japanese animation.

Timothy Ferriss

The 4-Hour Workweek

The 4-hour Workweek

Given that it shares the same root word as “alone,” it’s easy to assume loneliness is just the absence of contact with other people.As Cacioppo explains in his book (Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection by John T. Cacioppo and William Patrick). loneliness is not merely a lack of human contact, but rather a lack of meaningful connection with other humans. It isn’t about the quantity of relationships, but rather the quality. This is why it’s possible to feel lonely even when you’re in a romantic relationship or have a large group of acquaintances.

What Is Loneliness?

To start, when we talk about the “pain” of loneliness, that’s more than just a metaphor. Using functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI), scientists have observed that the experience of social rejection activates the same region of the brain that “registers emotional responses to physical pain” . Being socially isolated might not be as imminently dangerous as a cut or burn, but the consequences can be just as serious over the long term.

The Pain of Loneliness

1. Don’t Blame Your Social SkillsWhen you’re feeling lonely, it’s easy to blame it on your lack of social skills. In general, though, a lack of social skills isn’t the issue. Rather, it’s that “feeling lonely makes us less likely to employ the skills we have” . accordingly to the book, loneliness is something that can happen to any of us. It doesn’t mean there’s anything weird or disordered about you – it’s an experience common to all humans. What matters, rather, is how you respond to loneliness, whether or not you use it as a catalyst to improve the depth of your connection with others.

6 things to do to be less lonely

Simply telling people to “connect more with others” isn’t very helpful on its own. This is especially true because each person’s genes are different.Therefore, don’t assume that you need to be super outgoing and have lots of social interactions to feel socially satisfied. You might well thrive with a small group of close friends whom you see once a week. On the other hand, your genes might predispose you to need more frequent social connection, and that’s fine too.

2. Assess How Much Connection You Need

<ol><li>Intimate connectedness: This is connection “up close and personal,” typically with a significant other.</li><li>Relational connectedness : This is the broader (but still close) connection you have with friends and family.</li><li>Collective connectedness –This type of connection describes belonging to a club, professional organization, or even an entire nation.</li></ol>In general, we need a healthy mix of the above types. However, note that this isn’t universally true. What matters, again, is that the types and level of social connection you have match your genetic preferences.

3. Recognize the 3 Different Types of Social Connection

Once you’ve resolved to become more connected with others, Cacioppo recommends finding opportunities “to get small doses of the positive sensations that come from positive social interactions”.Each positive interaction you have gives you further evidence that you can connect with others. This can then help you develop the confidence you need for deeper, more vulnerable forms of connection later on.One of the lowest-risk ways to get started is through volunteering , positive social interactions that can boost your confidence.

4. Extend Yourself (Slowly and Carefully)

When you start reaching out to people not every interaction will be a success. maybe its a small talk Or the passerby you smile at on the street may stare at the ground and keep moving. Interactions that turn out this way don’t mean you’re a failure, or that no one wants to talk to you. As Cacioppo says, “A million and one factors that have absolutely nothing to do with you can influence people’s moods and reactions” .So don’t use a couple of bad reactions as evidence that you can’t connect with people. Just move on and keep trying.

5. Have No Expectations

Throughout Loneliness , Cacioppo stresses that loneliness is not a mental disorder . At the same time, however, chronic loneliness can put you at risk for depression , and social anxiety can make it harder to connect with people in the first place.Therefore, I encourage you to seek the services of a mental health professional if you’re struggling with loneliness.Remember that whatever you’re struggling with, loneliness or otherwise, you don’t have to do it alone.

6. Seek Professional Help

What causes loneliness, and what can we do about it? This article examines the underlying science to answer both of these questions.

loveandrelationships

Love & Relationships

How to Be Less Lonely: 6 Science-Backed Techniques to Try

<ul><li>positive thinking expands my gratitude and reminds me what I value.</li><li>Negative thinking helps me look my pain and problems in the eye.</li></ul>To live a full life, I can’t ignore my appreciation or my problems. Both matter. Together, they give me an even-handed view of what’s happening, so I can decide what’s working and what’s not.Believing in positive or negative thinking at the exclusion of the other is extremism. ﻿

Positive  vs Negative thinking

Negative thinking is . . . a willingness to consider what is not working. What is not in balance? What have I ignored? What is my body saying no to?

Power of thinking is about trusting ourselves to “to face the full truth, whatever that full truth may turn out to be."<ul><li>Better to sit with my grief now than let it mutate into a menace as consequence at repercussions of repressing emotions.</li><li>We can’t have lights without shadows, fullness without emptiness, or joy without suffering. These elements complement one another.</li><li> “Always think positively!” trades this observable dynamic for a delusion.</li></ul>

What is the power of thinking

Believing in positive or negative thinking at the exclusion of the other is extremism.

The power of thinking

"It's not enough to be busy, so are the ants. The question is, what are we busy about?"

"The key is in not spending time, but in investing it."

"The shorter way to do many things is to only do one thing at a time."

"The common man is not concerned about the passage of time, the man of talent is driven by it."

"Most of us spend too much time on what is urgent, and not enough time on what is important."

Be mindful of your time. Once it's gone, it's gone forever.

timemanagement

Time Management

22 Time Management Quotes to Inspire You to Achieve Your Goals

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